Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

 Feed me back

Kiara Ayres

Guest
K
This character has had probably one of the shortest tenures of any of my active characters because I made her for the purpose of IC faction leadership corresponding with OOC faction leadership while I was SJC's FO so I know she had a non-existent character arc because she only existed for like 4 months and mostly did PvP or political threads and I can't exactly improve on any constructive criticism for her as a character because she's dead...

buT that was my first time writing a diplomat/Jedi Master so if anyone has any suggestions or comments on how I could improve on or what they felt I did right in regards to that type of character or the types of threads she did then I can use it for my next diplomat/Jedi Master.

also feedback on pvp welcome or writing in general.
 
Kiara Ayres Ok more serious feedback, here I go:

  • You're a good writer lol
  • I did kinda get the impression that either you were new to writing this type of character, or that you were writing her to fill a role rather than writing a character because you thought a Jedi Master/diplomat would be cool and fun to write.
  • By that I mean now that Kiara is dead, there isn't a whole lot I can say that was particularly memorable about her. She was a lady who showed up and did her job and then left/died.
  • Diplomacy you did alright imo, although I don't have much to go off of aside from other Chaos writers. I've seen some really, really just terrible diplomacy here on Chaos. You've got like, people marching into the stronghold of another faction unannounced to demand that the people of that faction answer for things that they weren't even involved in IC. While you weren't dealing with the same kind of tense situations of last year, I never got the impression that you were having Kiara say or do things out of ignorance or confusion. She always seemed pretty well-informed about what was going on, as you would expect a leader to be, and acted accordingly with a degree of caution and sensitivity which was necessary. Therefore you rocked the diplomacy game baby.
  • Jedi Masters also tend to be hard to write because people seem to think they're just powerful zen monks that are past the point of being interesting or having any new directions where they could go. You kinda did fall into that category with Kiara. I remember thinking "this lady is basically Galadriel with a lightsaber isn't she?" and yeah. She's Galadriel with a lightsaber. Which is fine, but the slutty/working alcoholic meme version of Kiara that developed in the SJC Discord chat was more interesting to read about, y'know? Working alcoholic Kiara who was Sakadi's ex had an arc. Kinda.
  • Idk about PvP because I never fought her, unless you wanna have a go now mate?
 

Kiara Ayres

Guest
K
  • Thank you friend, right back at you
    uUZOwq4.png
  • Yeeeeah, I usually write Knights. I struggle to find a balance with Masters. If I did a diplomat again, it would probably be a lower-level character.
  • Can't say that's too surprising xD
  • Ty, ty. I tried not to be too wild.
  • Yeah, agreed. The OG Kiara was more balanced and was less combative bc she was a diplomat & researcher but when I put her in the position of Grandmaster then I was put into combat more and I had to up her lightsaber skills which had previously been sub-par. If I hadn't killed her off, could've rolled out the slutty/working alcoholic meme version. At one point there was a consideration for an arc but I basically just used her for threads that were either relevant to the faction or entertaining with no overall consideration. Rip Kiara's arc.
  • Catch me in the Nether, hun
Starlin Rand Starlin Rand
 
Kiara Ayres all I can offer about writing a master character is that the rank should never be the whole of what the character is. It’s a rank/level/position, but the character is so much more than that. Been writing Allyson a bit and she’s a master character- yet there are still so many things she learns as she goes.

Consider the rank as just that - a rank nothing more and nothing less.
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom