Private Fear Makes Companions of Us All

[Felix Faraday]

Garden Plaza - Outer District - Eshan
Iris Arani || @CLOSED

The sound of a small bell rung out as the door slip open and close behind Felix exiting a small flower shop. In the crook of one arm, the mercenary held a small pot full of flowers. Six petaled golden yellow flowers blooming in full and soaking up the rays of the mid-afternoon. Felix smiled and whispered to the pot.

"Don't worry. We're going to help you find your brothers and sisters."

Stepping down the steps of the small shop, each footstep along the street carried himself closer and closer to the garden plaza. A sprawling scene of greenery with trees and flowers as little paths carved their individual journeys across the landscape. His feet sunk into the path before taking more steps forward for a while before wandering off on his own. He knew the path he needed to take all too well to a secluded spot few ventured.

But his eyes spotted a familiar sight. A familiar face. One he couldn't forget even if he wanted to. After all, she helped save his life, right? Setting the pot down, his muscles pumped him forward as his breathing grew faster with each step propelling him faster and faster towards her.

Before sliding to a stop by her side.

"Breathe. What do you need?"

Peering at the woman before him with concern through those purple-tinted shades, Felix remained silent and still while he leaned forward and his brow furrowed, ready to help when and where he can.​

 

[Iris Arani]

It was supposed to be an easy process.

Makashi was all about form and repetition. She'd been slacking about it in college, but now that she had Domxite again to help keep her calm, she'd been working on getting used to wielding her saber. Go through the forms, remember the dance that it was. But Domxite wasn't here. And she'd tried to do it on her own with her other saber. The garden was peaceful here. No one around, no crazy colors.

She could handle this much, right?

She ignited her blade out of sight, started to move through the stances. Weaved her blade around, danced back and forth on the imaginary line all Makashi users followed. It was easy to fall back into the habit she'd long trained herself in under Valery Noble . It even brought a smile to her face, to feel so at ease with the blade in her hand. That was the thought that crossed the line, though. The colors around suddenly shifted from the peaceful greens and blues to red.

And only red. Panic gripped her heart as she stared at the bleeding saber now in her hands. The burning red blade had her voice caught in her throat. Then the screams. Panic, fear. Not from her, but from others. Imagination was a strong and powerful thing.

Especially when the Force whipped around and turned it into a vision.

The blade dropped from her grasp, the blue retreating back into it's hilt as she collapsed on herself. Gripped at her wrist as he breathed rapidly. Panic, pure and simple. Panic that was quick to turn into fear as a face was suddenly there. She blinked rapidly, half scrambling back as she reached for a weapon that wasn't there anymore.

"W.. What? I- Sunglasses? I-"

She couldn't keep calm. Couldn't keep her thoughts focused. There was just the screams. She hated the screams the most. She knew deep down they weren't real. The people she killed she'd done so quick and quiet. Why did it always feel like they were screaming?

"Fuck."

Felix Faraday

 

[Felix Faraday]

Garden Plaza - Outer District - Eshan
Iris Arani || @CLOSED

Watching the woman scuttle away, Felix's hands immediately raised up with palms facing towards her and open while crouching low to meet her eye level. He meant no harm, no threat to her, but she did not know that, did she?

"Whoa! Yeah. Sunglasses. Not here to hurt you," Felix paused, taking a breath, "I'm here to help."

A brief look to the side offered him a brief view of the lightsaber hilt. A Jedi. Or a more practiced force user at least. He doubted a Sith would so openly carry or practice with such a blade. Nor was there any yellow in her eyes. Not a darkness.

Simply fear. A panic attack. One he would help her work through if he could, if she would let him. His eyes fell downwards to see her gripping her wrist. Pulling off his glasses slowly, Felix folded them and held them in one hand.

"Breathe. Breathe with me," Felix began to breath in and out slowly to give her a routine to follow, "Breathe in. One, two, three, four, five."

Crouching down and taking a few steps closer, Felix chest kept rising and expanding before falling and sinking while gesturing with one hand to breathe in and out.

"Breathe out. One, two, three, four, five."

Routine. A mantra. Something she could focus on instead of what was happening inside her head. He shuffled closer before delicately putting his hands on her own. As soon as he did, electricity bolted from her to him. The spark of thoughts and feelings not his own. Her thoughts. Screams in the background of his mind. His eyes widened for moment. Fear and panic overtook him for a brief moment as his breathing hitched to a stop. Every instinct screaming at him as his perceptions received her own.

Focus.

Shaking his head for a moment with eyes closed, he wrestled back control immediately. There was no time for this except blocking it out. These were not his thoughts. Nor did he mean to . . . receive what she feeling and thinking, even if it was a glimpse. First time that ever happened to him. Not a lack of control over his own abilities.

But how meaningful her own fears and troubles were to cross that border, to overpower his own control.

"Hey, you're doing good. You can get through this."

Slowly and carefully, he meant to softly unwound her fingers from her wrist, uncurl those fingers a little at a time that had a stranglehold on herself. Working carefully, he repeated the mantra to her as breath entered in and out of him while allowing her to mirror his own rhythm of breathing.

Breathe in. One, two, three, four, five. Breathe out. One, two, three, four, five.

If he could get her hand free, soften her grip on herself, Felix's hands would slowly slide his glasses in her hands. She could hold onto those. Perhaps it would serve a better anchor than strangling the circulation from her wrist.

"Just focus on the present. You're here now. You're safe."​

 

[Iris Arani]

Breathe.

It was something she'd told others herself, but so easy to forget as she struggled to get it all under control. To get the colors back to what they truly were. Warm, calm. Breathe. Her fingers tightened in the dirt before she took a deeper breath. It took time, minutes, but eventually the calm returned. And the red her mind manifested around her faded back to the colors she wanted to see.

Peace.

".. Okay, I'm good."

Iris stood then, not even looking at Felix as she went to pick up the lightsaber and stash it away in the pack she carried with her.

".. Thanks."

Felix Faraday

 

[Felix Faraday]

Garden Plaza - Outer District - Eshan
Iris Arani || @CLOSED

With little warning other than her initial tension and subsequent relaxation of her muscles and hands, the woman stood up with little warning. Felix raised both hands as an awkward smile grew on his face. With bated breath, Felix simply observed. She had said she was good. How much of that was true? Her heartrate from here sounded slowed and her breathing was more normal.

But those were physical symptoms. Mentally, that might be an entirely different ball game. He wondered how persistent these anxiety attacks were. But only for a moment as a different thought entered his head as Iris picked up her lightsaber.

Did he overstep her boundaries by accident? And would she use that lightsaber to enact her terrible retribution? Okay, maybe he was being a little dramatic on the second part. The way she was not looking at him though . . . Was she embarrassed?

Upon hearing her thanks reach his ears, a quick sigh of relief left him. It seems he did not completely mess up his first impression. Or second impression, technically. The tension left his shoulders as his arms lowered down. That awkward smile fading away to a casual grin as he peered up at her, still sitting.

"Ah, don't mention it," Felix waved off her thanks and began to stand up, using one knee to support himself. Dusting his pants off, Felix put one hand on his waist as he smiled and tilted his head. "Besides, what are friends for?"

Felix took a few steps and leaned over into her field of view, carrying that same old grin. Settling those sunglasses right back onto his face, Felix's posture remained leaning to the side as he tilted his head to peer at Iris.

"I feel like I should ask you if you want to talk about what happened," Felix raised both palms up as if to tell her to wait a moment before she rebutted him. "But I understand not wanting to air your problems to a stranger. Although, you don't have much to lose if you did."

"So, how about introductions?" Felix gently waved with one hand.

"I'd at least like to know the name of the woman who helped save my life."

He never forgot the ones who were brave, who simply helped when it was needed.​

 

[Iris Arani]

"Friend, huh?"

She wasn't challenging the idea, more curious what it meant to him. They'd met twice that she could remember, though if they had more she wouldn't be able to say. Iris glanced back towards him. Not at him. Around him. She rarely ever looked directly at a person, preferring or just too used to reading the aura they left in the Force. He was genuine in wanting to help her. Weird. He was a stranger.

"Iris. Doctor. You're supposed to say your name first you know."

Felix Faraday

 

[Felix Faraday]

Garden Plaza - Outer District - Eshan
Iris Arani || @CLOSED

Felix's eyes began to follow Iris's for a moment. She was looking . . . around him? He patted his spikey hair a little and perhaps a little self-consciously as he did so. Was there something off about his appearance? Sure, it was a little different from most, but it was not too flashy. Well, besides the cybernetic arm but a lot of people had cybernetics.

Instead, he focused on her words. Felix grinned as he raised a finger up.

"I tried introducing myself before. I guess it didn't quite stick. Sunglasses, huh?"

Felix chuckled. He would not give her too much trouble for it. After all, the circumstances of their initial meeting were less than ideal for swapping names.

"Felix Faraday. Freelance." Felix casually offered his hand for her to shake . . . if she wanted to shake his hand. If not, he'd quickly shift his hand into a cool thumbs up. Everyone loved a cool thumbs up.

"You visit this garden often? I was surprised to see you again." Felix pointed a thumb over his shoulder at the potted plant he set down a little ways away behind him.

"I'm here to return a plant."

Because that would sound less weird than saying he was here to help it or find its siblings. But since when did he care about being a little weird or different? Right. He needed to be normal and not freak out the doctor lady who would think he's crazy if he said anything like that, even if she may be a Jedi.

Be normal. Don't be weird. Focus on helping her if you're able.​

 

[Iris Arani]

"Right."

He had, hadn't he? Iris frowned, glancing away from him in thought. Deep thought, at that. She didn't remember much. Just the violence. She frowned further, clutching the pack she had to her chest before closing her eyes.

"Plants don't have emotion. It's peaceful here because of it."

Her eyes opened, passively looking around him again before looking to the plant in his hands. And raised a brow.

"Why?"

Felix Faraday

 

[Felix Faraday]

Garden Plaza - Outer District - Eshan
Iris Arani || @CLOSED

Felix's expression soured a little and becoming more pensive as he watched Iris frown. Watching her become more tense as she held that pack and closing her eyes, Felix certainly felt he was perhaps unwanted. Maybe he should point her towards a center for therapy and leave. Iris might need someone with a better or more delicate approach than his. All these years of living and he still made such stupid mistakes.

Maybe he was more human than he thought he was.

His eyes lit up a little as she asked her question. But what would he say to not sound crazy?

"Well, I like-," Felix began before stuttering to a stop. A sigh escaped him as he lowered his head before peering up at Iris. He didn't want to lie to her or anyone for that matter. There had to be a reasonable way of explaining this, right?

"I'm guessing you're an empath of sorts, right? Well, I'm kind of like an empath for plants."

Felix nervously grinned, "I hope that doesn't sound too crazy. I'm just taking this little guy to other flowers like him in the park."

There. His intentions were out in the open. Now he had to hope he explained it in a non-crazy way.​

 

[Iris Arani]

"I see the world in colors, most of which don't even have a name and I doubt your eyes could see. I don't think you're crazy."

She shrugged nonchalantly. Had she read his mind? No. But she'd long learned how to read peoples emotions in such a way she could feel their intentions as if they were drawing them on her skin. Did it unnerve people? Constantly. Iris had never cared though, and she wasn't about to start now. She raised her more scarred hand, idly flexing the fingers. Most of her body was scar tissue at this point, long healed but still tough. Uncomfortable.

The burns were the worst, and the largest. Even as she flexed her fingers it still felt wrong. Or maybe that was the stress. The Jedi let out a sigh as she instead reached out with her other hand. It was no less mangled, looking chipped as if it'd been frozen and shattered. She was even missing her pinky on that had. The trust was a disruptor, but she didn't tend to talk about them much. She took up the pot in her hand from him, regardless of how he felt.

"I know a spot, c'mon."

Felix Faraday

 

[Felix Faraday]

Garden Plaza - Outer District - Eshan
Iris Arani || @CLOSED

A small shock of surprise washed over his face as Iris spoke on what she could see. Colors that did not have a name? A part of him wondered what that was like when you saw and knew something others did not, to witness something like that everyday. Was it wonderful or did it become a chore after a while? The only colors that really popped out at him were reds, really vibrant and dark reds. Or maybe he just liked red a lot. Who knew?

"Thanks," all the words Felix could speak in that moment.

Questions he wanted to ask but instead his gaze lowered towards Iris reaching out for his pot. Not fighting her or keeping a particularly tense grip, Felix let her take the pot from him. A moment of somber expression flashed across his face at the missing digit. Disgust or pity were the farthest things from his mind. She had obviously adjusted to her situation and maintained a measure of confidence in herself despite it.

No, there was simply a part of him who could not bear seeing someone with pain or injury. But it was rude to stare or share such an expression for long.

"Lead the way!" Felix tagged along, walking side by side with Iris.

"So do you like flowers? Gardening?" Felix put his hands behind his head, leisurely walking, "Maybe accidentally helped a few loggers by chopping down some trees while you practiced? Don't worry. The trees forgive you."

Felix grinned, chuckling, before casting an amused side-glance at Iris.​

 

[Iris Arani]

"I paint."

Was Iris's full answer to everything Felix asked. It wasn't a real answer to everything he was asking, nor did it explain really anything, but for her it was the only real answer. And, well, she really was terrible at holding a conversation with someone. It wasn't long until they were in a more empty part of the garden, where she found a spot to crouch down and set the plant beside to start digging out some earth.

"Here is good."

Felix Faraday

 

[Felix Faraday]

Garden Plaza - Outer District - Eshan
Iris Arani || @CLOSED

A rather straightforward answer to Felix's usual brand of humor. Perhaps not as funny or as upbeat as he thought he was. Or, rather, Iris was of a more serious disposition. Nothing wrong with that. But it might meant he would need to match it to get a little further in this conversation. He had been hoping to keep it a little bit more lighthearted given recent invents involving her panic.

But his tone and questions became more subdued and direct.

"What do you paint?" a flash of a cocky grin passed by across his face, "And are you any good at it?"

A more challenging statement to go with that ghost of a grin, but his tone meant no harm. If anything, Felix wondered if his remark would inspire any emotion or pride in Iris's self as an artist. Quickly following her lead, Felix knelt down opposite to her and began claw and digging his fingers into the dirt before following with his palm. He began scooping up dirt.

No point in Iris being the only one getting her hands dirty. He might as well help too.

"I can play a little music myself. Dance too. But mostly I do that at festivals. Nothing serious," Felix shrugged at himself. Nothing there for him to brag about. "You make anything I might have seen?"​