Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Directorate Expeditonary Task Force

Status
Not open for further replies.

Vonar Ardinn

Guest
V
Outer_Rim_Third_Fleet.2.jpg



OUT OF CHARACTER INFORMATION

  • Intent: To create a Task Force of the Directorate that operates beyond the Core Worlds

  • Image Credit: Here

  • Image : Here

  • Links: Directorate
GENERAL INFORMATION

  • Fleet Name: Directorate Expeditionary Task Force

  • Classification: Expeditionary Fleet

  • Affiliation: Directorate , Grayson Imperium (To a lesser extent)

  • Fleet Symbol: N/A

  • Description: The Directorate Expeditionary Task Force is the Main Branch of the Directorate that oversees all of the Directorate’s Interests beyond the Core Worlds. Under the command of Natian Sanorge , the Fleet serves mostly to keep an eye on the Directorate’s allies such as the Red Dragon as well as to supervise it’s dealing with the Black Sun and other organizations located beyond the Core Worlds.
SOCIAL INFORMATION

  • Headquarters: A Battlestation located within the Ivax Nebula within the Anoat Sector

  • Ports of Call: The Directorate Expeditionary Task Force uses the multiple Directorate Outposts within the Inner Rim , the Mid Rim and Outer Rim as Ports of Call.

  • Goals: The Directorate Expeditionary Task Forces serves to deal with threats to the Directorate located outside of the Core Worlds as well as to keep a close eye on some of the Directorate’s Allies outside the Core Worlds.

  • Reputation: N/A
COMPOSITION INFORMATION

[*]
MEMBERS

[*]
[member=Natian Sanorge] (PC) : Overseer of the Directorate Expeditionary Task Force

[*]
[member=James Cerensp] (PC) : Head of the Expeditionary Task Force

[*]
Nassian Sanorge (NPC) : Second in Command of the Expeditionary Task Force

[*]
Carl Jenkins (NPC) : Commander within the Expeditionary Task Force


HISTORICAL INFORMATION
After the disaster at Pijal for the Directorate , Maracel Yorkell grew concerned about the threat posed by many beyond the Core Worlds to the assets and interests of his company and moved forth to assemble a Fleet to monitor the parts of the galaxy beyond the Core Worlds and to defend the interests and assets of Yorkell Industries. After placing this Fleet under the Wing of the DIA (Directorate Intelligence Agency). Natian Sanorge was tasked with overseeing the progress of the Fleet while one of the DIA’s most skilled agents James Cerensp was tasked in taking active command of the Fleet under the guide of Natian Sanorge.
 
Hey [member="Natian Sanorge "], so there's some issues with this one, though I like the idea. The main issue is the fleet size. Per the Factory Standardized Rules, while this is through an organization, due to the Directorate seeming to be a political organization and not a company, this current sub should be treated as an individual's fleet, as it currently stands. Despite the fact that this is the Codex, we have to follow the Factory standards what's allowed. This limits ship size to 500 m. Also, this fleet rivals that of major faction, who are the only ones able to field fleets of this magnitude. I have noticed that the Directorate is affiliated with the Corellian Confederation. Is the Directorate meant to be an extension of the CC, or it's own thing? Is the fleet meant to be under the CC as well? Also, here are some images from the link of the specifics, and if you have any questions, don't be afraid to ask.
sUB2o76.png

unknown.png

afe6508c67778bd70f5d2f38b308a200.png
 

Vonar Ardinn

Guest
V
[member="Kalic Daws"]

Just Updated it. Also the Directorate operates within the Grayson Imperium and the Corellian Confederation as both a political and Paramilitary Organization. In addition to that the Directorate also the militarized branch of Yorkell Industries. Though it is not mentioned in the page the Directorate receives most of it's Ships from Yorkell Industries with both Company and Organization led by the same guy.
 
@Natian Sanorge

Ok, so you still have ships that are too large. Whether it's through a company or a minor faction, you're only allowed PC captained Star Destroyers or Battlecruisers (1000m or greater), generally meaning just one. By the app, there are currently five of these ships, a Pellaeon-III Star Destroyer, a Preatorian-Class Star Destroyer, and three Pellaon-Class Star Destroyers. You'll have to choose one. Also, having affiliations that are not in the Directorate's app can be confusing, and the app is what any judge is going to look at when taking that into account. It would be a good idea to pull the Directorate's app back out for to edit all affiliations into it.

One last thing, with the Preatorian-class being closed market, proof of purchase will be needed to use it.
 
Good Evening [member="Natian Sanorge "]

I will be taking over the judging of this submission.

Firstly, thank you for providing the link to the purchase of the Praetorian Star Destroyer, if you could please include it in the actual submission itself so we have a proof easy to hand for anyone who wishes to RP with you in the future.

However, there is still two issues with the ships you're using for this submission, so I'm just going to run through that with you now.

1) Ship Sizes

Since the Directorate is, at the moment, just a codex submission, it means that we have to judge the fleet by the individual allowance, which as per the table below, is 500.

sUB2o76.png
(source)​
However, you also say that the fleet is affiliated with the Grayson Imperium. Could you expand on how the fleet is affiliated with them? In the description of the fleet all you mention is the Directorate.

The Grayson Imperium, however, is a minor faction, as so has a larger allowance than an individual. Specifically you can have ships of upto 1000m at your disposal, and PC captained ships of upto 3000m. The issue arises when we look at the specific ships which you're using in this submission. The Praetorian Destroyer is 2,300m long, while the 3 Pellaeon Destroyers each clock in at 1,500m, giving us a total of 4 ships larger than the 1000m limit.

While the Dreadnaught Heavy Cruisers and the Donnagers are all ok, I'm afraind you're going to have to cut down the number of ships above 1000m which are a part of this submission. You have 2 PCs linked to this submission, so I would suggest that you cut it down to two, but plase remember, in actual RP, each character of yours would need to command their ships seperately.

2) Fleet Size

If we add up the size of this fleet we can see that currently you are capable of deploying a fleet of 26,300m, which is more than some Major Factions bring to an invasion. In my opinion this is far in excess of what a minor faction should be able to deply with their limited resources, speaking of the Grayson Imperium here with which you appear to be only tangentially connected, meaning you would lack access to their full resources yourself. I would suggest paring down the size of your fleet considerably to the point where it makes more sense. As Kalic pointed out earlier, the board rules, which can be found here, clearly states only major factions have the resources to have a large fleet (screencap provided below). When you are deploying a fleet comparable to a major faction as a group only partially affiliated with a minor faction we're looking at something that's too big.

unknown.png
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom