Dosh Piko
TALKS TO THE AUDIENCE
DOSH PIKO
NAME: My name is Dosh Piko. Doesn’t mean anything. The writer used a name generator from a google search. He still hasn’t learned anything from “Rhob’urt’chistahg”, apparently…
FACTION: None for now. My story arc is better without one.
RANK: I review products for a living. So… I guess that makes me a critic? My writer doesn’t want to spend too much time think about it.
SPECIES: I’m a Pantoran, so that my writer can use Megamind as my avatar. Originally, I was supposed to look like Rick Sanchez, but seeing as how I can talk to the audience, it would have bordered on plagiarism.
AGE: I’m 25, but my writer is too lazy to look up how long pantorans live for at this time, so I could be past expiry or an infant…
SEX: I’m a guy. And straight. Not sure why the writer feels the need to specify that when he doesn’t do romantic RP.
HEIGHT: I’m 5’5”. My writer clearly wants me to suffer. Thanks, jerk.
WEIGHT: Oh, good, I’m 180 lbs. I’m average weight for my height so I can test out most products out there.
EYES: Green. He actually flexed his thumbs and looked up megamind’s eye colour. How considerate…
HAIR: Oh, look. I’m short and bald. If you, the reader, are a decent human being, maybe you’ll talk to my writer for me, and get him to change it. Here is his discord; Burtch#7939. Go send him spam.
SKIN: Blue. Pantoran. Moving on.
FORCE SENSITIVE: I am, but the writer only says that so he has the option of forcing me to test out FU products in the future.
STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES:
+ 4th Wall Perception — so, in case you can’t tell from my comments up there ^^^, I can perceive of the fact that I exist within a fictional medium. Which means I am talking directly to you. But don’t try talking to me. I can’t hear you and people will think you look weird talking to your phone or your computer.
+ Techie — I am good with tech so that I can sufficiently test and critique all the hoards of crap that players have been spamming into the factory for the past ten years. I have my work cut out for me…
— Chaos rules — so, I know it’s not technically a rule, but just because I can perceive of the OOC stuff, doesn’t mean that I can act on it when I’m RPing with your character. My writer doesn’t want to be “that guy”, which means I literally have to willing put myself in danger with full knowledge of what’s waiting for me on the other side. Ever seen the Mr. Meseeks episode? I understand their pain…
— [COLOR=rgb(214, 48, 49)]Grand Shepherd Burtch[/COLOR] — This guy. He literally created me to torchure me.
APPEARANCE:
If I’m not wearing the “Poon-Smasher-9000 Armor Helmet” submitted by Darth Based-ious, then I look like Megamind.
BIOGRAPHY:
Ugh…
Ok, so I guess I was born on Pantora, I had exceptional talent in something that made me more special that the NPCs, a random close friend that you don’t care about, and somebody close to me died.
The writer isn’t trying very hard here.
I left on a self-made pilgrimage to find myself, started an epic career as a product critic, and then I got kicked in the head by a nerf.
The kick to my head caused me to become “allegedly” insane, and I now believe that I exist as a fictional character written by a sub-par role player that struggles to find free time between work and raising a family.
Motivation: Considering that this field isn’t part of the original template, it’s probably important to my writer, so pay attention. My whole purpose in life is to figure out a way to exist in the real world. I’m not real in this game, so I need a way out so I can truly exist. All of my adventures will be intended to take me closer to that goal.
SHIP:
Unless I’m reviewing an open market ship from the factory, I’m typically flying the Obliterator-Class Gunship, because my writer thinks it’s a funny submission and he doesn’t care about my safety. It has endorsement stickers all over it from all the companies that I’ve done reviews for.
KILLS:
None yet.
BOUNTIES COLLECTED:
Maybe some day.
ROLE-PLAYS:
I’m sure my player will get around to this soon… right?