Approved Starship Draconian refit Redoubtable-Class Battle Cruiser (Dracon's Pride)

[Damion Dorian Tarkin]

OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

• Intent: To make a cool Flagship for A minor faction
• Image Source: Right here
• Canon Link: N/A
• Permissions: N/A
• Primary Source: N/A

PRODUCTION INFORMATION

• Manufacturer:
  • MandalMotors and Mandal Hypernoutics (Base ship)
  • Draconian Refit League (Refitted)
• Affiliation:
  • The Dragon Alliance
  • Combined Zakuul and Draconion Fleet
• Market Status: Closed Market
• Model: Keldabe
• Production: Unique
• Material: Durasteel, Plasteel, Draconian Steel

TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS

• Classification: BattleCruiser, Flagship, Heavy Carrier, Command Ship
• Length: 5,000 Meters (5 Km)
• Width: 1000 Meters (1 km)
• Height: 500 Meters (0.5 Km)
• Armament: Extreme
  • Heavy Quad Turbo Laser Turrets (20)
  • Heavy Missile Tubes (12)
  • Single Heavy Ion Cannons (15)
  • Light Ion Cannons (40)
  • Heavy Tractor Beams (5)
  • Light Turbo Lasers (100)
  • Mass driver Cannons (15)
• Defenses: High
  • Heavy Flak (12)
  • Light Point Defence (30)
  • Ray and Particle Shields
  • Dense Hull reinforced with Draconion Steel
• Hangar Space: 20 Squadrons (Low 5000 M)
• Hangar Allocations:
  • Starfighters: 10 squadrons
    • Starvipers Attack platforms (36) 3 squads total
    • Rihkxyrk assault fighter (36) 3 squads total
    • Tie/FO fighters (36) 3 squads total
    • Tie/Defender (12) 1 squads total
  • Support Craft: 5 squadrons
    • Skipray blastboats (12) 2 squads Total
    • U wing Starfighter (12) 2 squads Total
    • ARC-170 (6) 1 squad total
  • Gunships/transports: 4 squadrons
    • Krayt Gunship (2) 1 squad total
    • Kom'rk class transport (4) 2 squads total
    • VXC-100 (2) 1 squad Total
• Maneuverability Rating: Low -Due to it's size and Heavy armor
• Speed Rating: Low -Due to it's size and heavy armor
• Hyperdrive: Class-2 Hyper drive (Class 10 Backup)

STANDARD FEATURES

• All standard Ability's and compartments as needed for crew and officers
• one (1) large Docking port on the bottom that can fit larger ships up to 500 meters in length

ADVANCED SYSTEMS

• Duel layered Shields

STRENGTHS

• Heavy armor and Shields- Heavy armor and Redundant Shields make it very durable

WEAKNESSES

• Extremally Slow- Its heavy armor make it very Unwieldy
• Crew Intensive- Many Enlisted crew, and officers are needed to maintain the ship. It needs a minimum of 7000 crew members to run day to day.

DESCRIPTION
After the Draconions Got there hands on some blueprints related to the classic Keldabe Battleship, they knew they just needed to refit the design. After gaining the right to the one Keldabe In the Zakuul Planetary defense force they would work for years to achieve what they consider a masterpiece. After the Refit The draconian People would do extensive work to make note of everything so that in the event more Keldabes come there way, they can refit them as well.

 

[Krass Wyms]

Damion Dorian Tarkin

Hello, I shall be judging this today.

Manufacturer:

• MandalMotors and Mandal Hypernoutics (Base ship)
• Draconian Refit League (Refitted)

These will need to be linked to the company/minor faction

Affiliation: Combined Zakuul and Draconion Fleet

Again these will need links.

Material: Durasteel, Plasteel, Draconian Steel

Draconian Steel will need t be linked and approved.

Defenses: High

• Ray (5,500) and Particle Shields (2,500)
• Dense Hull (4,200 RU)

RU is a measurement of the hull strength. We don't really use the numbers but that can be fine. The bolded sections for the shields is that supposed to be strength or number of projectors?

Hangar Allocations:

• Starfighters: 9 squadrons
• Support Craft: 4 squadrons
• Gunships: 2 squadrons

Links for the ships are going to be needed, vagueness means anything can be pulled out and that can lead to exploitation and salt which we try and prevent.

Shield Leech Systems

Shield Leech -Drains energy from other vessels in a close range to power it's systems

THis is going to need a link and shield leech tech needs to be balanced. Right now there is no balance to having something that powerful.

Advanced Survey and tactical systems

tactical Powerhouse- Due to its advanced Systems, It get more accurate field data of a battle, Either in space, or on the ground

Again vagueness is exploitable. PLease list and give an idea of the systems available and remember for exotic and powerul systems they will generally need to be balanced in the weaknesses.

Point wise it is good just address the requested edits... and get the steel approved so this will be able to move forward.

 

[Damion Dorian Tarkin]

1. Added Links
2. Changed it to "Unique" as I want this to be a one of kind ship, under a single minor faction fleet
3. Changed size from 3.4 km in length to 5 km (Why not make it the max length If I am going to make it unique)
4. Changed width and Height to be slightly bigger to match the increase in length.
5. Changed Hanger space to LOW. Which would in turn change it from 16 Squadrons to 20 Squadrons
6. Added specific Numbers and ship types to Hanger Allocations
7. For simplicity, each class of ship have a number count for each squadron.

• Fighters=12 per squad (120 total)
• Support craft=6 Per squad (30 total)
• Gunships=2 per squad (8 total)

8. Added Underside Docking port (Not visible in Picture) for single ship use
9. Added Extra Ships sections (Shows Important ships not in the Squadrons tab. These ships are meant to be carried for special use (Like a single Jedi starfighter) or in the Docking bay on the bottom of the ship
10. Removed The SU from the shields along with the exact numbers just to be simple
11. Replaced "Advanced Survey and tactical systems" with "Advanced Early warning sensors- Features Advanced early warning features that can detect potential threats coming out of hyperspace"
12. "tactical Powerhouse" Trait is a bit less vague, stating that is a dedicated sensor for commanding battle's since this is supposed to be a command ship first, a warship second.
13. I understand That "Draconion Steel" Needs to be accepted before this ship can pass into Accepted. I am working on both.

I hope these changes are enough, I am always available should any changes be made. Again thank you for your time
Krass Wyms

 

[Krass Wyms]

Damion Dorian Tarkin

Alright lets look at round 2

Dragon's Howl-Arquitens-class command cruiser (Attached via Lower Docking port) -Dorians Personal Frigate

This will need a link

Extra Ships

• Dragon's Howl-Arquitens-class command cruiser (Attached via Lower Docking port) -Dorians Personal Frigate
• Eta-10 Heavy Interceptor (1) -Dorian's Preferred Fighter

This will likely exceed the hanger capacity. For larger then fighter vessels it is generally 1 squadron for every 100m of the largest size on the ship.

Shield Leech Weapon

Shield Leech -Drains energy from other vessels in a close range to power it's systems

As I said above a leech shield is a strong weapon, it should be balanced in its use with a weakness. You have not done this as requested.

tactical Powerhouse-Features advanced dedicated sensors that display any nearby space or land battles in real time, for more accurate command tactics

Advanced Early warning sensors- Features Advanced early warning systems that can detect potential threats coming out of hyperspace

The first strength does not equal the systems. As it said in the template ALL systems should be listed. This is to better aid others who might see your ship and looks better organized.

Hangar Space: 20 Squadrons (Average 3000 M)

For a 5000 meter ship 20 squadrons is low you have it as average.

9. Added Extra Ships sections (Shows Important ships not in the Squadrons tab. These ships are meant to be carried for special use (Like a single Jedi starfighter) or in the Docking bay on the bottom of the ship

Any ship added will always add to the squadron count. If it didn't then there would just be ships with entire hulls covered in fighters for freee squadrons to bypass the template and factory system of checks and balances.

All and all the minimal amount of alterations you did in line with the original request makes me not want to deny outright. You are new and it has been recommended you might need handholding in these first subs. So if you are not sure about an edit being asked the judges can offer advice. PM them. If you need more time this can be moved to the pre-factory so you can work on it. What should not be done is attempting to ignore edit requests, trying to bypass systems in the factory.

Tag me when all edits are made or if you want this moved to the pre-factory.

 

[Damion Dorian Tarkin]

1. Got rid of the "Extra ships" tabs and all following features related
2. Got rid of "Advanced Early warning sensors" Entirely
3. Got rid of "tactical Powerhouse" Entirely
4. Changed Hanger space to Low instead of Average
Regardless This is no longer in my confidence of being completed anytime soon So I do request this be moved to pre-factory. Sorry for taking up your time
Krass Wyms

 

[Krass Wyms]

Damion Dorian Tarkin as this was moved back from the pre-factory are all edits completed?

 

[Damion Dorian Tarkin]

Since Everything that you have a problem with in the last post is now deleted Except for the Shield leech The Leech seems to be the only problem.
I have added some description as to what it does and needs in the "Advanced features" Section

However If this is not enough I will relent and get rid of it entirely. Again I do thank you for your time and Input and Will try to do better with this new knowledge in future factory submissions

Krass Wyms

 

[Krass Wyms]

Damion Dorian Tarkin

Shield Leech Weapon

Shield Leech -Drains energy from other vessels in a close range to power it's systems

THis is going to need a link and shield leech tech needs to be balanced. Right now there is no balance to having something that powerful.

As I said above a leech shield is a strong weapon, it should be balanced in its use with a weakness. You have not done this as requested.

As I have said multiple time PLEASE ADD A WEAKNESS FOR THE SHIELD LEECH. You can remove as much as you want if you want it you have to balance it out with a weakness.

 

[Damion Dorian Tarkin]

Can't seem to make the shield leech work Its gone, Shame but had to be done

Krass Wyms

 

[Krass Wyms]

Damion Dorian Tarkin

If that is what you want to do

ADVANCED SYSTEMS

• Shield Leech Weapon
• Duel layered Shields

STRENGTHS

• Heavy armor and Shields- Heavy armor and Redundant Shields make it very durable
• Shield Leech -Drains energy from other vessels in a close range to power it's systems

Please make sure you remove it from the sub if you are taking it out.

 

[Damion Dorian Tarkin]

Sorry I forgot to save, and I don't want to do it, But I have tried to come up with solutions Like "Over heating" or "Limited range" Or even "Small chance to backfire" as well as a few more yet none seemed to work

The best option that I would have then is to just get rid of it as it seems I am not smart enough or creative enough to make it work

I thank you for your time
Krass Wyms

 

[Krass Wyms]

Damion Dorian Tarkin okay please make the requested edit.

 

[Damion Dorian Tarkin]

Edited
Krass Wyms

 

[Krass Wyms]

Thank you

Now this can be approved