Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Approved Species Flame Geist

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Intent: To create a species with only one member to serve as the basis for a character I am creating.

250px-Fire_whirl_%28FWS%29_crop.jpg

Image Credit: Wikipedia.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fire_whirl

Canon: No

Links: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Smoke_Demon

http://starwarsrp.net/topic/127825-consulars-steel/

http://starwarsrp.net/topic/131210-healers-chalice/

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Darkshear

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Sutta_Chwituskak

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Waves_of_darkness

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Nullification_resin

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Maser

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Charric

http://starwarsrp.net/topic/78810-mandalorian-steel/

GENERAL INFORMATION

Name: Flame Geist

Designation: Sentient

Homeworld: Unknown.

Language: Basic

Average Lifespan: 3000 yrs

Estimated Population: Unique

Description: In its etherial state, it resembles a bright, ever twisting flame that can travel through air unimpeded. In its condensed state, it resembles a woman with fiery orange hair and a bronze skin tone.

PHYSICAL INFORMATION

Breathes: Type 1 normally, Type 2 temporarily, (one hour at most)

Average height of adults: 5'9

Average length of adults: N/A

Skin color: Bronze toned (varies)

Hair color: Fiery Orange (varies)

Distinctions: As etherial flame, the geist is virtually powerless save for the extreme heat it generates. After gaining enough strength to take a physical form, it becomes able to use force powers and weapons, due to the strange and forbidden enchantments used by its creators that gives it an artificial (if moderate) connection to the Force while in corporeal form and is highly resistant to certain energy and kinetic based attacks. Its touch can burn, especially if the person who is touched is a dark adept due to the strange alkahest enchantments that hold its corporeal shell together. It can create and control flames, and in its etherial state can travel down pipes if there is enough oxygen. It moves very slowly and deliberately in human form, and needs fire to heal its corporeal shell. It also regularly needs to absorb heat sources while corporeal. As it is inherently an entity of the Force, it has the ability to use certain force abilities, but not all of them, and never to a masters level It can alter its corporeal shell's appearance to another humanoid form by completely submerging in flame. It bears distinct vulnerabilities when confronted with a lack of atmosphere, as it cannot sustain its corporeal form without an atmosphere, and if in a vacuum, has only ten minutes to find a heat source or it will permanently discorporate. Sharpened ice will cause its corporeal form to rupture and severely injure it, making it necessary to find a heat source to consume to heal.
Water is especially a touchy subject. Large amounts will break down its corporeal form, though without a heavy concentration of water afterward, such as from a high pressure hose, water by itself, even heavy rainfall, will never be enough to kill it, though it will prevent it from creating a new body for as long as such conditions are present. It has an instinctual distaste and desire to kill Dark Siders.

Races: None

Strengths:

Electrical Resistance: Its corporeal and energy form is highly resistant to electrical attacks. Only the very strongest currents have a chance of breaking it down. It even has minor resistance to basic, pistol strength blasters but those can still damage it also. Standard blaster rifles and lightsabers can easily break down its shell.

Conditionally resistant to direct telekinetic damage: Because magic enchantment are what sustains its physical form, and also because it lacks a skeleton and internal organs, Force Pushes and Force Bursts will only knock it back, but do no real injuries., as the enchantments holding the shell provide a mild protection against basic telekinetic attacks. This changes once incorporeal. Sustained attacks like Force Choke will not harm it in its incoporeal form, but Force pushes will now disperse the flame somewhat, wounding it badly and forcing it to retreat. Force Choke however, will harm it in its corporeal state, and badly drain its ability to sustain its psychic shell. Crush will not only destroy its physical form, it will leave it unable to make a new one for two minutes after. Spear of Midnight Black will cause rapid breakdown of its corporeal form unless it can find a heat source. Waves will badly damage both its incorporeal and corporeal form, necessitating immediate heat sources to survive.

Highly Resistant to Pyrokinetic Control: Pyrokinetic specialists who think they have an advantage should think again. The Flame Geist, while still being composed of fire, cannot be directed or controlled in its etherial state unless facing a Pyrokineticist of extreme strength and willpower. It flat out can't be controlled by them while corporeal. And any flames generated by it also have the same problem attached to it.

Sorceries: It has a high aptitude for magic due to its lack of many core force abilities. It uses many flame based spells, which it learns even easier than others.

Master of Flames: Fire is subject to its control. It can generate, control and sustain it easily through will power alone. It can even attempt to seize control of the flames generated by a lesser pyrokinetic.


Flame Mending: A species specific ability, caused and sustained by the strange enchantments used to sustain its corporeal shell. Flame mending means if its corporeal form suffers heavy damage, it can regenerate the damaged parts of its psychic shell by submerging it in flame.

High resistance to disease and poison: As it is composed of fire and psychic energy, Disease and Poison cannot affect it normally. But Sith alchemized poisons and disease, will cause it considerable pain, and disrupt its ability to call on any abiliies at all, leaving it easily dispatched.

Shapeshifter: It can customize its corporeal form to any humanoid appearance it desires, but to change the appearance after creation, it must fully submerge into flame for five minutes, and disrupting the process would injure it. The change is only skin deep and affects nothing once complete.

Weaknesses:

Cryo-Vulnerable: Naturally. Slug thrower rounds filled with cryonic fluid would badly disrupt its focus and ability to sustain its form. A chunk of sharp ice shoved deep enough would rupture its corporeal state, driving it back into a state of fire where it could easily be dealt with if one was prepared. Cryokinetic force Adepts are a deadly to it, especially if the adept in question is highly skilled.

Slugthrower vulnerability: Average Slug throwers tear through its psychic shell rapidly.

Etherial Helplessness: While in flame state it is relatively slow moving and beyond the heat it generates cannot attack or defend itself unless it gets creative with its own nature. As it takes a few minutes of concentration to create a new body, as well as requiring large amounts of flame to do so (though it should be noted it can create that easily if there is enough flammable material) this is the state where it is most vulnerable, and thus, the most easily dispatched

Void-vulnerable: Entering a Force Dead area traps it in its etherial form, severely exhausting it and rendering it unable to recover for an hour afterward.

Consumption: The hotter its flames become to overcome an opponent, the more it has to feed on a heat source immediately afterward, or its body will discorporate back into flame.

What health plan: Exposure to fire is the only way to repair its corporeal form. If a limb is lost or a wound too large, the corporeal body will break down on its own without flames. There is no other wayvto heal it, with or without a body.

Water: Heavy amounts of water on its corporeal form disrupt its ability to focus its powers, rendering it stiff and sluggish. Heavy amounts of steam will cause its body to break down in minutes and is lethal to its etherial form if it stays in a steamed area for more than a few minutes after discorporation. Even something as simple as a high pressure hose like the sort used by fire fighters is dangerous and deadly to it in the right circumstances. Even a garden hose would do heavy damage.

High vulnerability to Charrics: Maser weapons seem to be the only energy weapon that is truly deadly to it. Even a glancing blow will cause nearly in capacitating pain, if not discorporate it completely. A shot would react violently with its etherial state, causing near total exhaustion of its flames, and the next one would surely kill.

Discorporation means abandonment: Should its corporeal body be destroyed, it would be forced to leave behind any weapons or equipment it was carrying. Any clothing would also be destroyed in the process of the entity becoming pure fire once more or abandoned as well, leaving it unarmed and unequipped the next time it forms a body.

Requires special clothing: Due to its fiery nature, what clothing it wears must be fire proof in the extreme.

Resin Vulnerability: Exposure to a large, fist sized chunk of Nullification Resin via direct skin contact would instantly discorporate it, and draw its essence into the resin, where it would be trapped in a state of suspended animation until the chunk was shattered.

Vulnerable To Magic: As it is solely created through magic it bears a significant vulnerability to Nightsister magic and Sith Sorcery. The Sorcery technique Waves of Darkness will completely suppress its ability to create flame, While Bolt of Hatred can completely destroy its corporeal form, and render it unable to create a new one for ten minutes after, leaving it easily dispatched.

Force Power Limits: Beyond Core abilities like Sense, Phase, Flight, Telekinesis, Flame Mending and Pyrokinesis, it cannot access any other Force Powers and must rely on spells to compensate. And even then it will never master any core Force power, as its limits were set in as a safety measure through enchantment.

Sonic Vulnerability: Sonic weapons disrupt its ability to use pyrokinesis and causes its corporeal form intense, nearly incapacitating pain, leaving it easily dispatched.

Dark Infusion: Objects like sith amulets, scrolls and books, if pressed to its shell, would cause it intense pain and leave it unable to use either the Force or pyrokinesis for a limited time after, about three minutes

Metals vulnerability: The Flame Geist, as a side effect of the enchantments used to create it, is uniquely vulnerable to specific, lightsaber resistant metals. For example, if Mandalorian Steel is used to impale it, it will undergo rapid and eventual total paralysis in a total of fifteen seconds. This is because of the specific combination of materials used to create Mandalorian Steel. While it is meant to mimic Bes'Kar, albeit weakly, The actual Bes'Kar does not have the same combination of materials that give Mandalorian Steel its paralytic effect. P hrik is far more deadly. As a metal, phrik reacts violently for some reason with its corporeal form, breaking it down rapidly to the point of discorporation...and continuing to break down its etherial form after contact. If it does not find a heat source within minutes after discorporation to heal itself, it will die...corporeal or not, as the effect after exposure carries on to both forms. However, If exposed to phrik while already etherial, there will be no reaction...the phrik must hit the corporeal form first to have the desired effect.


CULTURE

Diet: Flames, Heat, Atmosphere. Water is the closest to what would count as a poisonous substance to it.

Communication: Speaks Basic, Huttese, understands Mandoa, and the Sith Language, but cannot speak them

Technology level: Current Standard

Religion/Beliefs: This Singular entity favors light sided philosophy, but is not afraid of taking aggressive, proactive measures to protect others from the Dark Side, and has an instinctual distaste towards dark adepts. It tends to favor the Living Force, given its nature. It has a chip on its shoulder regarding the Jedi, but will tolerate their presence, if grudgingly.

General behavior:

It has a full range of emotions like any being, but as it was created as a weapon against the Dark Side, its not truly focused on things like forming a family, and its emotions in that respect are muted somewhat. What aggressive emotions it does possess are devoted towards fighting Dark Siders. It would not be against the idea of adopting a child, but its nature would make raising one a problem. As for lovers, it prefers casual non-physical flirting, at best, as it was ultimately meant to be (And still is) a weapon.

It can invent things, pilot vessels, use weapons and invent, the same as any other species. It also never sleeps, as its made of fire, but it prefers the daytime...Witch craft is a special hobby it prefers, and it likes archeology.

HISTORICAL INFORMATION

Created by ancient Alkahest Specialists known as The Resistors of Darkness, the Flame Geist was at once their greatest triumph and the source of considerable controversy within the Jedi Order. Made by using strange alkahest spells created in a fit of revelatory insanity by the lead specialist, the creation of this entity was a feat in of itself, as it involved capturing a dangerous Sith Alchemist and forcing him to summon a Sith Smoke Demon in an enchanted circle specially prepared for it, once there, the enchantments, (which are currently believed to be lost) bizarre in their very nature, were enacted, twisting and altering the very nature of the summoned spirit so fundamentally, its very alignment in the Force was changed from Dark to Light, and it was granted sentience and its ability to assume a hard, corporeal form was increased to the point it could pass for a humanoid. The first Dark Adept to die was the one who had summoned it. The Resistors used the Flame Geist as a living weapon, as its natural advantages against an average Dark Adept's bread and butter strategies, and even some of the strategies of certain Force Hunters, made it very difficult to defeat using conventional methods. However many Jedi of old were appalled at its origins and perceived that the well meaning sect of abomination hunters had overstepped their bounds and ordered the living weapon to be sealed away in a fist sized chunk of nullification resin and hidden. The Geist felt deeply betrayed, as it had done only what it had been created to do and no more, feeling it was unjustly punished by shortsighted people, suffering in silence in the enforced alumber of the resin. The Resistors were eventually destroyed from within by a traitor, so all knowledge of its location, hidden away in a dank cave, is just waiting to be rediscovered...
 
There is a lot to go through here, so bare with me but here is the first things that shout out to me as needing adjusting:




Maple Harte said:
Image Credit: How to properly source your images

Adjust this, with either a image of your character and an image link appropriate or putting N/A



Maple Harte said:
Breathes: Any atmosphere
This will have to be adjusted to the suitable types of atmosphere, I recommend Type 1 and at a push Type 2, no sentient species can breathe all types of atmosphere.



Maple Harte said:
After gaining enough strength to take a physical form, it becomes able to use force powers
How is this possible? Does the physical form gain midicholorians? There needs to be a sensible explanation here on how a being that can be gaseous with no Force Powers can gain them while a physical being.



Maple Harte said:
especially if the person who is touched is a dark adept
How does is the burning selective like this?

Maple Harte said:
As it is partly created through magic

My interpretation is that this being was solely created though magic.



Maple Harte said:
This Singular entity favors light sided philosophy, but is not afraid of taking aggressive, proactive measures to protect others from the Dark Side, and has an instinctual distaste towards dark adepts
Which philosophy? Living Force or Universal Force?



Maple Harte said:
Because Atmosphere itself is what sustains its physical form, and also because it lacks a skeleton and internal organs, Force Choke by itself will not injure it nor cut off its air supply
This would not work, Force Choke works on beings like Vahla, who are made from flames in a physical body. I will accept that in its gaseous form, Force Choke would not be effective but in its physical form it would be.



Maple Harte said:
Similarly, Force Pushing it will have very little effect, even if its very strong.
Once again, I do not perceive the Force Push unable to have an affect. The push would disperse the gaseous form and would still impact the physical form.



Maple Harte said:
It can alter its corporeal shell's appearance by completely submerging in flame
Change it from what to what? Is this just looks and gender or something deeper?




Maple Harte said:
ancient Alkahest Specialists known as The Resistors of Darkness
Link to this if there is one or more information on these people please and their motives to creating your sub.



Maple Harte said:
As for lovers, it prefers casual flings, at best. Someone would have to be very special to get its notice.
How would it do this as a being that is unstable as a corporeal being.



Maple Harte said:
made it very difficult to defeat using conventional methods. However many Jedi of old were appalled at its origins and perceived that the well meaning sect of abomination hunters had overstepped their bounds and ordered the living weapon to be sealed away in a fist sized chunk of nullification resin and hidden.
How did this affect the Flame Geist?


This sub also does not have enough weaknesses that will kill this being, bar vacuum, this is not equal with races that are canon and other subs that are physical, sentient races. Please rethink this and add at least two other methods to kill the race. I also deem it having too many strengths that would potentially make the character overpowered, if you could tone them down that would be great.

[member="Maple Harte"]
 
[member="Yuroic Xeraic"], I altered and made multiple changes across submission based on your feedback, I 'think' I toned down its strengths and added more weaknesses. Added her thoughts on being betrayed and imprisoned. Added images and links that mentioned her creators elsewhere. If there is anything I missed, let me know.
 
[member="Maple Harte"]

Okay, this looks good to me, I would ask for a third lethal way to kill this. Vacuum is very niche way so anything a bit more standard be great.
 
[member="Maple Harte"]

Okay, let's dive in here.



Spear of Midnight Black
Let's add the link to this into the submission please.



Master of Flames: All fire is subject to its control. It can generate, control and sustain it easily through will power alone. It can even seize control of the flames generated by a lesser pyrokinetic without much effort.
Going to need this reworded. Right now it is far too absolute and ends up feeling like the potential to call hit, i.e. take control of someone else's powers (the generated flames). Make it this please:

Master of Flames: Fire is subject to its control. It can generate, control and sustain it easily through will power alone. It can even attempt to seize control of the flames generated by a lesser pyrokinetic.



Flame Mending: A species specific Force Power, Flame mending means if its corporeal form suffers heavy damage, it can regenerate the damaged parts of its psychic shell by submerging it in flame.
At this time, codex does not accept custom force powers. Reword this to make it simply a racial ability and not specifically a force power.



I'm not going to ask you to remove this- but I am going to tell you straight out that 'weaknesses' that are *normal* to the majority of living creatures do not count as weaknesses. If you put a human, a wookiee, a hutt, a zabrak, an ewok, etc etc etc into a vacuum they *die*. That is standard. In the future please keep in mind that sort of thing is not, and will never be, a viable weakness that is counted toward balance.



(Note: DO NOT use incendiary or explosive rounds: those will actually heal it!)
This does not match up with your fire healing strength above, where they must submerge in flames to heal. You may not put new strengths into the weaknesses section. Remove this. If you intend to include that it must go in strengths and may affect my balance judgement.



High vulnerability to Charrics: Maser weapons
Let's get a link to Maser weapons in the sub.



Resin Vulnerability: Exposure to a large, fist sized chunk of Nullification Resin
Ditto this.



Vulnerable To Magic: As it is solely created through magic it bears a significant vulnerability to Nightsister magic and Sith Sorcery. The Sorcery technique Waves of Darkness will completely suppress its ability to create flame, While Bolt of Hatred can completely destroy its corporeal form, and render it unable to create a new one for ten minutes after, leaving it easily dispatched.
And the powers here.



Euk'Gar'Gam vulnerability: If Mandalorian Steel is used to impale it, it will undergo rapid and eventual total paralysis in a total of fifteen seconds.

Phrik: As a metal, phrik reacts violently for some reason with its corporeal form, breaking it down rapidly to the point of discorporation...and continuing to break down its etherial form after contact. If it does not find a heat source within minutes after discorporation to heal itself, it will die...corporeal or not, as the effect after exposure carries on to both forms. However, If exposed to phrik while already etherial, there will be no reaction...the phrik must hit the corporeal form first to have the desired effect.
Need a link to Mando steel in the sub.

Real question- is it vulnerable to metals in general? Which is sort of what it sounds like in the phrik weakness. If that is not what you mean, you will want to reword that. Additionally, since Mando Steel is meant to mimic the crystalline structures of beskar, but is just weaker, would it be vulnerable to beskar as well?
 
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