Every Day a Little Death [Marzena, Ludolf & Natasi]

[Natasi Fortan]

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Resurgent-class Star Destroyer Concordia​

Secure Communications Center of Grand Moff Natasi Fortan​

Connected to the Imperial Palace - Avalonia, Dosuun​

Supreme Leader Ren's Private Channel​

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"These are most ... troubling times," the Supreme Leader intoned gravely, his holographic form looming over the slight, slender form of Grand Moff Natasi Fortan. She stood still, head bowed reverently. "I can sense your discomfort, Grand Moff Fortan. And your feelings do you credit -- during these most difficult hours, to be without a Supreme Commander would be most unwise."

"Clearly, Field Marshal Vaas is the only candidate," said Natasi, her voice hoarse from all the talking (and praying, and crying, and more talking). "He has been with us from the beginning. His loyalty is entirely without question, and his strategic mind is second to none." The Grand Moff steeled herself and raised her gaze towards the Supreme Leader's holographic form. "He is the only candidate."

"Strictly speaking, he is not," the Supreme Leader mused; Natasi knew the Supreme Leader well enough to know that he was testing her now. "[member="William Kerkov"] for example. [member="Cyrus Tregessar"] for another. Grand Admirals with varying degrees of impressive records..."

"I am unconvinced that they would be as dedicated to you, my Lord," said Natasi, her fingers knitting together anxiously as she looked up at the Supreme Leader. "My Lord, allow me to ascertain the extent of his injuries before we make any hasty decisions." The young woman inclined her head. "If his prognosis is good, we can install an interim Supreme Commander to administrate the military until [member="Ludolf Vaas"] has made a full recovery."

"And if his prognosis is... difficult?"

"Then I will compile a list of names myself for your review by the end of the day," Natasi returned.

"Your willingness to stand in front of Field Marshal Vaas is admirable, Natasi," said the Supreme Leader gravely. "Your ability to disagree with me and to do it rationally and without fear of offending me also speaks in your favor. Until I have agreed to a successor, you will stand as interim Supreme Commander. You will need some experience in the logistics and command of the military. I have... foreseen it..."

* * * * *​

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The Concordia dropped out of hyperspace at Keskin just a few hours after [member="Marzena Choi"] had come aboard. While Pierce Fortan was dispatched to collect the singer from her state room, Natasi stood in front of the Frontrunner, staring at the vessel with wide, vacant eyes. Her mind was swimming, overloaded with information. The moment she had become interim Supreme Commander, she had been given the most intricate and complex security briefing of her life, going over the readiness condition of every section of the First Order military. The young woman had been almost completely overwhelmed, but had been grateful that she had had something to focus on besides obsessively checking Vaas' medical condition.

It felt wrong, somehow. It felt... invasive. She loved Ludolf Vaas, and some part of her always would, come Marzena Choi, come Darrel Irani, come the families that Natasi and Ludolf would build with other people. It was something within her very being that she could not change or switch off, no matter how much all parties would prefer it. She knew that her very presence was offensive to Marzena, and she also knew that Vaas would probably prefer not to see her. They weren't exactly friends, these days.

Natasi wore a simple, conservative black knee-length dress and a black trenchcoat, her black alligator-skin handbag hanging at her right elbow, and black leather gloves covering her hands. She had foregone the veiled hat for practical purposes, but otherwise she was the picture of Galidraani mourning. With Vaas injured and Kalast presumed dead, she had much to mourn. Besides, black would work best for the First Order military establishment. The facility they were going to was a secured, classified military hospital. Natasi had a pair of sunglasses in her other hand to slip on when they arrived on the surface. She glanced at her watch; a few more minutes until they were scheduled to leave, but Natasi was anxious, tapping her fingertips on her wrist nervously.

 

[Ludolf Vaas]

The body of Ludolf Vaas was cradled in a hospital bed entangled in wire. Beneath his white blanket, the Field Marshal had been stripped of his shirt, his chest instead dotted with sensors attached to wires that monitored his vital signs. His icy blue orbs were nowhere to be found, hidden behind closed eyelids. His head had been tilted back slightly, to make room for the breathing tube that kept him alive for the moment. Beside him, the two doctors who had just finished his surgery stood above him, surveying their work.

"The brain chip was difficult to work around," One doctor said to the other. "I've never seen anything like it."

"The One Sith were unnecessarily cruel masters," The other doctor mused. "How do you think it will affect his recovery?"

"Your guess is as good as mine. Again, I've never seen anything like it before. It could have no effect at all... or it could leave him braindead."

The other doctor moved to the foot of Ludolf's bed and made a few notes on the holopad there. "We'll reassess when he wakes, then?"

"Yes. When - and if - Field Marshal Vaas wakes from the coma, the extent of his injuries will be apparent. We need to make sure this area is highly secure when that happens."

"Exactly."

The only sound in the room then was the continuous, slow beep from the heart monitor announcing Ludolf's pulse. Somewhere behind Vaas' blank, expressionless face, the fire of life burned.

[member="Natasi Fortan"] [member="Marzena Choi"]

 

[Marzena Vaas]

There was a soft knock on the door; the sound brought Marzena Choi out of a deep and sudden sleep. Had it all been a terrible dream? For a moment she squeezed her eyes shut, refusing to open them to face the harsh and cold reality. In the solitude of her state room, she had spent the last few hours crying, praying, and clinging onto a thin thread of hope. She couldn’t even guess how long she had been asleep, but it had felt like she had only just closed her eyes. Slowly, she pushed herself up and perched on the edge of the sofa. Almost immediately, she was filled with worry, her heart beating fast within to keep up with the rush of emotion that threatened to overtake it.

Another knock fell upon the door, this time followed by the muffled voice of Captain Fortan.

Marzena stood quickly, and pulled the door open with an unsteady hand. It was almost time to leave. She gave a nod and followed along behind Pierce, her eyes watching his polished shoes moving along the floor. Before they rounded the corner, her dark glasses were already in place, covering eyes that were sore, red, and tired. She had left home in such a hurry that she had not even bothered to think about her outfit; perhaps, for the first time ever. It was the least of her worries at the moment. The singer’s small frame was clad in a black jersey dress, the dark color and the flowing cut cleverly concealed the small swell of her stomach beneath.

It wasn’t long before they reached the hangar, her gaze immediately found the Grand Moff standing silhouetted against the Frontrunner. Her heart felt like it was about to burst, and she silently pleaded for it to be calm. Her hands came together in front of her, and without realizing it, she touched the ring on her finger. It was a lasting reminder of his love, and the promise of a future together – something to hold onto. For the moment, she had managed to hold the tears at bay, just barely.

Marzena stepped up to [member="Natasi Fortan"], instantly searching the other woman’s face.

“Have you heard anything?” She whispered, clearly desperate for any news of [member="Ludolf Vaas"].

 

[Natasi Fortan]

Natasi glanced sidelong at [member="Marzena Choi"] as the singer came parallel to her. "No," Natasi said bluntly. "There's no change. But you can get a first-hand update shortly. Shall we?" Natasi inclined her head and squared her shoulders, then marched up the ramp onto the Frontrunner. A Navy steward greeted her with a salute.

"Welcome aboard, Your Excellency. Ms. Choi. Our flight time this afternoon will be roughly twenty-eight minutes and the weather on the surface is a humid twenty-one centigrade," the Navy steward explained. "Per your request, ma'am, the most recent copies of the Dosuun Review, Dispatch, and The Palace Insider are laid out in the observation lounge. Can I offer refreshments for the journey?"

"Coffee," Natasi ordered. "Korribean Caf to go, please. And whatever Ms. Choi and Captain Pierce require. Ms. Choi," she said coolly, turning to the singer with an arm outstretched towards the stairs behind them. "The observation lounge is right up here, if you'd like to make yourself comfortable." Natasi, for her part, strolled up the stairs and into the observation lounge, with its huge wall of transparisteel giving a commanding view of the Concordia's hangar. Pierce, meanwhile, stood with Marzena, ready to assist with whatever she needed.

The Grand Moff settled into an armchair facing the window, leaning on her left arm on the armrest, balancing her chin on the back of her left hand as she stared blankly out the viewports. It was going to be a long, unbearable day.

[member="Ludolf Vaas"]

 

[Ludolf Vaas]

The sun was shining through the window of Ludolf's room. He couldn't see it, but whatever vestiges of conscience were alive in his mind could sense it. He could sense a lot of things; the tubes connected to his veins and his throat, the doctors talking by his bedside, though he still couldn't make sense of what they were saying. His existence had become sensory and intuitive. There were no words to be articulated, only feelings. And then he began to see his surroundings, not through his own earthly icy blue orbs, but through his mind's eye. His vision opened all at once, and he could look around at the objects in the hospital room. He could even look at himself.

And then Ludolf decided that he didn't want to be here anymore. Why would he? The sun was shining and it was a beautiful day outside. So he simply got up from the bed, only when he turned around, Ludolf saw that he'd left his body behind him. The doctors were still in the corner of the room going through papers, but they didn't seem to notice him. All the better, because he didn't feel like being here anymore. He felt like going outside.

So he did. Maybe it was the Force that carried him through the transparisteel glass window and out into the bright sunlight on Keskin, but somehow he got through it. Ludolf looked around. There were so many places to go, and for the first time, Ludolf felt capable of reaching all of them at once. He could feel what it was like to manipulate the Force, to be perfectly in tune with it and all of his surroundings. This was what it felt like to be a Jedi or Sith, he thought, and the feeling was intoxicating. Maybe he would fly today. Maybe he would fly so high he would go into space. Maybe he would just explore forever, and never come back.

[member="Natasi Fortan"] [member="Marzena Choi"]

 

[Marzena Vaas]

Marzena listened as Natasi informed her that there had been no changes to the Field Marshal’s status, and she finally let go of the breath that she had been holding in. Of course, she had been hoping to hear of some kind of improvement, but this would have to do until she could see him for herself. She offered a small nod and followed the Grand Moff up the ramp and onto the Frontrunner.

“Just a bottle of water, please.” Marzena spoke quietly, and turned her attention back to [member="Natasi Fortan"] as she gestured towards the observation lounge. Dark eyes watched as the Grand Moff disappeared up the stairs. With a small shrug, she looked to the side at Pierce. The two exchanged silent glances for a moment, and then took to the stairs themselves, the soft sound of footsteps announced their arrival to the lounge.

She paused before stepping inside, the tips of her fingers brushed against the doorframe. Marzena could see the Grand Moff sitting in thoughtful silence, her chin resting on the back of her hand. The singer steeled her nerves the best she could and moved to take a seat, leaving a few empty chairs between her and Natasi. Her eyes shifted in the direction of the other woman a few times, but then dropped back towards her lap, where her hands were neatly folded.

The quiet room offered the chance to talk, but perhaps now was not the right time.

There were still things that Marzena wanted to express to Natasi, and apologetic words were on the verge of slipping. But she swiveled in her chair, remembering that Captain Fortan was present, even if he appeared to be absorbed in one of the First Order State Media publications. Her hand rose to wipe away a few rogue tears. For now, she would simply wait and try to think positive thoughts for [member="Ludolf Vaas"].

 

[Natasi Fortan]

Natasi was acutely aware of Marzena's emotional response; she felt like she saw every tear, heard every ragged breath, felt every tremor of despair, as deeply as the singer or more so. But she wouldn't allow herself to display them. She had locked her emotions like a bank vault -- partially because she had a lot on her plate and allowing herself to get overwhelmed by emotion would result in sloppiness or otherwise sub-par work performance on behalf of the Supreme Leader, but for the most part it was because of [member="Marzena Choi"] -- or rather, because of Marzena and Ludolf and Natasi, their twisted not-quite-a-triangle. Natasi felt that she was not entitled to feel what she felt -- and certainly much less entitled to show it.

She was not Ludolf's fiance, she was not his lover, she was not even his friend. They were colleagues -- barely. Natasi knew that Marzena was uncomfortable with the knowledge of Natasi's feelings about Vaas, and she was having one of the most difficult days a woman could have. It would be wrong to add to her burdens. Hence, Natasi Fortan was as much of the Ice Queen as she could muster, all sharp lines and icy chill. She shifted in her seat, crossing her legs and clasped her hands on her midsection, staring out the viewport and seeing, without exactly seeing, as the Frontrunner lifted off, went into space, and headed towards Keskin. Natasi sighed heavily, squeezing her eyes shut for a few moments before she finally cracked, and --

"Mar -- that is, Ms. Choi," she said, but broke off as the Steward came in with Natasi's coffee, Pierce's tea, and Marzena's bottled water. Natasi murmured her thanks as she took the coffee and clutched it on her lap. She waited for a few moments as the steward made his exit, then -- not tearing her eyes from the expansive viewports, showing the approach towards, and entry into, Keskin's atmosphere in all its glory -- Natasi said: "Ms. Choi, I don't know what -- what this is, or what Field Marshal Vaas will need in terms of ongoing care. I know nothing about his home, or yours, so I'm really just shooting in the dark here." She paused and cleared her throat. "This is all a roundabout way of saying: I don't want him or you worry about logistics. Anything that is required, the First Order will provide, all you need -- "

There was a slight jolt as the Frontrunner set down at the military airfield. That seemed faster than twenty-eight minutes, but Natasi wasn't going to argue. "Anyway. That's all I had to say. Shall we..." A medical delegation strolled across from the hospital, ready to brief the Grand Moff and Marzena Choi on Vaas' status while leading the pair of women to see the man himself.

[member="Ludolf Vaas"]

 

[Ludolf Vaas]

The medical group scuttled across the landing zone quickly, looking to swiftly intercept [member="Natasi Fortan"] and [member="Marzena Choi"]. At the head was a middle-aged doctor in his forties, with graying hair around his receding hairline. A neatly-trimmed moustache sat below his nose, which housed a long pair of glasses.

"Grand Moff," He bowed respectfully in Natasi's presence. "I'm Doctor Drellik, the head of this facility. I understand you're here to see the Field Marshal."

The engines to the Frontrunner cooled and died behind them, leaving nothing but the sounds of boots on the ground as security personnel swarmed around the ship. The doctor looked as if he had more to say, and he gave Marzena an apprehensive stare.

"Grand Moff Fortan, I don't presume to speak for your knowledge," He stammered, "But this is a top secret military facility, which typically does not allow visitors..."

 

[Natasi Fortan]

The Grand Moff disembarked, instantly sliding a pair of sunglasses on over her eyes before marching across the landing pad to meet with the medical delegation. Natasi did not bow in return but nodded in recognition of his effort. "Dr. Drellik, how do you do? I'm sorry we're meeting under such difficult circumstances. May I introduce Ms. [member="Marzena Choi"], lately of the Ministry of Culture but temporarily transferred to my office for the time being," she lied as she gestured at Marzena smoothly and then began moving towards the entrance to the hospital, a large building of several stories, surrounded by defensive equipment. The point was obvious; she was not interested in waiting around for pleasantries.

"If the circumstances of my visit were typical, Dr. Drellik, you might have a point," said Natasi coldly. "Under the present circumstances, however, you will make an exception for myself and Ms. Choi. I have the appropriate security clearances to provide when we are in a more secure environment." They entered the medical facility and went to the security checkpoint, where Natasi signed herself and Marzena in using Natasi's clearance. "I will accept any responsibility for a breach, though there will not be one," Natasi toled Rellik.

Natasi examined the manifest. "You weren't able to save the doctor, hm? Well, that is tragic. Someone will reach out to his next of kin..." Her voice trailed off as she pulled her sunglasses off, half-glancing towards Marzena. Left unsaid was: when an appropriate cover story is created. "Field Marshal Vaas is on the fourth floor, intensive care, is that right? Very well, take us to him. And give me an update on his status."

[member="Ludolf Vaas"]

 

[Marzena Vaas]

Marzena sat with her eyes closed, tears still escaping from beneath her dark lashes. She remained as still and quiet as she could manage, save for the occasional tiny sob and shuddering breath. Her trembling hands came to rest over her stomach, and she tried to imagine the tiny heartbeat that accompanied her own. Marzena took comfort in knowing that their little one was nestled safely within. It was the thought of their child that gave her a sudden rush of strength, and the will to calm the storm of emotions.

The sound of Natasi’s voice broke into her mind, and her eyes fluttered open again. Marzena sat up straighter, and gave a small nod to the steward as he set a bottle of water into her hand. She moved to the edge of her chair, and turned slightly to see the Grand Moff.

“Thank you, Natasi.” Marzena said, her voice quiet and tight. “I appreciate it – we both do.”

In that moment, Marzena missed Natasi’s friendship more than ever.

But it seemed that they had finally arrived. Marzena hastily wiped at her face and tried her best to make herself presentable. She followed Natasi out to the landing pad, her heart racing as the medical delegation came into view. As the Grand Moff moved forward to speak with them, Marzena stood just off to her side, her head bowed and her hands clasped tightly in front of her dress. Her stomach turned as the doctor commented about visitors.

Marzena felt small, standing there in the Grand Moff’s shadow, with the medical team looking at her disapprovingly, and the security personnel waiting nearby. Behind her dark glasses, her eyes grew wide.

Even now, [member="Natasi Fortan"] appeared perfectly poised and composed; Marzena did her best to follow this example. Her lips parted slightly as Natasi used her own clearance to allow Marzena to enter the medical facility as well. She felt a swell of warmth in her heart, and the deepest sense of gratitude. How could she ever repay this favor?

Marzena felt the grip of anxiety closing in around her throat, and she clenched her fists at her sides as they walked. Her gaze was fixed upon Dr. Drellik, and she stood quietly, her posture ridged with apprehension. Just hold on, you will see him soon.

But she had to wonder, was she ready to see [member="Ludolf Vaas"] in such a state?

 

[Ludolf Vaas]

Dr. Drellik nodded at Natasi's words. It would be one thing if a lower-ranked member of the First Order regime attempted to smuggle an unconventional guest into a top secret military facility, but this was the Grand Moff. Second only to the Supreme Leader himself, along with the Supreme Commander. Drellik wasn't about to question her orders.

"Very well, Grand Moff Fortan. Please, this way."

The doctor led the way inside and to the nearest turbolift. He saw that [member="Marzena Choi"] was visibly upset - Drellik thought that strange. Why would an entertainer be so distraught over the injury to a Field Marshal? Sure, Vaas was an accomplished military leader and by all accounts a war hero, but this woman was more distraught for a deeper reason. The rumors about Ludolf and Marzena's relationship had not reached Drellik in the confines of his medical offices.

"Field Marshal Vaas underwent surgery. The blow to his head was significant, it caused a hemorrhage in his brain," Drellik elaborated as the three of them rode the turbolift. Fortunately, he was quick to try and dispel the doom and dread that hung in the air. "However, I'm pleased to say that we stopped the bleeding. We placed Vaas in a medical coma to ensure that it doesn't return."

The turbolift dinged. They were on the fourth floor.

Drellik led the way down the sterile, white hallways, and towards a door on the right. "He will survive, but the extent to which he will recover all his faculties... well, we just don't know yet. I don't know if either of you were aware, but Vaas has a microchip implanted in his brain. A holdover from his work with the Sith Empire, it seems. If the chip was damaged, it could impair his abilities. We won't know until he wakes up."

Dropping his head, Dr. Drellik pressed the button on the wall to slide the door open. Then both [member="Natasi Fortan"] and Marzena could see Ludolf laying in a bed in the corner of the room, buried under tubes connected to the veins in his arms and a breathing apparatus that went down his throat.

 

[Natasi Fortan]

Natasi stopped outside the door to the ward. She would not continued.

"Dr. Drellik, I assume this facility has secure communications facilities and a secure office somewhere? You will please accompany me to the communications center when this is done to provide a direct briefing to -- to other members of the First Order High Command. I assume, further, that you have security capable of escorting Ms. Choi back to me when she has concluded her visit." She drew herself up to her full height and glanced sidelong at Marzena for a moment and then back to the doctor. "I will look in on the Field Marshal afterwards. This is -- not a good time."

She turned to Marzena. "Well. Here we are. Please remember our arrangement. I'm not going in." She hesitated and then shook her head, closing her eyes to shield them. "He wouldn't want me there and I know you don't either. Please, now is no time to stand on ceremony. Go ahead and take all the time you need." Natasi stepped back to allow the doctor to escort [member="Marzena Choi"] into the ward, clasping her hands around the straps of her handbag so hard they hurt. Only when she was alone in the hallway did she allow herself to inhale sharply and let it out in one shaky breath. Her shoulders trembled as silent sobs wracked her slight frame, and she stepped into the 'fresher a few meters down the hall, and only then did she allow herself to really feel it. But this wasn't a shocking pain, like Marzena was experiencing. Natasi had been feeling it, perhaps slightly less in magnitude, but chronically -- every day -- for months. Today, Marzena had to fear that she might lose [member="Ludolf Vaas"]; For months, Natasi had to grapple with the hard truth that she already had. To add this on top was almost too much to bear.

Almost.

She struggled to collect herself but finally did, then retouched her makeup and powdered her face. When she emerged back into the hall to meet the doctor, Natasi Fortan was perfect again, the face of First Order stoicism.

 

[Marzena Vaas]

“I will – thank you, Grand Moff.” she replied quickly, and bowed her head respectfully.

It was unfortunate that [member="Natasi Fortan"] felt that her presence was unwanted, it was not necessarily true. However, Marzena was unable to summon the words to prove otherwise, her mind fixed on a single point – [member="Ludolf Vaas"]. There was no time to try and mend their broken friendship. It was a bridge that Marzena vowed to repair, but it would have to wait until the waters beneath were not quite so dark and turbulent.

With a last glance over her shoulder, the singer disappeared into the ward.

Marzena’s hand clutched the front of her trench coat; she could feel her heart pounding beneath. The tinted lenses of her glasses helped to soften the blow. From across the room, the man confined to a hospital bed was nearly unrecognizable. But she knew better. A moment later she was at Ludolf’s bedside, and her hand reached up to remove her sunglasses for a better look. Finally, she looked down at the man she loved so dearly, the sight hit her hard. An IV needle pierced a vein on his wrist; sensors were stuck onto his bare skin, his chest rose and fell with the aid of a breathing apparatus.

Slowly, her fingertips gently brushed against the side of the Field Marshal’s cheek. How she wanted to embrace Ludolf and hold him in her arms, but it was nearly impossible with all of the wires and medical equipment surrounding him.

“Ludolf,” Marzena whispered, leaning down to speak next to his ear. “I’m here now.”

She closed her eyes, guarding them against the painful sight, but lingered close to him. Even though Ludolf was seemingly unresponsive, maybe there was still a chance that he knew she was there. Whether it was the sound of her voice, the warmth of her hands now cradling his, or even the familiar scent of her perfume, she hoped that her presence would bring him comfort. Though she felt like she was about to unravel at the seams, she knew that she needed to be strong for Ludolf, and for their child. Gently, she placed a kiss on the back of his hand, and let her hands keep their protective hold around his palm. Her love and affection for Ludolf was endless, but it was something that he already knew.

“Darling, I can’t stay long.” Her eyes darted towards the door. “I love you – I always will. We will get through this. Together.” The tears were back, filling her dark eyes quickly. “Please, come back to us.”

Marzena gave his hand a firm squeeze.

“I will be waiting.”

 

[Natasi Fortan]

An hour later, Natasi stood in front of a bank of monitors in the office she had been assigned. [member="Marzena Choi"] had not left the room, or Natasi would have seen on the monitors viewing the hallway. Her dark eyes stared at the screens for a few minutes more before turning away. She stretched her back and cracked her neck before leaning over her borrowed desk and signing a few documents. She reflected, in retrospect, that it was a terrible shock to Natasi that Vaas didn't sit bolt upright in bed out of some psychic knowledge that Natasi -- a government official and worse, a woman -- was interim Supreme Commander. Her next concern was that, if he did wake up, the shock would send him straight back into a coma.

She drained the last of her coffee and tossed the paper cup in the trash before turning back towards the monitors. There didn't seem to be any movement.

Natasi wondered if Marzena had fallen asleep, or fallen ill. Gritting her teeth, she moved towards the door and strolled back towards the room where they were keeping [member="Ludolf Vaas"]. She stopped on the way to get two paper cups of water, holding them in one hand as she first knocked, then entered the room. "Marzena, I'm sorry to bother you. I thought I'd look in." She walked over to Marzena, quite ignoring the figure of Vaas, and offered one of the cups of water. "Are you..." She stopped, crouched down in front of Marzena, and placed a hand gingerly on her knee. "Marzena, look at me." She tried to look into the singer's face, a ghost of a smile on her lips. "Listen. This? This is nothing. He's going to be fine. When we defected from the One Sith together, he threw himself out of a burning building, hundreds of stories up, onto a rickety shuttle. A bomb went off under him on Skye and he was up and about like it was nothing. It is not possible than some... silly industrial accident can harm him."

The Grand Moff squeezed lightly at Marzena's knee. "He simply would not permit it."

 

[Ludolf Vaas]

Space seemed within Ludolf's grasp as he drifted around in the air aimlessly, observing the military facility from above. Why would he want to go back there when he could simply explore the stars above? Daylight was still alive, with blue skies above, but Ludolf could hear the firmament calling to him. If he left now, and continued to float forever, then he could get lost in the massive expanse of the galaxy. No one would ever find him again. He could spend the rest of his life doing whatever he wanted - he would be master of the stars.

There were voices below - familiar ones - and they pulled on him like a hand grasped around his ankle, trying to tug him back to the ground. Ludolf resisted for a minute, trying to separate himself from them, until the voices began to intertwine in his head, blending together like some sort of strange, smooth harmony. He knew those voices. For a moment they were only aimless sounds in the aether, until images of soft faces appeared before him. Slowly he began to sink back to earth, guided by the voices as if they were the gravity that was pulling him back down.

Ludolf's body was a cold, still mass on the hospital bed, appearing barely alive beneath the complex wiring of tubes and his breathing apparatus. Suddenly, his finger began to curl around Marzena's hand. First very slowly, until gradually he was gripping her soft palm powerfully. Then, his eyes began to open.

[member="Natasi Fortan"]
[member="Marzena Choi"]

 

[Marzena Vaas]

Marzena was perched on the edge of an uncomfortable chair, sitting dutifully next to the hospital bed. Her hand was still wrapped around Ludolf’s, and her dark eyes locked on his motionless form, hardly even daring to blink. And though she was on the brink of total exhaustion, she was determined to remain close to him. The thought of [member="Ludolf Vaas"] waking up to find an empty room was unbearable, she simply had to stay. Her eyelids fluttered and her head bowed forward slightly, silently fighting against sleep. Just as her body began to sway forward, she jolted awake again, her gaze immediately snapped back to the Field Marshal’s face.

She sat dazed, and didn’t even turn her head as [member="Natasi Fortan"] knocked on the door, perhaps she had not even heard. Marzena was mildly aware of the Grand Moff’s presence inside the ward, but was unable to tear her gaze away from Ludolf, until she felt a hand resting gently on her knee. Finally, Marzena turned to see Natasi kneeling in front of her; she took the paper cup with her free hand, and sipped the contents. She focused on Natasi’s voice, almost clinging to the words she spoke.

Marzena had never heard these stories about Ludolf before, he rarely spoke to her about such things.

"Really?" She asked softly, "I never knew..."

Slowly, the corners of her mouth tugged upwards, a flicker of a smile appeared on her face.Natasi’s words had lifted some of the fog, she felt hopeful. The Grand Moff squeezed her knee, and then...

Ludolf began to squeeze her hand.

It was something he had done many times in the past, but it had never felt better to feel his strong grasp around her palm. Marzena stood up quickly, nearly knocking her chair over in the process. She held her breath, watching as Ludolf’s eyelids began to open, the icy blue of his eyes now visible.

“Ludolf,” She spoke softly, her bottom lip quivering. She turned slightly to Natasi, offering a tearful but happy smile.

 

[Natasi Fortan]

Natasi was taken off-guard by [member="Marzena Choi"]'s quick movements, and the Grand Moff found herself falling back onto her rear end as Marzena leaped to her feet. Her dark eyes flashed in irritation as pushed herself up off the floor, brushing her rear end of any possible detritus before processing what she had seen, ordering the events in her mind until they made sense. She turned to see that Ludolf's eyes were open, and she felt an immense wave of relief wash over her. It seemed that she had been right about [member="Ludolf Vaas"] all along -- he was too much a man to let a freak industrial accident slow him down, let alone kill him. Her heart swelled at Marzena's reaction, and she was once again feeling like the outsider, the clodhopper who didn't realize that she didn't belong, sticking out like a sore thumb. She shuffled backwards immediately, doing everything she could think of to remove herself from view, short of ducking into a closet.

As much as she wanted to, she couldn't look away. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't suppress the sensation of gratitude and relief that Vaas was alive. Throughout the ordeal of his injury, she had all but forgotten the hard feelings between them, and she was now, consciously or unconsciously, holding onto the last precious moments where she could feel only joy and forget the ways in which he had damaged her. Like sands in an hourglass, the moments were falling away, and Natasi could feel the bitter chill setting back in.

Still, she could feel pure delight for Marzena, at least. Her lover was alive, the father of her child would be there to raise it. Natasi's eyes filled with tears as she watched Marzena from the shadows of the huge medical equipment behind which she stood. She drew a kerchief from her pocket and wiped her eyes. Idly she wondered if she would ever be that happy -- if anyone would ever hold her hand the way Ludolf held Marzena's. Natasi turned away from the scene, dropping into a disused visitor chair behind the hulking machinery. She pressed the kerchief and her palms against her mouth and nose in a more-or-less successful attempt to silence the emotional outburst that resulted from her instinctive answer.

Natasi didn't want to move, to draw attention to herself, to in any way interrupt the beautiful, agonizing moment that was taking place just two meters away, so she sat with her head bowed, trying not to make a sound, and trying not to overhear.