Happiness comes in Saltwater | The Je'daii Order

[Atefeh Lorr]

"Why were you afraid I was angry at you, Saok?" She said, the bright smile in her face still intact. She was so happy about seeing him again, Tefie couldn't think of a way to describe it. Yes, her heart had been filled with warmth, happiness and love ever since she left with her mommy. She loved [member="Jyn Lorr"] and [member="Arekk"] more than anything and was so grateful to have them. Nothing compared to the bliss that had been being taken into a loving family, to a wonderful home. But a part of her couldn't shake the feeling of guilt.

Of course, nothing of this had crossed her thoughts at the moment. She was too focused on Jyn and on the soothing pull she felt towards her to realize. She was leaving her friends behind. The children she had grown up with, whom she had shared the first few years of her life with. Tefie had been shown nothing but anger by some of the kids living in the orphanage, but she never blamed them. During those times, Stardust believed that what they said about her was true...but that maybe they wouldn't say it if things were better for all of them. She loved her new life, but she knew she didn't deserve better than the other children. "I-...I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye." She said, her sweet, high-pitched voice lowering as her bright eyes fell to the sand. It was the only apology she could muster at the moment.

Yet her thoughts were soon cheered up by the Ithorian's laugh, and her gaze returned to [member="Sobaan Palle"] who was still, then, bringing coconuts down from the tree. Tefie's own laughter echoed Saok's as she ran behind him, holding his hand. That ember of innocent hope was burning brighter than ever within her, and she couldn't enjoy the happiness of playing with her friends more. Once they reached the coconuts, another boy had also approached. He was a lot taller than them. He sort of reminded little Tefie of someone, but she couldn't quite place her finger on whom. As Saok and her approached them, Tefie spoke out, a shy friendliness in her voice. "Hi! I-uh...can we help with those?" She asked, meaning Saok and herself. Tefie didn't really know what coconuts were, she had never seen one before and they looked very curious to her.

[member="Damien Imura"] [member="Saok Mahl"]

 

[Lief]

"Not sir," he reiterated, as the girl took the time to neatly remove her shoes and socks so that she could actually walk upon the sand and feel it for what it was. He couldn't remember the first time he had ever seen sand, so it must have been earlier in his life. Perhaps on Morellia, long before the Republic snatched him away from his home. "Adi, remember?"

She needed to realize that there was no power struggle here, she didn't owe him anything, she didn't need to forget what it was to be a child. If anything she needed to be given the freedom to become a child once again. Together with little Emmie he made it across the shore toward some of the wetter sand which had been kissed by the salty tide, and once there he simply watched for a little time as she sank down into the sand and allowed it to run through her fingertips.

An amazing thing happened then, the quiet girl began to giggle. It was quiet at first, before her laughter drifted through the aid. It forced a huge smile from the typically gruff man, who dropped to his knees, uncaring of the fact that his trousers would be messy for the rest of the day now that they were covered in sand.

When she started to rub her scar he noticed the smattering of sand against it and gently reached out to brush it away, thankfully having yet to touch the sand himself. He'd had plenty of wounds himself in the past and knew how horribly itchy they could be even without being on a beach.

"You know, I think I might have something which will soothe that Snowflake."

While he didn't have a full on medkit on his person, he did have a couple of things within his pocket and the rest of the medical supplies were onboard the shuttle. He rummaged in his pocket, before pulling out a small tube which held a soothing salve within it. Offering it out to the girl he tried his best not to draw any further attention to the wound, still afraid that he might scare her off, and when she looked up and apologized for having fun of all things he simply shook his head.

It was like stepping on eggshells, though he did not mind as much as one might have thought. Had she been an adult that would have been a different story all together.

"Do not apologize for enjoying yourself, Sweetheart. That is what you are here to do. To have fun, to be a child... Okay?"

He waited to show her how to build with the sand, incase she wanted help applying the salve. After all her hands were full of sand, and that seemed counter productive.

[member="Emberly Carrick"]

 

[Lief]

"Because... Atty left without a word..."

He knew it was silly of him, after all plenty of children left without saying goodbye when they were adopted as quickly as Tefie had been. Saok was happy for her, he really was, she seemed so much happier and healthier now and he was glad that they had been brought back together like this.

"Does this mean Saok will see more of Atty?"

Excitement ran through him at that prospect. No more hiding away and trying to avoid the mean xenophobes, no it seemed as though here they were allowed to blossom. To be as they were, not as some expected them to be.

With Tefie at his side he ran through the sand toward the trees, and once there they both eyed up the funny boy dropping coconuts with amusement. He saw another boy, taller than even he - and for his age, Saok was remarkably tall - and could not help but wave a friendly hello toward him. While they waited for Sobaan to be finished with the coconuts he leaned in to whisper something to Tefie.

"All is forgiven, Atty, Saok is happy you are happy!"

The scent of coconut water drew his attention then, and he eyed the opened fruit almost hungrily with twitching eyestalks when it was handed over to Damien. It smelled sweet yet refreshing!

[member="Atefeh Lorr"] [member="Damien Imura"] [member="Sobaan Palle"]

 

[Valgærd]

“Adi.” I repeated, my cheeks growing warm, “sorry.”

He was so… nice. I was usually scared of grown-ups, especially men. They reminded me of father. But Adi… Adi was nice. He was gentle, like Zeph was. As I played in the sand, I could feel him beginning to smile as he knelt down beside me.

Unfortunately, I had forgotten about the sand being all over my hands, and now it was on my neck, making my scar itch even more. Adi reached over towards me. At first, I flinched reflexively, raising my shoulder and tucking my chin down. But the instinct passed, and I slowly made myself lean forward and lift my chin, so he could brush the sand away. All the while I cringed, why was I so scared and weak? No wonder father had left. He’d be very disappointed in me.

But the man beside me spoke, banishing those thoughts. He pulled out a small tube with something in it and held it out to me. I glanced at it. The idea of having a man I didn’t know touch my scar was scary, but I wanted to prove to myself, and to Zeph, that I was getting better with people.

“Th-thank you… Adi.” I replied, making sure to use his name, like he told me.

I glanced down to my own sand-covered hands and frowned, I didn’t want to take the tube from his hands and get sand all over it, so instead I just sat there, hands awkwardly hanging in the air at my sides.

“Could… um… could you please help me put it on?” I asked, lifting my chin a little.

It felt strange asking for help. Father had always punished me for needing it. But here... there was no father. There was only Miss Esis, and Adi, and the other kids. Here, it was alright to ask for help. I just… could use a little practice, I guess.

“H-how do we build a tower out of sand?” I asked, my thoughts drifting from my scar to the beach around us. The sand fell straight through my fingers, how would it told its shape enough to build anything?


[member="Adiara Drelas"]

 

[Lief]

The poor girl seemed at a loss.

Instead of tripping her up over it once again he let the matter lie when she apologized once more, glad to hear her using his name rather than the repulsive title which had no doubt been ingrained within her mind by whoever - nay, whatever - had caused her so much suffering. It made him sick.

Taking back the tube of salve when she asked for assistance, glad that she trusted him enough to do so, he squeezed just a tiny amount of it onto the tip of his finger and rubbed it over the scar tissue, being as gentle as he could while also ensuring it was massaged in enough to take action. While it wasn't instant, in a few minutes she would no longer notice the itching sensation at all.

Cleaning the remnants off on the edge of his shirt, after all his outfit had already been ruined by the sand, he returned the tube back to his pocket and smiled at her.

"There... All better. If you need it again you need only ask. Now, let's have some fun shall we?"

Glancing around he looked for something which might help them to shape the towers, but finding nothing he instead opted to begin scooping up the sand with both of his hands. Bundling it together into a pile, he gestured for her to sit down beside him as he started to shape it. With his hands, not the Force. He was loathed to use that damned energy, though he knew that his position among the Je'daii would force him to reconnect with it one of these days.

"What happened to your neck, Snowflake?" he asked, voice light as he attempted to do all that he could not to scare her off, to be approachable, though he knew the topic would likely be one she would shy away from. It was a risky move, having the potential to destroy all the trust he had begun to build up.

But if she did open herself up to him it could pay off.

That was the risk he was willing to take, to try and secure her wellbeing.

[member="Emberly Carrick"]

 

[Valgærd]

I decided I like Adi.

He put the cream away, declaring it was all better. I felt comforted by that. Father had never bothered with little confirmations like that, but Zeph did, and now so did Adi. I was realising how much they actually meant to me, those little phrases made me feel like I mattered. I smiled at the man as he cleaned his hands on his shirt. He said it was time we had some fun, and feeling a little excited for it, I nodded.

He reached his hands into the sand, digging it and piling it into the shape of a tower. He took a moment to gesture beside him, so I plonked myself down on the sand next to him, sitting cross-legged. Being scared all the time was hard work, and it was sorely tempting to just let myself sit and enjoy this moment. The sun was warming my skin, my scar was soothed, the water sparkled, if ever there was a time to just let myself have some fun, it was now.

I watched him shaping the tower, beginning to pack some sand around the base to make sure it was steady. He asked what happened to my neck... but it didn't sound like he was really concerned. It was just a question. Father had always taught me to speak only when spoken to, but when I was spoken to, I was to answer quickly and properly. Thankfully, Adi made that a little easier. I kept my eyes on the tower, watching my hands as I spoke,

"I was weak. Father c--" I faltered, my cheeks turning red and my eyes stinging with tears.

A lump formed in my throat as those memories came rushing back, that awful, awful day back home crushing me. But I'd been asked a question, and father would want me to answer it. In fact, pausing like I had would have earned a swift punishment from him. I wanted to be better. If I was going to go out and find him again, I wanted to be able to prove that I was strong. I took a deep breath, and tried again.

"Father did it so he could get away from Zeph." I said all at once, staring pointedly at the tower. Just focus on that. Emmie is just the little girl making a tower. She was never on Eshan, that was Emberly. Emberly's gone now.

"He's out there somewhere. I'll find him one day, when I'm no longer weak. Because Sith are not weak."

[member="Adiara Drelas"]

 

[Lief]

Her Father had done this to her?

Everything else the girl had said momentarily slipped from her thoughts as the full weight of that accusation struck him square in the chest. Adiara was not a Father, at least... Not that he knew of, but the mere thought of ever bringing so much as an ounce of pain to a child, much less one he himself had sired, made him feel physically repulsed.

There was no worse deed in his mind than breaking the trust of a child.

A flash of rage crossed his expression for a mere second, though he did a surprisingly good job at pushing it down and continuing to build the castle with the girl. He pushed a little sand toward her, encouraging her to participate and try to form something of her own, though for a few more moments he didn't actually speak. When he did he focused on some of her later words.

"You have never been weak," he told her, now that the tower was beginning to form, "And you should never have to worry over the likes of the Sith. You're safe here, Emmie, never doubt that okay?"

Glancing down to his side where she sat he tried to catch her gaze. That she was sat here with him now proved her strength.

"Zeph... He's the one who brought you to us?"

He would have to make note of that, to seek out the man in the coming days once the fieldtrip was over.

[member="Emberly Carrick"]

 

[Valgærd]

I felt a sudden burst of something that was like pure rage come from Adi after I spoke. It scared me, made me gasp and flinch. I had felt that before, when father was angry. Although I was used to such being accompanied by a smack or shouting. Rage was power, and father was very powerful. However with Adi... it passed. I didn't even see it on his face.

Still, what had I done to make him angry? Was it my blubbering about being weak? I cringed, father would be so disappointed.

"S-sorry, Adi." I said quietly, barely whispering.

My heart had started to race in my chest. I had been having fun building a tower out of sand, I had completely forgotten to behave myself. What if he told Zeph I'd made him angry? Zeph has been so good to me, I didn't want to disappoint him. What if he left like father did? Ran away because I was too weak? What if he did... the same... thing... I closed my eyes for a moment and took in a deep breath.

But then he spoke, telling me I was not weak, and that I didn't have to worry about the Sith here. I was... confused. Zeph had taught me that it was okay to ask when I was confused about something, so ask I did,

"But... Adi... I have to worry about the Sith," I replied, as matter-of-factly as I could, "I'm going to be one. When I am all grown up and strong enough."

I stopped to think about it as Adi pushed some sand in my direction. I decided I wanted to turn it into a statue of father, maybe to show Adi what I meant. Father was, after all, a powerful sith lord, and one day I would be expected to follow in his footsteps. That was why he did everything he did. He told me so himself, he was making me strong enough to be a sith one day. That's what he'd said, at least. I thought about what Adi had said. Was it possible that... I didn't have to be a sith? What happened to people who didn't want to be? My mama hadn't wanted to be... and she was gone now.

I started to pile the sand in front of me into a column, trying to round the top into the shape of a helmet. It was difficult, but I kept trying anyway. I became aware that Adi had glanced at me, and turned my eyes up to meet his. He asked about Zeph. Instantly I felt myself smiling without even meaning too. Nodding enthusiastically, I eagerly explained,

"Yes! Zeph is very nice. He rescued me and cooked me food and looked after me. He even gave me a plushie dragon toy, because dragons are strong."


[member="Adiara Drelas"]

 

[Lief]

She was an astute little thing, wasn't she?

He noticed how she picked up on his momentary bout of rage, and turned it on herself. As though somehow she was the cause of his frustrations. More fuel for the fire that was burning against the monster who had called himself her Father. Adiara shook his head and turned slightly in place so that he was facing Emmie instead of the towers they were constructing.

"Now, you listen here little miss," he began, his tone both caring and serious all wrapped into one, "You have nothing to apologize for, first of all, and secondly... You will not be a Sith if I have anything to say about it. Just because someone tells you that you have to be something doesn't make it so. When I was your age somebody tried to force me down a path I didn't want to take, they tried their best but I resisted. Why? Because I didn't agree with it. Never make anyone feel as though you're not worthy enough to take your own path through life. You're capable of doing wonderful things, but the choice of what that will be is entirely up to you. Do you want to be a Sith, Emmie? Do you know what that entails? No, sweetheart... I don't think you're anything like your Father, are you? You are strong, and brave, and free. He is the one who is weak, he succumbed to the allures of a darkness most foul. And rather than treat you with the love and respect you deserve he..."

Adiara shook his head, and let out a small sigh. Almost remembering who it was he was speaking to. A child, not a fellow adult.

"Nevermind. The point is, Snowflake, you choose your path. Not I, not your parents. Not even Zeph. You do. And don't let anybody tell you any different."

[member="Emberly Carrick"]