Private Full Circle [Tag: Kahlil Noble]

[Caedyn Arenais]

CAEDYN ARENAIS​

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Location: Coruscant Jedi Temple.
Time Setting: Post Exegol.
Tag: Kahlil Noble

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Peace, no matter how temporary, was something to be appreciated.

The battle of Exegol had been horrific, as all battlefields typically were. Caedyn Arenais was a skilled combatant when it came to combatting the Sith and those who would impose on the free will and wellbeing of others, yet his values didn't see such times come without great apprehension and regret. Every life he had been forced to take weighed on him. He had, in the past, even taken several years off in order to right himself in the quiet of Mnemosyne, serving as a mere caretaker for the Jedi Temple Grounds there; and while he remained steadfast in his commitment and faith in his role today, the tragedy of war continued to be held close within his personal reflections and personal down-time.

Today on the other hand was a return to the pleasantries of Temple Life. The Jedi Knight strolled down one of the numerous corridors of the grand Jedi Temple of Coruscant, passing students and mentors alike, bidding them warm greetings as he did so. Life on Coruscant was wonderful. Caedyn enjoyed holding lessons for the new generations of Jedi Students, one day leading by example as prospective Jedi Knights in the future. The eagerness of the youth to learn and become gifted practitioners of the Force was something Caedyn always found encouraging and admirable. Some were too young to understand the nature of the Galaxy beyond the Temple walls, but others like his Padawan Ariana Du Couteau were most skilled and astute in their endeavour to learn and grow.

In fact, there were days when the students made Caedyn feel old. Something he hadn't expected as he considered himself to still be fairly young himself. He had a wealth of experience, sure, yet he hadn't been prepared to feel as though he were among the older generation of Jedi just yet. He was, after all, only thirty-eight. The Force had been kind to Caedyn, despite the more violent of experiences he had witnessed along his path. He had not only survived unlike some of his old friends and colleagues, but thanks to the assistance of his parents' legacy, he had the financial backing to truly make a mark on the galaxy through organizations such as Lifeline Connect LTD. He had served all across the Galactic Map over the years, first as a Je'daii and later as part of the Outer Rim Coalition, the Rimward Trade league, the Order of the Silver Jedi, and finally moving on to the New Jedi Order of today. One certainly could not argue that the path of a Jedi was one of exploration and vivid experiences.

Today, however, Caedyn had a fairly free schedule. He had been granted some time off due to his participation on the war front and with there being no classes to instruct for the next seven days, he was glad to simply be among the Jedi of Coruscant once more, walking and talking with those who so wished to do so.

 

[Kahlil Noble]

Eyepatch and a sling. Wasn't often Kahlil had to cover his wounds. In a way, it was a relief he could take the time to heal. Growing up, no, no. There was no time to recuperate. Even if he lost a limb. At least it was just corruption of the Dark that had his arm unusable at the moment, and his left eye blind. That was certainly better than loosing a limb entirely, right? He paused his walk, glancing to the sling for a moment with his one good eye.

Maybe, if it could recover at least.

He set a hand atop the sling, just for a moment. The warmth of the Epicanthix he'd been able to free was still there, even with the numb left by Kyrel Ren 's drain. Maybe it would be usable, in time. They had time now. The end of Exegol saw that much.

Kahlil was about to resume his walk when something familiar caught his attention. He blinked, turning his head to try and find the source. For a moment, he couldn't believe his eyes. Veiere. It was rare for emotion to show on the Jedi Master's face, but the surprise and joy was clear. Veiere had died, he knew that much, but Kahlil knew better than most that death wasn't the end, especially for Jedi.

Though the excitement in his features dimmed just a little as he realized no, it wasn't Veiere. He chuckled to himself, shook his head before finally just approaching.

"It's Caedyn, right?"

Caedyn Arenais

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"It's Caedyn, right?"

Caedyn turned at the sound of the voice, one which accompanied a face that he recognized well. He and Kahlil Noble did not know each other well on a personal basis, yet Caedyn recognized the Jedi Master both due to the public archive and temple database, as well as recollections taken from his fathers Holocron, that which the gatekeeper embodying the personification of the deceased Veiere Arenais depicted stories of the past, including significant persons within it.

"Master Kahlil Noble" Caedyn replied with a warm smile in greeting, not formal but one of personal nature; "Indeed it is" He confirmed with a quiet chuckle; "At least, last I checked" he added with a touch of amusement.

Looking upon the man it was easy to note the injured arm supported within a sling as well as the eyepatch that was equally obvious; "Would I be correct to assume that you were also present on Exegol?" He asked with a gesture of his left hand to that of Kahlil's arm, "I do hope it's not as serious as your injuries appear" he sympathized. Caedyn had been fortunate enough to walk away from the battle with only minor scrapes and bruises, nothing to complain about by comparison. Hell, it was part of the life they'd come to expect as Jedi in today's Galaxy.

"And your Wife?..." He found himself asking with equal concern, soon questioning whether the inquiry wasn't too personal; "Forgive me if I'm out of line but Valery welcomed me into the New Jedi Order's ranks when I transitioned from Kashyyyk. She was most kind and someone I'd hope to consider a friend one day. Please send her my best, if you do not mind" Caedyn spoke warmly, a genuine concern shared for the pair of them. After all, he'd only heard good things about Kahlil too, in his time since coming to call Coruscant his home away from home.

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"Kahlil is fine."

Master Noble was Valery Noble anyway, and adding Kahlil to it just made it too much of a mouthful. He paused, glancing again to the sling before he did nod his confirmation. "I was, yes. Valery and I both helped to bring the Wall of Light to fruition with Master Asmundr Varobalder and the others. Valery and I are both fine, all things considered." It was still surreal to think that Varobalder perished to ensure their victory. A sad sort of smile took over his features. It really was a shame he never got to meet the man in person.

".. Oh. That I can do. Though her office is always open to visit if you want to speak with her. Even if she's the Sword she'd be sad if you didn't go see her because you thought she was too busy." The warmth of his smile returned, just a little.

"How's Loreena?"

Caedyn Arenais

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"I'm not familiar with Master Asmundr Varobalder , unfortunately," Caedyn replied, searching his memory to put a face to the name yet finding himself unable to do so. Many Jedi passed him on a daily basis, so many names and faces, yet projecting a Wall of Light was no small feat and so Caedyn assumed this Master Varobalder would have been an exceptional practitioner.

"I was on the ground when the light overtook the surface, however," He further spoke. Caedyn's tone of voice quietened noticeably, and he took care in how he conveyed his description of the act; "There's no doubt it turned the tide in the Alliance's favor. I was down on Exegol as part of Strike Team Windu, and while we completed our objective, I believe we would have eventually been overrun without it".

Even so, Caedyn was undecided on how he felt about the projection of such Force. He agreed with the act itself, yet he also found apprehension in showing it for the number of lives that had been taken on the side of the enemy as a consequence. It was regrettable. There was no argument that the Sith would not have ceased their fighting, yet he had been taught to respect all life, even that of the opposing force.

The mention of his Sister however gave the Knight a relieving change of subject; "Lori's doing great thank you" He replied with a faint smile, "Though she's struggling to adapt to her new direction in life. She resigned as a political representative for Mnemosyne and has chosen to focus on living a much quieter, albeit peaceful lifestyle. I daresay retirement has given her more freedom than she knows what to do with" he chuckled softly.

"Speaking of having too much time on one's hands, I've been given a week's leave from my teaching duties," Caedyn remarked, his left hand lifting to rub at the back of his neck out of indecisive habit; "Hence my loitering" he grinned warily.

Kahlil Noble

 

[Kahlil Noble]

There was no doubt the Maw wouldn't have surrendered. They even went so far as to destroy their own world after the Light cleansed it. And yet, a frown still settled on his face. The planet was still destroyed. Freeing Exegol from the corruption of the Dark could've meant a new beginning for the Sith world. But now, they'd never know. At least the conversation turned to something more lighthearted.

"I'm glad she's at least living well. She deserves it, after everything."

The Eternals, the rebellion. He didn't follow everything that happened in her life after the conflict with the Eternals, they'd grown apart. Perhaps he should visit her some time, if he had the chance. Right now though, he smirked.

"I think everyone's earned a little bit of loitering, all things considered. .. I have to ask, do you speak with your father at all?"

Caedyn Arenais

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"I have to ask, do you speak with your father at all?

It wasn't a question commonly posed, yet Caedyn understood the history between Kahlil and Veiere to some degree, enough to assume the Jedi Master's possible intentions behind doing so. "Fortunately, yes I do. Not as regularly as I would like, mind you" he answered with a small smile.

"In the early years after his death I was grateful to have his Holocron, but then sometime later Thurion Heavenshield was kind enough to welcome me to his Homeworld of Midvinter, teaching me how to do so. Being able to see him at peace with the Force certainly helped in processing and moving forward after his loss" Caedyn explained.

"In my younger years, I was resentful of him for the controversies of his past and how it affected our family. Both hindsight and the aid of his further teachings did much to reconcile our relationship, although regrettably only after he had been killed on Bimmisaari". Veiere had succumbed to the lure of the Darkside during a time of struggling faith in the Jedi Order of that generation. He had found himself on the outside of the very thing he was so passionate to serve, and the ideals that had always been held close to his heart. It was this anger that led to the foundation of an Order based on Jedi service yet twisted in the practices of the Darkside. It was all based upon a vision of 'the lesser of two evils'. Kill to obtain peace. Rule to ensure order.

Fortunately, it lasted only a year before Veiere turned himself in, not able to live with the weight of guilt and shame of what he had become. The former Jedi Master then spent the rest of his life seeking to redeem himself, recommitted to serving the light and the Galaxy, and eventually sacrificed himself for the sake of the civilian life on Bimmisaari during which The Sith Empire had invaded. His long-time rival Darth Prazutis had been the one to strike him down during their duel.

"I believe you knew him well" Caedyn spoke with a fond smile, "Veiere thinks much of the Jedi you have become today. He's spoken of you with kindness and admiration, though he did not go into detail regarding your past as he expressed it was not his tale to share. Rightly so, I think" the Jedi Knight elaborated some. Caedyn hoped that Kahlil would appreciate hearing the kind words of his father's watchful gaze towards Kahlil and the journey he had faced thus far.

Kahlil Noble

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"Master Veiere is why I was allowed to be a Jedi, considering my background when I joined the order." A softer sort of smile formed on Kahlil's face, though. Veiere was proud? It was strange how much just knowing that seemed to affect him. At least in Kahlil's head it felt weird. Something to think on later, though. Right now, he turned, motioned for the younger Arenais to follow while he processed the change of emotion to clear his thoughts.

"We should go to Kashyyyk. It's been a while since I was last there."

Caedyn Arenais

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"Master Veiere is why I was allowed to be a Jedi, considering my background when I joined the order."

"It's often amusing how things work out over time" Caedyn smiled at the thought, "Given where you are now, a member of the Council and all" he tested to Kahlil with a brief wave of his hand in the other man's regard; "In my experience, it's the difficult times where we struggle, that enables us to better serve the Galaxy and the Force".

Kahlil hadn't outright said it, but Caedyn had gained the impression that it wasn't an easy time. Especially if Veiere's assistance was as significant as it had been made out to be. As for the Jedi Knight himself, the theory had been proven time and time again. Caedyn's hardships had shaped his personality, and ideals, and humbled him over the years, to where he served without need nor desire for self-promotion or gain. Such a quality that many Jedi shared.

"We should go to Kashyyyk. It's been a while since I was last there."

"Kashyyyk?" He responded in surprise. He hadn't at all expected the suggestion; "I suppose it has been a while since I last visited". Caedyn had last dropped in on the Order of the Silver Jedi following the Silver Rest's renovations, or rather its rebuilding. They had been attacked, and the Silver Temple had been crippled during the engagement. Sadly, Caedyn hadn't known about the incident, nor had he been there to assist in the defence or subsequent recovery.

"I'd like that, actually" he decided. He had a number of days off-duty with nowhere urgent to be. A bit of an off-world trip down memory lane sounded like the perfect excuse to get away and enjoy himself. The added company would do him well to get to better know Kahlil Noble too.

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"My father still will eat his lightsaber, I imagine, once the news reaches him."

It was never a secret who Kahlil's father was. Keeping it a secret would've been a very quick way for him to be thrown in jail, or worse, by the very Jedi he wanted to work alongside. And, well. He never saw a need to. But, Caedyn agreed! And thus the Jedi master flashed a smile and turned to lead the way to the hangar. There was no reason to take his own ship for a quick shuttle ride across the galaxy to Kashyyk. Back to the first place he was able to consider home.

"Did you stay there long? I'm afraid I didn't stay long with the Silvers after the conflict with the Mandalorians. Couldn't bring myself to fight them, and lashed out too much against the very Jedi I was trying to help. The folly of youth, I suppose, thinking I was right and everyone else was wrong."

Caedyn Arenais

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"My father still will eat his lightsaber, I imagine, once the news reaches him."

It was true that Kahlil's family line was no secret; When you held the surname of Zambrano, it was not difficult for people to make connections. Even so, Caedyn made an effort not to pry too far into the personal lives of others lest it posed an immediate danger to others. In Kahlil's case, the man was also a Jedi Master and a well-respected member of the New Jedi Order who could hold his own, thus any threat that could come about from his familial connections, Caedyn knew his peer would manage with the appropriate accord.

"Did you stay there long? I'm afraid I didn't stay long with the Silvers after the conflict with the Mandalorians. Couldn't bring myself to fight them, and lashed out too much against the very Jedi I was trying to help. The folly of youth, I suppose, thinking I was right and everyone else was wrong."

The subject of the Order of the Silver Jedi was however much more familiar to the Jedi Knight, and there were few times when he didn't think of Asaraa Vaashe when speaking of his former Order. "I resided there for a number of years following the Sith-Imperial Invasion of Commenor" Caedyn explained; "I was trained by the Je'daii, but when the Sith Empire occupied my homeworld, my father rallied a resistance against them. It was during that time I met my partner..." His voice trailed a moment as he found himself speaking of Asaraa as though they had ironed out those sensitive details. Was that what they were once again?

"Asaraa Vaashe introduced me to the Silver Jedi as the Je'daii Order began to recluse from the Galaxy for a time. It was from then that I took the mantle of Jedi and have done so ever since. If memory servers, I was nineteen at the time". Caedyn's service with the Order of the Silver Jedi was extensive and long-lived. Still to this day, he considered them a part of his family, yet he had requested transferrence across to the New Jedi Order so that he could experience change and find understanding in how the two differed. In his mind, the more he opened himself up to what was new, unfamiliar and uncomfortable, the greater the acquisition of knowledge and personal development.

"It's been some time since I was last contacted by the Silver Jedi Council, however. A year or two now, in fact. I couldn't tell you who's running things on Kashyyyk these days" He gave a wary smile, mostly at expense of himself as it felt strange to admit how distanced he was nowadays from said family. The Galaxy was ever-changing.

Kahlil Noble

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"Then it's for both of us to figure out, I suppose."

Kahlil chuckled just a little as he settled into his seat. The droid pilot would fly them to Kashyyyk without needing his input, so at least he could focus on the conversation.

"The Je'daii still exist? I can't say I've heard much of them asides from the usual lessons you'd get about them being the past. From the Jedi and Sith, no less. What was that like? Being a Je'daii?"

Caedyn Arenais

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"The Je'daii still exist? I can't say I've heard much of them asides from the usual lessons you'd get about them being the past. From the Jedi and Sith, no less. What was that like? Being a Je'daii?"

"It's different from the life of a Jedi Knight, and I often find myself identifying disparities between the two Order's ideologies in my day-to-day service. One of the most common differences being in how they view the Darkside Practitioners, and Lightside Practitioners" Caedyn answered honestly as he accompanied Kahlil Noble aboard the ship, soon moving to seat himself in one of the free chairs within the cockpit whilst the Jedi Master's droid set to work preparing for their departure.

"The Je'daii teach both" he stated simply, though soon to elaborate with the expectation that Kahlil would react as many a Jedi had in the past; "Knowledge is embraced alongside discipline and self-awareness so that someone who is skilled in the use of the Darkside does not go so far as to lose themselves to it. The Force is considered whole, the light equal to the dark, in Jedi terms. There cannot be one without the other, and the Bendu assures this. Balance.".

"I'm oversimplifying it, of course. Years of dedication and study are required, spending long periods of time residing in the nine Temples of the Tho Yor." he sought to clarify for Kahlil's reassurance. "My Master was Asha Sar'andor, the head of the Order back then. She taught me to value the identity of a person rather than their mere affiliation or practice. Jedi today seem to have the notion that the Sith are evil and must be eliminated to ensure peace, whereas I see peace to be impossible with this way of thinking, especially when you consider that during the first of the great civil wars between Force Users, it was the practitioners of Ashla that first drew blood against the followers of Bogan, out of fear for what they might do....", ironic considering this grave mistake still continued in today's Galaxy.

"Ostracized and discriminated against, it's no wonder the followers of Bogan resent us today. A history of rejection and bloodshed precedes them and given that the practice of Bogan is fueled by one's passions, here we are." Caedyn spoke quietly, almost under his breath as he pressed his back against his chair and sighed to himself.

He had unintentionally gone into a bit of a speel, years of silent thought, frustration and questions begging too much influence into what arguably should have been a brief description of the Je'daii. "To put it as simply as I can, they are scholars of the Force. Dedicated students and wise practitioners. They do not partake openly in the wars fought today, and if they do it's not likely under public disclosure of their origin. Jedi see the fight against the Sith as one against an enemy. Je'daii see it as a fight against ourselves. Endless violence".

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"Perhaps, once, it was just a fight amongst ourselves. I can't say it's much of that these days, though. If you saw what it meant to be Sith first hand, I don't think you'd agree with that sentiment." Kahlil mused lightly. Caedyn certainly felt strongly about what he was saying, and the Jedi was certainly not in a place to just say who was right and who was wrong. There were far too many people in the galaxy to make broad claims. But he did know his own past.

"What those followers of Bogan were, they are no longer. I can't speak for all Jedi, but I at least fight to protect from the cruelties of the Sith. What the Je'daii of old did, what the past was, should not be forgotten. Neither should the galaxy today be judged today by how ancient past was."

Caedyn Arenais

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"You're not wrong. Actions cannot go unpunished, and there must be consequences" Caedyn agreed with Kahlil Noble 's words, "Please don't misinterpret my views as any disagreement towards our duty as Jedi. I joined the Order because inaction only furthers the atrocities being committed in the Galaxy today" the Jedi Knight explained himself, wanting to ensure that Kahlil did not breed any doubts as to Caedyn's faith and commitment to service as a Jedi.

"I do however see disparities in our service, most significantly the theatre of war. I regret that our involvement is unfortunately necessary, but take Exagol for the most recent example...-The wall of light" Caedyn looked across to Kahlil as the vessel traversed left the atmosphere of Coruscant. It would be clear in his words and the tone of his voice that Caedyn meant to tread carefully so as not to offend the Jedi Master seated at the command of the ship.

"Such a powerful and destructive show of Force. Despite being Sith, how many lives were extinguished with such an attack?" Caedyn spoke rhetorically, for he did not wish to know the statistics in truth, but sought to make a point. "While many would disagree with me, as is their right, I am not certain how we would justify such an act from a Jedi ideology. I've considered 'the greater good' and I realize the Sith would not have simply surrendered themselves but so many lives were wiped out almost instantly. It's something that deeply concerns me...".

Caedyn fell quiet for a moment as if reflecting upon himself. To some degree, airing these concerns with Kahlil felt as though he might be encouraging one of his peers to question his position as a member of the Order. "Though I hate to admit it, I do not speak from inexperience. I have seen my share of wars and served on the frontlines of numerous battlefields. I am guilty of taking lives in the line of service myself, and I know the toll such things can take on us....-So please understand that I do not question such things to push judgement on the Order. I have dedicated my life to serving as a Jedi Knight. I merely hope that such acts might be avoided for our students, those who will continue on in our absence".

A thought came to him at that moment, a realization of sorts, though unconfirmed; Perhaps it was these discussions that continued to give Caedyn the impression of being distanced from many of his peers. It certainly wasn't by design, but he did truly believe that these questions needed to be asked. Uncomfortable conversations are held in an attempt to encourage his students and peers to question the status quo, avoid complacency and blindly follow without informed decision-making. It didn't feel like a popular trait, but Caedyn had heard and seen too many Jedi in his time speak in justification for the taking of life, with so little consideration for the other side and how unnatural loss of life affected the Force itself.

"Forgive me if I am out of line. At forty years of age, a life of fighting can lead one to question such things, for the sake of our young, if not our conscience" Caedyn leaned back against his seat and turned to look to the stars that began to streamline passed the viewport. The number of lives he had taken in service to the Galaxy, for 'the greater good' still did not distract from the volatility of the act. Time and time again, he believed that there had been no alternative; but then everyone who entered into war believed themselves justified in some way, regardless of the side they were fighting for. "I serve as a Jedi because I believe it is where the Force has led me. I have no intention of doing otherwise, yet it would feel wrong for me to not question such things".

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"When Valery created the wall, we knew what we had started. The damage it would cause. I reached out to everyone there to bring about a shield to protect them. Protect all of our allies from the fallout. My only regret with it wasn't that it worked, but that it wasn't enough. Exegol is gone, because the Sith had been given the room to bring about the destruction of their own world rather than let it be healed when the battle was done."

Kahlil let out a sigh. Closed his eyes. If they hadn't been jettisoned by the Alliance over a mechanical failure he still wasn't sure happened, would the world have been spared it's fate? Could the Light have done it's work to stop the ritual the Maw enacted to destroy Exegol completely?

"It was not an action that should have been taken if there was any other option. But for the war to continue, for the lives that would've been lost if the wall hadn't been created and we won Exegol through their sacrifice, how many more would have died? I truly can't think of another path that wouldn't have resulted in more of our people dying. There were so many that shouldn't have been there, or in any of these wars. But our Padawan's are always eager to help this galaxy, aren't they?"

A genuine sadness had overtaken his expression at this point. If he had acted sooner, if he had made sure Kyrel Ren was taken down instead of trying to free his people, how many more lives could have been saved?

Would Calix not have died as he had?

".. To question the Order, to question what we do, there is nothing more important than to wonder if we could have done something different. There is nothing more important than to make sure we, as Jedi, do better. Never feel like you have to justify yourself for questioning what anyone in the Order does. I want to hear more. I want the Jedi we fight and live alongside to feel they have a voice. So tell me more. Help me to figure out if I am wrong, and that there was another path we hadn't seen so if this happens again, we can choose differently."

Caedyn Arenais

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

Exegol is gone, because the Sith had been given the room to bring about the destruction of their own world rather than let it be healed when the battle was done.

"The Sith are responsible for Exegol's destruction?" Caedyn asked, speaking rhetorically as he repeated what Kahlil Noble had already, clearly told him. "As you can imagine, this was part of what's been troubling me" he added while staring out at the blurred lines of stars that shot passed the vessel with phenomenal speed; "Is this information available to the public?" he asked, wondering if these weren't details privy to the Council of the New Jedi Order.

"It was not an action that should have been taken if there was any other option. But for the war to continue, for the lives that would've been lost if the wall hadn't been created and we won Exegol through their sacrifice, how many more would have died?

"I'm not questioning the necessity of it, I realize it was a means to an end. I was on the surface at the time, and we would have been overrun without it" Caedyn repeated his earlier sentiment, spoken when they had first bumped into each other within the Temple Halls. "More would have died in this war between the Alliance and the Brotherhood of the Maw, this is true" He assured Kahlil Noble that he did still believe it had been 'a necessary evil'. "The Order of the Silver Jedi have also used such power for similar reasons, and I don't doubt there will be others ahead of time"; Caedyn still remembered the controversy surrounding the Silver Jedi during their implementation of the Wall of Light, set some time before the war with the Mandalorians, but he was a child and this was during his fathers years of service.

There were so many that shouldn't have been there, or in any of these wars. But our Padawan's are always eager to help this galaxy, aren't they?"

"Far too eager," Caedyn remarked honestly. Kahlil had raised a concern about the Jedi Knights that had been on his mind long before the battle of Exegol. He hadn't meant to speak the words out loud, but they had come with little consideration to how they might be taken. Turning to glance towards the Jedi Master, Caedyn pursed one side of his lips in a subconscious habit whilst considering how he might explain himself. "Our students are forced to grow up so quickly, even without war at our doorstep. An assignment patrolling the streets of Coruscant can lead to the death of a Padawan if they aren't careful and alert, yet a battlefield increases that risk to such a greater degree...-Yet I have heard students speak of participation in war as though it's something to be admired".

"Asaara tells me that I'm being over-protective," Caedyn remarked, shaking his head as he turned his gaze back to the star lines; "Perhaps I am," he said with a voice of finality. "I don't know if I'm right...-I certainly don't have answers to a degree that would satisfy my concerns, let alone guide an Order without flaw" he informed the Jedi Master, wanting to make it known that Caedyn wasn't trying to question such things out of any sense of self-righteousness or arrogance. Caedyn often questioned his own actions, arguably more so than anything or anyone else. "But I would like to see less glorification of the act of violence within our student numbers. More encouragement towards the lightsaber being a last resort, not the first" he spoke as the thought came to him. War was hell.

".. To question the Order, to question what we do, there is nothing more important than to wonder if we could have done something different. There is nothing more important than to make sure we, as Jedi, do better. Never feel like you have to justify yourself for questioning what anyone in the Order does. I want to hear more. I want the Jedi we fight and live alongside to feel they have a voice. So tell me more. Help me to figure out if I am wrong, and that there was another path we hadn't seen so if this happens again, we can choose differently."

"I do appreciate the opportunity to speak my mind, Master Noble" Caedyn glanced back to Kahlil, "Thank you" he concluded with sincere appreciation. "I don't have my father's wisdom or experience, but being able to ask such things and know that I am being heard, and understood, from one free of bias or misinterpretation is truly something I value". Kahlil had made it clear already that he could speak freely, but to know that his words wouldn't be taken as a voice of defiance or insubordination was certainly a relief.

It wasn't that he enjoyed questioning everything, nor had anyone else given him the impression that it was inherently wrong, but rather his mind conflicted with his heart during such times. He had always done his utmost to serve faithfully, and dutifully and to carry integrity within all that he sought to accomplish as a Jedi; So questioning their way, could oftentimes feel traitorous to a point. These were however his flaws, his habit of doubting himself, being hard on himself and allowing his feelings or anxieties to cloud his judgement. Flaws that he himself was trying to work on, and had been doing for some years now.

The path of learning did not simply stop at the end of one's apprenticeship.

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"I hope you realize we're about the same age. We both can use as much wisdom as we can get."

He chuckled a little as he leaned back in his seat. Closed his eyes, just for a moment. Over protectiveness. He'd been keeping a more hands off approach with his own Padawans to let them grow and learn on their own, but perhaps it wasn't the best idea? Something was happening with Capris Halcyon , that much he did know. He'd have to talk to her about it, and soon, so she didn't feel alone. Hopefully she didn't.

"It will be a difficult time for them. War leaves it's scars. .. I'm not even sure where to begin trying to help my own Padawan's, let alone all of our order. And it's not just the Padawans that need help."

Caedyn Arenais

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"Truth be told, it's difficult to tell" Caedyn smiled, speaking honestly. "As a Jedi Master and a member of the High Council, I had assumed you were older" Caedyn glanced across to Kahlil Noble with a soft chuckle. It wasn't a habit of his to question another's age or compare years of service, however now that Kahlil had pointed it out, it was indeed interesting to note. Especially given Kahlil's history with Caedyn's father Veiere Arenais.

"It will be a difficult time for them. War leaves it's scars. .. I'm not even sure where to begin trying to help my own Padawan's, let alone all of our order. And it's not just the Padawans that need help."

"I worry for my Padawan, also" Caedyn admitted; "You may be familiar with her, Ariana Du Couteau ?" he asked out of curiosity. "She has a brilliant mind, she's independent and doesn't seem to show any of my own struggles which I'm thankful for, but I'm not certain how the war has affected her. Her apprenticeship under me is still relatively fresh and we're in that period of learning to know and trust in one another. The conflict has slowed things a bit more than I'd have liked" he explained.

Caedyn was impressed with Ariana's resilience and attention to detail, her enthusiasm towards her training and overall path; Yet he also looked forward to a time when they could have more personal conversations. Where they would become familiar with each other and the formal structure of their apprenticeship begin to fall away. Essentially moving away from the dynamic of teacher and student, and seeing evidence of a more casual demeanour and friendship.

"Admittedly, it's difficult to gauge what intensity of training I should be leading her into in these early days where participation in the war effort has obviously already forced her to experience such a wealth of adversity" Caedyn added, "Ideally, I would have liked to ease her into her training step by step, but her resilience is certainly something I've come to admire".

 

[Kahlil Noble]

"I haven't spoken with her directly, but I hear good things. The learning phase, though, that's always awkward. I'm still trying to figure out how best to talk with my own Padawans. Rhemti Totriddiam and Capris Halcyon , if you've possibly met them." It certainly wasn't usual to have multiple, but the New Jedi Order had proven to be anything but usual these days. His expression softened, though. Turned to a frown.

"It's.. Difficult. In our time, there were so many threats. There still are. The Sith aren't a Myth like in the High Republic so long ago. Nor are they defeated. The Maw is gone, but another Order already carves their path though the Outer Rim. I want to ease them into having to deal with anything remotely dangerous, and yet, I want them to be prepared when danger certainly finds them. The balance there, I still haven't figured it out."

Caedyn Arenais