G-Canon? Ain't that a witch.... (Dathomir troubles)

[Talon Vosra]

The lights of the ship's console danced in the Jedi's emerald eyes as he brought the ship out of Hyperspace. The old Thunderclap had been a gift for his part on O'reen and it was serving well so far. The slight smell of coolants tinted the air and the engines hummed in the background. The cockpit was dimly lit to allow him to see but not so much as to distract his flying.

He scanned the area and as usual for worlds like this there was no traffic. He hit the comm and tried to rouse his fellow Jedi.

"Master @[member="Joshua DragonsFlame"] we are nearing Dathomir." He said calmly.

With luck they would not run into trouble while they faced the hostile creatures that filled the world. Talon felt that Dathomir was on par with Duxn for danger but the witches were his concern they rarely enjoyed outsiders and outsiders on investigations and training were less enjoyed. He aimed for the planet and a small clearing near a river basin then set down. Soon they would find out what the trip held.

@[member="Hayato"] @[member="Satara Hawk"] @[member="Petra Cavataio"] @[member="Norge Rucras"]

 

[Placeholder 0143]

Norge was ready to film the sequel to Blarg Trek. His cam-droids floated around him as he strode out of the vintage gold Belbulab, Alphabet Canon and folded his arms over his man flabs. He wore long Chith Robes, designed in the same style as Emperor Palpatine's. His stomach hung out over the robes, revealing his hairy food sack. A plastic Lightstick demanded attention in his free hand. He was ready.

"G-CANON, A-CANON, bring me the Nightsisters!" He stamped his red lightstick on the ground. "We have to talk about what level of canon they want their actors to be! Go!"

With that, the sphere-like cam-droids floated off in search of life.

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

The Grandmaster had fallen asleep in his quarters. It had been a long trip after all and he heavily disliked long distance hyperspace travel.

For Talon's mission, or whatever this was, Josh had elected to tag along in case Talon ran into any trouble. It was rare these days for Grandmasters to step out of their offices in non invasion or major mission situations, but Josh was a rather different individual. Participate and motivate. That was Josh's strategy. These little missions, regardless of the danger level, weren't beneath him. But it was the likelihood of danger that had made Josh choose this mission over others.

He would be roused from his sagely slumber by the voice of Talon. Gah, how ironic. A talon waking a "sleeping beauty". What was this world coming to? At least he didn't use an oversized rooster...

Sitting up, the Grandmaster would fix himself up to look presentable before heading out to see what the ruckus was about.

Who was yelling? Was it that adult film director again? Why WAS he here?

@[member="Hayato"] @[member="Satara Hawk"] @[member="Petra Cavataio"] @[member="Norge Rucras"] @[member="Talon Vosra"]

 

[Talon Vosra]

@[member="Hayato"] @[member="Satara Hawk"] @[member="Petra Cavataio"] @[member="Norge Rucras"] @[member="Joshua DragonsFlame"]

Talon cut the voice recording of their target. One Norge Rucras, wanted for publicly playing smut films in front of underaged clones. Although it didn't happen in Republic space, the "director" had crossed boarders and with a view toward Justice Talon had volunteered to help apprehend the flabby criminal kingpin.

"Master DragonsFlame scanners show another ship to the east of us near the mountains. We may start there." Talon said over the comm system.

 

[Placeholder 0143]

Dathomir sucked. It smelled like Nerf dung and looked like one of the moles on Norge's thigh. He wobbled through the eerie planet surface without a care in the world. In the distance, a rancor could be heard, yet Norge refused to care. He had business to take care of. He pushed through a bramble of bushes, then another...and another...and another."Screw nature!"

The tubby little man reached into his super evil cloak. he yanked out an almost comically small flamethrower, one whose model he had no idea. It shot some pretty sick flames though,and that was kinda dope, so he had bought it from this idiot arms dealer man.

"Q-Canon, record this. The fans will love it!"

The third and final little orb droid floated over him. Norge clicked the activation key, and spurts of blue flame--blue!-- began to cut a violent swathe through Dathomir's murky forest thing. Today would be a good day. Norge couldn't help but cackle.

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

(THANK YOU FOR GIVING US A PLOT TALON. HALLELUJAH)

Josh nodded as he walked over to Talon. "Loud and clear, Talon" he said, looking out the window.

"Blasted flabby old man..." he muttered. "The sooner we get him apprehended, the better. I'd rather not piss off the Dathomirian Witches" he said. "I've heard the stories. None of which are good"

He noticed the ship out of the corner of his eye as the ship went...

"There" he said, pointing toward the golden Bulbaleb. "I see a ship, that might be our target" the Grandmaster said calmly.

He took a breath. Hopefully they could find this guy before he pissed off the Witches.

@Hayato @Satara Hawk @Petra Cavataio @Norge Rucras @Talon Vosra

 

[Placeholder 0143]

Norge was having the time of his life! If only his best pal, Gaben, was here to enjoy the slaughter of forestry. This would teach the woodlands to try and grow on his lawn! Norge sighted a small furry creature with big, puffy, cute cheeks. He turned it into a bony sack of blackened meat. Norge scooped it up for a trophy, and attached it to his belt.

The man was down-right terrifying. "No more pollen up my nose!" An ancient tree burst into flames. "No more nuna mating on my back porch!" He span about and scorched the den of some small, furry animal. "No more shirtless tree hugging me-"

Norge Rucras came out into a massive clearing. It was full of dead trees, bones, and many other scary things. This would be the boss battle, Norge knew it. He made sure the cameras were rolling, and turned up the heat setting on his phaser-flamer. "My name is Norge Rucras, and this is Rack-Smass!"

The senile, drunken, tubby film director charged into the clearing. Something monstrous roared. What looked to have been a group of rocks began to move, expand, and...stand up?

"BOSS BAAATTTLLLEEEE!!!!"

 

[Talon Vosra]

@[member="Norge Rucras"] @[member="Joshua DragonsFlame"]

Spoiler

@[member="Apollymi Djo"]
@[member="Aston Jacobs"]
@[member="Edison Bulkhead"]
@[member="Elayne Hawk"]
@[member="Isley Verd"]
@[member="IxChell Kai"]
@[member="Jensen Watson Sabbatab"]
@[member="Kadesh Tiamat"]
@[member="Kiyala Demont"]
@[member="Kytarra Hawk"]
@[member="Lauda Cavataio"]
@[member="Lavania"]
@[member="Madoc Hawk"]
@[member="Namarii"]
@[member="Novorian Asha"]
@[member="Petra Cavataio"]
@[member="Revy Khai"]
@[member="Satara Hawk"]
@[member="Satiri Khai"]
@[member="Sno Wyte"]
@[member="TiCira D'Arr Hawk"]
@[member="Zane "]

Talon brought the ship in low and landed not far from the fat man's vessel. Seconds later he was on the move toward the boarsing ramp. He wore his sleevless tunic and the signs of Sith torture were still visable. His Jedi pants and boots were tan and brown respectively. He hit the pad for the ramp and quickly began to move down.

"He setting the Trees on fire!" Talon yelled to Josh. "We have to take this guy down."

 

[Edison Bulkhead]

Even if she wasn't Force sensitive, Edison couldn't help but notice the disturbance. But it was sensing the panicked animals that alerted her, snapping her from her meditation ritual. They were dying for no reason, and that meant unwelcome visitors.

"Monna, Mimbo, with me," she said darkly, rising from her cross-legged stance. From the darkness of the cave two enormous blue, black and white spiders, each coming up to the witch's shoulders, moved, trailing behind Edison as she exited. Outside, her rancor mount awaited. The witch paused to stroke the massive beast's snout. "Good girl, Ginger," she said soothingly. The rancor did not enjoy the company of the huge spiders, but Edison reached out with the Force, calming minds. She climbed dexterously aboard the back of the rancor, her nose wrinkling at the smell of smoke.

"More slaves by nightfall," she mused grimly.

@Talon Vosra @Norge Rucras @Joshua DragonsFlame

 

[Placeholder 0143]

Rancors were punks. Big, fat, woman-whipped, punks.

Norge faced down the dastardly beast like the legend he was--that is, he stared at it, squealed, and turned tail, spewing flames behind him as he whipped the little weapon around in every direction. This part would be cut from the movie, of course. He must have done something right because the monster roared, or squealed, whatever sound Rancors made.

He turned to face the thing, only to see its flat pig nose burned, along with the flabs of skin around it massive jaws. Rancors were definitely punks. "Do you know who I am?!" Norge roared. "I am NORGE RUCRAS! CREATOR OF BLARG TREK! EVEN THE PREQUELS! I HAVE DESTROYED CHILDHOODS, SLAUGHTERED DREAMS, AND VIOLATED THE IMAGINATIONS OF FANS EVERYWHERE!" The Rancor simply stared, possibly puzzled. "I AM THE GOD OF THIS REALM, AND YOU ARE MY...sheep? YES! YOU ARE MY SHEEP, AND I AM YOUR SHEPHERD, BOW BEFORE MY MI-"

His speech was stopped midway as the Rancor charged. Norge, already rather intoxicated, no longer had any fear. He wobbled toward the beast, flamethrower spewing the wrath of hell itself, an Norge was its demon.

All of this happened, of course, because Norge's writer was going scuba diving in a place thousands of light years away known as Kawaii. His writer was lazy, and eating a tub of ice cream as this was written, thus, the greatest battle the galaxy had ever seen was about to unfold.

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

Josh himself was dressed for Dathomir. Instead of his robes, he wore a brown tunic, sleeveless. It seemed Talon wasn't the only one with some kind reminders of Sith imprisonment, though Josh's was... A little prettier, he supposed. From his right shoulder all the way to the wrist was a tattoo, spiralling red and orange flames. As professional as it had looked, it had been tattoo'd onto him as a Padawan by a tattoo artist who had gone mad during his time in the prison, and employed his thugs to hold random prisoners down as he practiced his skills. Luckily, Josh had managed to free himself before he could receive anything else such as a face tattoo, but instead of getting the rather pretty flame tattoo laser'd off, he opted to keep it as a souvenir.

Couple that with the surprisingly muscular physique that was normally hidden under big brown Jedi robes, and the Grandmaster certainly didn't look like how he was usually presented. Regardless, those little details mattered nothing as he started to head down, his jedi pants being hugged by his armored boots, after Talon.

"Blast it" the Jedi Grandmaster muttered as he noticed the carnage. "What is this madness? Who is this madman?" he said, shaking his head.

He could hear the roar of the rancor, and the Jedi's heart skipped a beat.

"Damn it all... This is a lot more then we bargained for"

Spoiler

@[member="Norge Rucras"]
@[member="Talon Vosra"]

@Apollymi Djo
@Aston Jacobs
@Edison Bulkhead
@Elayne Hawk
@Isley Verd
@IxChell Kai
@Jensen Watson Sabbatab
@Kadesh Tiamat
@Kiyala Demont
@Kytarra Hawk
@Lauda Cavataio
@Lavania
@Madoc Hawk
@Namarii
@Novorian Asha
@Petra Cavataio
@Revy Khai
@Satara Hawk
@Satiri Khai
@Sno Wyte
@TiCira D'Arr Hawk
@Zane

 

[Talon Vosra]

Spoiler

@[member="Norge Rucras"]
@[member="Nessarose deWinter"]
@[member="Edison Bulkhead"] @[member="Joshua DragonsFlame"] @[member="Norge Rucras"]
@Talon Vosra
@[member="Apollymi Djo"]
@[member="Aston Jacobs"]
@[member="Edison Bulkhead"]
@[member="Elayne Hawk"]
@[member="Isley Verd"]
@[member="IxChell Kai"]
@[member="Jensen Watson Sabbatab"]
@[member="Kadesh Tiamat"]
@[member="Kiyala Demont"]
@[member="Kytarra Hawk"]
@[member="Lauda Cavataio"]
@[member="Lavania"]
@[member="Madoc Hawk"]
@[member="Namarii"]
@[member="Novorian Asha"]
@[member="Petra Cavataio"]
@[member="Revy Khai"]
@[member="Satara Hawk"]
@[member="Satiri Khai"]
@[member="Sno Wyte"]
@[member="TiCira D'Arr Hawk"]
@[member="Zane "]

Talon skidded to a stop as he saw I the sevsral camera droids and the fat trash director of trashy films without direction. He let out a sigh as he rushed forward and began trying to decide whether he would try and put out the fires or save the idiotic man in cheap robes.

Minutes later Talon emptied the third of four fire extinguishing devices on the ship and took up the third while Norge faced the Dathomiri Rancor, which is much bigger than Rakata prime Rancors. He would see what was left of the director when he got some of the fires under control.

 

[Edison Bulkhead]

Spoiler

@[member="Talon Vosra"]
@[member="Norge Rucras"]
@[member="Nessarose deWinter"]
@[member="Joshua DragonsFlame"] @[member="Norge Rucras"]
@[member="Talon Vosra"]
@[member="Apollymi Djo"]
@[member="Aston Jacobs"]
@[member="Edison Bulkhead"]
@[member="Elayne Hawk"]
@[member="Isley Verd"]
@[member="IxChell Kai"]
@[member="Jensen Watson Sabbatab"]
@[member="Kadesh Tiamat"]
@[member="Kiyala Demont"]
@[member="Kytarra Hawk"]
@[member="Lauda Cavataio"]
@[member="Lavania"]
@[member="Madoc Hawk"]
@[member="Namarii"]
@[member="Novorian Asha"]
@[member="Petra Cavataio"]
@[member="Revy Khai"]
@[member="Satara Hawk"]
@[member="Satiri Khai"]
@[member="Sno Wyte"]
@[member="TiCira D'Arr Hawk"]
@[member="Zane "]

Edison Bulkhead, clad in the black leathers of her clan, a long, bladed pike in her left fist, topped the rise aboard her might Rancor Ginger, flanked by two gigantic spiders, each fully four and a half feet tall. A wind, seemlingly from nowhere, blew the young woman's hair around her face like a halo of night as she took in the scene below. A white-haired, bearded man, clearly not made for the wilderness, had a flamethrower aimed at a helpless (if that word could ever be used to describe a behemoth) rancor.

"Stop!" she cried, using the Force to lend power and volume to her words. "Right now! You! Idiot! Put the flamethrower down and step away from the rampaging beast!"

For its part, the rancor pulled up short, though begrudingly, and pawed the earth, dividing its gaze between the newly-arrived witch and the fat man who wanted to roast it.

As if on cue, the wind blew Edison's hair straight back, away from her face, and a glint of sunlight cut through the trees and lit up her angry eyes. If blaster bolts could have shot from their radience Norge Rucras would have left behind nothing but a beefy stain. Edison lowered the bladed staff to point at the director as the two spiders, Monna and Mimbo, stepped forward, ready to dart down the hill and strike. "What. Are. You. Doing. Here."

 

[Josh Dragovalor]

Josh, along with Talon, skidded to a halt as they witnessed the sight of Norge burning the forests, the animals, and.. A rancor?

He nodded as Talon quickly went for the fire extinguishers, then noticed the booming voice of Spider Woman. Witch or not, they had a common goal right now.

He took a breath as he extended an arm, reaching out in the Force toward the flames shooting from Norge's weapon. He couldn't stop him from firing, or use the Force to rip the heavy weapon from his hands. Not without causing more damage to innocent life.

The flames stopped shooting out. Well, not exactly. They got halfway through the weapon before extinguishing. Josh was using his own pyrokinetic abilities to keep Norge's weapon from harming anything. All to give time to...

"Quick! Get the weapon out of his hands!" The Grandnaster called out toward the woman. No matter their alleigances, he had to trust her right now.

Josh didn't know how long he could keep this going... The Witches opening would be small if she didn't act quickly. Josh was immobile doing this, and was expending a lot of energy. Pyrokinesis was energy demanding, especially in succession.

(Didn't really do anything last post so figured I'd grab an action post since everyone else had. Sorry if that causes any trouble if theres a post order, although we never really did establish one. Just had some muse)

@[member="Edison Bulkhead"]

@[member="Norge Rucras"]