Private Dynasty

[Kaalia Pavanos]

A heart to heart with Darth Daiara
Dynasty

​

There was a time when Kaalia saw Aradia as an apprentice, and nothing more than an apprentice. She'd see to her growth until she was strong enough to stand on her own two feet, and cut her loose. It was nothing more than a deal struck between a Sith lady and a former slave; one would be a teacher, the other promised to make something of herself with her newfound freedom. Family and Sith were separate, exactly as Kaalia had wanted it to be.

Time did as time did, however. Things changed and Kaalia found herself caring about her apprentice more than was proper for a Sith master. At first, she did as she thought was right and reinforced the divide she had created. All it had taken for that wall to come crashing down, though, was Ishana Pavanos actually getting to know Aradia. The talks Ishana and herself had about her apprentice made Kaalia realize she had become more attached to the girl than she had originally wanted. Right at a time where she was actively distancing herself from the Sith Empire and the Sith as a whole, she found herself wanting to be more than just a Sith teacher to Aradia.

Ishana wanted to adopt the girl and when Kaalia looked inside her own soul, she had to admit that she too had that feeling. She wanted to be like a mother, not a master and while it had taken convincing, that's where she stood with Aradia now. Something she was thankful for.

The shift had brought changes with them, of course. Aradia was no longer in a separate accomodation but lived with the rest of the family; even if she didn't want to, she'd find that she didn't have much of a choice in the matter. Family sticks together, something Kaalia had learned when she herself became part of the Pavanos family. She hadn't just married her wife, she had to accept the rest of the family along with her.

One upside for Aradia was that Kaalia was suddenly a lot easier to find. Not only did they share a roof now, she'd also find that the woman was much more willing to drop whatever she was doing to be there for her than before. So when Aradia came up to Kaalia while she was busy in the kitchen, she set down the mixing bowl and turned her attention to her adopted daughter. The look on Aradia's face said it all.

"You have something to get off your chest, I can see it. Want to go take a walk?"

 

[Darth Daiara]

The shift had not come so easily to Aradia. It would have, if had come just a year earlier. Or after Bastion, when Aradia confessed to missing her Master when she laid on her death bed.

Now, however, Aradia found it hard. The coping mechanisms she had used to adapt to the warfront had levied their toll, the budding woman standing awkwardly in the doorway. Kaalia had trained her to need no one-- to be a weapon of her own device.

Weapons, like all metal, took time to warm to touch.


She cleared her throat, stepping in. "No, it's ok. No need to stop what you're doing..." She pulled herself towards the counter, taking a set in the stool Kaalia had lowered her into that day after Bastion. Her pulse thudded in her ears, a draw towards something tugging at her core. Just like it had that day with the apple. It was growing more insistant now, the pull gaining strength as she too grew stronger in the force. She clenched her fists, snapping herself out of it.

"I have something to tell you," she asserted, quick and unabashed.

"I broke orders. I went to the front line. I fought for the Empire. ...Twice." She looked down, her knuckles clenched white as she went on to clarify, unable to hold it in any longer.

"My ship was never really broken in Bespin, I was at Bastion. And then Ziost. I tried to help the academies there. I couldn't look the other way. I got injured. I lied further to allow the bacta to mask it. I did not buy a new engine for my ship. The credits are unspent in the hull of my ship."

Her whole frame nearly shook it was clenched so tight. If there was one thing to know about Aradia, it was that she did not like to disappoint. Breaking rules to this extent was utterly unheard of for her.

But she was braced for the consequences.

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

A heart to heart with Darth Daiara
Dynasty

Despite the fact Aradia saying otherwise, Kaalia took the mixing bowl and walked over to the fridge. "This dough isn't going anywhere," she remarked as she popped the door open with a tug through the Force and slid it in. "You have something to tell me, so I will listen." No task was taken more seriously than the task of being a parent. That meant many things, including having the patience to be there when your child needed an ear. The woman had nothing of importance on her agenda today, and so if Aradia needed all day she'd get all day.

Kaalia took out a bottle of water before shutting the fridge door. A cabinet door was flipped open and two glasses were taken out, one of which was put down in front of Aradia. Afterwards, Kaalia pulled up a seat next to her adoptive daughter and sat down. "Alright, tell me what's bothering you," she inquired, pouring Aradia's glass full before moving on to her own. The explanation quickly followed, which Kaalia wouldn't interrupt. She spoke of breaking orders, and hiding the truth. It was definitely surprising to hear; Aradia had never done such things before.

If she was expecting dire consequences, though, she was going to be waiting for a long while.

"Before anything, Aradia, you're an adult. You can make your own decisions," Kaalia began. Especially now that the nature of their relationship had changed, she had no intention to make every decision for her. "If you believe in the empire and want to fight for it, you should. That said, your own wellbeing always goes first. Understood?" If there was one non-negotiable thing, it was that.

"What bothers me more is that you believe you have to hide things from me." There was a heavy layer of disappointment in her tone. It had been difficult to get Aradia to understand she got to be her own person, unbound by anyone's demands. When Kaalia had taken her off the front lines, it was a revocation of her order given as a Sith master. She had even told her that she could still go if she truly desired to. She wasn't even her master anymore, nor did she want to be. Her intention was to be a mother and a teacher.

"Still, you are honest now. That means more to me. Don't forget you are family now, and family support each other." It felt unnecessary to say, but it was important to really make Aradia understand that fact. She showed no anger, though, nor was she angry. Trust took time to build and she was willing to put in the work.

 

[Darth Daiara]

Aradia's brows furrowed, her amber-touched eyes skimming her master's face. No, not master. Mother.

Her discomfort grew more severe, the girl's shoulder's curling in on themselves on that stool. It took years for the corruption of the darkside to show in one's eyes, but hers had started to show the faintest rim around her irises. The blue hues shined with conflict, the path she walked not easy.

But they both knew that.

"You're different," she finally stated, wiping her sweaty palms on her knees.

"Than the Academies. Than the Empire. ....Thanmyothermasters." She had never spoken about them before. Not once. Still, moving forward often meant moving through one's past. She never understood Kaalia. That was amplified by this moment.

"I didn't listen to you. I lied. Aren't you going to do something about it?" She challenged. It was almost as if she wanted Kaalia to. Pain made sense. Anger and consequence made sense.

Forgiveness?

"I disobeyed you. And I could do it again. Why not, you're not gonna do anything about it. I could do anything!" She instigated, prying for more than Kaali's calm reaction.

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

A heart to heart with Darth Daiara
Dynasty

"I'm not supposed to be. Especially now."

Perhaps, in the eyes of many Sith, Kaalia was supposed to be just like them. The oppressive master who kept taking everything away until the apprentice was powerful enough to forcefully take it back. She was never much like her peers and took pride in that. Despite her differing views, she had accomplished great things, the very thing that made her the Lady of Defiance. It wasn't about spitting in the face of another, it was to know one's own path and walking it regardless of outside influences. Kaalia, as a master, had taught Aradia in what she believed to be the best way. It wasn't perfect, she had to learn how to be a teacher, but it was always with Aradia's best interests in mind.

Now, however, things were even different from that. She wasn't her master anymore. Just like Kaalia had told Aradia at the restaurant, she'd be her teacher in the ways of the Force for as long as the girl wanted her to be, but there would be no more directives. No more orders to be followed. Kaalia's primary focus was no longer to see Aradia to become power. It was to see her become happy. That would take work, but the woman hadn't shied away from that before. She wouldn't start doing so now.

Then that word came around again. Disobeyed. The word should've left Aradia's vocabulary the moment she joined the family, but change was once again slow. Kaalia's brow furrowed as she directly looked into her adoptive daughter's eyes.

"Aradia. That's the point. You're not under any orders. Not now, not ever again. That's all in the past," the woman explained in the most direct tone she'd ever used with her. "As your mother, my job is to make sure you're well. I will always be here for you, I will give advice where you need it, and provide a home for you. But I will never decide what your life should look like for you. You and you alone are in charge of that."

Something seemingly so simple had been incredibly difficult to get across.

 

[Darth Daiara]

Aradia's brows furrowed, the girl growing half frustrated, half flustered by the woman's words.

"I-"

"But-"

They were hard concepts for her to digest. Concepts that had never been hers to have as slave, or an apprentice. She had succeeded in those roles because she had adapted and accepted what life had to offer her. Freedom was never it, even if that had been the end goal of an apprentice under a master.

"How will I get anywhere if you don't push me? I need you to tell me what to do." Her words came out in frustrated huffs, seeking the very things from Kaalia that had left her dissatisfied with the Academies as of late. She was walking the line between acolyte and something more. She just didn't know it yet.

"The jedi are out there. And they're not holding back. You can't hold back on me Kaalia. If I fail, they'll be at your doors next." And that was why she couldn't stop. Even if she couldn't put it to words, the new daughter of the family was a lot more like Kaalia than she knew.

"I can't be like your other daughters. I need you to-- I'm ready for more training. The real stuff, Kaalia. The hard stuff."

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

A heart to heart with Darth Daiara
Dynasty

It was to be expected that Aradia was going to be much different from Kaalia's other children, something Ishana and herself knew very well as they had come to their decision to adopt. It wasn't the stubborn, and more fittingly defiant, attitude, every child in the household had that in spades, but the way it manifested was wholly different. Kaalia had to play it all by ear, too. There was no manual to read and no step-by-step plan to follow. All she could do was share all the wisdom she had and remain firm in her demeanor. Aradia was an adult already, after all.

"You have a fire, right here," Kaalia answered, pressing a finger against her own chest where her heart was located. "You believe in something. That fire is a thousand times more potent in driving your strength than any ruthless master could even dream of being." For Kaalia, it had never been those oppressive masters who made her strong. It was her defiance against them that got her to where she was now. Where that passion came from was entirely irrelevant.

"And deep down, you already know that. You didn't need my directive to take up arms against the New Imperials." While Aradia showed impatience and became upset, she remained calm. It was becoming a recurring pattern.

Kaalia took a good sip from her glass, taking the moment to collect the words she wished to say in her mind. It was easy to say something that Aradia would take the wrong way and that was to be prevented if at all possible. The girl needed to know that worrying about the family's well-being in that regard wasn't needed, though. That it was for Kaalia to worry about, not her. Not now, not ever.

"By the time anyone comes knocking on our door here, we'll all be long gone," Kaalia calmly explained. "Ishana and I have had an exit strategy in place for years. No matter what happens to the empire, the Pavanos family will always have a safe place to call home." The plans and routes were double-checked regularly, too. Kaalia didn't take any unnecessary risks.

"It isn't your responsibility to keep the family safe. It's Ishana's and mine. It's our job to make sure you, Xariah, Xarielle, Azarin, and Gideon all have everything they need to grow and eventually forge their own path." It was the one responsibility Kaalia would always place above everything else. "I will continue teaching you for as long as you want me to. If you decide to go to war for what you believe in, you have my blessing. But understand that if you fight, you must do so for your goals and beliefs. I refuse to let you carry a burden that rests on my shoulders." She was deadly serious about that.

"Think on why you fight. If those reasons aren't yours, then my advice is to reconsider going to war. I will teach you what I know of the Force regardless, but I want you to ask yourself a question. Do you want to fight and potentially die for this empire?"

 

[Darth Daiara]

Aradia's recoiled, Kaalia's final question throwing her.

"The Empire? No. Kaalia, no offense but the empire is messed up. Have you been to those academies? Do you know what's happening?" A stupid question and a bold set of words for a previous head of the empire, but Aradia said them all the same.

"They have the Acolytes fight. It's teens trying to hold the place against adult jedi, and it's slaughter. And- and why? It's just a building. It's just a planet. So much of our blood is being spilt for land-- empire land. And the jedi take it anyways. We should be conserving our strength. We should be condensing-- gathering-- making a final stand somewhere, anywhere. Instead we evacuate the texts and leave the acolytes to the same fate, time and time again.

It was a flawed thought precess founded on a misunderstanding of battle and war, but her sentimate remained-- "I refuse to be their pawn anymore."

"The Empire doesn't care about us. I can't.... not .... care," she confessed, pulling the skin around her temple. Head feel into her arms, muffling her voice.

"...I can't sleep. I see it in my dreams-- It's all I can think about--"

Kaalia was right. She was obsessing.

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

A heart to heart with Darth Daiara
Dynasty

There was a time when Kaalia would've told Aradia she was getting emotional again. Now, however, as the woman listened, all she did was listen silently. Her eyebrows furrowed at the sight of the damaged girl. A sight that confronted Kaalia with the fact she had made great mistakes over the years. She should've never sent Aradia to war, to fight for an empire the Sith lady believed she could still change. Where once Kaalia had grown by walking the Sith path, Aradia was suffering from it. Another realization that disconnected her further from the last title she still held onto.

Aradia would feel a hand on her upper back. There was no judgment, no correction to her words. Those things didn't matter right now. In fact, Kaalia agreed with her views on the academies. It wasn't what she believed the Sith should be, though her opinions mattered little now.

"I'm sorry." There was a certain solemnity to her voice.

"The empire isn't what it used to be anymore. When we built it, there was a sense of brotherhood. We put aside our differences to create something that was ours, in defiance to the powers that were. A home." That brotherhood was gone. The old faces slowly faded, and the new ones didn't know the struggles that forged the empire. Complacency and needless brutality had taken deep root.

"I was wrong to make you fight for it. I believed I could still bring about change. I was wrong." This wasn't the Kaalia Aradia knew. This was a side only her family got to see.

"You don't have to fight for them. And you shouldn't when this is what it does to you."

Kaalia had been debating the decision for a while now. Seeing Aradia like this was the thing that made the choice crystal clear. She was done.

She was abandoning the Sith.

 

[Darth Daiara]

Aradia's head slowly pulled up, her brows pulling in as she took in the foreign words. "...Master?" she uttered, sensing the shift inside the woman. Kaalia had never apologized to her before, not beyond an accidental bump or yank on the training room, there had never been a reason for the elder to give account to how her pupil felt.

Emotions were never entertained. In fact they were quite often discouraged. Aradia knew she was being emotional in this moment, she didn't know what made it bleed out of her. She did know that the set of words Kaalia had to offer didn't feel right.

Had she taken it too far? Whined too much?

"I'm fine," she insisted, Kaalia' shift leading her to back peddle. "I can handle it. I'm just-- I'm learning how. I'll get better, I'll get like you." Her eyes skimmed the woman, the concern unceasing as she tried to place what she had sensed.

"I just-... I think you're right. There's no point in investing in something that doesn't give back. I need to find a way to stop the jedi without..."

Well that was just the thing. She didn;t know how to finish that sentence. She barely knew her own thoughts, dissecting Kaalia's was another task in itself.

"What have you just decided," she asked bluntly.

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

A heart to heart with Darth Daiara
Dynasty

​

Master. That word again. Kaalia wouldn't scold Aradia for it now, but it did cut a little. "That's who I was. No more of that," the woman swiftly interjected. She wasn't expecting her to call her 'mom' right away, but at least that accursed word needed to go. Still, she couldn't force change. It had to come from Aradia herself.

Patience. That was the thing Kaalia needed to show. Aradia had been given the space to show her emotion, she just needed to find comfort in occupying it. If she didn't do that right here, that was okay. The girl had all the time in the galaxy. There was just one thing she said that Kaalia couldn't let Aradia get away with.

"Don't become like me. Become like you." The hand remained where it was. It was a physical way to show Aradia that she was there for her, not just as a teacher. Her wellbeing was Kaalia's responsibility and she took that seriously. Even if she barely knew what to do about her adoptive daughter's troubles. She'd try everything she could. "It's okay to show emotion. This is a safe place. This is home, Aradia. Things are different now. But- take as long as you need. We will all be patient." The entire family would be there for her. A promise that had been made to her before.

But as though Aradia could read her mind, Kaalia found herself being asked a question she didn't know if she was to answer right away. She knew how Aradia reacted to change and it rarely was taken well. A moment of silence passed.

It was more important to be honest.

"I'm stepping away from the Sith."

The title fit her, once. Time had passed, though, and she was no longer that woman she was before. In a way, it felt like a long time coming.

 

[Darth Daiara]

Aradia's lips parted in shock.

"I-"

Her words caught in her mouth, each eaten before they could properly come to life. A thousand thoughts came to mind, ranging from anger, to unsurity, to just pure shock. Had she done something? Had something occurred? Was this even her Master standing before her, or a jedi trick? She had countless questions and each answer made less and less sense. She shrugged off Kaalia's hand, her back straightening into her best rendition of Kaalia's authority pose.

"Why." She demanded, her chin tilting in a subtle challenge. She was use to being shrugged off-- dismissed, patted on the head and left uninformed. In the academies she was owed nothing, not even common explanations. As Kaalia stepped back in their dynamic, she seemed to step forward.

The problems that brought her into opening up to Kaalia suddenly felt moot.

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

A heart to heart with Darth Daiara
Dynasty

​

Kaalia was expecting this kind of answer from Aradia. While the decision had been a long time coming, she had kept all of the hints and nudges towards it to herself. At first the woman thought the inner conflict would pass, but as time went on it only became greater. A choice had to be made between Kaalia and Darth Avacyn. The two had become too polarized.

"I have changed since taking up the title of Sith. The philosophy has not."

Most Sith would have seen her Darth title as an insult had they known Kaalia well enough. That never bothered her, but that did not erase the fact they were supposed to be her peers. While they used their power as an excuse to sow needless death and destruction, Kaalia had slowly come to realize she needed nothing more than she already had. There was no reason left for her to gain even more power, to take from the galaxy.

"The empire is stumbling. They will need more than they have to survive. The Sith collectives rising up to take its place... they made me realize I no longer value the core values of the Sith," Kaalia explained.

"Perhaps I never did. All I wanted was a safe haven for my family. I still do. The difference now is, well, I understand that I don't need the Sith for that. When you don't rule, there's no target on your back."

The worries of yesterday were gone. The galaxy didn't care about the ones who faded away. Kaalia lived in peace, now.

 

[Darth Daiara]

"I dont.... understand," came the slow, meticulous words. "You are Darth Avacyn. Everything you have is because of the sith-- if you turn your back to it--" Well of course Aradia would have to worry about protecting the family. Kaalia was giving up all power, and for what?

"Have you seen the world out there? They will not leave you alone because you put it down, they won't pause long enough to get facts or to care. Kaalia, they kill. Indiscriminately. You can't put it down. You can't put me down, we need this."

Her eyes burned with the intensity that had driven Kaalia to pull her off the front line, the girl lost to the obsessive need for control that Kaalia had put down too late. She reached out, clasping Kaalia's wrist to keep her there. Her grip was tight, matching the tension in her eyes.

"I need this. You can't let it go. I'm not there yet."

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

A heart to heart with Darth Daiara
Dynasty

"The Sith gave me nothing. I gained the power I have by creating it myself. Power isn't given to you."

Perhaps the philosophy pushed Kaalia to do the things she did that grew her power, but breaking off from the Sith wouldn't erase what she already had. The woman was still more than powerful enough to snuff out the life of any average Sith lord or Jedi master looking to get to her.

"I grew up alone. This scar is a reminder of how dangerous this galaxy can be. I had nothing, once," Kaalia continued. "The Sith title isn't what makes you powerful, Aradia. It's your actual mastery of the Force that does. The only thing I am putting down is the connection to a failing empire and a self-destructive order." In fact, breaking her connection with the Sith had made her family safer of all things.

A hand was placed over the one Aradia clasped around her wrist. "I'm getting the feeling you are thinking that I am forsaking my strength. I am not," Kaalia said with a direct tone. "This home is safe and I will do what I must to keep it that way, but I don't need to hold a title. Not when I have nothing left to prove." She had done more than enough to show her strength. From the positions of authority she held and willingly left behind, to her exploits in the name of the empire.

"I am not putting you down. I want to see you grow, that isn't changing. It never will."

 

[Darth Daiara]

Aradia looked on in clear confusion, her spike of fear over change shifting into disorientation. Kaalia had stepped down, to be safe. They moved homes, to be safe. That formula made sense.

This, though, sent her young mind running in circles. The sith were power, at least, that was how she understood it. It was why she agreed to become one. It was why she shouldered the corruption running through her veins. She felt how dangerous it was-- the lull that threatened to pull her under.

It had in the past, its whisper now a song in her mind. But it had always been worth it-- a necessary exchange that she just had to learn how to balance.

Kaalia's words felt like a complete contradiction to everything she had sacrificed. That frightened her.

​

"I am not putting you down. I want to see you grow, that isn't changing. It never will."

"In the ways of the sith," she corrected, her nostrils flaring with emotion. "You want me to grow in ways of Sith-- power above all else. It's what I want, Kaalia. Promise me nothing changes there."

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

A heart to heart with Darth Daiara
Dynasty

​

"In whatever way you wish to grow," Kaalia quickly countered. Aradia was putting words into her mouth, which required her to set the record straight first and foremost. "Whether you fight for an ideal, live a simple life, or simply seek happiness. As long as you don't chase power purely for power's sake." That was the very thing Kaalia had always warned Aradia about. Power without purpose only led to destruction. "And yes, a simple and quiet life is possible. That is how I grew up, in fact." If the Jedi master who raised her hadn't been as restrictive as he had been, Kaalia's life would've been drastically different today.

"I will support you if you decide to continue the path of the Sith. I simply need you to know it is not the only choice you have." Kaalia's hands were pulled back. "And no choice has to be made with haste. Think on what you want, always. In the meantime, know that you always have a home here."

If Kaalia had to tell Aradia something a hundred times before it landed, she'd say it an extra time just to be sure.

 

[Darth Daiara]

Aradia yanked back her hand in turn, her confusion growing clear across her features. She was never one to handle change well, but that was all the last year has been. Strange enough, to her, was how hard it was to adapt to this moment-- to this home. The battlefields were one thing, but here?

It was almost preferable to have someone try to kill her. It was easier to make sense of.

She had forgotten why she even came to the kitchen, Kaalia's reveal leaving her brain fuzzy. She looked around the space, the half prepared lung splayed out on the counter. Aradia had grown use to cooking for herself in her own quarters. Here it was loud. She could hear the other children in another room, their voices melding together in enjoyment over a game.

"I want to train," she interjected, squeezing her eyes shut and shaking it all away. "Now. Together." Those eyes ripped back up, landing on Kaalia challengingly.

The apprentice never demanded training, especially when Kaalia was wrapped up at home, but Aradia did. Her eyes shone with the knowledge that she was out of line, but she did not back down.

Almost as if it was a test.

 

[Kaalia Pavanos]

A heart to heart with Darth Daiara
Dynasty

​

Perhaps a distraction was good for Aradia. A lot had been said and the girl was likely going to need time to process it all. Especially considering the fact Kaalia had promised to continue teaching her, she saw no reason to turn down the request. There was just one little thing the woman had to comment on first. An extra push in, hopefully, the right direction.

"This house is not built on demands. All you need to do is ask." No demands. No power struggles. Those were not the things a healthy family was built on. Kaalia wasn't going to get petty about word choice, however. The wish had come across loud and clear, and as long as Aradia understood that demands simply weren't necessary, there was no point in blowing things up further.

"I still need to keep an eye on the imanhan for now, but I can give you my undivided attention later tonight," Kaalia explained as she got up and peeked around the corner into the living room. The imanhan, 'little ones' in the Kro Varian tongue, were playing there. She would've asked Ishana to watch over them instead, but she wasn't home until later that day.

"I think it's a lightsaber practice day," Kaalia added casually.