Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Feedback: Alden Akaran

Alright, I guess it's that time again. If someone, or maybe multiple someones, would like to take the time to read and give me some feedback on how I am doing and what I can do better, that would be amazing. After all, I'm always looking for that next thing to make me into a better writer and help to make it so all my posts are enjoyable. Long story short, please give me some constructive feedback on what I can do to improve in my writing.

Sample 1 - Alden Akaran
Sample 2 - Tireya Syvare

And please don't be tentative to be honest in your feedback. If it's awful, tell me so, but please offer me a suggestion or two as to what I can do to improve so it's no longer terrible.
 
[member="Kaine Australis"], I've written Mandalorians for far too long. It was time for me to branch out away from the big 3 (Mandalorian, Sith, Jedi) and so I did. Love writing Alden, possibly more so at this point than I ever did writing any of my Mandalorians.
 

Elyscia Devaroiux

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[member="Alden Akaran"] you are a fantastic writer, I enjoyed the little samples you have there. Wonderful job.
:)
 

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