Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Private Going nowhere

The cold bulkhead felt good against the elephantine head of the Cragmoloid, or at least felt real. For a once proud warrior who simply floated about the blackness of space reality was something he was in sore need of. How quickly life had been flipped again he thought as he opened his eyes to his dismal surroundings. A simple short hallway out of the cockpit, the smooth metal scarred by his tusks. How quickly things had changed from purpose to just darkness. It was his own fault really, his own pride had brought him down again. He'd wanted to win, he had needed to win. He couldis s claim it was a warrior's honor but letting rage and darkness take your soul was hardily something he could claim was honor. No he'd even tarnished that, and that had brought him here, nowhere.

Moving his leg as a cramp began to take hold he brushed it against the remains of one of his pilot droids. Always asking where to like he had a damn plan or reason. It was stupid but the nonstop questions had just made him so angry and so his two pilots were now one. The remaining asked nothing now, ever. In fact he was pretty sure they just traveled in random patterns now until Grundark said it was time to restock and refuel. Better to save it's own metal hide and keep quiet. Poor damn droids.

Closing his eyes the scarred warrior felt the pointlessness of it all eating at his soul. He'd let so much darkness in, and the time for the bill had come. He'd considered going back to slaving and just bathing into the rage. He'd escaped it once before by outlasting it that way, why not again? He could feel the darkness within lust for the violence and perhaps was the only reason he simply sat there instead. At least he wasn't giving into it this time, not that he could call this a victory. No, there was no victory here, and no hope either. He was floating in space in a rust bucket that would one day fail and eventually he with it.

He refused to open his eyes to see the scratches and dents in the walls. Sometimes he wondered if he was hoping he'd simply strike through the hull and end it all sooner. He was still sure though any day it would all give in and end. His eyes lied to him however, or perhaps his spirit did. He floated in a newer model ship he'd taken with him from Felucia and it would hold for many, many years before it even thought about giving out. His thoughts blinded by the darkness he'd welcomed into his soul, and barely able to fight off the rage that seemed to always be bubbling up. At times he could barely remember the proud warrior he'd once been.

Arcturus Dinn Arcturus Dinn
 
Space.
The final frontier.
Wait, no, that was the Netherworld. And yet, as his ship approached the other it was as though those two planes merged as one. Even through one hull, the void of space, and another hull, he could sense the misery and darkness emanating from within, sense the outright despair and hollowness of the one he'd been tracking.
How long had it been?
For Arcturus, not that long. But for the greater Galaxy? Years had passed since the downfall of the Eternal. Maybe time had stood still for him too. Maybe the once proud Grundark had also found himself in something of a timeloop.
Having traced the progress of his ship for a little while now, it certainly seemed as though he'd found himself in some loop.
Some loop indeed.
Coming out of hyperspace, he flagged down the vessel. No answer. Flagged it down again. An automated response.
With a huff, Arcturus flagged it down a third time. Demanded to whatever droid or AI was in control of the ship that they permit him to board. Maybe whoever it was had given up fighting. Maybe whoever was in control of the ship in that moment figured better Arcturus than whatever fresh hell they were living through.
Maybe it was none of that, and his request had simply been granted.
Either way, soon enough Leviathan was coming in to rest alongside the larger vessel, and Arcturus was alighting through the umbilical-esque tunnel which connected them. A pause on the other end. Then the door opened.
"Grundark?"
Evidence of rage was palpable here and there in the form of marks in the durasteel plating. If he'd had any doubt as to whose ship he'd landed himself on prior, the sight of those tusk-induced gashes had them quickly fading.
"It's me... Arc..."
He slowed his pace rather quickly; what if the Cragmoloid was still enraged? The boy did not wish to be gutted this early on in his life.
 
He heard something in the distance as a ship docked with his own. His rage wanted him to draw his weapon. Kill the droid for allowing someone to dock, and kill this new intruder to his solitude. He thought about investigating it, after all there weren't many friendly groups who just randomly docked with a ship, but he did neither. Instead he just sat there numbly his eyes just opening to see who had decided to make themselves an unwelcomed guest.

With trepidation the new creature slowed at the entry to the hall, even called his name. That wasn't possible though the whispers told him, no one knew him anymore. Yet there was something about the man that looked familiar something that called back to a time not so long ago, years by the accounts of men, but a moment in the life of one of his clan. Still there was something about the boy.

Arc? It sounded familiar, it seemed familiar, but he couldn't place it. Couldn't bring up the memory amongst the haze of darkness and whispers. Besides who would visit him here? Who knew he was here? His mind went to more sinister possibilities then as he gazed on the little man before him. Was this some unknown enemy here to attack him at his weakest? Did he care if he did?

Still slowly through the haze of a couple of minutes something leaked through the picture of a boy saving children. Yes, Arcturus. A horrible Sith and a good man. Better then he was at least. Closing his eyes as realized the threat had passed he just wanted the boy to go. No need to see him like this. "Go. There is no Grundark here, only a shadow."

Arcturus Dinn Arcturus Dinn
 
There was nothing, for a few minutes actually; no sound came from the cragmoloid, though Arcturus could see him plain as day where he sat. He knew that look, the look of a man beaten and broke and pressed on all angles, at the lowest point in his life. He'd seen that look in his own reflection many times on his spiral down the Corellian Run, though he'd done his best to avoid it. Most all of what he remembered from that time took the form of reflections.
A hollow face staring back.
Arcturus knew better than to push him. Knew better than to rouse an angered beast. So instead he sank down to the floor and simply sat there. Sat and watched and waited for something, anything to be said, to be done. For a time it seemed like a pointless endeavor. Grundark would not speak with him; perhaps he did not even realize he was there at all.
Lorrdian sense of body language told him otherwise of course. He knew, he just didn't know what to do.
And then he spoke, even in whispered state it was as a bellow, and every muscle in his body primed him to do as he had been bid, to leave.
Instead, Arcturus shuffled the tiniest bit closer.
"I reckon I know a thing or two about Shadows," he retorted, his own voice barely audible in comparison to the others. "I'm not going to leave you here like this, Grundark. And I'm not going to deny you your name. But if you'd like me to be silent in my remaining, then I can do that too."
 
Rage coiled at the surface as Arc refused him, a pointless rage that seemed to slash out at any perceived slight. The memory of a good boy gave him the will to resist this time though. If he'd played at it long enough though he'd lose the fight too. Everyone lost the fight to that wild corruption eventually if they dabbled too long.

"Still playing Sith, boy? Best be careful or one day you'll stop playing at it, and they'll be as little left of your soul as the rest of them." Sniffing the air slightly he couldn't get a good feel off Arcturus Dinn Arcturus Dinn his own darkness simply smothered him. "Or worse yet again, like me. Sitting at the edge of the chasm looking down and unable to do anything but hold on."

Like an open wound long infected darkness and angry rolled out of Grundark like a foul taint. It drowned everything out for him, including how he saw the boy before him. So he clung to the one thing he could, the image of a fool boy trying to save children during a planetary assault. An assault to wound and corrupt an entire planet, an assault he'd aided. Shaking his head at the memory the rage grew. Rage at his own failures and excuses that had brought him to call himself a Sith. The very thing that had destroyed his own tribe.
 
It was difficult, lingering so close to one who was as tainted by the darkness as Grundark was in that moment. He cursed Velok Brokentusk Velok Brokentusk for the way in which he salivated over the thought of claiming some of the Cragmoloid for himself... Not a lot of him, he argued, just a piece... A small slither...
No. With shaky hand the boy reached for one of the pouches so often found attached to his belt, and from within it he pulled a vial. Unstoppered it with his teeth, and swigged at the contents. Not so good when it went down cold, was it? Not so good as the very real, very tantalizing thing before him... Still it satiated his gutbeast, for now at least, even if only a little. Allowed him to clear the fog from his brain.
Clarity brought with it further sense. A rage induced Force Body wielding Cragmoloid? Are you stupid, Arcturus? You were really considering... Force, it would have been Mercy Mercy all over again, only he did not doubt that Grundark would have the sense to put a mad dog down. Even if he hadn't been rage-induced himself.
Grundark's question hung heavy in the air between them. A question the boy knew not the answer to. Was he a Sith? He'd certainly denied as much to Tamiko Sabo Tamiko Sabo at least in a sense. A Sith in naught but titles... He refused to have her succumb to the same corruption so many others had, a fierce protectiveness having formed before he'd even realized what was happening. Was that an answer in and of itself then? Did he know deep down where his allegiances lay?
With himself. With his student. With his work. But that work relied so heavily upon the darkness... Would it smother him in the end, too?
"It's such an ugly word, Sith," Arcturus retorted, after enough silence had hung between them. After he felt certain the beast within him was sleeping once more. "What happened, Grundark? Had it always been so bad, and I simply did not notice how far your corruption had bore?" There was a very real, very tangible grief which washed over the boy in that moment.
In his minds eye he saw the Cragmoloid as a pillar of strength, and honour... What sat before him now was pitiful. Certainly not the man he'd come to know. Was this where his own path would end?
 
A wave of sorrow washed over the Cragmoloid at the question, and the sadness was enough to even quiet the rage for a moment. With a heavy sigh he opened his mouth to speak, but nothing came out. After a minute or two of awkward silence he finally pushed through his words with a quiet rumble. "Pride, pride happened. My tribe has always been pulled at by darkness, it is our fate to fight the madness we are born already within us. We are forced to walk among the stars away from home until we can find this peace. The males of my people at least. As dangerous as that is already I knew what using the darker powers of the force would do to me. Yet I was a warrior and I wished to fight with my all, to bring honor in battle. So I accepted the dark gifts of rage and strength through the force. I let it in like a flood gate, and I knew power."

Reaching his hand out he picked up the carcass of one of his pilot droids. "This is the fruit of that poison. Sorrow and rage. My eyes fill with shadows and my thoughts with whispers. They want me to dominate you now. Bring my wrath to worlds unknown and take what I like to satiate the rage. I see it for what it s, but there is no strength left to stand on. My last battle of honor is to sit here and die quietly, and that is a difficult battle indeed. Was I always corrupted, no. Make no mistake through, boy, I know what I did to myself."
 
The silence stretched on between them for so long that he felt certain the other would not speak in response. Arcturus did not seem to mind it, at least on the exterior, he remained where he had sunk down to sit and leaned his head back against the durasteel wall. Perhaps it was folly to remain so close to a man like Grundark in that moment, a man who could very easily tear apart the vessel and send them both out into the void. A man who, seemingly, had already made attempts at doing precisely that.
But he couldn't leave him like this. There was honour among friends, and Grundark? Well... Grundark was a friend. A mentor, too, perhaps. But a friend above all else.
A friend who smelled delectably good... The gutbeast roused once more, though having only just been satiated. It clawed within his abdomen, and begged for more. Just a taste... Just a bite... Just a slither. It whispered those words within his mind until Arcturus turned his gaze to the Cragmoloid in general temptation. Would he notice if he took a nibble..?
"Feth," he whispered under his breath. Reached for the vial he'd left beside his knee, and drank the rest of what lay within it. One down... He wasn't sure how much longer he could withstand the gutbeast, but a little while... Surely a little while more...
Thankfully Grundark began to speak then, and his words afforded the boy something of a distraction. He spoke of his pride, of his herd, of his preordained fate, of the hand he'd had in reaching this point. How he'd welcomed such corruption in a way, or at least known to expect it.
Arcturus looked upon the destroyed droid, and then back to Grundark. He seemed... quieter now. Like some of the rage had subsided. Not entirely, of course. And the boy knew better than to presume it would remain that way for long.
"So that's it?" he inquired, seeking out the other man's gaze, "The Great Grundark, condemned to live out the last of his days on what will effectively become a durasteel tomb? That's truly how you see your story ending?" He was playing a dangerous game, he knew, any moment anything he said might trigger the Cragmoloid into dangerous action once more.
But Arcturus wasn't going to sit here and watch the man roll over and accept death so readily.
"What did you want of all of this, Grundark? What was the great plan which led you down this path? I doubt this is where you saw yourself, when you were a little Cragmoloid among your herd. So what? If not this, then what?"
 
He snorted as Arc spoke, perhaps the most animated he'd been yet. He did listen though to the young man's simple wisdom. Ordinarily it would have given him pause, but now he heard the words through a filter of darkness and hopelessness he felt powerless to overcome. "The great Grundark? Perhaps that was the first mistake in it all. I am far from great. My deeds are filled with evil and the pain I have inflicted on others. My honor was the bit of shred I held onto to allow me to lie to myself, and it now too is shredded. The truth is unavoidable, my boy. I have been a monster all of my life, but I have also chosen to be a true monster many, many times now."

A little Cragmoloid eh? He couldn't remember those days for some reason. They were cloudy and far away, and they no longer wanted his stain anyhow. He didn't blame them for that. What did the boy want though, why was he putting effort into this waste? No doubt he had a need or purpose, but no he remembered the young man who saved children. No perhaps he just thought he was saving again.

"Turn away from your sorceries, little one. I should have stopped you long ago, but I thought you had the right to try your luck against the madness. I knew better though, perhaps not as well as I do now though. It will strip you of everything and give you bitter ashes in return. Go find your own peace, this is as close as I come to mine."
 
Something the Cragmoloid said resonated within the boy. He stared at the man for a long time, trying to conjure up the words he wanted to say; it was difficult though, what did one say to a man so close to the edge? To a man staring out at the void, hoping to find nothing staring back at him.
"Chosen."
That was the word he led with. Another pause after it was said, leaving it hanging in the air between them.
"But that's just it, isn't it? It's a choice. All of it's a choice, Grundark. What you do, where you go, from this point on? That's a choice too. You can sit here, wallow in your pity, or you can work toward changing your stars."
Arcturus forced himself to his feet then, huffing a breath as he did; going from so low to so high was difficult at the best of times, doubly so with the heavy fog of corruption lingering around them. All the same he stood. Even in doing so, it seemed as though the Cragmoloid towered over him.
He approached the man, then crouched down in front of him. Enough distance that he might have a chance at reacting should he lash out. Might. A risk he was willing to take.
"You can find that honour again, Grundark. Become a great and noble being... Take a step toward change, and then another one. Sitting here, though? Wasting away? What good will that do? What use will you be to your herd if you wither in your ship, chipping away at its hull? I know deep down you want more for them, for your people. The way in which you sang of them back on Valrar... You were hopeful then. Be hopeful now. Please..."
Please.
What good were pleases and hope to a man at his wits end?
 
Irritation grew in him even as the boy started in about choices. What did he know? How could he not see this was better then slaving and pirating again to sooth his rage and darkness. This was him fighting damn it, it was all he had now. Then the gall on him to approach the monster? He was not tuskless yet!

Rage built as he spoke of his herd, and family. There was no way the boy could know of the failures, of his mother still waiting for his return. For the return of so many of them from the stars. So few did return every year, even a single one was cause for celebration. Duties came after, but ah the celebration of the whole herd would continue sometimes for days for a long lost son. It was that thought and memory which brought out the deep rage more then anything.

There was no way to know, Grundark moved like an explosion the force suddenly surging through his bone and sinews and he stood up like lightning. Grabbing the poor boy across the middle with a single hand as he lifted him against the ceiling of the hall and held him there against the cold metal. With a loud trumpet he let out his rage at the boy, but there was no force bellow with it. No this was just a bull citing his final warning. Even in anger he knew the boy now, and he would not harm him.

After a moment he spoke through deep breaths. "No song will welcome me home now, Arcturus. I have failed in my duty against the madness. My kin will smell it's stench on me before I even could touch the stony ground of my home. I have failed my mother. Speak not of his again, little friend. This close though I can smell it on you too, boy. What have you wrapped yourself into?"
 
Even as he was speaking he knew he'd overstepped his mark, and yet regardless he'd continued to babble on. Stupid, the boy was acting stupidly, like a babe too innocent to know any better. But he wasn't innocent, and he did know better. So when Grundark rose up to his mighty height, and took him around the center by one gargantuan fist, he felt certain that this was it.
His end had come.
Thrust into the ceiling, he could not help but be reminded of Mercy once more. She'd almost broken his back ramming him against a wall to stave off his predatory bites, might well have squished him into a pulp if he'd not found sense enough to relent. This time he was expecting that Grundark might finish the job.
Part of him maybe hoped for it.
But he didn't. He bellowed a loud trumpet, bereft of the Force, and warned the boy against pursuing such thoughts further. He wanted to fight, he wanted to give the Cragmoloid reason to exist once more, but he could already feel the pressure of his one hand around his torso, could already feel the crushing weight of that grip threatening to dislodge his ribs.
Arcturus discovered in that moment that he did not, in fact, wish to die. Whether he knew what awaited him on the other side or not.
Though he had stiffened in surprise, arms grasping at the great elephantine one which held him in place, the boy slowly eased up. Limp in his hand. Relenting... He did not wish to relent, but what other choice did he have?
"Is there truly nothing left for you?" he whispered. In that moment, and not due to the crushing weight of Grundark's grip against his chest, Arcturus' heart broke in two. A question, not a continuation of what had already been said. A pitiful, grief ridden question. "I do not wish to see you wither away here, old friend..."
Whether due to pain borne of physical state or mental anguish, tears he could not withhold welled within his eyes and threatened to drip down on the Cragmoloid's mighty trunk. Would Arcturus have to simply accept Grundark's fate? Was it his place to try and tempt him further from the edge when he'd already made so sincere a plea against such? Was it wrong to deny him this last shred of honour he sought to hold on to?
Grundark's question lingered between them. He could smell it on him, then, the corruptive nature of Velok's gift. Arcturus did not wish to speak on it, Arcturus did not wish to sully whatever image the Cragmoloid had of him within his mind. Would doing so only push him closer to the void? Would doing so see his own hastened demise at the Sith Lord's hand?
And yet, Arcturus had never saw fit to hide things from the man who held him in his grasp. There had never been a reason to be anything but honest. Grundark had always had his best interest at heart, Grundark had prompted him on more than one occasion to turn his back on it all. Grundark would no doubt be dissatisfied to hear of all that had transpired with Ishani, of how he'd turned his back on a chance at happiness, on a chance at truly living.
"I succumbed to the machinations of Brokentusk," he confessed, eyes closing against the reality of the situation. He did not wish for Grundark to see him this way. Did not wish for that at all. "I have it under wraps, mostly. But... Such is of little concern to me right now, Grundark. Forget about it. I wish not to further darken your hours."
 
Words were a throw off but it was the tears that actually stunned him. As one fell casually on his face the Cragmoloid felt a deep shame and put Arc down. With a shake of his head he listened to his last words without speaking for a moment before let out a long sigh through his trunk. Was there nothing left of him? It wasn't what the boy had said, but it's how he heard it. Had he truly let the madness consume all of him?

Putting an elephantine hand on the young man's shoulder Grundark gave it a squeeze of support before speaking. "You fell to no machinations, little one. Brokentusk is a creature of honor if nothing else, and you well knew that all sorcery comes at some cost. If you haven't yet as long as you've tried to dabble into it then you really are in danger. I may pity myself and wallow too much in my self righteous misery, but I'll be damned if I let you blame others for your choices."

Snorting he shook his trunk as he laughed softly, in hand indeed. Turning his head up towards the front of this ship he shouted out to pilot droid well aware the damn thing be listening. "Send a message to Velok Brokentusk Velok Brokentusk I'll take his invite to fight after all. He'd best leave some pickings though before we get there. Then full speed to Kesh. Won't be much there if we give Velok too much time."

It felt good to be moving, to be doing anything really. It wasn't a cure, and it certainly didn't make everything better but perhaps there was some hope. "So tell me again Arcturus Dinn Arcturus Dinn what have you gotten yourself into?"
 
The boy found himself lowered back to the ground, though in truth he had no idea what it was which had caused such. Not his words, he knew, that would have been too easy... Much too easy. And when the Cragmoloid spoke, he spoke a truth so deep that Arcturus hung his head in momentary shame.
Yet the hand on his shoulder offered him some comfort, some small level of hope. Certainly enough to acknowledge the truth.
"I know," he breathed, understanding well that his fate had been his own. He should have done more, asked more, anything, before doing as he had. What had come next was his own fault. If not for the strong woman he'd have probably died there on Denon when his actions caught up with him. She'd given him a second chance, an opportunity to get a grasp on it all, and so far he'd tried his damndest to do precisely that. Were his efforts flawless? No, they were not, and even now, even with an entire vial of blood steeped in the darkest of the dark, he wanted nothing more than to answer the call within him.
And then the strangest thing happened. Grundark called to his pilot droid, and asked it to speak with Brokentusk. Arcturus felt his blood pressure spike for a moment, no doubt fueled by the residual energy lingering around them; he forced himself to catch it, to hold his breath and let it go. If he was to lay blame on others, what would remain of him? The boy had never shied away from responsibility, even if it held something of a comfort in those moments. Even if it was in many ways easier to blame the Whiphid for his fate.
Arcturus' eyes opened all the same, glancing up at the Cragmoloid when he spoke of a destination. Arcturus wondered then if his own ship would survive being pulled alongside Grundarks. Perhaps he'd detach it, allow the droid he'd recently acquired to take charge over it and bring it along for the ride. Two ships were safer than one, after all. Still he could not keep the confusion from his gaze.
What had changed?
He wasn't sure it made sense to speak on it. Not yet. So instead he stretched out his back, hearing various joints pop in the process, and set one hand to the durasteel wall in order to support himself.
Before he could actually ask him, Grundark spoke a question to him instead. What had he gotten himself into? What indeed...
"It's my own folly, really. I did not think to ask the effects of the brew" Was it really a brew in the end? No, it had formed something strange and gelatinous within the bowl. No doubt caused by all of the keratin. "Lesson well and truly learned, I guess." To be fair, Arcturus had been on the upswing after a hefty binge session, his mind had not been in the right place. Another excuse? No. He couldn't keep making excuses. The man before him would not permit such.
"I uh... I've developed a, uh..." He whetted his lips, turning his gaze once more from Grundark to stare off at some spot on the wall. Largely indented by the great elephantine tusks. "A taste for all things Force Users..." All things, something of a relative understatement wasn't it? "I'm working on methods to quell it, though I must admit it's not so easy around figures such as yourself... If you could smell how you smelled to me..."
He gulped. Braced himself for the worst, to become nothing more than a squashed stain against the wall. He wouldn't even blame Grundark for doing so.
 
"One word, Myrkr. Almost every creature there kiddo is dripping with the force. They hunt with it and hide with it even if you can't feel it. Little trick those lizards pick up to hide from predators who hunt just with the force. The whole damn planet is a buffet, stop thinking force users and start thinking force saturated. No wonder you thought you were cursed. You're a damn sorcerer you need to think these things through."

Shaking his head for a moment he couldn't help himself and simply threw back his head and laughed. "Vornskyr diet for you it is, though the meats most likely tough as old bones. Still nothing to feel shame at. Come along lets hear the rest of it all its a few hours at least till we arrive, and well I need a shower too."

Moving his trunk under his arm he sniffed and near gagged. "Check that shower then you can regal me of what you've been doing since I last saw you other then eating Sithspawn."

Arcturus Dinn Arcturus Dinn
 
Force Saturated creatures...
And here Arcturus had been planning to ration himself, to take all that he could from each creature he culled whether sentient or otherwise to ensure that he did not succumb too readily to the beast. Vornskr though, Vornskr was a good call. He'd considered delving into the Nether, where all beings were of the Force, but he hadn't wished to upset the Shadows who called that place home.
Not least because he knew not what level of trouble it might rain down on Kal Kal for being his sole contact there.
"Hard to rightly think when you've a thing inside your stomach clawing for more. But you're right... There's better options. Thank you, Grundark." He had come here to try and offer his friend a path forward, he had not been expecting for more of the same to be cast his way in the process. And here he'd been afraid to share the truth, embarrassed by it. No longer. A sorcerer he was...
Even Grundark acknowledged as much.
"Better tough as bones than the likes of you, my friend." Maybe it was just the relief he felt at being seen, at being accepted, but some of that hunger he'd felt began to wane. Sense returning to him now than it had prior. Yes... Things seemed better, if only a little; Grundark was back on his feet, that's what mattered. In that moment that was all that mattered.
"They make showers large enough for you?" he quipped with a smile, feeling far more himself again. Alright, a shower then a conversation as they made their way to Kesh. "Have you eaten recently, Grundark?" he inquired of the Cragmoloid, and whether he answered or not Arcturus found his feet seeking out the kitchens all the same. A man so large as he was sure to have a sizeable appetite... It only made sense to satiate it before they reached the battlefield.
 

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