Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Feedback For Carlyle Rausgeber

RIP Carlyle Rausgeber

"It's all been bloody marvellous..."
Carlyle Rausgeber is my first character on chaos, and one whom is beloved to me. I think I write him fairly well, but that could also be the Dunning Kruger effect in action.

After recently having dropped and found muse with Carlyle. I would like to hear any feedback you guys have for the man himself, and how I write him.
 

Tanomas Graf

Guest
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Anyway, I think Carlyle is doing great. I threaded with him a few times back in the First Order and the writing style was good.

[member="Carlyle Rausgeber"]
 
[member="Carlyle Rausgeber"]

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Maybe I am partial, but I like your writing style. You are easy to read, very literate and I think that you strike the nice balance between detail and simplicity. Carlyle is very human and I like reading his stuff. He is very believable and consistent without being bland or anything. I feel that he is pretty cool, and I look forward to writing with you in the future. Keep up the good work, comrade! :)
 

Connor Harrison

Guest
[member="Carlyle Rausgeber"] Who is Carlyle; Peter Capaldi or Christoph Waltz? I prefer Waltz.

Nice to see this sort of character on Chaos, a good and keen military mind and I look forward to seeing him expand and develop even further into more dastardly territory to really make a name for himself as a "villain".
 
Well, having done a good bit of time with you in the First Order, like [member="Tanomas Graf"] I have a few things to say,

This character is superb. The way you write military/fleeting is interesting yet simple in the way that I don't have to look up my military jingo every paragraph. It feels like one of the Original Trilogy episode scripts for Imperial personnel, its professional, and I understand it without a bat of the eye. Your dedication to being an Imperial Naval Officer is impeccable, I thought I could do it but I far pale in comparison to your style of being the on point model of an Imperial Fleeter.

A little note on the writer, you are one or were one when I was with the FO (Active that is) one of the, if not the, most active and helpful fleeters in our faction, whenever a dev was needed for the IFV, or any other branch, you were there posting, even if it is your third in a week. Every dominion and faction event that I can recall you were there, playing the part like a pro. You were also very fair in your writing, if you made a move that was too over the line, you made the fair concession (For instance Kaeshana) and played nicely as best you could.

To summarize, I have nothing but good words for you the writer, and your marvelous character, and I hope you do not follow in my fallacies and keep on fleeting, even if it isn't for the FO, you are a great part of the Chaos fleeting community (In my mind at least) and it would not be the same without you.

Good job, [member="Carlyle Rausgeber"].
 

RIP Carlyle Rausgeber

"It's all been bloody marvellous..."
Cheers for the feedback lads. I appreciate the commentary. I'm a personal firm believe in always reviewing your work in order to grab an idea as to how things have gone and how to improve.



Zeradias Mant said:
Any seriousness I read in his threads are quickly undermined by the silly avatars. Simple fix tho
To address this, Carlyle isn't a super serious character. I generally play him as either a pompous/General Melchett officer, or a Malcolm Tucker-esque savage, characters not built to be taken too seriously.



Connor Harrison said:
>villain

You give Carlyle way too much credit. He's just middle management.

Are there any improvements I could make to writing? Other than the one addressed.
 

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