Approved Planet Graveyard

[James Justice]

(Graveyard from Space Source: Glenn Clovis)
[SIZE=12pt]
Name: Graveyard
Dev Threads: Graveyard; Exploring a Graveyard
Region: Unknown Region
System: Purgatory's Gate
Suns: 1 Red Giant known as Anathema ; 1 Blue dwarf known as Hope in concentric orbits.
Orbital Position: 3rd planet, habitable zone
Moons: none, there is a ring of debris surrounding the planet.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]System Features:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]--1 Black Hole: The two stars, and Graveyard in their pull orbit around this, making the system difficult to enter. The locals believe it is the entrance to hell, it is named "The Well of Souls."[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]--Debris field[/SIZE]

(A temple dedicated to nihilistic death worship and sacrifices. Source: Helteel Cathedral, Christian Piccolo)
[SIZE=12pt]Coordinates: V-10 just north of Argyra IV and south of Dredd
Rotational Period: 25 standard hours
Orbital Period: 900 local days

Class: giant terrestrial[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Diameter: N/A
Atmosphere: Type 2
Climate: Varried but slightly on the warmer side mostly temperate with appropriate arid, and humid zones for biodomes
Gravity: standard
Primary Terrain: Mountains, canyons, jungle, forests, grasslands, savannas, ruins

Native Species: none known
Immigrated Species: Lugubraa (Most of the population), human/near-human, Sith inbreds, Gamorean, Rancor, Scarlaacc,
Primary Languages: Basic for the few who do communicate
Government: [/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Most of Graveyard is plunged in anarchy and is lawless by nature. The few parts that have a semblance of power are the colonies controlled by Baron [member="Thraxis"] who stands in power under the aid of Justice Shipping--not that anyone is psychotic, suicidal, or deranged enough to consider challenging him for power. Thraxis rules through something of a criminal vassalship—the majority of those who reside here are his employees, or captives who have committed rather horrific atrocities.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Tribes of the Sith inbreds travel or set up camp as they please through the planet. They are savages, at best, with varied forms of government. Most are controlled in something of a warrior/shaman crossbreed of control. Lugubraa “control” most of the planet, roving as they please in a rabid horde of devourers. The only thing they will not eat—are the dead.
Population: [/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Lugubraa: est 1.5 million[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Human: 500,000[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Sith inbred: 1 million[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Gamorrean: 100,000[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Other: 500,000[/SIZE]

(The Mushroom Jungle Image source: Mushroom Forest by Victor Lam)
[SIZE=12pt]Demonym: Savages. Monsters. The politically correct term are “Gravers” though they have also been known to be called “Ghouls.”[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Major Imports[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt]: None[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Major Exports:[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] None[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt] Material: Stygium[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt] Amount: Medium[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt] Intent and Reasoning: To give the criminals in the board a way to get Stygium without harming factions or governments. While Justice Shipping does have a “control” on the planet, its far from absolute—and is only to open commerce so that those looking to have stygium raids on the planet have a way to get on the planet.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Affiliation[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt]: Justice Shipping, colonies under the rule of Baron Thraxis, [/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Major Locations:[/SIZE]

• [SIZE=12pt]Force Nexus:[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] The entire Graveyard is enveloped in a Darkside Nexus. Those who venture onto the planet have been known to experience a sense of mild paranoia, uneasiness, or general mental lethargy. In some very rare cases, those of exceptionally weak minds have been known to experience hallucinations, splits in personality, mood swings, or psychotic breakdowns. Those of a moderate will only feel the paranoia, uneasiness, or mental lethargy. The strongest of minds, or the most psychotic, are completely unaffected. Most who are taken off of Graveyard report feeling better almost immediately, for some the effects can last a few hour after leaving the world. This nexus does not affect the bodies of those who grow up or live on this planet--as can be seen by the Inbred Sith. Testing on their corpses has shown less than .001% variance from the baseline sith. Plants, animals, and sentient beings can show no physical side effects of existing on this planet for generations. However, mental issues are a completely different matter. The eons of suffering that have piled up on this planet could possibly be contained to a single area by a great work of the Jedi--however the probability of this succeeding given the on-world effects of this planet, is very slim.[/SIZE]
  [SIZE=12pt]Size:[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] Planet[/SIZE]

[*][SIZE=12pt]Intent: [/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] to give a unique flare to the planet and its use[/SIZE]

(Ruins Source: Gateway of Giants by Fabian Rensch)
[SIZE=12pt]--Ruins: Graveyard was one home to a highly advanced race known only by historians as The Titans. No one knows what happened to the Titans, however, their amazing ruin are sprawled across the planet at various locations. Some of their advanced technology still exists there for those willing to salvage it.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]--Justice Shipyard[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]--Dar'Manda Colonies: When Thraxis was established as the Baron of Graveyard, he named the colonies he was given control of "Dar'Manda" as if to symbolize his deadness to self and the galaxy around. It made even further since when considering that Graveyard is a nhillist planet of self-destruction. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]--Ship graveyard: From stray ships who accidentally happened in on the system, to those who had tried foolishly to get into the system, the planet is littered with the ships of those who had tried to make planetfall. Their old crew, however, have become reanimated dead.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]--Mushroom Jungle: The jungles that cover large swaths of this planet are composed of beautiful, idyll mushroom trees. If it wasn’t so lethal, it would be almost a tourist attraction. [/SIZE]

(Dar'manda colonies Source: Shadow Run Returns concept art)
[SIZE=12pt]Culture: [/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Most of Graveyard is cultureless. The dominant living denizens are Lugubraa. In the patches of colonies controlled by Thraxis, there is a mining, business, culture. Criminal elements run high—or at least they would be considered criminal on any other planet since the Zeltron has yet to make laws against the acts. His punishments are swift and permanent against infractions. There are almost “resort” like areas reserved for making some money off the profit of meeting the dead. While these are far from five star resorts, they are amiable and what one would expect to find on any Mid Rim apartment. Armed patrols can lead these visitors into the hell that is Graveyard—for a price. Those who venture out do so at their own risk. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]The only real unique culture are among the Sith Inbreds. These monsters are mostly raving lunatics bent on worshiping death. They commit acts of cannibalism, spirit worship, and much worse. Though no one has cared to or lived long enough to study their cultures, they revolve around killing the dead and fighting off raids from the Lugubraa or other inbred tribes. Might and war are prized above all else. The ability to kill is seen as a praise. Their darkside origins are only twisted even worse by the genetic mishaps that occur from an inbred nature. They are truly monsters who trade in chips of stygium as their currency. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Technology:[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]--The colonies: Since they are very new, they have a modern/just bellow modern tech level[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]--tribes: highly primitive. I'm talking... fire and the wheel here.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]--Ruins: Advanced technology is hidden in the ruins for those who wish to do salvage missions. It'll be hard for obvious reasons (zombies for one...) but the diligent can find it.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]History:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]A race now known as the Titans found life early on in the history of the Galaxy. The Rakata discovered these Titans they found them to be highly evolved, brilliant, and too self-aware and politically stable to be manipulated, so they left them alone. The Titans colonized their own system, they were a cold-blooded species that communicated largely through electromagnetic telepathy that appeared to enhance their connections to technology. Reasons for their extinction remain unclear to this day, as they all seemed to just suddenly cease to exist. It is believed that the creation of the nearby black hole may have had something to do with this, however, scientists are not for sure.[/SIZE]

(Source: Pintrest)
[SIZE=12pt]For thousands of years the system lay fallow, aside from the occasional criminal hiding out on the planet or the wry crash. It was not until sometime later that a spell weaver named Mordid was exiled from the Core worlds for unspeakable crimes. The Jedi and Sith alike both chanced him across the galaxy until they came to Graveyard. At the Well of Souls an epic battle ensued and Mordrid was sent to the surface in a ball of fire. Many ships crashed on the surface with him, their generations would later become the Inbred Sith. Confident he had died, the Jedi and Sith both left.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]But Mordid refused to be defeated so easily. He perfected the art of Tsaiwinokka Hoyakut and animating the dead. His twisted works still walk and affect the planet today, perpetuating the cycle of unlife. Twisting the Jedi who had survived the crashes and drawing the Sith to him, Mordid united them as his servants. Together they created a planet-wide nexus to strengthen them. Enslaving the other survivors, they began building over several decades to strike out again and take the galaxy by the ears. A powerful Danothmir witch felt these tremors through the Force, and learned that Mordid was growing in strength. The Witch ventured into Graveyard, found Mordid, and an epicl battle ensued. Mordrid was defeated at last, but his soul's destruction killed the young witch and forever tainted the planet's nexus with the darkside. His psychotic followers buried the evil one's body in a tomb now lost to time and made a single, futile attempt to strike out once more. When they were squashed, the powers that be during the time agreed that it would be best to forget Graveyard existed, and all records were expunged of its existence.[/SIZE]

(Caverns where some believe Mordrid's remains were hidden. However, none have ventured in deep enough and returned sane enough to know truthfully. Source: Tumblr "The Art of Animation")
[SIZE=12pt]It was not until the days of Palpatine that the planet once more was slightly important. Being the twisted man that he was, Sideous sent emissaries to examine the planet and find its value. He had a few outposts set up run by both humans and HRD units in conjunction to find how to best use the power of the dead on this planet, the Force Nexus[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt], and keep any from opening or finding what he could from Mordrid's work. Little was progress was made, and what little that was found was confounded on every turn by the dead and the local savages. Stygium was discovered and mined partially, but the dangers of both the dead and the living cannibals were too severe for any real progress or operations to be made.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Sideous soon found that it was pretty pointless to keep throwing lives into this cesspool with only rotting carcasses and mad fools as a result--especially when it was easier to mine eles where, so he slowly began to roll back support from the Graveyard. By the time of the Battle of Endor, they were all gone or abandoned. Only a few HRDs remained. The planet was all but abandoned to the inbreds and the dead.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]The planet remained very quiet for quite some time, at least on a galactic scale. Of course, being not too far from a black hole, the planet would undergo a doomsday event ever few hundred years, most everyone would be wiped out, more zombies would be created, and the pockets of those who survived would manage to continue on. This continual cycle of death has helped to cause the Sith Inbreds to be quite far from having any hope of advancing past fire and the wheel technology-wise. This planet, as a result, was largely unaffected by the Gulag Plague and the Netherworld events. Having been through its own apocalypse three times over, there was not much left to take from this system. [/SIZE]

[SIZE=12pt]Graveyard remained a legend among spacers. Some called it an old wive’s tale, but James knew that there was a truth behind every myth. He began searching, hoping to find a new way to speak with his lost wife. Amid his searching he found remaining shards of references in old documents from Sideous’ era. The spacer knew that there was really only one way to find out. So he gathered some of his most trusted (and feared) assocates [member="Lady Kay"], [member="Thraxis"], and [member="Stardust Raxis"] and ‘accidentally’ rediscovered the planet. The rest, as they say, is history… [/SIZE]

(Source: Art.marcsimonetti.com)
[SIZE=12pt]Notable PCs:[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] [member="Thraxis"] [/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Intent: To give Justice Shipping a 200+ post project for their Teir 5 while giving the criminals a place to mine for stygium and all a unique theater to write stories on. [/SIZE]
OOC: [member="Lady Kay"], [member="Thraxis"], [member="Denn Ralto"], [member="Celiana"], [member="Dominik Borra"] and [member="Stardust Raxis"] all deserve a strong thank you and a large deal of credit for their efforts in making this dream a reality. I could never have done any of this without your help and amazing patience. This truly is dedicated to your fine story telling and hard work.

 

[Quietus]

Ok. So. There's a lot going on here, and there are several major things that we need to take care of before this can go to one of my Judges.

[SIZE=12pt]Major Locations:[/SIZE]

• [SIZE=12pt]Force Nexus:[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] The Well of Souls: This is both a location where the planet-wide nexus appears to be strongest (like a Center Point), and the term used by professionals for the phenomena.The Well of Souls is a connection point to the Netherworld.On Graveyard, the barrier between living and dead is very thin.As a result, ghosts of the dead walk the planet at will and the undead are unbelievably common.[/SIZE]
  [SIZE=12pt]Size:[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] Planet[/SIZE]

[*][SIZE=12pt]Intent: [/SIZE][SIZE=12pt]threefold: to give a great opportunity for writers to be able to make unique stories involving (literally) ghost from their pasts, a location for Force Users to learn from dead masters of their alignment words of wisdom or powers, and for those who wish to resurrect their characters from the dead a planet such as from “transfer essence” a planet to do so on.[/SIZE]
[*][SIZE=12pt]OOC RULES:[/SIZE]

1. [SIZE=12pt]No using ghosts from another writer/character’s past WITHOUT their expressed permission.[/SIZE]
2. [SIZE=12pt]Rules for cannon characters apply here as much as anywhere else.[/SIZE]
3. [SIZE=12pt]Use of Force Masters must be judicious. Do not do a throw away post about how some ghost on graveyard gave you (fill in the blank) Starkiller power.[/SIZE]

There's no way for me to sugar coat this. The answer is no.

Firstly, the only locations that are a direct connection to Netherworld are the ones left over from the main Plotline and created/approved by Staff. Remove this.

Secondly, the intent here serves no purpose. Members of the forum are already capable of entering Netherworld and interacting with Ghosts from their past. This does not add the unique quality you think it does.

Thirdly, Staff will not be enforcing any unofficial rules placed within Codex or Factory submissions. The fact that you feel the need to put them there already makes it questionable.

Lastly, just because you've done the dev doesn't mean you get a free pass on outlandish things. If you want to keep the Nexus it will need major paring down so that it falls in line with canon Nexus precedents. As in - get rid of the ghosts, get rid of the Netherworld connection. I would suggest making it a Darkside Nexus that promotes feelings of paranoia and uneasiness, I would even be willing to let you get away with it creating hallucinations in the weaker-minded individuals. However you will need to come up with a good backstory and reason for there to be a planet-wide darkside Nexus.

Next topic:

Mordid was so feared that the Jedi and Sith worked together to create a series of black holes to entrap him.

What is your canon reference for Jedi and Sith creating permanent black holes? Please link me.

[SIZE=12pt]System Features:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]--3 Black Holes: Lore states that these were created to help contain an evil spellweaver named Mordred of both unspeakable power and evil. However, what is known for sure is these make entering the system almost impossible.And lethal.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]--Dynamo effect: The system has a strange effect.These stars, as all others, go through the "dynamo effect" which emit solar flares. However, once every 500 days, these stars have a solar flare at the same time. While normally these are harmless to organics, droids and computers that are not incredibly hearty and built to withstand it, will be fired instantly beyond repair.[/SIZE]

I am uncertain why you felt the need to add these features in here other than the fact that they are cool, as both of them render the rest of your submission fairly improbable.

If it is next to impossible and lethal to even enter the system then the following would need to take this into consideration:

Immigrated Species: Lugubraa (Most of the population), human/near-human, Sith inbreds, Gamorean, Rancor, Scarlaacc,

Population:
[SIZE=12pt]Lugubraa: est 1.5 million[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Human: 500,000[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Sith inbred: 1 million[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Gamorean: 100,000[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Other: 500,000[/SIZE]

If it's impossible and lethal to get there, how did they?

[SIZE=12pt]Major Imports[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt]: Food, technology[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt]Major Exports:[/SIZE][SIZE=12pt] Stygium, tourism[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt] Material: Stygium[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt] Amount: Large[/SIZE]
[SIZE=12pt] Intent and Reasoning: To give the criminals in the board a way to get Stygium without harming factions or governments. While Justice Shipping does have a “control” on the planet, its far from absolute—and is only to open commerce so that threads may happen for those who would like them to happen.[/SIZE]

If it's impossible and lethal to get there, how did you establish major trade for importation and exportation of these things?

Not to mention the major solar flares would wreak havoc on communications and tech, which also lends trade to being exceedingly difficult.

By all accounts, "nearly impossible and lethal to enter the system" would render a planet/system extremely isolated to the point of not even being a viable place to settle or colonize. I highly suggest getting rid of these system features and adjusting your planet history in some other way. If you insist on keeping them, I would then require that we remove imports/exports as well as a vast majority of the planet's population to account for these things.


As well, you mention "the dead" several times throughout the submission as being a point of conflict yet you never really explain why the dead walk the planet. What are your references for this? Where are you drawing this idea from canon? Provide links.



I could continue, but these things will already greatly change your submission.

[member="James Justice"]

 

[James Justice]

Sadow later decimated Galactic Republic pursuers by wrenching free the cores of the binary Denarii suns, causing them to go nova and annihilating the entire star system.[38]

Pulled from this article about Sith Sorcery. The Kessel sector was located in near the Maw and while it also made navigation challenging (and almost impossible as well) kessel was far from uninhabited

The reasoning behind the almost impossible nature of entering the system with the dynamo affect and the black holes is to give a plausible reason as to why a planet full of stygium was lost for the time between Palpatine and the current date in SWRP Chaos' timeline and no one cared to find it until now.

you mention "the dead" several times throughout the submission as being a point of conflict yet you never really explain why the dead walk the planet. What are your references for this? Where are you drawing this idea from canon? Provide links.

I linked two sources in the sub itself from wookiepedia for undead. Here are further sources if you require them:

Sith Undead
Korriban Zombie
Blackwing virus

Imports and Exports edited, the connection to the Netherworld was removed.

[member="Silencia"]

 

[Quietus]

I see.

The likelihood of a system surviving three permanent black holes is next to nill. A single black hole is enough to devour an entire system, and sometimes nearby others depending on the size. Its presence in a system would be enough to make travel to and through it exceedingly difficult.

Cut it down to 1 black hole.

You have not put down a coordinate for this planet's location. Please do so.

Coordinates:

You are also missing the DIAMETER section from your template (below CLASS). While it does not require a defined measurement, it is still required to be on the submission template regardless. If you do not wish to define the size of the planet, simply mark it "N/A"

Diameter: <NOT REQUIRED: Diameter at the equator. For reference, Earth is 12,756 km in diameter>

Fix these things and I will turn this over to my Judges.

[member="James Justice"]

 

[James Justice]

[member="Silencia"]

Alrighty then, I believe that should do it

 

[Quietus]

[member="James Justice"]

Very good.

[member="Rekali the Hutt"] will be attending to this submission.

 

[Rekali the Hutt]

[member="James Justice"]

Dropping in to say hi. I'm currently giving your dev threads a thorough reading, but before I finish there are a few basic things that will need to be addressed.

-Can I get links to all non-human species?
-Is it Mordred or Mordid?
-"Sith Inbreds" Are they a new species? If so they'll need to be go through the Codex.

 

[James Justice]

[member="Rekali the Hutt"]

Links coming up for ya.

I based the Sith Inbreds idea loosely off the Children of the Tempest from the Galaxy of Intrigue rp book.

And the writer who put the idea forward liked "Mordid" so I am sticking with their original spelling.

 

[Rekali the Hutt]

[member="James Justice"]

While you're linking I'll also need links for every image. I know you're crediting the creators, but I need sources as well.

I based the Sith Inbreds idea loosely off the Children of the Tempest from the Galaxy of Intrigue rp book.

This doesn't answer my question. If they are a primitive culture of a canon species I need them linked(or clearly referred to as human). If they are not they need a codex sub.

And the writer who put the idea forward liked "Mordid" so I am sticking with their original spelling.

Both are used in the submission, so I was wondering if it was one or the other.

Suns: 1 Red Giant known as Anathema ; 1 Blue dwarf known as Hope in concentric orbits. Orbital Position: 3rd planet, habitable zone
Moons:
System Features: --1 Black Hole: Lore states that these were created to help contain an evil spellweaver named Mordred of both unspeakable power and evil.However, what is known for sure is these make entering the system almost impossible.And lethal.

A number of things here.
1: I'll need the "Moons" category filled in. If there aren't any just put "none" or something similar, but either way.
2: The only evidence we have of Black Holes being artificially created are by Celestial Technology, or technically by Naga Sadow using Supernova with the assistance of a Sith Meditation Sphere to Supernova a star. Neither is an option for the backstory of this world, and no non-canon NPC of the past is strong enough to warrant such action. Furthermore I don't see how making a black hole would contain a Force User in the first place. You can just hyperspace around it, unless you're locked on world in which case why aren't you just nuking them anyways?
3: Black Holes have a tendency to get bigger as they bring in more mass. It's not exactly a fast process, but it'd be notable over the millennia, and would be a huge problem for the populace with shifting tides and such. How does the populace cope?
4: I assume the concentric orbit of the stars is around the Black Hole? How does this interact with the orbit of the planet? Does it orbit around the black hole too? How do those orbits interact with each other? If the planet got too close or far away from either/both of the suns the planet would roast/freeze the populace. Frankly I don't see a way you could avoid a planetary apocalypse every few hundred years.

--Dynamo effect: The system has a strange effect.These stars, as all others, go through the "dynamo effect" which emit solar flares. However, once every 500 days, these stars have a solar flare at the same time. While normally these are harmless to organics, droids and computers that are not incredibly hearty and built to withstand it, will be fired instantly beyond repair.

I assume this is referring Anathema and Hope? Is there any OOC reason this is necessary? Is there any particular scientific reason they do this every 500 days? Solar flares don't typically interfere with equipment on world, why does this instance of double flares fry things?

Climate: Varried; mostly temperate with appropriate frigid, arid, and humid zones for biodomes
Gravity: 1.2 times standard Primary Terrain:
Mountains, canyons, jungle, forests, tundra, grasslands, savannas, ruins

Most planets with multiple suns have serious heat issues, why does this have frigid areas? 1.2x standard is pretty significant, like creatures not growing as large and things being very difficult to move significant. It's on the boundary of things I'm okay with, but I'll need mention of how this affects the populace.

Major Exports: None Material: Stygium Amount: Large Intent and Reasoning: To give the criminals in the board a way to get Stygium without harming factions or governments. While Justice Shipping does have a “control” on the planet, its far from absolute—and is only to open commerce so that threads may happen for those who would like them to happen.

So to put a restricted material on a planet you still have to go through the dev thread requirements. I might have missed it going through your 170 post behemoth, but can I get a link to the post where you kill a character with 500+ posts?

Major Locations:
Force Nexus: The entire Graveyard is enveloped in a Darkside Nexus.Those who venture onto the planet are known to experience Paranoia, and in extreme cases, hallucinations and schizophrenia.Only the strongest of minds, or the most psychotic, are unaffected.
Size: Planet

Canon examples of planetary Force Nexus's include:
Nam Chorios - Filled with Tsils
Vjun - Home to multiple Midi-Chlorian Experiments
Byss - Home to many of Palpatine's experiments, as well as his clones
Ruusan - Home to several battles involving multiple jedi and Sith.

I'm not putting Mordid on any of those pedestals. This is an example of a tomb with a decidedly minor force nexus that entailed around 40 posts. You obviously have quite a bit more development, so we can do this one of two ways.

1: You keep it planetary in scale, but the effects are significantly lessened.
2: You keep the power of the Nexus but the size is reduced to a single large area.

Technology: The colonies have a modern tech level, the tribes are highly primitive.Advanced technology is hidden in the ruins for those who wish to do salvage missions.

How do they have modern tech if "most of the populace is cultureless or criminal"? The advanced tech I understand(Though I'd like a mention that it's rare and difficult to find), but I don't see how this culture of savages and criminals has largely modern technology.

A race now known as the Titans found life early on in the history of the Galaxy. The Rakata discovered these Titans they found them to be highly evolved, brilliant, and almost unable to be manipulated, so they left them alone.The Titans colonized their own system, they were a cold-blooded species that communicated largely through electromagnetic telepathy that appeared to enhance their connections to technology.However, what made them so advanced, would be the undoing of the Titans.The Rakata feared the Titans would one day be a danger to them—so they hit their sun with a super weapon.The resulting cataclysm annihilated the Titans.All of them died as their brains were fried.Life in the system ceased to exist and the number of planets within the system went down from 12 to 10.

Celestial and Rakata Tech is banned, so I'll need any reference to a civilization that could challenge them removed. A ancient dead civilization with cool tech is fine, but challenging the Rakata will not fly.

Mordid was so feared that the Jedi and Sith worked together to create a black hole to entrap him.A series of ships, both Jedi and Sith were lost in the process.These would later become the inbred Sith tribes after generations of inbreeding.Seven of the ten system’s remaining planets were destroyed along with all native life that was evolving in the outer planets during the tumultuous event.

Anyone powerful enough to use Supernova Sith Magic is powerful enough to just straight kill anyone not named Palpatine, Valkorian, or Abeloth, so I'm not certain why he'd fear that specific and obscure use of Sith Magic(an already obscure tradition limited to 3% of Dark Side). He could simply navigate a ship somewhere else, as an untrained Kyp Durron navigated the Maw safely with far more black holes than is feasible for any Sith Magic to make in a hostile environment(especially without making them fall into each other and merge). Lastly even if the Jedi an Sith were so threatened to join forces I can't see the Jedi of any pre-Gulag era condoning destruction so large as destroying three planets.

A Danothmir witch found out that Mordid was not yet defeated and grew in strength over the passing decades.The Witch ventured into Graveyard, found Mordid, and entrapped his soul in the Gates of Oblivion. It is alleged that this is where his soul still resides, sending out harrowing calls across the Force, drawing in more.He hopes to one day be freed and wreak havoc once more—though he would be but a shadow of his former power.All the powers at the time agreed that it would be best to forget Graveyard existed, and all records were expunged of its existence.

What exactly is the "Gates of Oblivion"? If it's the Netherworld the only being strong enough to mess with the real world from the Netherworld is Akala, a staff-only operated Event Boss, and the Codex is not currently allowing additional portals to the Netherworld. If it isn't the Netherworld I'll require an explanation and possibly a submission. Lastly, why didn't Palpatine loot all of the Advanced Tech? He had the resources and power to make several planet killing machines and Sith Alchemists, arguably more so than any modern major faction, what stopped him from reaping the benefits?

It was not until the days of Palpatine that the planet once more was slightly important.Being the twisted man that he was, Sideous sent emissaries to examine the planet and find its value. He had a few outposts set up run by both humans and HRD units in conjunction to find how to best use the power of the Well of Souls, the ghosts on them, and keep any from opening or finding where this Gate of Oblivion is.Little was progress was made, though they did find that it was rather easy to contact any ghosts, if someone was willing to brave the risks to do so.Stygium was discovered and mined partially, but the danger was too severe for any real progress or operations to be made.

Ghosts? The Well of Souls? What? I'll need a lot of explanations here, I was under the impression that the undead on Graveyard were zombies, and I have no other mention of the "Well of Souls" in the sub other than here.

 

[James Justice]

This doesn't answer my question. If they are a primitive culture of a canon species I need them linked(or clearly referred to as human). If they are not they need a codex sub.

Appologies, I thought it would. I just linked Red Sith since this is essentially who and what they would be. There would really be no effects except being uglier, possibly, or more depraved, I suppose.

Sorry bout the "Mordrid/Mordred" thing, that should take care of it. I thought I had gotten all of them.

A number of things here. 1: I'll need the "Moons" category filled in. If there aren't any just put "none" or something similar, but either way. 2: The only evidence we have of Black Holes being artificially created are by Celestial Technology, or technically by Naga Sadow using Supernova with the assistance of a Sith Meditation Sphere to Supernova a star. Neither is an option for the backstory of this world, and no non-canon NPC of the past is strong enough to warrant such action. Furthermore I don't see how making a black hole would contain a Force User in the first place. You can just hyperspace around it, unless you're locked on world in which case why aren't you just nuking them anyways? 3: Black Holes have a tendency to get bigger as they bring in more mass. It's not exactly a fast process, but it'd be notable over the millennia, and would be a huge problem for the populace with shifting tides and such. How does the populace cope? 4: I assume the concentric orbit of the stars is around the Black Hole? How does this interact with the orbit of the planet? Does it orbit around the black hole too? How do those orbits interact with each other? If the planet got too close or far away from either/both of the suns the planet would roast/freeze the populace. Frankly I don't see a way you could avoid a planetary apocalypse every few hundred years.

1. Taken care of.
2. This wasn't my story, another writer contributing to this planet. I've tried to stick as close to their contributions out of respect for their creative efforts. The only point of the black hole was, (again) to just give a real viable reason as to why a planet full of stygium has been lost to time.
3. Taken care of, added a line or two about perpetual re-destruction.
4. The stars orbit around each other.

I assume this is referring Anathema and Hope? Is there any OOC reason this is necessary? Is there any particular scientific reason they do this every 500 days? Solar flares don't typically interfere with equipment on world, why does this instance of double flares fry things?

OOC: Reasoning as to why one could not just "Jump around" said black hole. If electronic interference by said stars could keep one's ships from working... it'd make a perfect prison with the gravity pull of the black hole. Again--all in the point as to why a star system with stygium would be lost forever. But since you requested it, here is further scientific backing:
M-star Magnetic effect--M Size stars are giants. They are huge (the size that Anathema would be since it is a giant). As such, magnetic fields and such are stronger but slower. the 500 days is the time it takes for Anthema and Hope to line up with the timing of their solar flares.
dynamo Effects-- This short article is about them. Yes, F-size stars are huge, but the principles are the same.
NASA on Solar Flares-- our sun has a dyanmo and magnetic effect for solar flares every 11 years and it is a young, healthy yellow star. Imagine this effect with a blue dwarf and a red giant. Old stars.

1: You keep it planetary in scale, but the effects are significantly lessened. 2: You keep the power of the Nexus but the size is reduced to a single large area.

Effects lessened.

So to put a restricted material on a planet you still have to go through the dev thread requirements. I might have missed it going through your 170 post behemoth, but can I get a link to the post where you kill a character with 500+ posts?

For the life of me... I can't find this in the planet creation rules. I find where it says we need a lot of posts (100) but I can't find where it says that in any current rules--or anything about killing anyone for that matter.

Celestial and Rakata Tech is banned, so I'll need any reference to a civilization that could challenge them removed. A ancient dead civilization with cool tech is fine, but challenging the Rakata will not fly.

Changed the wording where they feared they might could one day in the future hurt them.

How do they have modern tech if "most of the populace is cultureless or criminal"? The advanced tech I understand(Though I'd like a mention that it's rare and difficult to find), but I don't see how this culture of savages and criminals has largely modern technology.

Appologies for poor wording and any confusing resulting from it. I changed it to a table-like format. The colonies are new, very new. And because of that they have modern tech, the locals, however, are still at the stone age.

Anyone powerful enough to use Supernova Sith Magic is powerful enough to just straight kill anyone not named Palpatine, Valkorian, or Abeloth, so I'm not certain why he'd fear that specific and obscure use of Sith Magic(an already obscure tradition limited to 3% of Dark Side).

That is why they came together, grouping together they were able to amplify their powers.

What exactly is the "Gates of Oblivion"?

Taken care of, added a link for a mind trap.

Lastly, why didn't Palpatine loot all of the Advanced Tech? He had the resources and power to make several planet killing machines and Sith Alchemists, arguably more so than any modern major faction, what stopped him from reaping the benefits?

He was too busy making doomsday devices? He didn't know they were there, he was looking to exploit the force nexus and keep Mordrid from seeing the light of day. Again, as said in the sub, it wasn't wielding results so he quit the operation.

[member="Rekali the Hutt"]

 

[Rekali the Hutt]

[member="James Justice"]

2. This wasn't my story, another writer contributing to this planet.I've tried to stick as close to their contributions out of respect for their creative efforts.The only point of the black hole was, (again) to just give a real viable reason as to why a planet full of stygium has been lost to time.

I am double checking myself here, so I'll get back on this later, but I was under the impression you had to meet the restricted material requirements + post requirements in order to add a restricted material. Regardless, this is your submission and ultimately you are responsible for providing the necessary edits/development, despite whoever else is engaging with personal plotlines on the planet. Ultimately if we keep stygium that's a significant Development toll. I can't think of any planet that's been passed with a large material, and the only planet I recall that's been passed with a material other than phrik or cortosis had 100 posts development for semi-unique beskar. If the Stygium stays than the planetary nexus is a straight no-go. I did find a precedent for a planetary nexus, and it had 450 posts of development. Something's going to have to give.

4. The stars orbit around each other.

Can I get further explanation on this, and why they don't get sucked into an orbit around the black hole's vastly superior gravitational field?

OOC: Reasoning as to why one could not just "Jump around" said black hole.If electronic interference by said stars could keep one's ships from working... it'd make a perfect prison with the gravity pull of the black hole. Again--all in the point as to why a star system with stygium would be lost forever.But since you requested it, here is further scientific backing: M-star Magnetic effect--M Size stars are giants. They are huge (the size that Anathema would be since it is a giant).As such, magnetic fields and such are stronger but slower. the 500 days is the time it takes for Anthema and Hope to line up with the timing of their solar flares. dynamo Effects-- This short article is about them. Yes, F-size stars are huge, but the principles are the same. NASA on Solar Flares-- our sun has a dyanmo and magnetic effect for solar flares every 11 years and it is a young, healthy yellow star. Imagine this effect with a blue dwarf and a red giant.Old stars.

Again, Kyp Durron and Han Solo took the Millenium Falcon into the Maw, piloted through dozens of black holes as an untrained Force User, and got in and out without a problem. The limitations of NASA and our own current science do not apply in Star Wars submissions when we have direct Canon to contradict them. This is not a suitable explanation why a black hole would be created in this system, and I'll need the reasoning for the black hole strengthened or removed entirely, and if it is removed I'll need differing explanations of why the planet wasn't previously mined out.

Changed the wording where they feared they might could one day in the future hurt them.

Celestial and Rakata Tech is banned, so I'll need any reference to a civilization that could challenge them removed. A ancient dead civilization with cool tech is fine, but challenging the Rakata will not fly.

This does not satisfy this requirement.

That is why they came together, grouping together they were able to amplify their powers.

Again, if anyone(individually or collectively) is strong enough to use a Supernova which has only been used by what is arguably one of the top 5 Force Users in canon who only did it with the assistance of a powerful sith artifact and in deep meditation they are a threat to simply murder him, which is far more economical and ethical(at least from a Jedi standpoint. I'll need the reasoning changed here.

Taken care of, added a link for a mind trap.

Banned Items


i. Banned Items are not permitted to be used in canon role-play threads on Star Wars RP: Chaos without the explicit permission of the SWRP Staff Team.
ii. Banned Items are not permitted to be used in submissions within the Factory without the explicit permission of the SWRP Staff Team.
iii. Banned Items are only permitted to be used in Non-Canon role-play threads or Non-Canon Campaign threads.


R
Rakata Technology

I'll need the Mind Trap removed.

He didn't know they were there, he was looking to exploit the force nexus and keep Mordrid from seeing the light of day.Again, as said in the sub, it wasn't wielding results so he quit the operation.

Again, an NPC created for the background of a planet is not going to be on the scale of Palpatine, the big bad of the Star Wars EU. If Palpatine were going to "keep him from seeing the light of day" he'd be dead/dissolved/otherwise destroyed. I'm fine with a Sith Spirit still being on the planet(and I think Mordid could really benefit from an NPC submission), but I cannot allow him to be event-boss level in strength.

EDIT:

After consulting with our Codex staff I was mistaken, and the planet does not need to meet the objectives. However, it will come at a cost, as mentioned earlier. We can work out the degrees of this or that, but we're working with a slider with Force Nexus and Stygium on opposite sides.

 

[James Justice]

Ultimately if we keep stygium that's a significant Development toll. I can't think of any planet that's been passed with a large material, and the only planet I recall that's been passed with a material other than phrik or cortosis had 100 posts development for semi-unique beskar. If the Stygium stays than the planetary nexus is a straight no-go. I did find a precedent for a planetary nexus, and it had 450 posts of development. Something's going to have to give.

Forgive me if I appear to be reading the rules incorrectly, but under the "Large" status for restricte materials appears to say:

Large: Requires a dev thread of 50 posts or more (at Judge’s discretion) and is for production of unique, semi-unique, limited, or minor produced items.

The very reason I chose stygium for this planet's resource is because there are so few locations to mine stygium--compared to the Phrik and Cortosis.

And forgive me if I misread the rules again, but it also says under nexuses:

Planet - A dev thread and discovery thread (can be the same thread) of at least 100 posts will be required to find this force empowered world

Both pulled from here.

We have two threads for development, totaling 224 posts, I am not a good at math at all, but I am pretty sure that leaves 74 posts over what the rules state with these two things, which is as it stands, a substantial amount over the requirement.

Mindtrap and all references to the Rakata were removed except "they left the Titans alone". Reasoning for Titan extinction has been changed to "unknown." Cause for the black hole was changed to "unknown."

[member="Rekali the Hutt"]

 

[Rekali the Hutt]

[member="James Justice"]

A judge in the factory or codex is always within their rights to require additional dev if they feel the submission is powerful in scale, the posted standards are a guideline of the minimum requirements. The aforementioned case where a 100 post dev thread resulted in a semi-unique beskar producing planet is an example of a powerful submission requiring more dev than usual, because it's potential to have long-lasting impacts on the board. I'd argue that as the planet became a capital a new Mandalorian Major Faction the potential for that submission to influence the board as a whole has been realized, and I believe that this submission has equal if not more potential to influence the board as a whole.

Stygium has farther reaching implications than Cortosis or Phrik, with several instances of major factions conducting races of speed dominions to reach them. In one particular instance in the early board days such a race impacted the community in such a way that the structure and ruling of how dominions were allowed to occur was changed. 90% of this board has access to cortosis, phrik, or Sith Alchemy in one way or the other, but not nearly as many have access to stygium. Putting in more stygium sources changes the restricted material "economy", which means in my eyes it is subject to much higher scrutiny, and thus development.

Nexus's in Canon operate in a few different ways. Some are a sort of 'battery' for the Force User, some give Force Sensitives in the environment visions, some very powerful nexuses corrupt creatures inside it. The proposed nexus is most like the third, able to incite paranoia in apparently all but the strongest minds, not to mention hallucinations in the weak minded. Therefore this Nexus has much larger implications than most in canon, as they usually only effect Force Users in any major way, but this literally changes the way everyone on the planet thinks. Except the strongest of minds, which usually means trained Force Users(a fraction of a percent of the galactic population) or the most psychotic of minds(again a fraction of a percent of the population).

The stronger the nexus the less stygium, and vice versa. In any case I will need more clarification on the exact limitations and properties of the nexus. How it affects growth, if it grows with more exposure, if it leaves a lasting imprint on the inhabitants, etc.


The rest of your edits are all good.

 

[James Justice]

90% of this board has access to cortosis, phrik, or Sith Alchemy in one way or the other, but not nearly as many have access to stygium.

Yes, I know, and I think its a travesty. I mean, granted, most people use Cortosis and Phrik way more, but I want more people to have access to this at a more equal level while providing them an area to do so in a fun nature. I reduced it from large to medium and made it very clear in this would never be able to be controlled by a major faction--it will not even be controlled by my minor faction/company either.

Made clarifications on the Nexus: No affect on biology, most normal people just feel "mild paranioa, mental unease, mental malaise" and only the extreme cases have psychotic breakdowns and hallucinations. Given that its a planet full of zombies and cannibals, maybe a little paranoia ain't that bad.....? Permanent effects are zero.

[member="Rekali the Hutt"]

 

[Rekali the Hutt]

[member="James Justice"]

The stygium and nexus edits are exactly what I'm looking for, and a good balance, but every planet is up grabs on the dominion game. I'll beed that part edited out. Other than that I just need links for the image sources and that electronics frying issue clarified/removed and we should be good to go.

 

[James Justice]

[member="Rekali the Hutt"] Alright, all done.

 

[Rekali the Hutt]

[member="James Justice"]

Apologies for the lateness, I got caught up in the Election Hype, then the Election Hangover. You're good to go as far as I see. Excellent work, I hope you enjoy it


[member="Silencia"]

 

[Quietus]

Good work to both of you. Thank you for working with myself and my Judge.

Approved.