Private Emotion, Yet Peace: Reality

[Ara Sheridan]

CORUSCANT | JEDI TEMPLE
LATE AFTERNOON | SUNNY
TAGS: Valery Noble

Ara sat at the edge of the temple's garden on the roof with her legs dangling off a low wall around one of the trees. After so much time on Kashyyyk, she had come to realize just how sickly Coruscant was. She had helped to eradicate some of that sickness in the way a Jedi should... but not entirely. And she disobeyed the instructions she was given on what was supposed to have been a simple tail and observation mission. Something a padawan like her could handle.

She was not supposed to engage. She told the Masters and the police exactly what she did. She saw an opportunity to help dozens of people from being shipped offworld and sold into slavery in the Outer Rim. Her actions, and that of Kayl Krayt , saved over a thousand people. For all intents and purposes, she was a hero who had to act according to the situation she found herself in. It was the only reason she wasn't in trouble again. But she didn't tell them the whole truth. She didn't admit to the circumstances around those who were found with severe lightsaber wounds. Or rather, she didn't tell the whole truth around them.

She butchered them when she could have found a more peaceful alternative. She cut them down where they stood because she chose to.

This was only the most recent event that hung heavily on her mind. The freshest.

With her guitar in hand, Ara's fingers danced along the strings in a melody reflecting her overall mood. The tune picked up in intensity as a frown set in until finally she hopped off and spun the guitar around, raising it above her head. But she stopped before she could do the unthinkable. She took a deep breath and sat down again, continuing to play her song. "How the kriff is it this hard not to screw up, huh?" She asked nobody in particular as she stared out over the city before her, the sun's golden rays blanketing the city in a beautiful spectacle. The longer she stared, the more she managed to calm down.

She loved the rooftops. It felt like there was nothing judging her. Like the whole of Coruscant was listening to her play. It was why she had been coming to that very spot for the past week or two.

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant

​

Outfit: Factory Link
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Ara Sheridan

"It sounded pretty good to me."

Ara had been fairly absorbed in her music and the frustration that followed, so Valery had quietly made her approach and tried her best not to startle the young woman. It had been quite a while since they were really able to talk one-on-one, and after everything that happened, she felt they both needed it.

Before the incident with Miri at the Temple opening, Valery had done her best to guide Ara whenever she could, and that was never going to stop. She had proven that she had changed, and even if other things along the way got her to struggle, Valery held high hopes for a good future for the Zabrak.

"Mind if I join you? It's... been too long," she said before a warm smile touched her lips.

"I'm happy to see you again, Ara."

 

[Ara Sheridan]

Ara jumped in her seat at the sound of the voice behind her. She immediately knew who it was before she even had to look behind her. The one person she had always looked up to for guidance, the one person whose disappointment in her hit hard enough to cause a search for purpose within herself.

"Master! I..." She carefully set her guitar aside and got up to face her, brushing some hair back behind her horns as she straightened up.

There she was.

Twice they were literally a few feet from each other since Ara got back to the temple, twice they didn't have the chance to talk to each other. First the hearing, then that raid. But there she was now. With nothing to interrupt them or get in their way.

Ara looked down at herself as a nervous smile took hold. In contrast to the squeaky clean Master, Ara was a mess. The top of her dirty jumpsuit was tied around her waist, exposing a tank top that didn't look much better. Electrical tape was wrapped around parts of her fingers and arms where she was caught by some kind of ship component. Grease marked her hands in near-permanent stains where it set in along her skin. She looked like a mess.

"It's good to see you too, master. I, uh... I haven't had a chance to catch a shower and get some clean threads on." She nervously explained as she patted herself down and looked up to the woman, though her gaze quickly diverted as a guilty laugh escaped her. "Nah... that's a lie... I skipped on showering to play some tunes before I go off to study." She admitted wuth a shrug. Her green eyes stared up at Valery's fiery gaze for a moment. "Kark it."

She lunged at the woman and wrapped her arms around her in an embrace far tighter than she previously could muster. Between her training and the harsh community work, her frame had a lot more definition to it since the last time they saw each other, albeit with the tone befitting her current work. She held onto Valery for a moment as a massive grin adorned her features. "I've missed you, master. I've legit missed you." Sje admitted before she pulled back with a glimmer in her eyes.

When she let go, she picked up her guitar and scooted up to give Valery some room... and to spare her the unsuitable odour. "I..." She started, but she didn't have a clue where to begin. Things haven't really been uphill in all aspects for her over the last few months. "I kinda owe Iris ten thousand credits." She decided to admit as she lightly tapped the guitar.

"My old one's neck broke when you sent my stuff to my mom. I never got a case for it, so that one's on me. But yeah... Iris helped me out with this one. She insists it's a gift but I'm gonna pay her back." She continued with a chuckle as she looked at the woman.

Valery Noble

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant

​

Outfit: Factory Link
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Ara Sheridan

"Don't worry, you look just fine," Valery said with a bright smile. Just looking at Ara again without them both having to focus on a battle or things in their surroundings, Valery could feel herself choking up just a little. The young Zabrak wasn't her Padawan but in many ways, it felt as if she was. So to see her smiling again and to hear her laughing was an amazing feeling — a stark contrast to that day she had to escort the young woman to the Alliance prisoner ship.

And so much had already changed since then.

Ara seemed to feel similarly and jumped at her for a tight hug, which Valery immediately returned. Her arms wrapped around the woman and she just held her close for an undetermined amount of time. "I've missed you too, Ara. I'm so glad that you're back with us, and you look great." She wasn't just referring to her progress physically — it was more so about how she smiled and seemed to feel again.

"I'm glad Iris stayed with you as well," Valery then added while she moved to sit beside Ara and look across the beautiful Coruscant skyline. She had never really preferred this planet over the quieter worlds such as New Cov, but there was no denying its beauty from heights like this.

"Sorry about the guitar, but I'm glad you got a new one." She looked at Ara and chuckled along, "If you want to pay her back or do something in return though, maybe some painting supplies? She doesn't need much to be happy but anything to help her creativity, I'm sure she'll love."

 

[Ara Sheridan]

Hearing her kind words simply drew a bigger smile from the Zabrak. She knew that her chsnces of making things right with Master Valery were far better than the rest. It still wasn't easy for her, but she knew that Master Valery would understand where she was coming from, at least to some degree.

"Yeah, I mean... the money really ain't the issue. It'll take time but it's doable. My issue is the weight of it. She knows how much music means to me... and she just bought it. There was no hesitation or nothing. I want to return that favour." She admitted softly as she lightly played a tune for them. "Master... I'm sorry." She admitted. "For everything I did. The gala, the disappointment, the wasted time, hurting you, Iris, everybody... I'm trying to be better. It's hard, keeping a lid on and..." She looked away as the memories resurfaced. "Doing the right thing. But I'm trying. I ain't got illusions that I'll be the next Obi-Wan Kenobi or something... but I wanna be a good Jedi at least. I want to make you, my mom... everybody else proud." Sje admitted with a faint smile.

Clearing her throat, she shifted to play a different melody. "That's enough sappy stuff from me... what's been happening while I was gone? I've only been hearing rumours, most people don't wanna talk to me. Heard something about you, and something about Iris standing a chance at a promotion?" She asked with a smile.

Valery Noble

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant

​

Outfit: Factory Link
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Ara Sheridan

"Iris has always been a source of brightness for others," Valery said with a soft smile. It wasn't surprising to her at all that Iris had bought her the instrument — it was exactly what she expected from her. But it was still a nice gesture that Ara wanted to do something in return as well. In these trying times, having good friendships like this could make all the difference.

"I know that you're sorry, Ara, and while it might take some time to mend things with some people, I'm sure they will all learn to forgive." She smiled and paused for a moment to just look at the young Zabrak. "You know I have forgiven you, right? I know everything has been difficult, but I promise that I never lost hope in you. I'm sure Iris didn't either, even if she was upset for a while after what happened."

Valery then turned her gaze back to the skyline as the melody changed, and a question was asked that really forced her to think hard for a moment. "That's right, I just recently knighted Iris. Maybe when you see her next to give her the gift, congratulate her. She'll appreciate it," she said with a smile that quickly turned a bit more somber.

"But not all news has been good. What you've heard as rumors..." she frowned, "Kahlil died. I lost my husband." Valery swallowed but quickly looked at Ara to offer a faint smile that showed she was okay. "I've made my peace with it, especially after I got a chance to talk to him."

 

[Ara Sheridan]

"I know that you're sorry, Ara, and while it might take some time to mend things with some people, I'm sure they will all learn to forgive."

"You know I have forgiven you, right? I know everything has been difficult, but I promise that I never lost hope in you. I'm sure Iris didn't either, even if she was upset for a while after what happened."

Ara looked away for a long moment. "I don't want to assume anything. I'd rather say sorry straight up and know you forgive me than just carrying on and thinking the wrong stuff." She admitted softly. "But I'm glad we're cool, Master. I don't want to have something happen again." A warm smile formed as she looked at her. She continued with her gentle melody as she looked over the city ahead of them. She felt better. Lighter.

Things were good between them again.

"That's right, I just recently knighted Iris. Maybe when you see her next to give her the gift, congratulate her. She'll appreciate it,"

"But not all news has been good. What you've heard as rumors..."

"Kahlil died. I lost my husband."

"I've made my peace with it, especially after I got a chance to talk to him."

At least it was until she heard that. Ara's eyes went wide and the music stopped as she looked back at Valery. "Wait... what?" She muttered with a very confused look. A mixture of emotions washed over her. Guilt, regret, shock... anger. "Master Kahlil... died... and Iris got Knighted?" Her brow furrowed into a hard frown as she gripped the neck of her guitar, the chords rubbing together to produce a distorted whine with gaining intensity. "When did this happen?" She continued as she set her guitar aside and stood up.

With a deep, shaky breath she paced around for a moment. "Why didn't anyone tell me? I'm here, everyone knows Iris is probably, like, my best friend or something... they know I care about you and I'll bend over backwards for you... but I never heard a word of it. Karkin' hell, that ain't something you keep quiet about." Her voice was shaky with anger as she stared at Master Valery with disbelief. "Is that how little I mean to people?! They park my ass in the hangar, make me work like a slave all day, get my arm broken and my eyes burnt to hell and back... and nobody in this damn temple got the common karkin' courtesy to at least tell me any of this?" She threw her arms in the air as she continued to pace around, trying hard to calm down.

"What the kriff's the point of me comin' back, then?! People don't need to like me, but can I at least get treated like a Jedi and not like some Ugnaut slave labourer?!" Her grease-stained hands ran through her hair as she took another shaky breath. "What happened, master? Are you doing okay, is there anything I can do for you?" She asked with a good amount of sincerity as she faced the Master again with a combination of frustration and guilt.

Valery Noble

 

[Valery Noble]

Coruscant

​

Outfit: Factory Link
Appearance: Link
Weapons: Lightsaber
Tag: Ara Sheridan

"We're cool," Valery said in response with a smile. Ara showed a lot of maturity in the way she actively apologized, rather than moving on without pushing through those potentially difficult barriers by assuming how others felt about what happened. How they felt about her.

It made her feel confident that nothing would happen again, and that everything was going to be alright. Only bringing up some big news Ara had clearly missed sparked just a little bit of doubt again. She could understand people hadn't told her about Kahlil, as they may have wanted her to hear it from Valery herself, but it was a little surprising that Iris' Knighting hadn't reached her.

"Kahlil was killed a while ago, but Iris was knighted only very recently," she said with a slight frown after she felt the emotional changes within Ara. "They may not have told you about Kahlil because it's a difficult subject, and one they may have preferred me talking to you about. As for Iris... I'm not sure - people have a lot on their minds, but I don't believe there's something malicious behind it, Ara," Valery hoped to assure her.

Luckily, after taking a deep breath and taking a moment, Ara did seem more composed again. "I got in a very bad situation during an infiltration mission within the Empire. My shuttle was shot and I was badly injured, so I could hardly protect myself anymore. Knight Rakaan Horne and I wouldn't have made it but... Kahlil stepped in." She frowned briefly, then smiled again. "I'll be okay though, I've been able to talk to Kahlil after it happened, and that really helped me move forward in life again."

"As for you... I want you to focus on yourself. On your friends and continue your training. Don't worry about me."

 

[Ara Sheridan]

Ara stared directly at Master Valery as she spoke, tried to calm the Zabrak down and reassure her that everything was fine. That it was likely just an accident... and that Valery was fine after being able to talk to her late husband. That bit caught Ara's curiosity. "Talk to him? How? Through the Force?" She looked away as she blinked. "Huh... didn't know you could do that." She admitted.

Her gaze quickly returned to the Master as she tried to brush aside Ara's concern for her. "We're Jedi, master. Worrying about others is what we do." She joked as she sat down again. "You're always worrying about me, it's only fair if I worry a bit about you." She smiled at the Master for a moment before looking away. "But I am... working on myself, I mean. The work in the hangars is hard. I burnt my eyes the other day with degreaser, literally went blind. Amani luckily managed to heal me up, but I didn't get a chance to thank her. But I don't complain. I deserve it after what I did, so I ain't gonna talk smack of any of it. I also managed to hit up Jasper and say sorry to him, he's actually a super cool dude. But... the thing that's bothering me is the other padawans." Her smile was gone as she looked at Valery.

"They... don't want me here, it feels like. That's why I'm angry that nobody told me about Iris, it's been feeling like they want me out of the order or something. I made mistakes. I'm still making mistakes... and I'll probably make more again. But I'm trying to be a good Jedi. They're just... making it really hard. What's worse is that I haven't heard back from Master Sol'yan since I got back. It's hard to stay calm and work on myself and be better when it's feeling like nobody aside from you and a few others give a shit." She looked away again and checked the time on her datapad.

Her eyes went wide and she immediately stored her guitar in its case before facing master Valery. "Kriff, uh... I'm late with Force training. It's been really good catching up with you Master, I'll try and swing by your room after if you wanna. Also think you still got my old datapad I gave you." She picked up her case as she spoke with a nervous voice, clearly worried about running late.

Valery Noble