Private Flashbacks

[Varin Mortifer]

“Weak…To think that I had wasted that ritual on you…A mistake that I should have rectified.”

Varin's heartbeat echoed through his body. Slow, calm, quiet. The thrum setting a pace of peaceful rest. Until that dreadful voice struck his ears. Each passing word caused his heart to race.

Where…where am I?

Beep

I remember Brosi.

The flash of the battle stained his memory.

Beep

I remember a fight.

A saber clash echoed through his subconscious.

Beep, Beep

I remember flame, smoke and heat.

The roar of a flame seared into his flesh.

Beep, Beep, Beep.

Control! I must…maintain control!

A thunder clap and a searing sensation crawled up his throat.

Beep, Beep, Beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep

The machines watching his vitals began to elevate in a crescendo as his body began to convulse in the bacta tank.

A final memory returns to him. His sister walking through flame towards him, her hand outstretched as if trying to pull him out. His arms are bound, locked in place by straps.

Around his tank medical droids began stumbling around to find ways to calm the young apprentice, as the liquid began to bubble.

“Release…..me…”

He pulls on his restraints as the tank begins to reach upper temperatures.

“Release me!”

His eyes open darting around the room at all the unfamiliar faces as his straps begin to give away inside the tank. A quick snap and the straps sunk to the bottom of the tank. Lifting his fist he began to drive it into the tank.

“Find Lady Revna now! This one's going to shatter the tank!”

The med staff barked the order to one of the medical droids who acted quickly flying towards the doors in search of the apprentice master. All the while the medical staff began working on a sedative.

“Get ready to open the tank!”

A second command barked from the same member of the medical staff. All while the liquid seemed to start to boil.

Revna Marr​

 

[Revna Marr]

In the days - and nights - following the victory in the Holy Worlds were long. In the immediate aftermath, Revna had helped attend to the Empress, ensuring she had a comfortable place to rest and recover upon Korriban, before aiding Darth Caedes in taking assessments of the damage done to their people and to Korriban. Losses had been minimal, the damage too. The fight with the Imperials had been fast, brutal…but relatively clean. It left her uneasy, her eyes lingering on the skies to see if they would reappear. So far, they hadn’t.

Beyond ensuring that Caedes and Srina, even Gerwald, were well enough, the young Sith woman set out to check in with others she was close with - Darth Strosius being the next. He’d been in a brutal fight, and His armor and weapon bore the signs of that struggle - but He at least seemed relatively whole, no doubt that was due in part to His Sangnir nature healing His wounds almost as fast as He gained them. He seemed to be in a foul mood when she checked in on Him, but she hoped that in seeing His daughter alive and in one piece, it would help Him settle some of those rankled nerves.

She then moved on to her two Apprentices - Lysander and Varin, and very quickly discovered that Varin was the more seriously injured of the two. He was unconscious and being given medical care when she found him. She extended her gratitude to the young Zabrak warrior who had pulled him off of Brosi, before attending to her wounded Apprentice.

Varin was submerged in a bacta tank, and Revna waited for news whenever he would come awake again. In a way, it reminded her of the first time she had found him on Korriban, and like then she gave strict instructions that should anything go wrong or happen, she was to be informed immediately.

The young man may have seemed in a state of peace while in the healing solution, but she knew that looks could be deceiving, especially with him. And sure enough, several days into his soak, and while she had taken a moment away to see to other matters - news reached her that she was needed immediately in his recovery suite.

Revna moved swiftly, and even before she reached his room she could feel the churning of the dark side. He was disturbed, and volatile. Medical droids and other staff were trying desperately to sedate him as the bacta in his tank began to bubble in earnest, reaching the point just before boiling. The liquid was beginning to alter from the heat, and Revna knew that if he didn’t come down from his heightened state, then the tank would shatter and not only injure him further, but those around him.

She took a quick assessment of the room, then moved in with authority.

“Don’t bother sedating him. He will just burn it out of his system. Leave him to me.” she said as she stepped towards the tank, the vitals and other monitors going off the charts nearby. Someone tried to stop her but a quick glance froze the young woman in her place. “All you go, except for a medical droid.”

To her relief, Revna was obeyed by the medical staff who left a single droid behind - which stood by and awaited further orders.

Revna turned her attention to the near boiling tank and she let her presence flow out from her to envelope the tank and seep into the young Sith Apprentice contained within. Her eyes half-way closed as she concentrated, and brushed her mind against his own and let her voice flow into his mind - a cold breeze against the heat of the memories that burned within his subconscious, calming…soothing, even.

-Varin, I am here with you. You did well…and I’m proud of you-

Varin Mortifer ​

 

[Varin Mortifer]

His eyes began to flare as he looked around to the scrambling medics. It wasn't until he saw a very familiar shadow that his temperament began to change. A cool breeze wrapped around his mind almost like a cradle, a soothing embrace of sorts. The familiar shadow began to take shape as her words began to pierce the battlefield of his mind that hadn't quite come home yet.

-Varin, I am here with you. You did well…and I’m proud of you-

The voice was calm, collected, even gentle. The words carried weight to them, enough weight to stun the incoming rampage of a Sith apprentice who to him had just recently drank the blood of war.

He stared down at her as his hand gently placed itself on the glass tank. Images almost presented to Lady Revna's mind. His memories of his battle and the eventual failure of killing his opponent.

“She escaped master… I almost had her and she escaped. How could you be proud of a subpar and sloppy job?”

The bubbling tank began to lull to a simmer. He presented her the memory of his wounded arm.

“I was careless, it won't happen again.”

He looked down at his arm, though the tank had healed it with some scarring, all Varin could see was the blackened cooked flesh of his prior mistake that still burned down to the marrow.

“It burns master. Why isn't it healed?”

He clenched his fist as the burning sensation traveled from his palm to his shoulder. His raspy inhale rattled his chest as he tasted the smoke from his throat.

"It burns to move, to breathe. Why?"

Revna Marr​

 

[Revna Marr]

Despite the scene before her, Revna remained steadfast and calm, waiting for Varin to recognize and acknowledge her presence. Her words into his mind seemed to have the desired effect, bringing his attention to her, something he knew that he could focus on instead of whatever was tormenting his mind. One of his hands reached up to touch the glass, as through the mental bridge she saw glimpses of what he was seeing: flashes of the battle on Brosi, his fight with some sort of Force user that fought on the Imperial side, a foe that her Disciple had failed to kill.

With the images came his voice, asking her how she could be proud of him for what he called a subpar and sloppy job. A faint half smile tugged at one side of her lips, her eyes glimmering as she stood opposite to him.

-Yes, she escaped. I am not displeased by that fact. Not every fight can be won, Apprentice. It is sometimes more wise to step away, and live to fight another day. Greater lessons can be learned from a loss, than from a victory- She pressed into Varin’s mind in response to his words.

Next, another image from him flickered within her mind - how he had sustained his wound. He said that he had been careless, that it wouldn’t happen again. -Every wound you survive is a lesson you learn. A warrior who doesn’t have scars, is one who has not seen true battle-

He seemed to glance down at the arm that bore the scars of a grievous burn he had sustained. The bacta had helped heal the majority of it…but a scar still remained behind. His words that came to her next, however, made her realize that he hadn’t quite pulled himself from the memories of his fight. He was still feeling the pain of the moment.

Revna tilted her head and caught his eyes with her own. -You are feeling the remnants of the past, Varin. You are healed of your injuries, have been in a healing tank for a week now. Your arm bears a scar, but the flesh is healed. Same with the rest of your body.-

To combat the memories that he was still struggling with, Revna brought her own hand up to press against the glass directly opposite to his own hand and closed her eyes. She allowed images of both of them working in her courtyard garden within the Palace of Vardin to flow into his mind, something else to break the cycle that his mind was trapped in.

Varin Mortifer ​

 

[Varin Mortifer]

Her words drip fed into his mind. A very difficult realisation for him to grasp. Much like a dying body hooked to an I.V. for sustenance or for hydration. But the reality he just could not accept, he could see the wound was still fresh. Feel its burn and sting.

That was until he was brought into a new memory. One of quiet and peace. A beautiful garden surrounded the both of them. Something clicked within him when he noticed a specific flower. A blood red stem adorned in a gilded bulb surrounded by golden petals. A rare flower from the past of Korriban, and a deep favorite of his.

“Master…did you know that every descendant of my blood were gardeners?”

He paused to appraise and adore the little plant as he gently placed his fingers on the petals, running it down to the stem just barely cutting the tip of his finger on its thorns.

“My grandfather told all of us it was best to be a warrior in a garden, than a gardener in a war.”

He pulled his hand back and gazed upon the garden.

“To understand that it's always easy to take lives. But to successfully raise life to prosper, that was a true gift. Though we were also to understand that from life comes death.”

The memories of Brosi slowly faded into obscurity as he gazed upon the beautiful sight before him.

“I witnessed so much pain and death during the battle that it consumed me. Drove me. I so badly wanted to tear anything and anyone near me limb from limb, but something…..someone stopped me. For the first time in my life I felt…”

He paused for a moment trying to find the right word. After a good moment he let out a deep long sigh.

“I felt at war with myself. I wanted to kill anything around me, but I also didn’t want to. There were allies around me as well as enemies. Before I could start butchering any allies coming near me I saw her.”

He turned to look at his master with a grim look in his eyes.

“I saw Nier, in the flames. As if she were trying to stop me. She looked….frightened of me. Of her own flesh and blood.”

He fell silent as his gaze fell upon the ground.

“But the starving creature in me couldn’t stop until I saw that. What am I to do if I can't control that around my allies? Those who I would call friends or family? I don’t think I could bear the weight of killing anyone close to me.”

Revna Marr​

 

[Revna Marr]

Revna listened as Varin spoke; he asked her if she knew that every descendant in his family had been gardeners.

-I did not, no- She responded back, her voice somewhat distorted as if it were underwater. In the vision, he held the stem of a blood red flower that had once been native to Korriban. The Sith woman remained quiet as he continued, stating a lesson or perhaps words of wisdom that his grandfather had passed to him. A faint smile curled at her lips; she agreed with what his grandfather had stated. Truthfully it was something that could be stated for anything.

The more Varin talked, the more she could feel him coming back to her, coming out of the haze that was left from the battle on Brosi. She didn’t push him, didn’t harass him; this was a delicate moment, and she was to be his guide, not his tormentor.

Her Disciple confessed how the battle had affected him, how witnessing such pain and death had driven him, almost beyond the point of control. He told her how he had desired to rip and destroy everything around him, and yet something or someone had stopped him. He admitted how he had felt at war with himself - he wanted to destroy and yet he didn’t want to, for he would have targeted his allies as well as his enemies. He told her that he had seen her, and she knew an instant before he spoke her name just who he had seen.

His sister, Nier.

Though Revna’s heart ached at what he told her, she kept her emotions hidden from him - her features neutral and inscrutable.

“But the starving creature in me couldn’t stop until I saw that. What am I to do if I can't control that around my allies? Those who I would call friends or family? I don’t think I could bear the weight of killing anyone close to me.”

The Vahla woman was silent for a long time, as if she was pondering everything he had told her. She was, and she was forming her thoughts on how best to respond to him. Her Apprentice was fractured, broken, hurting…there was something he needed help with, and she wasn’t sure if she could help him with it. That in and of itself was a bitter pill to swallow; she was the Master, he was relying on her to teach and guide him.

What was she to do, if she couldn’t help him with something? If she couldn’t be the guide he needed?

A thought, or more correctly a face, came into her mind. A figure, a presence she knew, had spoken to before - someone who she respected, more than most other Sith. The Dread Wolf, the Executioner of the Emperor, Gerwald Lechner. He had learned how to tame his inner beast, had found a way to live in perfect synchrony with it. Neither denying it, nor allowing it to rule over him. Revna had a feeling that Lord Lechner may be the only individual who could help Varin with his own inner beast.

-I wish that I had an answer for this. That I could help you conquer this…but I cannot, not directly anyway. However, there is someone I know, someone who I believe could be of benefit to you with this. If you are open to it, and he is willing to aid you, I could set a meeting. The choice is yours, my Disciple-

Varin Mortifer​

 

[Varin Mortifer]

Varin paused as he gazed at the garden then back to his master.

“Is my case really that severe? That it warrants another master of its craft?”

He paused as he thought.

“I suppose finding someone with more experience in the matter would certainly benefit the both of us. Who would this master of such craft be? A great warrior? Perhaps a ruler?”

The questions began to excite him to the point he had to take a breath. The tug of war between letting go and keeping hold was beginning to flare once again, he looked at the garden once again. The only thing really keeping the feeling at bay was that he did not want to ruin such a beautiful landscape.

He sighed as relief swept over him, the feeling of excitement and urge to fight was finally dying down more.

“I would be honored to be under this being’s tutelage. What is their name?”

Revna Marr​

 

[Revna Marr]

Revna retained her silence, even as Varin asked her if his case was severe enough to warrant the guidance of another. Truthfully, she didn’t like the idea of having to find someone who could help him with his predicament. She was his Master, she should be the one to guide him. But she also had to be real with herself and know where her limits were. Pride on her behalf would not help her Apprentice at all; it would only harm and hinder him.

“I suppose finding someone with more experience in the matter would certainly benefit the both of us. Who would this master of such craft be? A great warrior? Perhaps a ruler?”

A smile pulled at the corners of Revna’s lips. -Yes…He is a great warrior indeed. One of the best I’ve had the honor of meeting and fighting alongside- She said in response as she sensed Varin’s growing excitement bloom through their shared mental space. She could feel his relief too, slowly easing away his urge to keep fighting.

“I would be honored to be under this being’s tutelage. What is their name?”

She chuckled, the sound of it soft against the quiet places of Varin’s mind. -Don’t get too excited. I need to actually make sure this individual is willing to help me, help you. His name is Gerwald Lechner ; he is the Emperor’s Executioner, and one of the ruling Dark Councilors-

No doubt, Lord Lechner would ask something of her in return, if he even agreed to help Varin tame his inner beast. But the Dread Wolf was the only one she could think of with the experience needed to help guide Varin forward in this. She was willing to pay whatever price, make whatever sacrifice was necessary or demanded of her - for she knew very well that nothing came free when one asked a favor of another Sith.

There was always a price to pay.

Varin Mortifer ​