LOA Farewell

[Dark Forces]

I think that, when I'm here, I take this place too seriously.

I put in a lot of time, thought, and energy, and when people don't match that energy, I get frustrated. I keep getting disappointed and stressed when things just don't go the way people promise, or people just don't show up like they said they would. That's a silly way to live my life, but it's the pattern I fall into over and over. I was out for a couple of years on the heels of the last big disappointment, and I came back to find that - within two months - I'm feeling the same way all over again. I guess I'm setting my expectations too high, or being too trusting. Either way, I need to stop.

I'm proud of the writing I've done over the past two months. I produced some Codex and Factory subs that I think are really strong worldbuilding. I stepped up to manage some crises and drum up enthusiasm and camaraderie when a group's normal leadership was silent or absent. Most of all, I worked really, really hard to make the Annihilation a strong and engaging story for everyone involved. I wrote three characters and an NPC account, directly interacting with more than twenty other writers in an effort to give everyone something to do and get excited about. I think it was good work.

But I'm tired of the same patterns playing out that I always see. After twenty years, I think forum RP just isn't for me anymore.

A big thank you to everyone who wrote with me these past few months, especially those of you who were consistent in posting and genuine about putting story first. I hope that this all continues to be fun for you, and that you find ways to avoid the burnout I've been feeling. For me, I'm going to move on from this style of writing. NaNoWriMo is coming up; maybe this will be the year that I put in a real attempt at it. And with a kid on the way, I have plenty else that I ought to be doing, too. My priorities are changing, and I need to spend a little more time living in the real world going forward.

I stuck it out until I finished what I'd promised to do. With that behind me, I'm off. Wish you all the best.

 

[Connel Vanagor]

Fully get your position. There is no shame in taking pride like this, be aware of that and don't be sorry about taking a step away. Whether it is a day, a week, a year or forever, perspective is most important (too many people get lost in rp). Be a good husband, be a great dad and love life.

 

[Junko Ike]

It will be sad to see you go, it was nice seeing even if only a little stuff being acknowledged. So thank you

 

[Darth Prazutis]

Best wishes and good luck at everything you do! I hope life treats you well!

 

[Lysander von Ascania]

This all sounds really honest and healthy. I enjoyed reading your posts across the Annihilation with different characters, it def made the whole thing feel richer. Totally get how draining it can be when energy isn’t matched. It’s human to want effort to be mutual.

Sounds like you’re making space for what matters most now, and that's not a bad thing. Wishing you all the best with NaNo and everything ahead, especially with the kiddo on the way! That’s a whole new story unfolding. Live life fully! If the itch ever comes back, Chaos will still be here.

 

[Kitter Bitters]

May the Force be with you! Take care

 

[Kurayami Bloodborn]

Best of luck. May the Force be with you and yours.

 

[Daro Kilaeon]

Best wishes my guy, wherever life takes you. (Good luck with the kid )

You're by far one of my favorite writers on this site, and writing with you in this annihilation was an absolute blast, and I'm truly amazed how you carried us through it. Thank you, you absolutely deserve to rest. Chaos will remember you.

 

[Galen Tagge]

Ok dude take your time, we will miss you. "Just keep moving forward."- Louis Robinson

 

[Prex Oda Duun]

I get this - way too well.

On my old SW site, I was big into factions and huge group writing, etc. Came to feel like you did most times. When I came back to forum writing, I promised to keep things small, and just write for myself. If you ever come back, here or elsewhere, try it - it improved my experience immensely.

Take care!

 

[Lorn Reingard]

For what it's worth - I enjoyed reading what you put out. You genuinely made the annihilation easier to follow as well, kept everyone involved. Enjoy time with the family and good luck with the kid

 

[Vazela]

I am disappointed in this post. For good reasons, mind. I was really looking forward to getting to know you, and for us to write together upon the end of my loa, when I came back. You were very praising of my writing (something that I haven't heard enough over the years, I am a sponge for that type of praise) and I found myself enjoying the aesthetic that you were providing to the Galactic Empire through your own writing and submissions.

I really hope that you reconsider this decision and return after the holidays. It wouldn't be the first time that someone who has roleplayed for such a long time has a tendency to make such decisions only to walk it back sometime later. I think most of us have done the, "I am quitting this forever. What a waste of time!" and then find ourselves still here years (decades) later!

 

[Kei Amadis]

I have in the distant past felt that way on ye old forums. I realised a long time ago though every time I write, I am enjoying it, else I wouldn't be writing.

Sometimes people like to give me rich posts to engage with, and I thank them for each one. Not saying how you should think, only giving you a perspective that I took a long time ago. And it's let me enjoy every post I ever made, even solo.

Anyway good luck with your endeavors; all the best.