Approved Species Glee Anslem Nagarian Mantis Shrimp

[dwanofwar3]

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION
* Intent: To create a giant mantis shrimp so that i can roleplay as a giant mantis shrimp
* Image Credit: [X] from a scene in the fallout comic on the beach. Diagram for eyesight is here Mantis Shrimp from Wikipedia
* Canon: Glee Anslem
* Links: Mantis Shrimp

GENERAL INFORMATION
Name: Gree Anslem Nagarian Mantis Shrimp
Designation: Semi-Sentient Crustacean
Homeworld: Glee Anslem
Language: No language.
Average Lifespan: 400 years however longest recorded lifespan was 927 years
Estimated Population: Planetary
Description: At first glance one would see a colourful mantis shrimp with what seems to be two club like appendages. Other then the clubs one would see two barbed spear like claws that seemed incredibly sharp. Another thing one would see are very weird eyes which is due to each eye having trinocular vision.

PHYSICAL INFORMATION
Breathes: Type 1
Average height of adults: 2 meters high
Average length of adults: 7 meters long
Skin color: Normally bright Fluorescent colours. Mainly A combination of Blue, Red, Green and Yellow how ever their shell seems to go brown when out of water
Hair color: N/A
Distinctions: The nagarian mantis shrimp has a extremely advance exoskeleton which in fact has a lot of shock absorbent. The nagarian mantis shrimp also has many legs with 4 big ones and multiple small ones that are to many to count. The nagarian mantis shrimp also comes with two giant spear like claws which are used to impale prey and pull it to the safety of its burrow while it also comes with two club like appendages that are able to smash its prey easily breaking heavy armour and due to the strength of the club and how fast it moves it makes a cavitation bubble that when collapses it pretty much makes a small shockwave essentially causing its prey to be hit twice normally breaking its armour, stunning it or killing it.

Spoiler

Due to not being the best at physics and maths i can not give an exact power of the punch and cavitation bubble but to put it in perspective the punch a real life mantis shrimp does is as powerful as a .22 caliber pistol and the cavitation bubble collapse is 1500 newtons

The eyes of the mantis shrimp have 3 sections giving each eye trinocular vision and allowing the mantis shrimp to look in multiple directions at once while their eyes also are able to see in ultraviolet and see alot more colours than a human.
Races: No known subspecies

Strengths:
* Extremely powerful club like appendage able to break some of the strongest armour while in water. (excluding armour made out of restricted material)s
* Better Eyesight than most creatures in the galaxy. Able to see 180 degrees from its fromt
* Sharp barbed spear like claws allowing it to easily pierce soft tissue
* Able to dig burrows quickly underwater allowing it to easily hide and wait for its prey
* Shock Resistant exoskeleton meaning basic explosions or blunt weapons such as hammers won't do much
* Quick burst of speed of a couple of seconds for striking prey


Weaknesses:
* While able to leave the water it does dry out quickly
* the club appendage is way weaker while out of water since it can not make a cavitation bubble while out of water.
* While out of water it isn't the best at hiding
* While moulting it loses its exoskeleton meaning it is easily killed
* Do not expect to enter small areas easily
* Built for ambushing prey and not for head to head combat
* No shell underneath the mantis shrimp
* big blindspot behind the creature. Eyes can not turn meaning it can can not see past 180 degrees
* Other than the quick burst of speed while striking its prey the Nagarian Mantis Shrimp is a slow swimmer
* Exoskeleton is built for shock resistance meaning it only has minor protection against piercing weapons or plasma bolts
* Even with its exoskeleton being built for its club the club still strains the body when used meaning it can not just attack multiple times using its club or else it will risk serious injury this also causes its exoskeleton to loss most of its shock resistance for a small period of time
* Low stamina

Here is a little diagram i quickly made to show where its blind spot is

Spoiler

CULTURE
Diet: Carnivore. Eats anything that gets in its hunting zone
Communication: Using visual cues using its fluorescent colours and rumbling in the water.
Technology Level: Primitive. Able to learn how to use basic technology
Religion/Beliefs: N/A

General behavior: While not much is known about the Glee anslem nagarian mantis shrimp what is known is that its an expert hunter able to set up ambush sites anywhere their is sand or a cave and come out of no where and kill its prey. It is mostly a solitary creature however when two Glee Anslem Nagarian Mantis Shrimp mate they normal stay together for a maximum of 20 years. The female lays eggs and protects them from predators while the male hunts for food for the female and male. Glee Anslem Nagarian Mantis Shrimp are able to recognise neighbours and have a pretty good memory with the skills to solve many puzzles such as a rubix cube

Spoiler

https://youtube/0uTdTRXNdEY
And yes the video has been certified real

They are known to sometimes hunt in shallow water and kill creatures that are on the shore however this is uncommon. They are pretty aggressive and will protect their territory from other giant mantis shrimp in simple mostly non lethal duels. It is possible to tame one of these beasts with the force or a lot of food and are shown to show affection to their owners if treated well.

HISTORICAL INFORMATION
 While not much is known about the Glee Anslem Nagarian Mantis Shrimp due to them hiding in their burrows most of the time waiting for food what is known is that they are successful hunters and are the cause of many deaths underwater in Glee Anslem. One problem with studying this creature is when put into aquariums the giant mantis shrimp seems to break the glass with its club and when put into personal aquariums with other creatures it seems to love killing everything. It has been recorded that the Glee Anslem Nagarian Mantis Shrimp has been tamed using the force and is a very useful mount. One problem when looking for a Nagarian Mantis Shrimp is that when you found it you would normally be near its killzone and have a high chance of being attacked.

 

[Kaili Talith]

[member="dwanofwar3"]

Hello, I will be reviewing this

 

[Kaili Talith]

​

Image Credit: [X]

Could you change the image source to provide an artwork title as well as artist name? Since the image used is concept art I would also accept a descriptive title as well what it is from.

Name: Glee Anslem Giant Mantis Shrimp

For the sake of keeping this within the frame of not reusing real life names, I would like to ask that you come up with a name for your species that isn't simply "Mantis Shrimp"

Language: No language. Some how ever have been known to be able to speak with others using force telepathy

Designation: Semi-Sentient Crustacean

It's been asked that you please change their designation to Sentient if you wish for them to speak with telepathy. Either strike telepathy or change the designation to Sentient.

Average Lifespan: Technically immortal in the sense it doesn't age

Sorry, but "technically immortal" doesn't sound very good. Please provide an average lifespan.

Breathes: Oxygen. Able to breathe in and out of water

This is more to say what kind of atmosphere it can breathe in. Type I or Type II, etc.

Moving on to Strengths, this is what I read it as:

Strengths
-Way better sight than humans
-Sharp barbed spears that can pierce soft tissue
-Able to dig quick burrows underwater
-Explosives Resistant
-Extremely fast
-Ageless

Weakness
-Dries outside of water
-Club Appendage less effective outside of water
-Can't hide outside of water
-Moulting? Loses exoskeleton.
-Too big to enter small areas
-Built for ambushes
-No armor at belly

This is very unbalanced. I would like to see 'ageless' stricken as well as having you pick between either having them be explosives resistant or being fast. It could be worth having the eye sight toned down a little as well.

Communication: Using visual cues using its fluorescent colours and rumbling in the water.

Telepathy should be listed here if you decide to keep it as a language.

There are some more edits, but we'll start with these since they are the bigger ones.

 

[dwanofwar3]

[member="Kaili Talith"]
Ok i have done some edits

Only thing i request is to keep mantis shrimp in the name because i like them and want to roleplay as one. I have changed Giant to Nagarian so its name isn't as basic

Also changed extremely fast to being able to do a quick burst of speed when ambushing its prey

 

[Kaili Talith]

[member="dwanofwar3"]

The name change works, thank you.

Shock absorbent exoskeleton means explosive won't be the best course of action to taking down this beast

Well, I said either/or. If you want to keep both speed and the shock absorbent aspect of the exoskeleton I'd like it to be shock resistant rather than absorbent/immune.

it also comes with two club like appendages that are able to smash its prey easily breaking heavy armour

This should be clarified under strengths but also sounds like a lot when coupled with both speed and defense. It is basically a very strong beast that can use a burst of speed to catch its prey while also being very resistant to damage. It's a bit too much and you might want to reconsider where you place all your strengths. Scale most of them down and keep one of these aspects at their current level, but not all of them.

 

[dwanofwar3]

[member="Kaili Talith"]

The armour was only meant to be good against explosive not anything else. I have now added that to the weakness.

I hve also added some drawbacks to using the club such as the armour losing most of its armour resistance as it has to recover from the shock caused by using its club

I have also added low stamina to the creature as it is built for attacking its from its burrow and not for chasing down its prey

 

[Kaili Talith]

[member="dwanofwar3"]

So just to recap what it looks like right now.

STRENGTHS

1. Extremely powerful club appendage
2. Better eyesight than most
3. Sharp spear-like claws
4. Shock-resistant Exoskeleton
5. Quick burst of speed that is used to ambush prey
6. Still dangerous when the element of surprise is lost

WEAKNESSES

1. Dries to death outside of water
2. Club is weaker out of water
3. Can't hide outside of water
4. When molding new exoskeleton it is easily killed
5. Can't fit into small areas (caves)
6. Exoskeleton does not cover belly
7. Blindspot (Where?)
8. Slow swimmer
9. It is weak against anything that isn't explosions
10. Usage of the club is straining and can't be used
11. Usage of the club leaves it vulnerable to attack
12. Low stamina

SUMMARY
Exoskeleton can:

• Resist explosions

Exoskeleton cannot:

• Resist anything else
• Cover stomach
• Offer protection once the club is used

The species as a whole can/is:

• Resist explosions
• Use a club to break strong armors
• See better than most
• Built to charge and ambush unsuspecting prey
• Always dangerous, even once the element of surprise is gone.
• Easily be killed when shaping a new exoskeleton (Vulnerability)

The species as a whole cannot/has:

• Survive too long outside of water (Vulnerability)
• Use its club to the same degree outside of water
• Hide outside of water (Vulnerability)
• Fit in small areas
• See in a certain spot (Vulnerability)
• Swim very fast (Vulnerability)
• Resist blasters and blades (Vulnerability)
• Use its club appendages too often (Vulnerability)
• Low stamina (Vulnerability)

It's a big list, and I do not think it needs anything more. Just refinement.

What I want is for you to do is:

1. Clarify where the blindspot is.
2. Move the weakness "Still deadly when surprise lost" to strengths.

 

[dwanofwar3]

[member="Kaili Talith"]
Gotten rid of the text still deadly when surpise is lost since it wasn't meant to sound like a strength and I can't be bothered to reword it

Added its sight and incase people don't understand what i mean with its sight i added a quick diagram

Also did a edit to the armour which states its also resistant to blunt weapons such as hammers since their club is technically a blunt weapon and they would be able to survive if another mantis shrimp hits them with it

 

[Kaili Talith]

[member="dwanofwar3"]

Good enough, I am going to send this up the chain.

Approved pending secondary.

[member="Zeradias Mant"] // [member="Mahet"]

 

[Quietus]

I have unlocked your submission so you can make the necessary edits to your broken links.

Tag me when you have finished fixing them.

[member="dwanofwar3"]

 

[dwanofwar3]

[member="Mahet"]
Thank you. Links should be fixxed now

 

[Quietus]

[member="dwanofwar3"]

For your strength of being able to break through most heavy armors I will need you to add a clarification that it cannot break armors made of Restricted Material metals.

 

[dwanofwar3]

[member="Mahet"] Ok I have put that in

 

[Quietus]

Very good.

It's an odd choice for a character but we aren't here to be normal.

Approved