Private Falling Back Into Orbit

[Elle Mors]

EVERYTIME YOU GO​

It hadn't been immediate, in fact it was more likely than not that news of Csilla would have reached galactic airwaves before she'd reached for her commlink. It wasn't that she'd been planning to avoid the moment, a very big part of her was, on some level, anxious to get it over with, just that every time she put her finger on the button that would've activated the transceiver on the device she found herself forgetting the words she had wanted to say to her. With forgotten words caught in her throat, almost choking her of the ability to speak, what was she supposed to do? It carried on that way for hours, to the point that the Chiss system was so far behind her that the only thing visible from the cockpit of her ship was the collage of stars and nebulae dotting the endless void surrounding her.

* Static *

"Hey, uh.. Sylv. Didn't really know what to say, but I am, um.. well I got out alive, I guess."

She paused, looking at the transparent reflection of her face staring back at her with an expression that resembled unease, before releasing a sigh, audibly, into her mic - she didn't care if the sound was heard, it was meant for her anyway. There were several things she wanted to say but refrained from speaking further, preferring silence to her own voice, while she wracked her mind for something more appropriate for a short message like this.

"Well if that's all.." She started to say, her voice trailing off as she prepared to hang up.

Sylvia Virtos

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

Reach
Elle Mors

---

​

The stop on Eshan had been short. It had been for the better, too. The feeling had been much like ripping off a bacta patch, but this time a lot still lingered. Sylvia knew it was something she had to do, but the only thing that kept her from feeling even worse was the knowledge that she could've caused much more hurt had she done anything else. She had no choice but to accept the emotions she felt and do what felt right to her. Regardless of what happened from here, Quinn deserved more than what the spacer could give anymore. The last thing she wanted was for someone to feel like they were the second choice. Now she could only hope that the echani could find peace with what happened in time.

In the present moment, Sylvia had time to kill in hyperspace with too much on her mind. On the couch in her ship's main area she plucked away at her guitar, but the instrument did not provide nearly enough of a distraction to keep her mind from wandering. She hadn't been able to keep herself from checking for news about Csilla, but all it did was add to Sylvia's unease. The guilt she still felt over what happened on Eshan and the growing sense of worry kept her awake, to the point where she had become too tired to sleep.

It just didn't make sense. The fighting was done, Csilla's fate had been decided, but Ellie still hadn't checked in like she had promised. Sylvia wasn't sure for how much longer she was going to be able to push the sinking feeling away. She did not want to think about the possibility that Ellie hadn't made it after all.

Right as another wave of anxiety was about to crash into the spacer, the holodevice next to her lit up. She immediately looked over and realized it wasn't an ordinary signal. It was her own, and that meant only one thing. Scrambling to her feet, she took the device and plugged it into the ship's holo terminal and opened the comm line.

"Hey, uh.. Sylv. Didn't really know what to say, but I am, um.. well I got out alive, I guess."

"Ellie! Oh thank the Force, I was starting to-" In contrast to Ellie's, Sylvia's sigh was one of major relief. "I was getting pretty bloody nervous, heh. That's what I get for overthinking." If anything similar ever happened again, Sylvia wasn't leaving her side. The uncertainty was getting to her a little too much.

"Well if that's all.."

There it was again. The distance. A younger Sylvia would've let Ellie go here, but that wasn't her anymore. Their confessions on Csilla only made that resolve stronger.

"Of course that's not all."

The woman had never sounded this confident.

"Between then and now, I made some decisions. I..." A moment of silence was spent finding the right words to say, until she shook her head. "I still love you, Ellie. I know I'm saying it out of nowhere, but I can't keep it to myself and let it slip by. Please don't leave me again."

Sylvia swallowed, fearing a response she didn't want to hear.

 

[Elle Mors]

DON'T SAY YOU LOVE ME​

Tired didn't seem to cover it.

Curled up into a ball in her flight seat, in the tiny cockpit of the tiny ship she floated through space in, Ellie sucked in enough air to inflate both of her lungs fully, cartilage in her ribs shifting to accommodate the pressure. "Of course that's not all." She'd said, adding at least a small amount of suspense to the mood - she hadn't expected to be let off the line so easily, but she hadn't expected to get cut off in the middle of her sentence, even if it had sounded like she was just going to end the call. The moment Sylvia started talking she felt that suspense mounting, holding her breath almost without realizing it, the moment she caught on to the direction that the conversation had moved towards. "Sylv-" She started, again finding herself cut off - though to be fair this time she'd hardly registered her own voice, given how breathy and soft-spoken she'd been in trying to approach the subject.

"I still love you, Ellie."

Sylvia, of course, continued on a bit further than that, but it was certainly that single admission that captured her attention and shut her up almost right away. "I.." She struggled to say, particularly surprised by the pleading she was given. A moment or two passed as Elle tried to think of a way to respond, silence filling the airway with every second that ticked on after. "This is a little sudden, Sylv." She complained, though the tone her voice carried was more anxiety-laden discomfort than the sound of discontent. She swallowed, hard, as a multitude of thoughts cycled through her head.

"I'm not going to just disappear on you, things are different now, but I can't just.." She said, her words leaving her lips a mile a minute until her voice seemed to die in her throat. "I really don't know how to put this, but, I don't want to ruin things between us because we rush into something that we think we need to be friends, or to stay together." Elle explained, trying her damnedest not to sound like she was letting her down easy or rejecting her outright. "Where are you right now, can we talk about this in person? I don't want to have this talk over comms, you deserve more than that."

"I still have feelings for you, but I want us to get to know each other again first.. before we try to do anything we might regret if it doesn't work out."

Sylvia Virtos

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

Heavy With Hoping
Elle Mors

---

​

Ellie was right. It was sudden. First it took her too long, now she was rushing it. Panic flashed through her mind and with it came the knee-jerk wish to backtrack everything she said. The only thing keeping her from doing so was Ellie's voice, speaking words that ensured the spark of hope the spacer carried didn't die out right there and then. Still, the hesitation Sylvia perceived left her unsure and seeking for a committed answer, even when it simply wasn't there. Even outright rejection seemed better in the moment, for then she at least knew where they stood.

The short-lived burst of confidence was gone. Even so, there were things to hold onto. Sylvia revealed a fragile and careful smile at Ellie's request to meet in person while she tried to stay calm, so as not to let the rest of her emotions leak through and letting them lead her to bad decisions. Though their connection had no video, she nodded, though found no time to reply until Ellie finished speaking. The blonde had a point, too- they had changed, become different people entirely. As anxiety-inducing as it was, they both needed time. Sylvia too.

"You're- you're right. Sorry, I was just... afraid. I need to let that go," Sylvia admitted in a moment of self-reflection. Her cheeks flared up, embarrassed about her previous words. "But yeah, absolutely, I'd love to meet in person. We probably have way too much to catch up on." She let out an unsteady chuckle as she tried to shake the nerves. It was important to remember that this still was a step forward.

"I'm currently in hyperspace, en route to Denon. I was planning on looking for ship parts there, but it's probably not the best or prettiest place to meet. Perhaps I could head over to where you are?"

 

[Elle Mors]

SOMETHING TO LOSE​

Balance was a tedious thing to achieve, and it was nearly impossible to maintain ad infinitum. Meditation on the force, training herself to become the kind of Jedi that she saw in her mind's eye, and learning to live on her own had taught her the importance of balance and the kind of difficulty that came in keeping it - and the importance of recognizing what could destabilize that fragile status quo. If peace came from flying freely through space for Elle, than Sylvia was a rogue planet - this confession, the thread pulling them back together, like gravity - pulling her back into her orbit.

"You don't need to be afraid." She said quietly, pausing as Sylvia spoke. She shook her head, hearing the shift in conversation from what mattered most to Sylvia and understood quickly why. "I'm just flying in open space in a modified A-wing, Sylv, Denon would be fine." Elle said, glancing around the cramped cockpit. "I'm going to see you, remember? I don't care how pretty the place looks, I'm only going to be looking at you, anyway." She added, almost forcing the words out as warmth spread across the bottom of her neck and over her face in a bright blush. It was embarrassing enough to think the words, putting them out there doubly so, but she wanted to try to give back some of the confidence she'd felt slip away when the truth of their situation came to light.

"I'll see you in a little bit, okay? I'm going to end the call, I don't think it'll take me too long to get to Denon."

'Then we can both face our fears.' Elle thought, wincing at the hypocrisy in how she'd essentially curbed Sylvia's confession because of her own fears and made things just a tad bit more complicated than they probably needed to be. For the first time since she'd discovered what balance meant, she found herself to be the reason for its absence - trying, pointlessly, to remain where she'd become complacent.

Sylvia Virtos

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

Wishing On You
Elle Mors

---

​

A burst of air came out of Sylvia's nose. "Yeah... Feelings are just kind of the worst sometimes," she joked wearily. As much as the spacer wanted to believe that being scared wasn't necessary, logic failed to temper the feeling. For a moment she had felt like she had messed up again and that still left her reeling somewhat. The knowledge that they would be meeting in person helped to alleviate some of the fear, but she was not entirely sure if the anxiety that took its place was that much better.

Ellie seemed to be fine with Denon and Sylvia saw no reason to complain. The longer the trip to whatever destination was going to be, the longer she would have to deal with the nigh-oppressive anticipation that was building within her. "Denon it is, then," she quickly conceded in the short gap in Ellie's words. Knowing the place where they would be meeting gave a strange sense of comfort.

"I don't care how pretty the place looks, I'm only going to be looking at you, anyway."

Until moments later, when Sylvia's cheeks turned redder than they had ever been. Her heart skipped a beat, the sudden confession catching her off-guard. "Well, I mean..." she muttered, the only combination of words she was able to scramble together. "I... uh... If you put it like that..."

It was the last thing Sylvia had expected to hear. The butterflies took a firm hold of her senses.

"A-alright. See you soon. I can't wait."

When the call ended, Sylvia immediately let out an anxious sigh. Without Ellie distracting her she now felt the sweat that gathered under her armpits. It was no surprise, considering how she had been heating up, but it did mean she needed to go take a shower before anything else. Looking over at the clock on the holoterminal, she concluded she had enough time.

"Spark, I'm taking a shower," Sylvia shouted in the direction of the cockpit as she began making her way to the small bathroom. "If you need me, just beep really loud."

 

[Elle Mors]

BLACK HOLE​

"Mhm." She answered as the call ended, letting out the biggest sigh in the history of probably ever after the line was dead. "I just can't seem to stay away, can I?" She asked out loud, to nobody in particular, while she moved to set a flight path to Denon. In regards to travel time she'd been right, it wasn't going to take very long for her to get there once she made it to the Corellian Run, which itself was maybe ten or twenty minutes from where she'd been passively idling by anyway. In less than a minute the stars that dotted her viewport were little more than streaks as the ship lurched into hyperspeed.

Unlike Sylvia, and in hindsight rather unfortunately so, Ellie was flying on a modified starfighter - and interceptor, really - so her options for freshening up were about as limited as they came. Typically this wouldn't be an issue - she'd stop on some planet without a lot of industrialized land and make use of a spring or something - but now she had committed to a trip that was realistically going to get her there in the time it would've taken to bathe in the first place. Glancing over to what little perfume she had left, and the deodorant stick it sat beside, she felt her chest fall in quiet resignation.

"Chit."

About an hour and a lot of dissatisfied grunting and groaning over not being nearly as presentable as she wanted later and Ellie had arrived on Denon, though she realized she hadn't quite arranged a place to meet during their earlier conversation. 'Oh for force sakes..' She thought, picking up her commlink that had since been slotted with the chip Sylvia Virtos had given her.

"Hey, Sylv, I'm here but.. where are we meeting?"

Smooth.

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

Play Me
Elle Mors

---

​

Spark remained silent for the duration of Sylvia's shower, but that also meant she had more than enough time to overthink every single thought that floated around her. The one that stuck with her most was seemingly so simple, and during the call earlier it had been, but now she was utterly clueless about what she wanted to say to Ellie when they met up. Countless versions of their future conversation were simulated in her imagination, hoping it would somehow prepare her well enough.

However, when Sylvia stepped out of the bathroom merely in her underwear, she was faced with a much more direct issue to tackle- a choice of outfit had to be made. Ten minutes were spent inside her bedroom, going through her closet trying to find something that Ellie would like. After the seventh time going through everything, or close to that amount, she let out a frustrated growl and took a step back.

"Just pick something, it'll be fine," Sylvia spoke out loud in an attempt to reassure herself. As if on cue, Spark beeped right behind the door. Looking over to the viewport, the space indeed witnessed the ship reverting to realspace. Time was up.

"Chite."

"I'll be right over, bud," she called out to Spark before letting her subconscious pick out articles of clothing and rushing to get them on. Part of her scolded it for going for flannel again, but at least she had made a choice. The shirt remained unbuttoned over a plain black shirt and was combined with a simple pair of jeans. With a brush in hand she ran over to the cockpit and hopped into the pilot's seat, at which point the ship's commlink went off again.

"Oh, hey- right, we kinda forgot about that." In the haze of Sylvia's mindstate, that had completely flown past her. "It depends, I guess? I have an apartment if you prefer a more quiet place. Got rooftop access too, and the view's pretty neat. Otherwise, I'm sure we could find a decent place to eat or something. Uh- up to you," she explained, speaking in a rapid tempo while brushing her hair. Hopefully nothing she suggested made it seem like she had any overly optimistic ideas.

"I just entered orbit, so I'll be landing in a few moments. Should I just send over the address of my apartment? We can figure out where to go from there."

 

[Elle Mors]

Vérité​

'Somewhere we can be alone.' She thought, insisting to herself the purpose behind her coming here in the first place, which tossed going out to eat straight out the window as the cloud cover over the planet's surface parted and revealed the ground below. "Your place sounds like a better spot to talk." She said glancing over the side of the ship's wings at the swathe of neon that covered most of Denon. Quiet sounded good, the idea of it reminded her of the feeling she had while flying through space - serenity. Being calm was certainly an ideal state to be in when they'd eventually get to talking over what had brought Elle to Denon in the first place.

"Looks like you got to go explore the stars after all." She whispered absentmindedly, wistfully, the line still live - totally unaware she'd spoken, thinking the words had been uttered in her head. A rush of nostalgia hit her as she turned her attention back to the communicator, "Just send me the location and I'll be there." She said while she reflected on dreams she'd forgotten. Planet-hopping, as she'd started calling it, was something she'd done to live a dream she'd shared with her friend, but it'd never really accomplished anything except a fleeting sense of contentedness that evaporated as soon as it'd formed.

"I'll see you then."

Then the line was dead, just in time for a couple droplets of moisture to roll down the edge of her cheek. She dabbed it away with the back of her hand, sucking air in through her nose to force herself to calm down. 'I should be happy.' She thought.

So why wasn't she?

Sylvia Virtos

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

Sweet Time
Elle Mors

---

​

While Sylvia had heard the whispered remark she did not know how to respond to it, if she was even supposed to. She had indeed fulfilled that childhood dream, but without Elle it had been a hollow victory. Those moments of solitude while blasting or drifting through space got a little too lonely sometimes. Those were the moments where her thoughts drifted towards darker places. Sometimes the downward spiral led her to the sorry state the galaxy was in and always had been or the things she hated about herself, but in the majority of cases that path led to the mistakes she had made in the past. Nothing made Sylvia feel worse about herself than remembering all the ways she had done Elle wrong. Above all, she wanted to make as much right as she could.

The comment was left where it was.

"Yeah, one sec. Just gotta..." Sylvia's voice trailed off while the mic picked up the sound of the brush being put down. With a few taps on the holo-interface of her ship's cockpit, the address was sent from her end of the connection to Elle's. "There we go. Warning you in advance, it's been months since I've been inside. I can't remember how much of a mess I left there last time."

"Until then."

The line was cut again. Sylvia sent the ship down to Denon's surface without any more delays.

"Here goes nothing, I guess," she quietly said to herself, followed up by an elongated sigh. The spacer did not dare get her hopes up; despite Elle's confessions, she had still kept a measure of distance. There still was a good chance that the blonde did not want to take the same leap she herself was hoping for, regardless of the reason why.

"Uh, bud," she spoke to Spark as she turned to the droid, "I'm not sure how long I'll be gone for. Keep a good eye on the ship until I'm back, yeah?"

Not much later

Sylvia turned a corner into the next city block and the street her apartment was located at, walking at a slightly faster pace than the crowd around her. Anticipation had her trying to peer through the mass of bodies to see if Elle was already waiting by the building while weaving her way through. Her heart skipped a beat everytime her eyes met blond hair, only to be let down when she realized it wasn't the one she was looking for.

Until she was nearly at the main entrance and fished the keycard out of her pocket. Waiting there was the girl she never did forget. The girl she had made so many promises to. The girl who after all this time still made a mess of her emotions.

"Hey Ellie," Sylvia called out, waving. She picked up the pace further to cover the last bit of distance, coming to a halt before Elle. A second was spent fighting hesitation before pushing past that barrier and giving the blonde a short-lived hug, like she always used to do. Realizing they were in public caused the spacer's cheeks to run flush.

"C'mon, let's get inside." Sylvia swiped the card to unlock the door, then held it open for Elle to pass through. "Elevator's to the right," she remarked as she followed her into the building.

 

[Elle Mors]

GOLDEN​

Silence had accompanied her descent, both around her and inside of her head. There could have been a trillion thoughts that might've ran through her head if it'd been any time but now, the present finding some odd way to push such a heavy weight on her shoulders, on her heart, that she couldn't find anything to say - even to herself. A quiet hiss of hydraulics moving preceded the opening of her flight hatch, the polluted scent of ozone hitting her nose almost immediately, and the clicking of its panels with the ship itself followed its closing after she'd climbed her way out of the small fighter. A glance here, a look there, and suddenly she was alone again in a place she didn't know, much more than she had felt deep in space, with thoughts cropping from the deepest part of her subconscious begging her to turn back around, to disappear again.

She shook her head.

There wasn't anything eventful in the walk to Sylvia's home, just strangers on the street, neon on the building sides, and the sound of civilization bustling around her at every turn. Meandering through the city in plain clothes, a full sleeve of tattoos on one of her arms and up her shoulder, Elle very much fit in with the rest of the crowd that looked her age, even if she probably wasn't capable of being any more different. She'd kept her head down for much of the trek there, avoiding eye contact as much as possible with a particular fixation on the ground directly in front of her feet, so she hadn't a clue how she'd somehow managed to end up at the door seemingly before Sylvia had.

Standing there, shifting her weight from one leg to the next and back again as her anxiety slowly grew, she waited - her eyes looking out into the crowd for the first time since she'd landed. Each passing second she felt herself shrink as more and more people passed by, none of them the one she'd been looking for. It turned out she didn't need to wait much longer with Sylvia Virtos finally coming into view as she fished for her keycard. 'This is it.' She thought, the window she had to give up now gone. "Hey Ellie." Sylvia said, simultaneously hitting every sense of nostalgia in her while sounding totally different than what she'd remembered the catchphrase sounding like - before the realization that it wasn't at all a catchphrase anymore hit her like a ton of bricks.

Winded, if only mentally, she offered a weak smile and waved. "Hey yourself." She said quietly, her expression softening, as they stood face to face for the second time in such a short span of it. The hug hadn't caught her off guard, though she supposed there was little that could after Csilla, but she got the feeling there was some kind of hesitation there on Sylv's end - not that she let on that she'd known. The door opened, Sylvia keeping it ajar for her, and she passed through, turning towards the elevator as it was pointed out to her. She was nearly there, in the elevator that is, when she stopped mid-step, as if she'd been hit by some sudden thought or something.

"Sylv?" She asked, pausing before turning to look towards her with a studious gaze.

"I'm sorry I left."

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

Divinity
Elle Mors

---

​

The door fell shut after Sylvia let Elle pass through and followed her in, the spacer not bothering to look back to see it happen. Instead, her eyes remained affixed on the blonde locks of the woman she quickly went to catch up on on their way to the elevator. She thought about asking her whether she wanted to go to her apartment or the rooftop, but Elle suddenly came to a halt before she could do so. While the elevator wasn't far off, Elle was still far away enough to indicate it wasn't simply her waiting for Sylvia to catch up.

"Sylv?"

"Yeah?" she replied curiously as she took one final step, watching Elle turn to face her. There was something about the way she had said her name. The best descriptor she could give it was that it sounded weary, but regardless of what it truly was, it held a certain weight. For just that moment between then and Elle speaking again, she braced herself for the worst. It was a reflex she still had to overcome.

"I'm sorry I left."

An apology, after Sylvia had slowly placed the blame for everything squarely on her own shoulders over time. She had given her own apology back on Csilla, one that was met by Elle telling her not to say sorry. The spacer had let it slide then, but she couldn't let that happen again. They had the time to talk about this now.

"And I'm sorry I pushed you away," Sylvia replied, her voice dripping with regret. "But I don't think we should argue over who is more to blame."

When it happened, she blamed herself until the dark influences around her told her exactly what Elle now apologized for; that she had abandoned her. Only after she herself had left the Sith behind came the realization of what she had done, and it haunted her still. Now, however, as she stood face to face with Elle, she knew that they both had to forgive the other for the things that had happened. They had been placed in impossible positions through circumstances out of their control. This was where they could begin to move on from that.

"So, Ellie..." Sylvia stepped forward and embraced her again, the hug lacking any of the hesitation the last one had. She didn't pull away immediately, either, instead keeping her arms wrapped around the woman she had never stopped caring about.

"I... I forgive you," she assured Elle. It was difficult to say, her thoughts screaming at her to not let the blonde take any of the blame like that. Still, she managed. "And I hope you can forgive me too. If not now, then one day."

 

[Elle Mors]

DREAM GIRL​

She smiled, though it was small, at the reassuring words she'd been given. Confidence, strength, things she took for granted, were all the things Elle could reliably claim she excelled in. Tangible traits, one might suppose, things you saw in every step, in every look and with each spoken word, but what use were they when the weight of the world was weighing down on your shoulders? The very things that made her as enviable as she could be were exactly what crippled her in moments like this - where simple questions, 'If you're so confident, why can't you say it?' or 'For someone so strong, you sure act weak.', turned everything she'd been certain of on its head.

So she didn't say anything as Sylvia reacted, either unable or unwilling to try to correct her on the feelings she, herself, had on the matter of blame. What if she said the wrong thing again? Lost her temper, stormed out, and lost everything all over again just because she couldn't say exactly what she meant when she needed to most - Sylvia might take it for granted, but she, at least, knew how to say what she felt when she saw the timing was right. And if the words weren't right? Arms wrapping around her showed just how well action could substitute as communication.

"Thank you." She whispered, her voice a little more hoarse than it had been just a short while ago, as forgiveness was given - forgiveness she needed to recover.

She shook her head as Sylvia tried to give her own apology, but said the words she knew that she wanted to hear - it was pointless to argue the blame that was entirely on her own shoulders. "Of course I forgive you." She said, returning the embrace with searching hands that tugged lightly on Sylvia's shoulders. "Let's go inside." She offered softly, trying hard to ignore the sting at the edge of her eyes.

Sylvia Virtos

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

Unfold
Elle Mors

---

​

Did she deserve this second chance?

As they stood there, holding one another in their embrace, her head resting on Elle's shoulder, Sylvia felt a sense of comfort she had not felt since that one last night. She had taken their friendship for granted then, and yet she had been too scared to try to take it further. That fear had cost them everything and ripped that warm feeling away from Sylvia, but feeling Elle's arms around her and hearing her voice wiped away the cold she had gotten accustomed to. She felt tears welling up, but was able to fight back with a sniff.

"I... needed that. Thank you too."

Perhaps she didn't deserve it. Surely it was the Force showing its benevolence by reuniting her with Elle, despite all of the pain she had caused. Her promise had been restored and she would make sure never to break it again. Even if, in the end, the spark they had could not be restored, Sylvia would be there for Elle. No matter what.

Elle's offer is what finally urged Sylvia to release her embrace. As she stepped back, she revealed the relieved smile that had formed. "That's probably a good idea," she admitted before taking the final steps towards the elevator and pressing the button to go up. Thankfully the doors opened immediately; it had already been waiting for them. Once again she let Elle step inside first, then followed her in. After spending a second remembering which floor her apartment was at, she typed in the number 46 on the control pad. The doors closed, and up they went.

"I still can't believe we're here right now, to be honest," Sylvia mused while trying to get herself to look out at the cityscape behind the glass. Her eyes couldn't help but drift back towards Elle, though. "Turns out the bastard couldn't pull us apart forever." They were lucky to have escaped the Sith, even if it took Sylvia a bit longer to take the leap. The looming shadow had cleared.

A moment of silence passed until Sylvia spoke in a much more quiet tone, scratching her neck as she spoke.

"I thought about you all the time."

 

[Elle Mors]

KILLING ME​

Full circle.

She'd always wondered why the force had guided her the way it had, looping her across the stars and away from the things she'd been accustomed to before her exile - shown her the people whose lives were at times both better and worse than her own, and how they made due with the hand they'd been dealt. She had not understood it then, unable to see the forest for the trees, but now things were beginning to come clear. Perhaps she'd been drained of that teenage naivete, the thing that had helped her seem so much larger than life back on Bastion, but she'd grown just as much in the time she'd spent wandering.

"Yeah.." She agreed, trying to picture the argument she'd had the day before she'd left Bastion - something she hadn't ever shared with Sylvia, something she wasn't sure she wanted to. A younger Elle would have blurted out the truth without much thought, perhaps believing that any truth was worth knowing, without understanding the emotional toll it might've inflicted. She'd come clean at some point but right now wasn't the right time, so she kept quiet as silence loomed, her eyes staring forwards as she tried to process the last twenty-four hours.

"I thought about you all the time."

Her head turned at those words with genuine surprise framing her face. She didn't quite know what to say, whether to try to explain how she'd felt in solitude or how much she'd panicked just hours ago at the thought of never seeing her again, but the quickening of her heart and the heat that radiated out from her chest spurred her into action, her hand reaching for Sylv's. Maybe she could have explained, and overexplained, how hard it had been for her to try to move on with her feelings, to stress the importance she'd had to her that made it so difficult, or perhaps she could've said something pertaining to the force, but for once she knew exactly what to say, so she said that instead.

"I forgot who I was when I lost you." She said, looking away for a moment out of embarrassment, or perhaps humiliation - there were bitter memories there, too, even if she was bitter with herself over the fact that she'd made them in the first place. "I don't think that part of me exists anymore, but maybe I can build something new with you." The lift dinged, signifying they'd made it to the forty-sixth floor, and the doors slid apart to let them through.

"When we're ready." She added quietly, looking towards Sylvia Virtos for reassurance.

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

You're the One
Elle Mors

---

​

Embarrassment over what Sylvia had just said called on her to look away, but the urge was pushed back. In defiance to that feeling she kept her eyes on Elle's face, actively taking in all of her features for the first time since their reunion. She recognized it all, from the color of her eyes to the small marks, but her expression wasn't as familiar to the spacer. The blonde, too, had matured. The galaxy was a sobering place and they had both seen it from various angles.

What Sylvia hadn't noticed, though, was Elle's hand reaching for her own. The first moment of contact had her heart jump just slightly, but when fingers weaved together she was left utterly flustered. While Elle merely saw Sylvia's lips pull into an idiot's grin and felt her hold tightening just slightly, on the inside a chain reaction was taking place. Her heartbeat quickened and the butterflies in her stomach multiplied, just some of the endless reminders of what Elle could do to her without even trying.

Those feelings only threw Sylvia's mind into more disarray when Elle spoke of the time spent apart and the future that was now possible. It was impossible for Sylvia to even comprehend how she was able to affect anyone that way merely by being absent. Growing up being told she was worthless made it difficult to believe she meant much of anything to anyone, but not even she could call the sincerity of what Elle told her in question. It did not make sense, but that did not make it any less overwhelming.

"When we're ready," Sylvia repeated with a nod, blue meeting green as she looked into Elle's eyes. In truth, she was already dying to lay down the first brick. For her, though, she would be as patient as she needed to be. "I'm not going anywhere either."

With their hands still joined, Sylvia led the way out of the elevator and through the hallway until they came to a stop before a door marked '46-27'. Finally she let go of Elle's hand in order to fish her keycard out of her jean pocket. "Time to pray the amount of dust isn't unbearable," she remarked only half-jokingly as she swiped the card past the reader. A green light glowed up and the door's lock clicked open. After pushing it open, Elle was let in first for a third time.

"Welcome to my humble abode," Sylvia said with an exaggerated posh voice. The hall led into a fairly small room that contained the kitchen and living space. A small layer of dust coated various surfaces, revealing that nobody had been inside in some time.

"I bought it some time ago, after I got my first big payday," Sylvia explained while she closed the door behind them and kicked off her sneakers. "I helped steal some ships from the Sith Empire. We gave them a much better home," she said with a chuckle. "I thought I'd use this place more than I ended up doing, though. But eh, it's still nice to have just in case."

 

[Elle Mors]

DREAMS​

"When we're ready."

Though she didn't mean to, Elle's lips curled up into a small smile as her words were repeated back to her. Things might be different now, and maybe there was an air of depression that had been following her around for quite some time, but, in spite of how much both of their situations and Ellie herself had changed, little gestures like these still reached right into her core. Her fingers tightened her grip a little, reflexively, before loosening again as she felt heat cross over her face, from cheek to cheek. "Me neither." She said with a nod, her smile growing a little. The Sylvia she'd grown up with hadn't been very successful finding her place in the academy they practically got raised in, frustratingly arrogant kids had taken to calling her rat because of her mousy looks and timidity back then. Confident, loud, and a little more friendly than she ought to have been, Elle had noticed straight away - she'd claimed her friend as one the moment Sylv was comfortable enough to talk to her. Now she was, as far as Elle was aware, a mostly successful spacer paving her own way in the galaxy.

A genuine friend, there was a difference between that and the people who'd just been friendly with the blonde over superficial things which Elle hadn't known at the time, Sylvia quickly became nearly the center of her world. Even as their courses had started and they'd been pulled apart because of the Overseer's disdain for Sylv, Elle still had done everything she could to be there for her - a mock duel? Ellie would've crept out of class early to catch as much of things as she could. Difficult exams? Elle's bed would have to do without her for a week to make sure Sylvia was as ready as could be.

Maybe Sylvia had seen things from the lens the Overseer had - that Elle's friendship was built on contribution, something she might've interpreted as being largely one-sided - but it had been, at least from the perspective Elle had on the matter, anything but. Friendship, or at least theirs, wasn't some whimsical decision on Elle's part that led into her caring the way that she did. She could've helped anyone else on their way during schooling, but it wasn't a whim that pulled Elle to her - and it wasn't something as sappy as love at first sight or any of that either.

"It can't be that bad." She said as her hands found her hips, Sylvia having let go of her hand to get the door. Stepping through as the door was opened for her, making a mental note to remember the gesture later, she turned her head this way and that to take in the view of the place. She paused, eyebrows shooting up in exaggerated surprise. "Months? Sylv it looks like you haven't stepped foot in here ever." She joked, turning dramatically with mock shock painted on her face. With lips pursed tightly together she kept her hands at her hips only to let the façade slip with a giggle, tilting her head to the side with a much more genuine smile to replace the surprise she'd given before. "I'm joking, it's cute. More spacious than the cockpit of an interceptor, that's for sure." She glanced around again, while Sylvia explained how she'd managed to afford the place, and nearly let out a sigh that she caught at its start.

There was something special, maybe even fulfilling, when someone was comfortable enough to open up with you, doubly so when that someone wasn't willing to let anyone else in behind the walls they'd sheltered themselves behind. She could still remember it like it was yesterday - the first time Elle had been able to worm her way into Sylv showing her to her dorm, something that was so innocuous and yet so difficult for her to manage. Most people probably never noticed or paid much attention to it, but the living space they had were generally as much a private space as one could have outside of their own heads, especially in a Sith academy. Elle had made friends before Sylv, and more since, but few had been willing to do much more than try to use her to their advantage - be it in martial training or as a connection to their higher-ups. Sylvia, the girl who had notoriously kept to herself once the bullying had hit a fever pitch, had let her in, not because she wanted to ride on her figurative coattails or anything as stupid as that - but because she wanted to be friends.

So maybe Elle did all the favors she could to help her friend succeed, but that had been her choice made because of gratitude she felt for a friend that was far more loyal than she ever was - a fact that was made clear as day the moment Elle had walked out the door on that fateful day. Big shows of support, of friendship, might be the sort of thing one remembers in the moment, but the little acts of closeness, of openness, to willingly open up even when common sense said not to make friends with other Sith in the way she had, were the kinds of things that stuck with Ellie about Sylv for life. All of those small decisions and gestures added up, and eventually they became her entire world. The girl who had nothing had given her something much more important than anything material, she'd given her trust when doubt probably told her not to - so Elle gave her time, and with time gave her the place as the center of her world.

And without that center she was lost, like a ship without an anchor - nobody to trust, nobody that trusted a young deserter that freely admitted to her Sith origins.

"You'll have to tell me more of what you've been up to later." Elle said while she kneeled down to slip out of her boots, which required a little more effort to get out of than sneakers. "Any place good to sit?" She asked as she stood back up, hands back on her hips. "I'd rather not be standing while we talk, if that's okay." She explained, though she must have quickly realized the suspense that might create if her follow-up was anything to go by. "I'm just a little tired, long day - difficult day." Ellie interjected, "and I still want to talk about what I said over comms."

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

No Doubt
Elle Mors

---

​

Something about seeing that lighthearted side of Elle's floating back up to the surface brought a big, toothy smile to Sylvia's face. It had been far too long since she had heard that infectious giggle, but it had lost none of its magic. Just like old times, the magenta-haired girl was powerless to keep herself from laughing along. It never failed to brighten up her day when she most needed it. The stupid little jokes Elle would make and her laughter that always followed made for many little moments of reprieve during a dark time.

"I can imagine, yeah," Sylvia replied while she recovered from the small moment of laughter. "I tried living out of a patrol craft for a minute, but a freighter works much better for that purpose." That ship was still parked in a hangar, in case having additional firepower came in handy, but in all other cases she preferred the space her freighter provided. Having the room to work on tech projects, play a little bit of guitar, or even just stretch her legs was very welcome.

Sylvia waited for Elle to take off her boots, keeping her back turned to the apartment's living space in the meantime. "I've got some stories, alright," she said while she watched the blonde move to the second boot. Making a living from odd jobs tended to come with interesting experiences. "But you gotta tell me what your time out there in the galaxy has been like as well. We've got enough time, I think," Sylvia asserted. There was nobody with the power to tell them what to do anymore. The freedom they once dreamt of was now in their hands.

With Elle standing back up, Sylvia turned around and led her into the main area. "Yeah, let's go sit down," she agreed. "And uh... if you need an ear about, uh, that whole mess, I'm right here. I bet a lot happened back there." Letting someone know she was there for them through words wasn't Sylvia's strongest suit, but hopefully she had been able to get the message across. "You, uh... you did a brave thing, staying there to help. Makes you a hero in my book." Bravery was a trait Sylvia wished she had.

"A-and the thing we talked about earlier, of course. The, uh, feelings thing. The suspense is kind of killing me," Sylvia admitted with a slightly nervous chuckle. She found herself feeling embarrassed again, the very topic alone held enough sway over her to make her blush with a single thought. She wasn't even aware she had been getting rambly again from the moment she walked out of the hall.

To their right was a small kitchen, while the living room side of things took up the rest of the space. It was sparsely furnished, only featuring a small table standing in front of a couch. All there was beyond that was a holoscreen that hung from the wall. A large window gave the room a view of the city. "The sofa's pretty comfy," Sylvia remarked as she loosely gestured towards it, though she herself moved towards the kitchen. "Let's see what I still have in the fridge here. Want anything to drink?"

 

[Elle Mors]

BROOKLYN LOVE​

Following Sylvia into the main living space, Elle let her eyes wander across the rather spartan living space. She'd been about ready to ask a question about where she'd been staying if not here, not quite sure if she'd been told earlier - she couldn't quite recall - when that little bit about Csilla was brought back up. A chill ran down her spine, she had been trying rather hard to push thoughts of that down as far as they could go until she was ready to face them, and she slowed down a little to process the offer. "In a little bit." She said quietly, her expression nearly as clouded as her heart on the matter. She didn't comment on the hero label, figuring that acknowledging it wouldn't play out quite the way she'd like, and silently hoped that it wouldn't change the dynamic of their renewed friendship.

She found a seat on the sofa easily enough, nodding understandingly at Sylv's anxiety. Fortunately enough for the two of them, the anxiety and uncertainty was something they would be navigating through together - no more getting lost without the other to help. "Just water, I think." Elle answered while she turned her gaze towards the window, staring outside as Sylvia poured them both their drinks. "I haven't drank anything else in a long time." She commented off-handedly, reaching for the cup when Sylv was back at her side, taking a moment to stare absentmindedly into the translucent contents while her friend sat down before taking a short sip. "Listen, Sylv.. I know you were hoping for.. or I think.." She started to say, struggling to find exactly the right words that wouldn't make it sound like she was anywhere near as certain of things as she might've started to seem.

"I don't understand why this is so hard for me to talk about, honestly." Ellie admitted with a sigh, a bit more agitated with herself than not. "I spent the last, well, the time since we had our.. fight.. falling out? Since I've been gone, really; I've been trying to force myself to accept that things just weren't meant to be, which was.. well.. hard, to put it mildly." She explained, pausing to try to figure out how she was supposed to link that with the reason she had behind slowing things down. "I thought about how I had been acting when I was still living down the hall, on Bastion I mean, and the way I'd just.. lost it.. when I thought you hadn't," She continued, pausing only to clear her throat - she was clearly uncomfortable admitting what followed, "wanted what I had been trying manipulate you into admitting."

"It was, well, it was wrong. I realized that then, I know that now.. I just don't want to jump into a relationship with you right away until I can trust that I won't be stupid and act like that again."

"Just.. if you want to be more than friends, I'm not saying no, I actually think I am kind of saying yes? Just, like, can we not put a label on things until we know for sure?"

She was quiet again, her eyes at first locked onto her fingers wrapped around the glass in her hands but now peered anxiously up towards Sylvia's.

"I still love you, really, I'm just.. afraid?"

'Of me.'
Sylvia Virtos

 

[Sylvia Virtos]

First Time
Elle Mors

---

​

The physical reaction Elle showed at the mentioning of Csilla left Sylvia quiet for a moment. She knew there was no way it had been anything but difficult to even witness everything that unfolded there, fighting to stop it even more so. Bringing it up right there perhaps had not been the best idea, though. Sylvia hid the awkward look on her face by keeping her attention squarely on the fridge as she approached it. At least she was able to let Elle know that she was there for her, she supposed. The awkward feeling luckily didn't last very long, at least.

After popping open the fridge and peering inside, Sylvia could not help but wonder what else she had been expecting. "That works out, then," she remarked before pushing the door back shut. "Because that's all I got here. I honestly don't know what I expected." Following a shrug, she collected two glasses from one of the cupboards. Thankfully, the previous owner had installed a filter to make the tap water drinkable. "Guess I should bring in some bottles from my ship. Where's Spark when I need to make a voice memo..." she mused as she filled up the glasses. With them in hand, she carefully walked over to the couch, watching the one glass she had accidently filled up a little too close to the brim.

Sylvia handed her friend one of the glasses before sitting down next to her, and with it came another wave of anxiety that was nearly overwhelming. She should've been confident by now, from their promises to the small but powerful moment where they had walked down the hall hand in hand, but without that absolute certainty she remained just as nervous. The spacer was about to comment on Elle's comment, how she had more than enough good drinks on her ship to have something other than water for once, but that opportunity passed by when the blonde spoke again. Lack of time had not been the issue; rather, it was the fact Sylvia used it to take a good sip of her own water to hopefully calm her nerves.

It did not do much.

"Listen, Sylv.. I know you were hoping for.. or I think.."

Sylvia nodded in understanding. Elle was the empath of the two, but it wasn't too difficult for herself to see when someone struggled to find the right words to convey what their mind was telling them. Personal experience had shown her exactly how that felt. Elle's moment of self-criticism was nearly met by Sylvia telling her to take her time, but she was able to continue.

"I spent the last, well, the time since we had our.. fight.. falling out? Since I've been gone, really; I've been trying to force myself to accept that things just weren't meant to be, which was.. well.. hard, to put it mildly."

Sylvia let out a quiet and sheepish "yeah..." before taking a small sip, her voice lowkey enough to not feel like an interjection. It was a feeling that had been mutual all along. Sylvia had always struggled to accept the fact Elle was gone, even believing she was dead. It made finding closure difficult, which was made worse by the persistent nightmares she had endured since their split. She had not just lost someone she had feelings for, Elle was more than that. She was the only one who knew Sylvia inside and out, the only one she was able to fully trust. Even when her life began to turn around, she still felt a piece of her was missing.

"I thought about how I had been acting when I was still living down the hall, on Bastion I mean, and the way I'd just.. lost it.. when I thought you hadn't... wanted what I had been trying manipulate you into admitting."

Elle's explanation suddenly went in a direction Sylvia had not seen coming. Her initial reaction was one of visible confusion as she tried to make sense of what she was being told, her thoughts casting back in an attempt to link it to any memories. The only moments where it made sense where the hints and nudges Sylvia refused to believe in at the time. Elle had wanted her to be the one to admit her feelings first, while she knew how difficult it was for her to open up about anything at the time. That was when it clicked.

All of the hurt they had gone through could have been prevented. And yet, Sylvia could not be angry at Elle. The academy brought out the worst in everyone, and the spacer knew that. All she had to do was look back on her own behavior back then. She set her glass down on the caf table before them, still listening intently.

"Just.. if you want to be more than friends, I'm not saying no, I actually think I am kind of saying yes? Just, like, can we not put a label on things until we know for sure?"

A 'kind of' yes was still a yes, even if time was needed and nothing was fully set in stone. Regardless, her eyes lit up as another smile formed, displaying a sense of near-disbelief. Sylvia would gladly do whatever she could to help her overcome the fear she spoke of, and if there was nothing she could do herself then she would give her all the time in the galaxy. Elle was giving this a chance, and that was all Sylvia could ask for.

"I meant what I said earlier, Ellie. I forgave you, and that still stands. The Sith fethed up both of our heads back then, Force knows I did some stupid chite," Sylvia answered while she was slowly getting lost in Elle's eyes. Her smile remained, too. There was nothing that told the blonde that she still held any grudges, if she ever had in the first place.

"So let's do this, together. Labels can wait," she said, without hesitation. An urge to place her hand on Elle's upper leg cropped up, but she decided to let any physical first move be done by her. That way, she could set the tempo. "And take all the time you need. Whatever you're comfortable with."