Private Hearts dance

[Aiden Porte]

Coruscant
Temple Gardens

It was a bit into the afternoon around midweek. And things around the temple seemed rather slow and steady on this day. The padawan wasn't trying to complain about that, but he just noticed that it was still usually busy around this time. It wasn't until late in the evening where things would really quite down. Just the distant sounds of the night life that was Coruscant. If laid in bed and listened good enough, one could still hear the sounds that they offered. However in the temple was the sound of sometimes small chatter of those that were getting back to their rooms or even late night meetings that would take place between the Jedi Knights.

Heck, even the Temple Guard catching some Jedi Padawans sneaking around late at night. On that though he couldn't help but muse about it. Much had happened since he arrived here, it had been several months already. In the last few months, he had constructed his own lightsaber, on the hunt of the notorious exchange like group that were on the hunt for Jedi Padawans. Entered a nightclub granted that wasn't on his own accord. One could say that he got dragged or forced into it. He danced that night, but terribly. He couldn't help but admit, that it was fun. He eased up a bit, it was okay to have fun every once in a while. However the Jedi Padawan still remained as he was, eager to learn and at the forefront of keeping everyone he could safe. Which lead to deeper lessons with the force as well as with the lightsaber blade.

Aiden looked to his right on the marble bench as their was a back and it was filled with Jogan fruit. The fruit was persevered incredibly well and he was happy that he gathered it for his Master. Well, more friend than master, meh it could be both. He tried to make sure he kept things professional, however with Solenne Abraxas it was different. She was a kind person, with a gentle heart. And yet she had that silent fury he felt was there. Perhaps he felt she was not afraid.

She was just.....strong.

And he couldn't help but care for her deeply. She had grown to be a good friend to him. He had inquired a visit with her, when she was here at the Temple. It would do him a great deal of good to see and speak to her again. He had his own agenda for the meeting as well. He hadn't talked much to anyone else about this, but he felt she would understand or at least offer some advice as to what he was feeling or even thinking about.

Love was an emotion. A word yes, but that word held such power and formidable strength. Aiden had long thought about such things, he was eighteen years old. Even more so there seemed to be a push in his mind. While he thought of Aveline, whom was just a good friend or anyone else. There was always that thought of joy and fear especially for him. Joy of having someone to talk to and to experience love, but then what could happen should something terrible take place.

How would one deal with that?

How do you deal with losing someone that you love?

Aiden knew that death was a natural part of life. That was instilled in him since he was young. He knew that one day he would lose his Father and mother, friends and the like. Those that he loved, but that was a different love. What would he do if he lost them, and what would he do if he lost someone that he was in love with romantically. Everyone knew the story of Anakin Skywalker and the stories of old. That was incredibly farfetched for the Jedi Padawan to become something like that.

Aiden was incredibly strong and knew who he was, but could that emotion tip the scales and balance.

Aiden had yet to have his first full brush with the darkside, yet losing that true love could indeed bring dark thoughts of hate and anger at the situation.

He often thought he was thinking about it too much. But he needed some guidance....

The Padawan hoped that Solenne would be able to help him, aide him in the understanding of this emotion.

 

[Solenne Abraxas]

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Location: Coruscant Jedi Temple
Tag: Aiden Porte

"Be sure to finish chapter three by the end of the week. You'll need it for our next lesson!"

Solenne called after the eager Padawan learners as they hurried out of her classroom in the great halls of the Jedi Temple on Coruscant. She had traveled for a variety of reasons over the last month or so but she always returned to one of her deepest callings. Teaching. She loved showing others how to accomplish their goals with confidence and safety. It didn't necessarily need to be in a classroom but that was most often where she found the most willing students.

One of the younglings paused, wrapped both arms around her waist, and then ran away before she could say much more about it. A little surprised but not disheartened she shook her head slowly. Another Master might have counseled them against acting on something so impulsively but Solenne could only see it for what it was. Happiness. Security. Which, was something children needed to grow into mature and well-rounded young adults.

What did the Jedi Order think would happen when they took younglings from their home, from their family, and replaced it with a new one? There was a lot of baggage to work through—Including but not limited to abandonment issues. Solenne aimed to help with that. Not just for the sake of Padawans and Initiates in the present, but for those that would come in the future. Those that she looked after one day would eventually take her place. They would be the Master with their own pupils.

Solenne aimed to prepare them for that. To show them right from wrong. Compassion.

When the auburn-haired woman got a little ping that Aiden Porte wanted to meet with her while he was planetside she thoughtfully cleared her schedule for the afternoon. He had been called to many a duty as of late, more than even she, when it came down to it. She would enjoy catching up and hearing about his travels. When the last of her students dispersed, she cleaned up the room and put the utensils and props away before ensuring she had everything ready for the next lesson.

From there the azure-clad Master moved from the Temple to the Gardens at a leisurely pace. Padawan Porte had not specified a time, but her gut told her sometime after lunch and after classes. It didn't surprise her to see a familiar dark head seated on the same wooden bench that they had both occupied together in the past. It was a nice spot. Topped with flowering trees and little buds of things that had yet to fully bloom. It was peaceful. Not at all, like the world outside the Temple.

Nothing on Coruscant looked like this.

"A credit for your thoughts, little dove?"

Her words would fall on his ears like a refreshing rain. It was something she always asked him. A way to know about his day, if something was bothering him, and to break the ice kindly. He was a Padawan now but sooner or later that would change. He was several years her junior and although she often counseled him as needed, truly, she could call him a friend. There was simply a time to be the professor and a time to be a companion. Solenne knew the difference between the two.

She stood behind the bench in similar robes. Soft blue with darker blue accents and white peeking out from beneath her sleeves. The hood was down and chocolate hair spilled down her back while the sun touched the waves and left it with a hint of red. Her skin was healthily fair and the same scent of vanilla and rose heralded her arrival.

"I think you've grown an inch or two since I've seen you last. Feel free to stop at any time, Aiden."

 

[Aiden Porte]

Coruscant
Temple Gardens

The warm signature and even the wonderful smell of Solenne Abraxas had made the Jedi Padawan smile. She carried herself with a silent strength as he had thought of before. He smiled and turned to look at her and bowed his head respectfully before standing up.

"It might be more than just a credit or two, Master Solenne." He couldn't help it, but he moved forward and gave her a big hug. Aiden was a hugger by nature, and while he new others might not be so. He had to remember that everyone wouldn't be as welcome to a hug as others would. But he felt that Solenne would appreciate it.

The Padawan backed away and held his hand out horizontally as he in jest measure his height to hers. "I'll try to not grow so much." The padawan said with a small laugh. "Oh!" He reached down to the basket and held it out towards her. "My trip to Lothal was a success, and so was the visit to the orchids. It was quite pleasant to be there. If you ever get the chance you should go sometime."

He cleared his throat as he stepped back and offered her a seat. "I hope I wasn't disturbing you Master Solenne. There was just something that has been on my mind for a time already. And I knew your guidance would help and......" Aiden said as his hands began to spin around each other trying to find the right words to say. "It would just lead me in the right direction."

The Jedi Padawan cleared his throat again and opened his mouth once more but it took a second to find the wording. "Um, have you ever....been in love before?" Aiden inquired with an almost sad look. He didn't not want to make her feel uncomfortable or anything like that. That was the last thing he wanted.

 

[Solenne Abraxas]

​

Location: Coruscant Jedi Temple
Tag: Aiden Porte

Solenne hadn't expected the young Padawan to stand for the occasion but was pleasantly surprised to be almost lifted from her feet in a bear hug. The swift act after the respectful bow of his head caught her off guard but the Jedi Master found a laugh bubbling up in her chest. Briefly, she returned it with a soft pat on the back. Aiden was so expressive. Such a gentle soul. "That's the second time I've been hugged this afternoon—Is there some sort of conspiracy I'm not aware of?"

Her teasing words on a secret hugging brigade fell into a soft silence while perceptive hazel orbs flickered over the young man. More than just a credit or two?

"Is something wrong?"

Sol had heard nothing but solid reports on his exploits, but that was only information gathered from a third perspective. Performance evaluations did not accurately capture the frame of mind of the subject. It could only make guesstimates, which, were often incorrect. She shook her head slightly when he agreed not to grow so much and was quickly drawn off-topic by the large basket. He was moving very quickly hyper-focused and it only proved that she needed to prepare for the real reason for his visit.

Certainly, the gift was appreciated. But—It wasn't everything.

"I'm glad it went well. I heard that you performed most admirably.", she intoned delicately while peeking beneath the cloth to see what the young man had brought her. Jogan. Soft lips curved into an indulgent smile at the memory of their last encounter and a heap-load of tartlets that had been assembled for the younglings. "Thank you, Aiden. This is very kind. If you come by tomorrow, I'll be sure to make something you'll enjoy."

Solenne was legendary for being able to make sweet exotic treats out of virtually nothing. It was the perks of living abroad for so long it seemed. The Jedi Master took the seat that he offered with aching grace and the material of her robes fluttered down to rest while she placed the basket near her feet. His gestures were all very cordial, and very welcome, but she could still feel something larger spinning in his mind. The way he cleared his throat, spoke so fast, moved so much—It was all indicative of one thing.

A youngling with a classic case of ants in the pants. He was full of nervous energy.

"You know that you're never a bother. Call on me as you please. If I am available—I will answer. If I'm not I'll get back to you as soon as I can.", Solenne immediately reassured, brows knitting, with a vague sense of concern. She had done everything possible to ensure that her students felt welcome and respected in her presence. Was he just being polite? The dark-haired woman reached out to his spinning hands and held them within her own for a moment. Providing security, stability, and a safe place to move forward.

Whatever lingered on his mind that had him so wound up, truly, Solenne would be honored to help him through it. "Tell me then... What's on your mind?", the words came easily, though, the answer was not one that she had expected. He was coming of age. Certainly, the Force could have been courteous enough to let her know it was coming…But, no, it seemed that they would need to wade through this dilemma in the dark. The sadness that splashed itself across his youthful features drew a wealth of understanding from her core. Solenne patted the top of his hand soothingly and let the dust settle a moment.

It had to be hard to step forward about such a subject. Even, in the realm of mere potential versus actually facing the quandary. Honest as always Solenne slowly nodded her head in the affirmative. "I have been. Yes.", she spoke, though, gently omitted the fact that she still was. Solenne had eyes for only one. That had not changed in all of her years. Hazel eyes flickered toward his face.

"Do you have feelings for someone?"

 

[Aiden Porte]

Coruscant-Jedi Temple
Solenne Abraxas

"That's the second time I've been hugged this afternoon—Is there some sort of conspiracy I'm not aware of?"

Aiden laughed and he shook his head. "Nonsense, not against you. You are probably the most flawless individual I have ever met." Aiden said with a big smile. "And I'm a big hugger, for the most part. A hug can do wonders for a person, it can actually light up someone's life if they feel at their lowest point."

And thus the conversation turned to why Aiden had called her here. He hoped he didn't seem to scrambled with his thoughts, but the easiest way for him was to express himself and hopefully it push him in the correct direction.

"Do you have feelings for someone?"

"Well, no." Aiden began as he cleared his throat. "Obviously there are girls my age and such and that feeling of relationships and such always is present. I'm just curious about being in love, and if that were to get lost?" Aiden said as he looked towards Solenne, hoping he didn't confuse her at all. "I know that I love my friends, family, and all that sort. But being in love is different, and is that worth striving for? I know fear of loss, is a path to the dark side."

"I just need to know, if it is worth it." Aiden was eighteen years old, and he had a long life to live he felt. He knew his purpose in life since he was first able to use the force. These things seemed trivial but were needed to be known nonetheless.

 

[Solenne Abraxas]

​

Location: Coruscant Jedi Temple
Tag: Aiden Porte

"I'm teasing, Aiden."

But he had already given her a dissertation as to how she couldn't possibly be the subject of some scheme by his fellow Padawan Learners. The dark-haired woman chuckled softly at the notion of being flawless. If only. If only she was the epitome of faultlessness and never made mistakes. As if any Jedi could truly be without flaw or failure. To fail—Was to learn. They were always learning. "I assure you…"

"I am far from perfect."

Then came the carefully worded question that he seemed to be dreading. Perhaps, it was because the subject was so very taboo. The Order these days didn't really seem to frown on Jedi taking partners and marrying as they once had but it was still a sore subject and often up for debate. When he cleared his throat and denied that he was under the thrall Solenne raised an eyebrow. Aiden wasn't the type to lie—But it was a little too on the nose to simply be out of the blue.

"The relationships that you have with your classmates should be fostered. You will come to care for them; trust them. Hold on to that during your adventures and take peace in knowing you are never alone.", Solenne intoned delicately, still, holding his hand for the moment. The soft pat to the back of it seemed designed to reassure him that his questions weren't taboo. That he could and should ask when it bothered him. "The romantic love that you speak of is extremely complicated for the everyday individual…It is doubly complicated in our world."

"Our rules can be strict. It's not necessarily a bad thing, but they are designed to keep us on our path. Fact is…Anyone with a connection to the Light can aspire to be a Jedi, but, being a Jedi is not for everyone. It is difficult and often thankless. Our way revolves around selflessly serving others and saving lives the best way we can. Doing our duty. It's not a hobby—"

"It's a way of life. We cannot afford "part-time" Jedi. It requires commitment. It must transcend all else…And that is where love begins to bring confusion to clarity. It changes the viewpoint. If it is to be embarked on you must find a way to perform your duties to their utmost at the same time. It is a risk. But, so is pretending blindly that it doesn't exist."

"There are many great thinkers and historians that will disagree…But Anakin Skywalker will eternally have my sympathy. I believe that his falling was our folly. His master could not see beyond regurgitated teachings and recognize that he was struggling before it was too late. He was misguided, distrusted, and mentally taxed—Which could easily happen to any of us. For any reason. Not simply because we have taken a husband or wife.", Solenne tried to explain without pushing her thoughts too hard on the young man. Her ideas were far more liberal than what traditionalists were used to. "The Dark is…Secretive, mysterious, and willful. Yes. It is possible that love could begin the path to the black. It is equally possible that taking a life could do the same. When we consider our responsibility to the galaxy it seems that it would be beneficial for us to know and understand the true depth of love. So that we might empathize with those we seek to aid. Emotional attachment can be a weakness…But it can also be a strength."

"Isolation, self-hate, and despondency are all triggers for the dark. I believe that possessiveness is that which must be avoided. That is the hallmark of a Sith. Not, attachment."

The Jedi Master paused to breathe for a moment and let everything sink in for Aiden. It was a lot of philosophy to digest and some of it even a decade ago would have been considered complete heresy. Solenne was of the mind that her students should make sound and informed decisions that supplied all the tools they might need to succeed in life.

She glanced up at the sky and mentally walked through the paces she had taken when realizing her heart was not her own. No matter how hard she tried to curb it. Simply saying it was not so, ignoring her feelings, did not make it real. It made her existence a game of pretending.

A lie.

"The New Jedi Order of old had many historical reasons for allowing our people to marry. I do not believe that Luke Skywalker wanted to take Force Sensitive children from their families. Most of his students were also adults, at the time, and were already married. Many of his students were also from non-Jedi Force Traditions and it would have been bad form to insist that they give up their emotional attachments. It was also the emotional connection to his father and focusing on compassion that redeemed him. He saw positive emotions as a way for the Jedi to learn, thrive, and connect with the rest of the galaxy. In that time period, at that moment, he felt it would have been morally reprehensible."

"At the end of the day…Minds and hearts are ever-changing. In the end—You must make the decision that you feel is appropriate to uphold your duty to yourself and the Order. When a loved one is lost, it could lead to the dark. Yes. But we could also use our teachings to know that nothing is ever truly gone. Take our love, and our memories, and bury them in our hearts where they might bloom evergreen. You are always welcome to seek your Master's for guidance. "

"Ever and always, we are with you."

She finished speaking for the moment and let the cool breeze steal the intensity of the discussion and soften the words. Solenne could see merit in both schools of thought. But—she had been born to an unadulterated and modest Jedi Family. Many knew that. It would have been hypocritical for her completely denounce marriage when the Order allowed it, it was her history, and she currently, at that moment, held far more than simple compassion for another.

Chocolate eyes swept across the waving grasses. Of all the questions he had asked over the years—This was by far the most difficult to answer.

 

[Aiden Porte]

Coruscant-Jedi Temple

When she started to speak, he did as he always did. Listened attentively , not losing any word at any juncture through her explanation. Her words to him he could clearly understand and they did shed a new light for him. While he had his thoughts correct about his friends and family and those sorts of things. He did indeed care deeply for those that he had met and had come to call friends. One of them was sitting right in front of him.

It was good that she mentioned that being a Jedi wasn't something part time. It took a long dedication, this was ingrained in him since he was a young boy. Aiden always felt that part of him was always covered. Everything that he has ever done was because he wanted to help people. He wanted to help everyone, carry their burdens. Help them with anything and everything. Guide them if they were lost and confused, heal them if they were hurt or sick. Defend those if they were swathed in darkness and doubt.

Granted, he was still a padawan and had an incredibly long way to go. But he was well prepared, ready and eager.

While all of this thought flowing through his mind he did feel one thing though.....

"Would falling in love be nice, I'm sure that sort of comfort is truly wonderful." Aiden began to say, he wasn't trying to say he was above it. It was just taxing on him, that fear perhaps of the unknown. What sort of strength could it provide he wanted to know, but he felt he would have to figure that out on his own. "Your words do me a great comfort Master Solenne." The padawan said with a big smile on his face. While Aiden knew that he had his parents to answer this question as well. He knew they wouldn't always be there. Sometime in the future AIden would be here seemingly alone

"I feel I just needed to know that if something were to happen. You would be there, and everyone else." Aiden said with a small nervous chuckle. To be that guiding light if he ever strayed off his course, just like he wanted to be for everyone else.

Such a delicate thing, he knew his parents made it work obviously. Not without trials and tribulations of course. Through their journey they finally made it here to this point. Kahne just turned fifty years of age and his mother was nearing there.

"You can count on me if you ever need anything, Master Solenne. I swear it." Aiden said with a small smile giving her an encouraging smile. Just a show of recognition, that he was going to be okay.


There was one other thing that Aiden had on his mind that he wanted to Solenne. "Master Abraxas, I have another question, more of a request actually. My master has taken a sabbatical it seems, it's unclear on when she will be back. Would you consider, would you do me the honor of taking me on as your padawan learner?"

Solenne Abraxas

 

[Solenne Abraxas]

​

Location: Coruscant Jedi Temple
Tag: Aiden Porte

"It can be. There is no greater joy. Likewise, there is no greater pain."

Aiden was so very innocent for a youngling his age. His mannerisms bespoke the fact that the way they held their children from the galaxy as a whole was stunting them. He was a sweet, kind boy, but the galaxy would take such as soul, eventually, and bring it to ruin. Solenne worried about preparing him for that day, when he, was caught by musings of the heart. She nodded softly when he thanked her.

She felt uncertain. The New Jedi Order was not against marriage as a whole, but many still found it heresy. There were so many temptations. This was the ultimate test.

A balancing act where many Jedi were oft on the verge of losing themselves to their affections. Her family, like many others, were prepared for this eventuality. They had time to adjust to it—Like the Green Jedi. This NJO had no such preparation. Only whispers of scorn.

"I will always be here for you, Aiden. Never forget that."

His promise was a kind one and she reached out to ruffle his hair gently. It lightened the topic enough to show that she recognized the fortitude of his heart. Strength of mind. It was not so dire, but it was a heavy conversation to have. Even in the theoretical. Though, this admission, opened the floor for something new. Solenne leaned back on the sun-warmed park bench to consider the request.

It was odd. Very, odd.

If a Master needed someone to take over in training their Padawan it would usually be at the behest of the Council. There was no taking a sabbatical from their young students. They remained together except in the most extreme of circumstances. A deep frown fluttered over stunning features while her brow creased. It was not that she did not want to take on a learner of her own—It was the implication that another Master was shirking their duties so terribly that it fell upon the student to claim a new teacher. That was a terrifying prospect. Perhaps…It was part of the reason the Temple Jedi struggled.

Without structure their path became clouded. Muddled.

"We do not often get to choose our students…", she breathed out after a moment, still, caught in a moment of deliberation. There was a larger issue at hand that the young man would not fully understand. "But…", Solenne paused, and slowly, came to her feet. A gentle hand reached for his chin so that she could hold it in place while pressing a motherly kiss to the crown of his head. Reassurance. She was not upset by this question, nor, by him. "I will speak to the Council and defer to their wisdom."

"If they will allow it…I would be happy to continue your training."

 

[Aiden Porte]

"I will always be here for you, Aiden. Never forget that."

"Thank you Master Abraxas." Aiden said with smile, and a small bow of his head in respect towards her. He couldn't deny that he had grown a strong bond with the Jedi Master in a short amount of time. Perhaps it was because he had a doubt in his mind that when he arrived here he wouldn't be able to keep up with his fellow Jedi. He was instructed on how the galaxy worked, and how dangerous things could be. He knew his father wanted him to experience things first hand. The best experience was gained through personal growth and journey.

Trust in yourself and trust in the force.

At the end of the day it came down to his own personal code. It was similar to Luric's. He put his friends and family above everything else. And she had grown quickly to become his family and such.

"If they will allow it…I would be happy to continue your training."

He could feel her hand on his chin and thus the motherly kiss came. It was a strong sense of, was it honor or perhaps happiness. That she had put much faith in him that she would be continue his training.

"Thank you." Those words conveying so much more than that simple 'thank you'

Solenne Abraxas