Private Heavy is the Head

[Kal]

Responsibility. It could be a source of motivation or self-worth, but also a weighty burden, especially if carried alone.

Noelle Varanin, though she occasionally listened to his wise counsel (and the adequate council of her advisors), was the kind to feel that weight heavier than most. She tended to ask more of herself the tougher things got.

Coping with that stress was essential, but she had to do that in her own Echani way. Unlike him, she did not have the luxury of lapsing into timeless meditation in the depths of the Netherworld or sharing the totality of one's struggles and experiences, mind-to-mind.

Well, the latter was technically possible, but mortals were oh-so-concerned about privacy.

<You're looking a bit ragged. Feel better?> It was always a bit hard to tell with Kal, but he seemed genuinely concerned for her wellbeing. He could easily see how a tragic accident might push an already overstressed individual over the edge, though he had a certain practised detachment, having witnessed souls beyond number pour into the land of the dead.

<I am more than capable of handling a hangover. If you have one.>

Noelle Varanin​

 

[Noelle Varanin]

Ragged.

That was one way to put it. The people lost in the avalanche couldn't say the same. Noelle had been throwing so much of herself into the restoration, she hadn't paused long enough to consider what might happen if it failed.

Her little break and run from her entourage last night had given her plenty of space to think. The fact she had done it in August's arms was another matter all together.

She grimaced, and closed her study door behind her.

"I should not have left like that," she acknowledged. "Left" being a pretty way of saying "up and disappeared in the middle of a diplomatic moment". She would have felt worse about the strain she put on him, if not for the fact she also knew he could have found her easily, if he wanted to.

Kal had a way of always knowing.

"Did you settle Lord Arns alright? I was suppose to be the benefactor of that ball..."

And she was right back to business it seemed. She stripped off her coat and moved for the doors to her personal quarters, looking back at him as she went.

 

[Kal]

<You were distraught. Given the circumstances, it was quite understandable.>

Goodness knew his own reaction would have been drastically larger had it been a number of his kind's young finding their lives cut short, but then they were not only rarer, but they were also far less susceptible to sickness or accidents.

"He was somewhat annoyed by your sudden departure but mellowed out once we started discussing our shared fondness for Gamorrean opera." The subtle quirking of his lips, he really was getting the hang of this whole body-piloting thing, communicated his true feelings about the vaguely harmonic grunting effectively enough.

Fortunately, encyclopedic knowledge of all manner of trivialities and an aptitude for lying to Echani (hard to read his body language when his mind derived something more than neurons and hormones) were terribly useful in politics.

Doubly so when combined with some surveillance measures of highly dubious legality.

Noelle Varanin​

 

[Noelle Varanin]

"Yes, well... We'll give him a seat besides me at the next dinner," she dismissed, distracted as she stripped off her coat and pulled at the strings holding her hair back.

It was hard to think about something as feeble as a lords ego, not after last night with so many lost. "I... should see to it that the funeral is funded. And address my schedule- Oh, chit, I will need a proper dress." She stressed, struggling with the clips at her back. She didn't have a dedicated hand maid and moments like this, it just took more time to retrieve one than do it herself.

More and more lately doing it herself meant broken snaps and missed meetings-- Her thoughts slipped back to him. Her her skin blushed and grew path all at once. She blinked away the embarrassment.

"And I'll be sending Lord Oreno an apology." She stated, more for herself than him. She had crossed lines that night, and it was not only unprofessional but unfair for the Lord she had spurned off duty alone.

 

[Kal]

"Noelle." Gesturing airily with his index and middle finger, the clips she was struggling with came loose. "Relax. Nothing you just mentioned requires your immediate attention beyond giving an order to a servant or three."

Smirking softly, his tone was teasing. "Especially Oreno, who I'm guessing is more than happy with last night?"

Given how much she was blushing, he assumed as much, anyway. Eying her critically, he shook his head. "You really need a proper assistant. Or a vacation. Preferably both. I could get you a capable golem and a spot under a different name in some posh resort, if you like?" He doubted she would take him up on either, but it never hurt to try.

If nothing else she should find more beings to confide in and/or delegate responsibility to.

Noelle Varanin​

 

[Noelle Varanin]

"You cannot have a golem as a Queen," Noelle countered critically.

"...But I suppose I could take another assistant, if you're too busy to keep up. And besides," she stepped behind the dressing wall, sliding out of yesterday's gown for a fresh slip.

"I already took the rest of the day off. I was thinking, for the Solstice, we might host another ball..." She stepped out and moved for the frock laid against her bed, no longer perturbed by the concept of privacy with the shadow that had literally lived in her mind for the better part of a year.

"And I could give you a list of invites to hand out... Personally, if you don't mind," she mused, her thoughts locked on one face in particular. The very same face she had been distracted by for months.

"I think it's time for a change."

 

[Kal]

"Sure you could." An image accompanied the statement - a badly sculpted clay copy of Noelle in an ill-fitting dress.

"That would be a good idea, yes - unless you would prefer a Shade?" He found himself dubious. The beings were useful to his kind, but he seemed to remember Noelle finding one 'creepy'. Something about it being an uncanny valley simulacrum of Kal himself, most likely. He could make one based on her mind, but that would likely offend her even more.

As usual, Kal paid no attention to her changing clothing in front of him, beyond merely reaffirming a preference for attires able to put themselves on. "Certainly, I have a gift for appearing from the shadows bearing documents."

It seemed likely that he was jesting, but it could be hard to tell, at times.

Noelle Varanin​

 

[Noelle Varanin]

She gave him a hard look anyway.

"As Lord Vae. Honestly the way you act you'd think you'd have a little black book tracking every favor you ever lent."

 

[Kal]

Chuckling heartily, Kal shook his head, visibly amused by the statement.

"Oh goodness no. Only major favours are recorded in the Ledger, the rest I simply memorise."

There was no reason to file paperwork in triplicate for small fish and minor services; he was a scholar, not a bureaucrat. It was always possible his associates kept such records, of course. Some were detail-oriented in the extreme and he was not prone to excessive secrecy among his own kind. That was reserved for dealing with dubious meatbags.

"You know, the first favour you owe me is recorded with my associates too. Involuntary bindings involve a great deal of paperwork." The 'do not eliminate' form would likely be especially important to her personally.