Private Ghosts of the Past

[Sakadi Marathi Sinvala]

S A K A D I ' S -R E S I D E N C E
M O O N -O F -I S O B E

The vegetables that lay scattered across the countertop stood in stark contrast to the clean austerity of her kitchen. They were shriveled and pale, barely recognisable in their dehydrated state. It was reflected in their taste. Earthy and faint, the flavours stripped down to their bare essentials, no matter how much water she'd let them soak up. Eating them would be less a pleasure than a task. But her pantry had been thinned by the particularly harsh winter that had gripped the moon of Isobe, and so this was what remained. Nourishment over enjoyment.

The days, at least, were lengthening. Soon the first farmer’s markets of the year would return, bringing fresh produce, small talk, and the quiet rhythms of local life. Perhaps there would be news from off-world as well. The galaxy changed hands quickly, although little of that urgency was ever felt here. Word was that the Thustra system now lay under the Mandalorian Empire’s control. Yet so far, no decree had reached Isobe that mattered. She hadn't seen any tax collectors, nor soldiers. Let alone flags. And so, life continued.

She was quite content with the simplicity. The sunrise marked the start of her day, and the sunset told her it was time to wind down. Some evenings, she granted herself a few extra hours by the fire. Knitting blankets thick enough to ward off the winter chill. But the silence, perhaps, remained her favorite part. The deep stillness of a life removed from the galaxy’s endless noise.

Of Jedi duty.

She had laid that burden down when the Duchess of Thustra ascended. The girl she had guided, trained, and quietly shaped into a ruler capable of restoring the Thustran monarchy after the devastation wrought by Lirka Ka. By then, Sakadi’s title as Jedi Watchman of Thustra had long since become meaningless. The Alliance had fallen, and with it the authority that had once named such roles. Still, she had remained long enough to see her task through. And afterward, she found no reason to leave.

There was no Temple to return to. No beacon of unity calling the faithful home. No shining light to rally behind.

The Jedi were scattered. Broken into schools, praxeums, and enclaves. Each claiming some fragment of the old teachings while lacking the whole of them. What was duty now, but keeping the memory of the Light alive? And that did not require her. All that her legacy, her line of students, apprentices, and teachings had produced, were Jedi who had fallen to the Dark side.

No, her watch over the Light had ended. Not through defeat or exile. But of her own volition.

She grimaced as she tipped the vegetables into a bowl and poured steaming water over them. They seemed to soak up the liquid reluctantly, as if resisting rehydration.

Yes, eating this really was going to be an act of endurance...

Caltin Vanagor

 

[Caltin Vanagor]

HERE WE GO!
SHE’S ON … ISOBE
I’M ON WHEREVER

The thing about being needed is, you are, even when you don’t know it.

One moment he was watching the life of others, and he was watching many at once…

… the next moment he was watching a Sephi eat vegetables. A Sephi he recognized, Sakadi. A Jedi who never looked at him with normal eyes, always bulged or rolling. He observed Sakadi's peculiar behavior, wondering if it was a quirk or something deeper. The Jedi's odd gaze seemed to suggest an inner focus or distraction, leaving him curious about what lay behind those rolling eyes. Perhaps it was a sign of hidden thoughts or simply eccentricity.

I know that the Force has a sense of humor, but this is “breaking and entering”. At the very least, I could be called a “peeping Tom”... not cool…

... in the words of an old colleague… “Hello There.”

There he stood, arms folded. Don’t mind me. I was sent here. Don’t know why yet.

TAGS • TAGS
[Text in Brackets is spoken on Comm-link] ~Like this is through the Force~​

 

[Sakadi Marathi Sinvala]

A sound that was not her own.

Sakadi whirled at once, bowl raised high like an improvised weapon, hot water sloshing over the rim and onto the floor. She stood like that for a moment, eyes widened in shock. Caltin. recognition finally came through. That's Caltin. Her brow furrowed deeply, lips parting in stunned silence. But Caltin is dead.

She had been too late to attend the funeral. Distance and circumstance had denied her that final courtesy, though she had paid her respects alone when the news reached Isobe. In time, she had made peace with the Order’s loss.

Or tried to.

It had been difficult to imagine someone like Caltin gone. To believe that an unbreakable pillar such as Caltin had finally crumbled. Harder still because she had known him personally. Yet what stood before her indicated he hadn't left the world. Not fully, at least.

Slowly, still somewhat guarded, Sakadi lowered the bowl. ~ Caltin. ~ Her projected voice emerged smooth and composed, carrying the same measured calm it always had. Only her face betrayed the surprise still working through her. She found it hard to trust others after months of isolation. Even a visit from a friend felt strange and disruptive. ~ What a surprise. ~ She tilted her head slightly, studying him. ~ I would offer you tea, but you don't look as though you could keep that in. ~

Turning away, she set the bowl back on the countertop and opened a drawer, withdrawing a towel to dry her hands. ~ I would ask what brings you here, but you already said that you don't know either. ~She glanced over her shoulder to catch his expression. The big man was readable, that had always been one of Caltin’s better qualities. Transparent in the best sense of the word. His intentions were rarely hidden, and almost always kind, good, or just.

Her own thoughts moved quickly beneath the surface. The fact that a dead friend stood in her kitchen was cryptic enough. Holocrons she'd glanced over had mentioned techniques and dedications that could leave imprints in the Force, but she had always filed such things away with the more romantic myths. Yet the presence before her was unmistakable. It felt the same when she reached out with her own presence of Light. Exactly the same.

~ Tell me something. I was under the impression one of our central teachings was to let go. ~ She gestured toward him with the towel still in hand. ~ So what, precisely, is this supposed to be? ~

Caltin Vanagor

 

[Caltin Vanagor]

HERE WE GO!
SHE’S ON … ISOBE
I’M ON WHEREVER

Oh great. He scared the crap out of her. No real surprise, as it’s not like she was expecting him, not that anyone ever does. He just “appears” out of nowhere, it’s annoying.

Sakadi… Clearly, the Sephi was trying to determine if all of this was real and not some sick joke, he could understand that. After all, he was one with the Force, a Ghost, he was everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. Still the old Sakadi though, sizing him up. He was a presence that defied expectations, a figure of mystery and unpredictability. The Sephi’s hesitation was natural, given the circumstances, but it also revealed a lingering skepticism. Despite this, the old Sakadi’s instincts would soon confirm the truth of the situation, bridging the gap between disbelief and acceptance.

When she lamented about possibly offering tea, he shrugged. It would probably be a fun watch. That’s the Force though, just like why, while I don’t know why I am here doesn’t mean that there isn’t a reason. It doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

Then came more sizing up. This brought the tiniest of sighs. He wished he had the answers she would ask, but it happens every time. Do we really let go though? You taught what your Master taught you, as did they, and so on. We always kept to Codes and traditions. Is that not a matter of “holding on”? I’m not saying we don’t accept loss and let go of feelings that will control us, but this is often a misleading feeling. I mean, I’m here. I’m obviously here for a reason, and it’s not to warn you of visits from three other ghosts…

Stopping for a second and throwing up an eyebrow in introspection. I have no idea why I made that analogy… but anyway… if I’m here it’s usually because someone needs something. So why don’t I ask you. “What’s this supposed to be?”

TAGS • Sakadi Marathi Sinvala
[Text in Brackets is spoken on Comm-link] ~Like this is through the Force~​

 

[Sakadi Marathi Sinvala]

Sakadi gave a small, admitting smile. ~ Not fair. You know what I think of tradition. ~ Her words had a teasing edge. She had earned a reputation for chastising Jedi who moved too fast and too loose for her liking. Those who treated the Code as suggestion and discipline as inconvenience. Caltin, like many others, had been on the receiving end of those reprimands more than once.

Tradition mattered to her, and the tenets of the Code most of all. It was one of the things that had set her apart from many of the Jedi of her era. Her beliefs were considered rigid and even outdated, especially in the wake of the Bryn’adûl invasion and the war with the Maw.

But the Elder Compact had taught her too well what happened when the Order ceased to hold the Code above convenience. When discipline gave way under pressure, and when morality bent because the ground shook beneath it. She had seen what followed. That lesson had never left her.

But the difference now was that age had taught her how to wear that conviction lightly. Now, she could carry it with humor.

Sakadi folded her arms. ~ Three ghosts? Surely you do not mean to introduce me to my past, present, and future. I already have enough to think about. ~

Yet the real question remained between them. She held Caltin’s gaze, until she released a breath she had not realized she was holding. ~ What this is supposed to be… is the peace and quiet that comes after. ~ Her hand passed slowly through her hair. ~ I have done what I could for this galaxy, Caltin. I have been an instrument of the Light. I fought to defend democracy. I tried to instill the right values in the next generation. ~ Her projected voice remained calm, but something heavier moved beneath it. ~ I understand the struggle never truly ends. That darkness rises wherever the Light recedes. ~ She paused, looking at him more plainly than before. ~ But can my part in it not be finished? ~ It was a plea phrased as a question. ~ May I not lay down my saber after a century of struggle? ~

Caltin Vanagor

 

[Caltin Vanagor]

HERE WE GO!
SHE’S ON … ISOBE
I’M ON WHEREVER

… and you know the time period I once lived in and lived that tradition as well. He was not trying to be harsh in his response(he was kidding too), not at all. However, Caltin was Knighted during the Clone Wars. He was a seasoned warrior who had seen many battles and upheld the values of chivalry. His remark was lighthearted, reflecting his familiarity with the traditions of his era, even as he acknowledged the passage of time and the changes that had occurred since then. He had also survived and lived through the purge, long enough to understand the failures that brought about what had happened.

If asked, he and Sakadi would be and are of the same opinion, tradition matters, however it is also choices that are important.

When she folded her arms and asked him about the three ghosts, it was safe to say his eyes could not grow any larger. You know about those? Pacing around a couple of steps and looking up, he seemed annoyed. What the frell, man? Almost like he was complaining to some idiot in front of a laptop at his home.

Then things got serious.

She started to lament the state of the galaxy and her place in it. How it seemed to pass her by and she was tired. Understandable, all of it. One problem though. Are you asking me, or yourself?

A shrug brought about some conviction. You could put your saber down after five minutes if that is what suits you. It’s not like you're contractually obligated or anything. It's a destructive, thankless, often painful existence filled with loss. So if you want to stand down, do so. If not, stand. It’s about what you choose. I mean, when I came out of the ice, I could have stayed away. I could have looked all the time I had as “retirement”, I almost did.

The thing is, I had to be able to look at myself in the mirror. It just wasn’t in me… even with finding someone… even with the birth of my son… this life was a gift… but I had to be who I was.

You have to be who you are, Sakadi. If you want to step down, then step down, you’re the one who has to be good with it. He gestured up and down what was once his body as if to make a point.

TAGS • Sakadi Marathi Sinvala
[Text in Brackets is spoken on Comm-link] ~Like this is through the Force~​

 

[Sakadi Marathi Sinvala]

She avoided his eyes because he was right. She was not asking him. This struggle had never been between herself and Caltin. It lived entirely within her. Walking away had felt easy enough. Too easy, perhaps. Freedom had felt deserved. Peace of mind had felt earned after so many years of war and sacrifice. And yet duty still tugged at the hem of her robes.

Light, Caltin... How do you always manage to put me on my back foot?

He was one with the Force now. Whatever this visitation was - the greater will of the Force, some memory, or an early sign of madness - there had to be purpose in him being here. This was not sparring with an old colleague. It was confrontation with herself.

So, Sakadi did something rare. She granted herself a rare moment of vulnerability.

The composed expression softened. The cool certainty in her gaze cracked. ~ And what if 'who I am' is not good enough, Caltin? ~ She rubbed at her arms unconsciously, as if warding off a chill that did not come from the room. Then glanced at him again with a dejected look. ~ I failed all my students. Half of them fell to the Dark side. The others? They were maimed and scarred, body and mind alike. I could not keep the Silver Jedi Order together, let alone the Concord. ~ She shook her head. ~ What difference does my blade truly make, if all my hand has wrought is pain and destruction? ~

Twice she had taken a seat upon the Silver Assembly - the High Council of the Silver Jedi. The first time had been to salvage what Coren Starchaser left broken, to steady an Order reeling from failures that culminated in Laertia Lo’s terrorism. Yet despite all her efforts, the schism came anyway. The wounds had run too deep to mend. Next, she had brokered a careful accord with the Hutts that ended the slave trade in Wild Space. Then a new generation of Hutt rulers discarded it the moment Bryn’adûl refugees arrived at their systems. All her victories were temporary. Fleeting triumphs, swept away in every next crisis.

But political failures were not the ones that haunted her most.

It were the personal ones.

The apprentices she could not save, the friends who fell, the names she still remembered in the quiet hours.

Even now in this last decade, she had left Isobe at times to hunt down the abhorrent clones Darth Insatious had created with Cas Tynen's DNA whenever they were sighted. Even now, the shattered state of Taliya Kassel’s mind troubled her.

And what remained of her legacy? Yenna and Elryn Freestar. Two Jedi who, in their own ways, seemed to reject everything she stood for. That was on her too. She had been too unwilling to truly see them until it was too late.

The conclusion she had drawn was simple. The Order was better off without her.

She had vowed not to teach again. Never again to burden the galaxy with flawed judgment at the moments that mattered most.

Caltin Vanagor

 

[Caltin Vanagor]

HERE WE GO!
SHE’S ON … ISOBE
I’M ON WHEREVER

There it is. She’s afraid. Afraid of not being able to recapture the Jedi she once was. Wow, never seen that before.

… Maybe you’re not supposed to do it the same way anymore. There it was, she was calling herself “Irrelevant” and truly letting it all out. He had seen it before, he had experienced it all before. You think the problem is that you failed.

He shook his head. What if the problem is you’re trying to be the same Jedi in a galaxy that isn’t the same anymore? He eyed her, there was a tiny bit of annoyance in his voice, but it was not directed at her.

Have you ever heard the analogy about the difference of the three paths? A Guardian, a Sentinel, and a Consular walk to a locked door? A Sentinel will see if they can pick the lock, a Consular will simply knock, and Guardian will kick the door down? Well, I would have kicked it open, pulled it off its hinges and threw it aside back in the day.

He smirked. I know I was still basically doing that, but I was showing other ways to open that door to the younger set. I knew I had to adjust to a new time and that was part of doing it.

When she gave him the dejected look and spoke some more, that gave him resolve he didn’t have a moment ago. So you learned how to control other’s choices? He paused. That’s new. When did they start teaching that?

I was there with the Silver Jedi as well, remember? I was there from the moment Caden Evessa and several others pulled me out of the ice of Rhen Var to the moment Matsu Ike took the Temple intergalactic.

Now his arms were folded. I lost count how many times I failed, but I learned something from each time. His words were steady, quiet, calm. You’ve been through a lot. If you want to walk away, then walk away. However, I don’t think I would be here if you were.

He didn’t answer right away. Just watched her.
Like he’d heard that same sentence… from himself. “What would you tell a Padawan right now? One who thinks they’ve ruined everything. One who’s tired. One who still cares… even if they wish they didn’t.

TAGS • Sakadi Marathi Sinvala
[Text in Brackets is spoken on Comm-link] ~Like this is through the Force~​

 

[Sakadi Marathi Sinvala]

Sakadi tapped her fingers lightly against her arm. Her face, usually so disciplined, betrayed the silent concerns moving beneath it. And what if I have already tried all three paths?

Because she had.

In her earliest years, she had been apprenticed to a Guardian. She followed that road through Knighthood. Trusting the clarity of direct action, until the galaxy’s problems proved too tangled to be cut apart with elegant bladework alone. So she changed. As a newly made Master, she embraced the path of the Consular. Spending time to unravel history, culture, language, and a broader and deeper understanding of the Force to support the growing burdens of leadership.

Finally, after her tenure ended, she took the quieter path. Work among ordinary people. The hidden removal of dark influences through solitary, covert effort. Watchfulness without acclaim. It had been the last mantle she wore.

Still, Caltin’s point landed cleanly. She did not own the choices of others. More, he had endured the same age she had. The same wars, the same fractures, and the same failures of the Order.

Not fair, she thought bitterly. You went out in a blaze of glory. You, at least, have given your all. You are done.

But… was he?

He still stood here. An afterimage impressed upon the Force itself, guiding the lost and the doubtful. Duty to the end.

A Jedi to the end.

Then came the final strike. What counsel would she give another, standing where she now stood?

She rubbed the back of her neck and let out a short snort. ~ Truly unfair, Caltin. ~ A faint smile touched her lips. ~ Since when did you become good at this? ~ Her chin lifted. When she spoke again, the old certainty had begun to return. ~ I would say duty is heavier than a mountain. Death lighter than a feather. Hardship is part of life. It rises to meet the weight of what one chooses to change. To give up may unmake all one has already built. The only path forward… ~ She delayed it, because they both knew the answer before she said it. ~ …lies in continuing ever forward. ~

She nodded once, satisfied by the truth of it. ~ I will find a way onward. ~ Then her eyes rose sharply to meet his, in a measured and determined gaze. ~ I only need direction now. Where is our Light most needed, Caltin? Where do the Jedi gather these days? Where should I go? ~

If he was one with the Force now, then surely he knew where the current of destiny flowed. Surely he knew where to send her next.

Caltin Vanagor

 

[Caltin Vanagor]

HERE WE GO!
SHE’S ON … ISOBE
I’M ON WHEREVER

He always knew when his point had landed with Sakadi. Her eyes didn’t roll.

This was one of those times.

It wouldn’t be fair if you were a newly assigned Padawan. Maybe even a newly Knighted Jedi. His smirk did the rest. But you’re not. You already know what you have to do. I could tell you what worked for me, but we are two different people.

His expression softened.

My son, Connel… you’ve met him. He always looked up to you, you know. Not because you were easy to impress. Because you were never afraid to tell someone what they needed to hear without wrapping it in honey first.

When she asked where to go, Caltin looked aside for a moment, as if listening to something just beyond the walls of the little kitchen. There are a few roads I can point you toward, but ultimately two stand out. He blinked once.

There is a new Praxeum being built on Chalacta. Katarine Ryiah is there. Your insight would matter. Your experience would help shape something young before it learns the wrong lessons too deeply…

A pause let the words hang and him to blink. ... but I don’t think that is where you are needed most. They could use her help, but frankly they needed to do things the way that they are right now, her voice would be lost, even if unwittingly.

His gaze returned to her. Go to Naboo. They are trying to keep a hand on the proverbial table there. Look for Ala Quin . My sister, in every way that ever mattered. She is their Grandmaster now, and she is exactly the sort of person who will know what to do with someone like you.

The faintest grin tugged at him. Which means she’ll probably argue with you first.

Then his expression settled, warmer now. Less command. More farewell. Go as yourself, Sakadi. Not as the Jedi you think you failed to remain. Not as the teacher you think the galaxy outgrew. Go as the woman who still knows the difference between peace and surrender.

His form began to thin at the edges, light pulling gently through him.And when you see Ala… tell her I’m still watching the table.

TAGS • Sakadi Marathi Sinvala
[Text in Brackets is spoken on Comm-link] ~Like this is through the Force~​

 

[Sakadi Marathi Sinvala]

Upon mention of Connel, Sakadi snorted. ~ That was a thankless job. People don’t tend to like it when you go against them. ~ She had offended a lot of Jedi in her time. A lot. Most had acted with genuine good intentions, and few of them had taken kindly to being told that benevolence and unchecked freedom were not always the right answers. Her bluntness had earned her a reputation she knew well. ~ But I am glad to hear Connel appreciated it. ~ She gave a small nod, more to herself than to Caltin. ~ I hope he has found his own path too. ~

She listened closely as Caltin laid out the current state of the Jedi. A praxeum under Katharine Ryah. There was a faint flicker of recognition there, a name half-remembered. Then there was the Order of Shiraya, aligned with the High Republic. According to him, her best option.

~ Ala Quin? ~ The name meant nothing to her. But Caltin trusted her and that was enough. Even now, her mind was already moving, mapping out possible ways to reach the Order of Shiraya.

Then came his final advice: to go as herself. Not as the roles she had once carried. Not as the versions of herself that no longer fit.

And then he began to fade.

Sakadi smiled softly.

~ Thank you, Caltin. For everything. ~

She held his gaze until he was gone. Even after he had fully faded, she remained still, eyes fixed on the space he had occupied.

A ghost of the past… paving the way to my future.

She exhaled quietly and shook her head.

By Surik’s blade… how did you manage that, Caltin?

At last, she turned back to the table. Resolve settling in where uncertainty had been. She would finish her dinner. And then, she would get to work.

Jedi work.

[EXIT]