Approved Tech Dusksong Mortar

[Vee Toa(Hutt Rep)]

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

• Intent: To provide a Mortar for Vee Toa
• Image Source: Here
• Canon Link: N/A
• Restricted Missions: N/A
• Primary Source: Here

PRODUCTION

• Manufacturer: Vee Toa
• Model: Dusksong Mortar
• Affiliation: Closed-Market
• Modularity: No
• Production: Semi-Unique
• Material: Desh-Terenthium

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS

• Classification: Mortar
• Size: Large
• Length: 1.5 meters
• Weight: 150 kg
• Ammunition Type: 100mm shells
• Ammunition Capacity: 30 rounds
• Effective Range: 80 meters
• Rate of Fire: 1 round every 10 seconds

SPECIAL FEATURES

• Standard sensor suite

DETAILED SPECIAL FEATURES

The Dusksong Mortar includes a Standard sensor suite to help establish firing solutions for indirect fire

STRENGTHS

• Each round has the firepower of a standard proton bomb

WEAKNESSES

• Takes awhile for Vee to sit it up, around 30 seconds each shell

DESCRIPTION

Named after one of Vee Toa's Friends that died, the Dusksong Mortar is, much like a variety of equipment. Depending on the range of the target, Vee can choose to fix Accession on the shells if needed. Given the time needed to sit up the Mortar, it is easy for the Mortar to get defeated in war

 

[Cairyn Midore]

Good day/eve/whatever time you see this. Please consider this under review.

 

[Cairyn Midore]

Please ignore

 

[Cairyn Midore]

Size: Stationary

'Stationary' would be in relation to mobility, not a suitable description for size. Please reword and give me a label for your mortar's length.

Takes awhile for Vee to sit it up

How are you defining 'awile'? Please specify.

Depending on the range of the target, Vee can choose to fix augmentations on the shells if needed.

I'm a bit perplexed with your wording here. 'Augmentation' sounds like you're either changing ammunition as a whole or simply the propellant to influence range. Either way, clarification would be appreciated.

 

[Vee Toa(Hutt Rep)]

"Awhile" is referred to it taking a short time. "Augmentation" is referred to simplifying the propellant to influents made. Edited the corrections that were asked
[member="Cairyn Midore"]

 

[Cairyn Midore]

I gather, but if you're listing it as a weakness, give us a range. Are you talking 30 seconds? A couple minutes? A short time could mean a lot of things. Thanks for clearing things up, though I suggest changing the wording in the submission as well so others aren't confused by 'augmentations' as well. Also, you're still missing a unit for the mortar's length.

[member="Vee Toa"]

 

[Vee Toa(Hutt Rep)]

Also, you're still missing a unit for the mortar's length.

Explain?
[member="Cairyn Midore"]

 

[Cairyn Midore]

Length: 1.2

Are we talking 1.2 meters? Kilometers? Centimeters? That's what I mean by unit.

Also, as mentioned with your other sub, production value shouldn't exceed semi-unique without a company. Apologies for missing that earlier.

[member="Vee Toa"]​

 

[Vee Toa(Hutt Rep)]

Are we talking 1.2 meters? Kilometers? Centimeters? That's what I mean by unit.

Edited
[member="Cairyn Midore"]

 

[Cairyn Midore]

Thank you for working with me on this and I think we're really close. That being said, 1.2 centimeters is tiny. Like, the length of my fingernail tiny. I'd honestly suggest changing it to meters.

With that, look at your weight. Your primary source lists itself as a large weapon weighing 20 kg while your own mortar is listed as a medium weapon weighing 150 kg. That's an over 600% increase in weight, yet it's listed as an overall smaller weapon. Even if you justify that by using denser components, that's an incredibly heavy weapon that should reflect as such in both size and overall proportions/length. Not to mention how are you going to transport that? Are you assembling at the site?

Looking at all of that, your best courses of action would be:

• Lowering the weight and making everything proportional to a medium sized weapon.
• Changing weapon size to large, making note of its weight, and probably adding that as an additional weakness. This would also probably include an increase in length to keep things proportional.

[member="Vee Toa"]

 

[Vee Toa(Hutt Rep)]

Edits made
[member="Cairyn Midore"]

 

[Cairyn Midore]

Awesome. Pending Factory Mentor Review.

[member="Jamie Pyne"], [member="Lily Kuhn"], [member="Zef Halo"]

 

[Jamie Pyne]

Approved.