From Jones to Bones (Ask)

[Old Man Jones]

[member="Alexandra Imura"]


I was havin the time of my life, and that counted for a lot when a 73 year old man says it. It had been a month since the senior home had given up trying to keep me under control. i must have snuck out every day for six months before they got tired of apprehending me. Eventually, they decided that they couldn't take pity on a poor old blind man and threw me out on the streets, thinking it would be the last they ever saw of me. They were wrong.

Nothing terrifies the public like a dumb, crazy, blind, old man off his medication, and I soon made a name for myself as one of the top public enemies on Nar Shaddaa. Despite being blind, I can drive pretty well. The only issue is, people keep putting obstacles in my way, such as buildings. I must have crashed into the senior home three times in the week after they let me out. Apparently I still had a license, so they revoked it. That didn't stop me from jacking cars though.

The particular vehicle I was in was purring along nice and smooth as I swerved through the streets. Not being able to see is definitely an impairment on one's driving abilities, but I can drive just fine. So what if I hit a couple people? Being run over by me is the closest to an honorable death as any of these people are gonna get. I think I hit two babies on the way here. Wherever here was. I zoom through what seems to be an intersection, based off of the loud honking I receive as I zoom through. I hear the sound of an explosion behind me and smell burning fuel as I continue to drive on.

I veer to the left, the path to the local supermarket etched in my brain. I turn down a small alley, the hovercar taking up almost the whole width of it. As I drive on, I hear someone barely jumpin out of the way as I continue to head towards the supermarket. I hope it was somebody important I almost ran over.

 

[Garik Reed]

Alex's gut twisted, and she heard the rumble of an engine. She ducked down, rolling out of the way, and the speeder flew right past her. She didn't get a good look at the driver, but she watched as the speeder flew off into the distance. "I never should have come to this stink hole of a planet!" Alex briskly walked after the speeder, yelling at a bystander as she left the alley. Her yellow eyes looked around, and she saw two men talking next to a speeder not unlike the one she'd almost been run over with. As she walked over and climbed into the speeder, one of the men began to protest. Alex lashed out with her heel, striking the mans chest. He stumbled back and gasped for air as Alex turned the speeder on, and gunned it, heading right behind the wacky old man.

[member="Old Man Jones"]

 

[Old Man Jones]

Much to my dismay, something was in the way of the place I usually park. Maybe a wheelchair. Maybe a car. Anyway, being the reasonable man I am, I decided to try to ram into the car until it moved. I heard some screaming and shouting, but I didn't care. People could mad at me all they wanted, I was parking there. It had my name written all over the space. Why someone thought they could park in my space, I will never know.


Anyway, I continued to ram into whatever was in front of me. My vehicle was getting pretty beat up, but then again it wasn't mine. People always seem surprised when a blind man knows how to jack cars, but people don't mess with me after getting an ass-whooping on the short end of my walking cane.

Finally, I manage to shove the other hovercar out of the way and kill the engine, settling down and hopping out of the car. Immediately, I come face to face with someone with poor dental hygiene. Their mouth smelled like rotting bantha meat, and having eaten that for dinner only a week before, I would know what that smells like. They seem keen on having me pay for the damages. However, I want my prunes, and ain't nobody getting in the way of my prunes.

Quickly, I whip my walking stick around, hoping to catch them. I hear a grunt of pain and the sound of a body hitting the pavement. I smile widely, my four teeth showing their beauty to the world as I walk away from my victim, intent on getting my prunes.



[member="Alexandra Imura"]