Private Decisions... Decisions...

[Cesare Demici]

Lilianna L'lerim

The ship whirred through hyperspace, its trajectory set in stone. Destination... Aaven. Objective... well, that was yet to be seen. Cesare's previous encounter with the heir to the L'lerim name had been... unfruitful, at least as much as one might think. He hadn't eliminated his initial target, but at least, as a silver lining...

He had managed to take Lilianna prisoner.

One that didn't understand the finer points of his father's now defunct crusade might not understand the importance of this abduction, but to Cesare, he held in his hands a potentially great treasure. As such, he handled his "guest" with care, ensuring her comfort, at least as much as a captive could have. The small shuttle was lifted from an old contact of his, off the books, and more importantly, off the radar of the Empire. He'd probably be executed for this... going rogue in the middle of the Empire's conflict. But deep down, he did not care. His goals were his own, and procedure be damned.

He approached his captive, offering her a bit of food.

"Here..."

She would hesitate, likely, and he couldn't blame her. He knew all too well the machinations of a jailer. His mind couldn't help but to call back to his time in chains before his father's death. Nothing felt right. Nothing felt sacred. That pain... that... tribulation... it gave him some small amount of sympathy for his captive's position.

"I promise it isn't poisoned..."

He took a bit himself, just to prove his point. In truth, Cesare wasn't even sure of his plan anymore. It had all gone out the window some time ago. All that was left was his hope that he was making something resembling a smart move.

Would it be? Well, that would take time to find out...

 

[Lilianna L'lerim]

Information

Crown Princess of Aaven, Priestess of Ashla​

"Galactic Common" | <"High Nelvaanian"> | ["Essonian"] | ~ telepathic communication ~ | << comm. channel >> ​

Objective: Survive
Location: En route Aaven
Equipment: Noble Attire | Ashlan Rosary || Empyrean gland | OPBC-01m
Tags: Cesare Demici

Most of my days were spent in quiet prayer; I still struggled to believe what had happened. Ashla; how could She allow all this? Or rather, what purpose could it serve? I had no answer, nor was one given to me. When I first saw Cesare on Serenno, I thought he had come to help me. But I soon discovered he was there for entirely different reasons on the planet and or on the university. I believed he was my saviour; instead, I became his hostage.

Why? I’d asked myself that so many times.

I sat alone in my "prison"; currently a rather uncomfortable room aboard the shuttle. The communications were blocked; I couldn’t use my biochip to call for help or reach anyone. My telepathic abilities through the Force were nowhere near strong enough to connect with another mind. Though I hadn’t seen my brother, Tancred ( Michael Barran ), in years, he was still the one I felt closest to. I tried reaching out to him in the Force, just like I had so many times before, but, just like then, I failed once more.

When I wasn’t praying, I tried to sleep, but there were too many thoughts swirling in my mind. I simply lay on the bed in silence. Our family had long shared strong ties with House Demici, especially with the old cardinal, Pietro. That’s why I truly believed his son had come to help. But all I felt from Cesare was darkness; even though the Demici family, like us, were Ashlan believers.

Who had turned Cesare away from the righteous path? When had he fallen? No matter how much I searched, I could not find the answer. Would he even tell me if I asked?

Lost in thought, I didn't realise for a moment that the door to my room had opened. I sat up slowly and turned to face him. When I saw the food in his hands, nausea welled up in me. When he offered it, I simply shook my head. I blinked in faint surprise when he added that it wasn’t poisoned. I know it can be oddly enough to others, the thought hadn’t even crossed my mind. I suppose, as always, I still expected the best of him.

"Thank you, but I’m not hungry." I was far too anxious and afraid to eat. "Why are you doing this, Cesare? Who did this to you? When did Bogan take hold of your heart and soul?"

The questions spilled out at once, in a voice full of innocence, sadness, and quiet heartbreak. And as I looked up at him, my blue eyes shimmered with sorrow; sorrow at seeing him like this. Yes, I know I was naïve. But not so naïve as to miss the fact that there was a reason he hadn't let me go…

"What do you intend to do with me? Where are you taking me?" I asked softly, for I knew none of the answers.

 

[Cesare Demici]

Lilianna L'lerim

He was almost offended that she did not accept the food... almost...

Yet, he did understand her position. It wasn't so long ago that he had been captive to the wills of Solipsis and his ilk. So perhaps, maybe, somewhere in there... there was a common thread.

He could only hope so...

He looked her deep into the eyes, as deep as anyone could perceive someone through the very weave of the Force itself. It pained him, in truth, to do this, but his goal to murder the Sith'ari was all that mattered. Any pain... any struggle... any sacrifice was worth his pound of flesh in the name of vengeance.

"The Bogan has done nothing, but feed me the power to do what is necessary."

He offered a reassuring hand on her shoulder. Perhaps a moment of weakness, or perhaps familiarity through their mutual heritage, but reassuring nonetheless.

"I don't wish to be your enemy, Lili..."

He wasn't sure if he believed his own words, but he said them nonetheless.

 

[Lilianna L'lerim]

Information

Crown Princess of Aaven, Priestess of Ashla​

"Galactic Common" | <"High Nelvaanian"> | ["Essonian"] | ~ telepathic communication ~ | << comm. channel >> ​

Objective: Survive
Location: En route Aaven
Equipment: Noble Attire | Ashlan Rosary || Empyrean gland | OPBC-01m
Tags: Cesare Demici

I merely watched him. I couldn’t tell what might have been going through his mind, what he could have been thinking. I was a healer, even my Force abilities were strongest in that regard, especially since the gene therapy they subjected me to, so I might recover.

But I had never spent much time among people. Nearly my entire life had been confined to an isolated chamber, thanks to the Sith poison that had killed our mother when Tancred and I were born. My brother had been the luckier of the two of us... he only suffered physical symptoms. I, on the other hand, had lived nearly all my life in a sterile room.

I’d had very little interaction with others, and I would have been so happy if I had. Or if I’d had abilities like my sister, Ellayina. Then perhaps I might have been able to read something from Cesare’s expression. I don’t know... I wasn’t sure what I saw in his eyes. Perhaps pain, or sorrow? Was someone even capable of feeling that on the Dark Side?

Yet in my own eyes, there was even greater pain as he began to speak.

My heart clenched, and I think tears began to sting my eyes. It was awful to see Cesare like that, or anyone, truly. But especially him. Especially knowing that he, too, had once been one of Ashla’s crusaders. And then, when he finally said the Bogan did nothing to him except grant him strength, the tears spilled freely down my cheeks and I shook my head sadly.

"You know that’s not true... you were taught the same as I was... and you must know that the Bogan gives nothing freely. You’ll lose yourself, be consumed. Only Ashla can give us the strength we need, and our faith in Her, not the Bogan." My voice was soft, though by the end it had turned hoarse, fading away as the tears stole the last of my breath.

I wasn’t used to being touched, so I flinched at his touch. I looked up at him with a hint of fear; and even blushed. My hand reached up to wipe away the tears from my cheeks, but I couldn’t stop the trembling. I couldn’t control it. Even though I was inexperienced and naïve, I still noticed that he hadn’t answered my questions, and that silence brought worry - and perhaps a bit of fear - into my heart. That was what made me tremble.

I inched back on the bed until I reached the wall. There was nowhere left to run. He said he didn’t want to be my enemy... and I wanted to believe that. I looked up at him again, my blue eyes showing sorrow, yes, but now some concern as well. I think it was written all over my face.

"If that were true... I wouldn’t be your prisoner. And you would’ve answered my questions. What do you want to do with me?" I asked him again, but this time my voice trembled with fear. No matter how much I tried to hide it, my voice, my eyes and my body language betrayed me.

 

[Cesare Demici]

Lilianna L'lerim

Cesare could sense her fear... her doubt... her concern. It washed over him as if he had sought to drown himself in a great, vast ocean of sadness. He felt no such sorrow in his own heart, however. All that was left was the cold, looming sense of revenge he sought to bring to bear against the Emperor. Yet, Cesare felt some level of sympathy for her, a sensation that caused him to remove his hand from her shoulder.

He slumped back, leaning against the durasteel wall of the ship as he sat across from her. He let out a long sigh, shaking his head as he managed a chuckle.

"You sound so much like my father, you know..."

His gaze drifted for a moment, as if he could see through the very walls of the vessel and into the stars themselves.

"Yes, I was taught the same scriptures. That is, until I left my father to join the Imperial Knights."

He was so young... so optimistic... ready to take on the entirety of the Sith in the name of the Imperator...

But it all fell apart, the banners he once looked to in awe and reverence left to rot in the dust. The Empire he knew was long gone, as was the crusade his father had once helped to champion. All that was left on the horizon was a shadow... a shadow that would persist unless he rooted it out at its core. But that would take time and effort. His only hope was to get in the same room as the Emperor, so that he may end his life once and for all.

"My father was a fool. Cedric was a fool. They were all blinded by their misguided theocracy."

He had met Cedric, once. He was only a child, but he never forgot the moment his father had taken him to meet the future leader of the Ashlan Crusade. He seemed so regal, so transcendent. Yet... the thought of the man throwing his lot in with Pietro was enough to give Cesare pause. One could not truly be such a monumental leader and fall prey to the words of one such as his father.

He threw his hand up, unsure of what to say next. Shaking his head, Cesare's eyes finally met with Lilliana's once again.

"The galaxy doesn't comply with such rigid beliefs. It operates with much greater complexity."

An incredibly audible sigh produced itself as he sought to calm his frustrations.

"Forgive me for answering your question with a question, but what future do you see for your homeworld?"

 

[Lilianna L'lerim]

Information

Crown Princess of Aaven, Priestess of Ashla​

"Galactic Common" | <"High Nelvaanian"> | ["Essonian"] | ~ telepathic communication ~ | << comm. channel >> ​

Objective: Survive
Location: En route Aaven
Equipment: Noble Attire | Ashlan Rosary || Empyrean gland | OPBC-01m
Tags: Cesare Demici

I felt a deep sense of relief when Cesare finally let go of my shoulder and didn’t try to stop me from getting as far away from him as possible. Although unfortunately, it wasn’t as far as I would have liked. He didn’t answer my questions, and that filled me with concern — great concern. During my medical studies, I had also learned psychology, so I knew this wasn’t good, not good at all. The chuckle that followed my words embarrassed me a little, and I blushed slightly. I didn’t know what I could have said that was so funny. Oh! Now I understood.

"After all, he was Ashla’s priest, and I am her priestess…" I said quietly, as I couldn’t imagine any other reason why he would think that way.

I looked at him in surprise, as this sounded as though he had abandoned our faith when he left the cardinal’s side. I could never give up my faith, not even if I were far from home. On the contrary… it would strengthen me even more in my belief, knowing that only my trust in my faith could help me stay strong and accomplish what was necessary. For Ashla is always, everywhere with me.

"Why did you turn away from Ashla there?" I asked him.

I listened sadly to his next words. The Ashlan Emperor had already been dead when I was born. That was when I realized just how much older Cesare was than me; at least fifteen years. I had only ever known Pietro, but not even personally, only through communication channels. I had been forced to spend far too much time alone in my sterile suite, isolated because of the Sith poison. Even with my own brother, I could only speak through the energy barrier, via the biochip, or through telepathic means.

"They were not fools; they believed in something that could make the Galaxy better. They believed in Ashla, believing that their faith could make the Galaxy better. You despise them, yet by your own words, you are currently expecting the same from Bogan. You are exactly the same as they were, even if you don’t treat Bogan as a religion." I told him in a bitter, sorrowful tone.

There was no accusation in my words; I didn’t mean to judge him; only to point out what I saw as reality. Everyone believes in something, even if not in a religious way. They have to, because without hope, everything would be lost. Everyone needs to lean on someone or something to be strong. I looked at him in slight surprise after his next words.

"Or maybe you just don’t want to see it, and you turn your head away because you’ve been met with disappointment and pain. Great pain that you still suffer from. What is it that causes you so much suffering?" I asked him again.

There were countless religions out there; we had discussed them in theology classes, mostly because one has to know the enemy. Yet my questions still went unanswered. His next question, however, sent an icy fear through my heart and soul. Did he want to kill me, and was that why he was asking? Fear made my heart beat faster, my pupils dilated, and I tried to control my breathing so at least that wouldn’t betray me.

"The Planeshift affected us deeply as well… the planet shifted from near Ession into the Unknown Regions. But I believe my people will overcome this soon, and afterwards we can live in peace again and continue our development and prosperity. Why do you want to know this?" I asked him again, even though so far, I hadn’t received any real answer from him, no matter how much I asked.

 

[Cesare Demici]

Lilianna L'lerim

All he could do was chuckle at her question. Of course she didn't understand... how could she? She had known little else other than her misguided beliefs. Cesare could only take pity on her naive outlook on the galaxy, for he too had once been indoctrinated into those same foolish beliefs. His yellow eyes seemed to venture off again as he thought about the strange turns his life had taken. So many shifts in so, so little time...

"It was my father that drove me away from the faith. He knew nothing else, and in the end, it was that same blindness that led to his death."

Her next words of condemnation caused him to snap back to the present, his words oozing with stronger vitriol and frustration.

"Ashla couldn't even save her most devout priest! And you think that same entity can make the galaxy a better place?"

He calmed himself, his body slumping further against the wall as he placed his head in his hand. This feeling... it wasn't rage. Everything felt like rage, these days. It had seemed to be all he had grown to know. No... this was something just as potent...

It was sorrow.

Wiping a single tear from his cheek, Cesare composed himself once again.

"I was there when they killed him. I may have not been in the room, but I could feel his pain... his fear... his torment as the lightsaber pierced his broken body. I could sense the sorrow in his heart, knowing that his beloved goddess had left him to die."

In truth, he still dreamt of that fateful day almost every time he closed his eyes. The fever dream he witnessed at the moment of his father's death would likely haunt him until his dying breath...

Or till he could kill the one responsible.

"I will take the Emperor's life for what he did. It is all I have left, now... and one way or another, I will see my father avenged."

Having finally regained his composure in full, his gaze drifted back to Lilliana.

"Peace is a lie... though not as the Sith believe it to be. It is merely a ticking clock, and eventually that clock resets in the fires of conflict."

A brief pause followed as Cesare attempted to choose his next words carefully.

"The Emperor has designs for the Unknown Regions. There are still old assets there he wishes to recover, and footholds he wishes to maintain."

He leaned forward.

"He has set his sights on your world, as well..."

 

[Lilianna L'lerim]

Information

Crown Princess of Aaven, Priestess of Ashla​

"Galactic Common" | <"High Nelvaanian"> | ["Essonian"] | ~ telepathic communication ~ | << comm. channel >> ​

Objective: Survive
Location: En route Aaven
Equipment: Noble Attire | Ashlan Rosary || Empyrean gland | OPBC-01m
Tags: Cesare Demici

I watched Cesare with sadness as he spoke so bitterly, yet even with all my naivety, I could not agree with him. Even when I looked at it rationally, not through faith, I still did not see it the way he did. I could feel his anger, though... Perhaps if I had been that furious, I might have thought the same. Instead, I only watched him with sorrow until at last I shook my head and spoke, my voice soft, yet for once unusually firm.

"The Oversoul does not openly interfere in the matters of Realspace. My aunt and uncle both died on Tython, at the hands of Khamul Kryze, and yet they are now the Light of Ashla and the Shield of Ashla. Death is not the final end of our path. And countless Ashlan believers have become part of the Children of Ashla… I am certain that your father holds an important role in the Ashlanic afterlife." I said with conviction.

I truly believed that if he had wished to be saved, he would have called for help. Who could have known better than a Cardinal that death was not the end of everything? Perhaps he too had walked the streets of the Seat of Ashla and knew where the souls went when they finished their mission, their life in this world. I did not fear the day I would have to continue my journey beyond either, for death was but a new beginning.

"I believe you misunderstood his feelings. I think he was tormented because of you, because he feared for you. He worried about what would become of you, that he might have felt he had failed. He could have called for aid if he wished to be saved… you know this… he knew this." I tried to comfort him.

I felt his sorrow too, so tangible it was almost my own. I even saw the tear fall. For a moment, I hesitated, wishing to lean closer and brush it from his cheek myself; but I dared not move. No matter the conversation, I was still a prisoner. Revenge; one of the strongest pillars, one of the most dangerous lures of the Dark Side, and Cesare had fallen into that snare. It was not even truly a mistake, but a trap, for how hard it was to escape from it. I shook my head gently as I looked at him again.

"Revenge is not the answer, Cesare. It will not bring you peace; it will consume you, until there is nothing left of you, and you will be lost forever in the Darkness. Don’t you think this is what your father feared? Every parent only wishes their child to be safe…" I whispered.

Revenge was no solution. I lowered my head sadly while he looked at me, only to lift it again in alarm when Cesare mentioned that the Emperor had chosen Aaven as well. My eyes widened in fear, my heart began to pound faster. I shook my head firmly; I could not believe it, he was only trying to frighten me. But if that was his goal, he had already succeeded. Why would he want Aaven? It was such a small world, with only the capital holding any modernity, the rest still pre-industrial… the planet had only a Light Side nexus, nothing more.

"You’re lying!" I said hoarsely, my voice trembling. "If it were true, you wouldn’t tell me…"

 

[Cesare Demici]

Lilianna L'lerim

His hand clenched, balling into a fist as he slammed it against the wall of the ship.

"Then what is the point of praying to such an entity!"

His yellow eyes flashed in her direction with a stern, aggressive fire. He had no intention to hurt her, and his restraint would surely reflect that. Yet, even so, it was difficult to contain his frustration. It reminded him of everything his father attempted to shove down his throat. All of those early years... wasted away in some empty room reading scriptures at his father's request. No... not request... his demands. The man never gave Cesare a choice, not really. He set his son on the path he was no on, whatever his intent may have been.

"You don't understand. You weren't there. You didn't feel his pain. He didn't even know I was there. He could not have known. Yet, I felt his pain all the same."

He averted his gaze for a moment, his strength faltering ever so slightly before he locked in to her eyes once again.

"If Ashla is so pure... so kind... so beautiful... then how can she allow someone like Solipsis to roam free? You say Ashla doesn't interfere with happenings in Realspace, yet the Force moves through all things... binds all things... connects all things. If such is true, then Ashla inherently has an obligation to act."

A deep exhale followed as he did his best to regain his composure.

"It is not revenge. It is justice. Justice that the man should have faced long ago. By all rights, he did on Tython. Yet, he is back nonetheless."

His demeanor shifted as she called him a liar, his body language becoming more lax, more personable. He looked at her with honest, saddened eyes as he spoke.

"I wouldn't, no... except the way to save your planet involves me telling you so..."

 

[Lilianna L'lerim]

Information

Crown Princess of Aaven, Priestess of Ashla​

"Galactic Common" | <"High Nelvaanian"> | ["Essonian"] | ~ telepathic communication ~ | << comm. channel >> ​

Objective: Survive
Location: En route Aaven
Equipment: Noble Attire | Ashlan Rosary || Empyrean gland | OPBC-01m
Tags: Cesare Demici

I flinched in fear when Cesare slammed his fist into the wall; to feel safer, I pulled my legs up onto the bed and wrapped my arms around them. Maybe I seemed smaller like this, but I knew it also made me look more vulnerable and weak. I was only a priestess and a healer, a doctor. Even though as a child I sometimes dreamed of becoming a crusader, or even a Jedi, my health never allowed me to. I was afraid to say anything in response to his words, afraid he would hurt me. I saw those yellow eyes, the anger in them…

In the end, though, I somehow forced the words out - maybe only for myself - just to draw strength from them.

"Because we can draw strength from Him, and from our faith. He is the Light Side of the Force, the one that gives strength…" I whispered softly, more to myself than to him… and I don’t even know if Cesare heard it.

Since I never really had a proper childhood or teenage years, I mostly read and studied. That’s how I was able to get into medical school later on, and I didn’t just study religious or medical texts. I had read about the Force too; and I think I finally understood now why Cesare felt what he did. What this was, between him and his father. It was something common between parent and child, especially if both were Force users, or at least sensitive. I had felt something like it with my own father, and with Tancred ( Michael Barran ). A Force-bond.

Of course, it was possible that I was wrong, that it wasn’t this. But from what he told me, I thought it could only be that. I lifted my gaze fearfully and looked at him.

"You don’t understand, and you don’t know much about the Force… He was your father, and from what you’ve said, no matter how little you loved him, no matter how much you disagreed with him… there was a Force-bond between you. That’s why you felt it, why his absence still hurts, why you’re suffering. Revenge won’t heal that. You should be healing your soul, not deepening the wound with the power of Bogan." I said sadly, still clutching my knees tightly, as if that could keep me safe.

I kept watching him fearfully, hugging my legs close. I didn’t know if he could ever truly calm down; if he even was capable of it; because anger only made those who followed the path of Bogan stronger. Eventually, it seemed he calmed, at least a little; but even then, I worried just as much as before.

"The Manda doesn’t interfere in the lives of the Mandalorians… the evil Oversouls do, or War, Death and Rebirth… Ashla is present in everything and everyone, just like you said. She also grants strength, faith, and hope to those on the Lightside, so they can fight the Bogan. She helps too, in her own way. But right now, the Bogan and your pain won’t let you see it." I said, my voice still trembling, though I doubted it would do any good.

I shook my head at his words; no, this wasn’t justice, it was revenge. If it had been justice, then lawyers would be the ones to see it done, not through such deeds. So I didn’t respond to that at all; I felt it would have been pointless. And then came the cold shock. As his behaviour shifted, I grew even more frightened. My heart was pounding in my throat, and my chest tightened with fear or panic.

"Why would you help Aaven and my father? What would you gain from it?" I asked, my voice faltering with fear.

 

[Cesare Demici]

Lilianna L'lerim

Her flinch didn't go unnoticed, causing Cesare to almost feel the slightest bit of embarrassment at his outburst. Well, almost. He didn't for one second question his motives, but his purpose was not to strike fear into her. In truth, he felt a strong level of sympathy for her, for he knew all too well the indoctrination that she had experienced. If anyone did... it would be him.

"I apologize... I want you to know, whatever you may think of me, please believe me when I say that you have no reason to fear me."

He knew the words might not be enough, but he meant them all the same.

As she spoke of Force-bonds, he could feel the frustration welling up within him once more. Yet, this time he would keep it to himself, instead letting out a deep breath and relaxing his posture. He even offered a smile, or at least his best attempt at one.

"Please do not underestimate my understanding of the Force. I know that you must think me ignorant due to the path I've walked, but please understand, I do come from similar roots as you. I am aware of all of the same teachings and history."

He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to ingest her next words. It wasn't that they didn't appear sound, it was just that he simply could not rectify the logic with his own experience. He would finally open his eyes again, once again meeting her gaze, but this time with a warmer gaze... his best attempt at trying to calm her nerves.

"Perhaps you have a point, but I have chosen my path, and I can only see the way forward. And that path requires me to bash my way through until I get the chance to bring the Sith'ari to justice. The same justice that the former Grand Marshal Heinrich attempted to bring to Solipsis on Tython years ago. The same justice my father, Cedric, Ryv, Imperator Rurik, and so many others fought for... and many of them died for."

He let out a sigh at her last question, attempting to find the most reassuring response he could.

"Your family was close to my father, and to his cause. There is something to be said about that. I hold no loyalty to the faith, but I don't wish to see your world falter..."

His voice began to ooze with sadness as he spoke.

"Do you truly think so little of me? I know you don't know me, but I have not done anything to warrant you viewing me so lowly, save for my path down toward the darkness. But ask yourself this... what have I done to cause that reaction? You are my prisoner, yes, but have I really mistreated you that harshly?"

The disconnect was clear, but the genuine nature of his words remained nonetheless. He could only hope that at least some of that intention would break through.

 

[Lilianna L'lerim]

Information

Crown Princess of Aaven, Priestess of Ashla​

"Galactic Common" | <"High Nelvaanian"> | ["Essonian"] | ~ telepathic communication ~ | << comm. channel >> ​

Objective: Survive
Location: En route Aaven
Equipment: Noble Attire | Ashlan Rosary || Empyrean gland | OPBC-01m
Tags: Cesare Demici

"I don’t think badly of you, it’s just… just because of my previous health condition I didn’t have much interaction with others, only through holocalls and… and it’s hard to get used to strong reactions." I replied awkwardly, but honestly.

Still, I couldn’t deny the part that I was afraid. Not necessarily of him, but of the whole situation, the circumstances themselves. He still hadn’t told me why he was keeping me as a prisoner, nor where we were going. I suppose it was the ignorance, the lack of information, that caused the most fear and despair in me. Not to mention what he said about my planet, that my home and my people might be in danger. Even without details, I had already begun to worry about it.

I was surprised at his next words, and I think I even blushed a little; in the end, I shook my head and tried to smile softly, kindly.

"No, I don’t think you’re ignorant… It's just that, from what I’ve experienced so far, most men wouldn’t admit such things, because they would see it as a weakness. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you with my words." I stammered, somewhat embarrassed.

I still looked at him nervously, not really understanding what all of this was; I felt so inexperienced. I wished there was someone here who understood these matters better than I did. Though thanks to the HoloNet I could stay in touch with others, it was nowhere near the same as meeting people of my own age - or anyone - in person. Because of my illness I had missed out on so much interaction, things I might never be able to make up for. But still, something stood out…

"Are you trying to confuse me?" I asked awkwardly. "Just a moment ago you called the Cardinal and the Kaiser fools, and now you talk about them as if they were heroes…"

I slowly nodded, showing that I understood why he said he didn’t want my world to suffer. But I didn’t know why… perhaps there really was still some goodness and sense of duty left in him? I so badly wanted to believe that was the reason. And when sadness rang in his voice because of my behaviour, I began to feel bad for hurting him. I was still trembling a little, still afraid, but I let go of my knees with my hands and allowed my legs to slide back down to the floor.

Even so, I had to force myself not to wrap my arms around myself in my anxiety. His words hurt me, because they weren’t true. I didn’t think of him as lowly, or less important… I only wanted to help him, and I was afraid. Again, I shook my head, and as I did, part of my hair fell forward, slipping across my face.

"I don’t see you that way, it just hurts to see you on the Dark Side… and no, you weren’t rough or harsh with me. But please, understand… you don’t answer my most important questions, and you keep me in the shadows, in the unknown. Not to mention…" my voice faltered, trembling.

I fell silent awkwardly here, my pale face burning as I blushed.

"I’ve never been alone with anyone before, without supervision… for any reason…" I murmured quietly, embarrassed, my gaze dropping to the floor.

 

[Cesare Demici]

Lilianna L'lerim

He could sense her doubt... her fear... her uncertainty. It pained him, in truth, though he would do his best to keep his emotions in check. All he could do was attempt to soften his voice as he spoke.

"You feel uncertain about your situation. You have questions. I understand. If it helps, I want you to know I am taking you home..."

He expected that to only minutely help, but it was all he could do to calm her anxiety for now.

He let out a chuckle at her comment on confusion. Her naivete certainly had not gone unnoticed. It did help him, however, to better assess her perception. It all began to make sense, for he knew all too well that enclosed existence.

"I never said their cause was unjust. They meant well, for the most part. But their overconfidence in their faith is what led them astray."

He paused for a moment at her last comment. Of course, how could he not see it? She truly had been sheltered, even more than he ever had been. To that effect, he allowed his body language to relax even more, attempting to make himself less intimidating to her.

"I apologize, it appears I have misread some of your situation."

His hand moved back to the plate of food, sliding it her way across the room.

"It's there, if you want it."

He tapped his finger on the floor, mulling over how to approach this situation. His father had attempted to teach him the innerworkings of politics, and how to control a room. It often fell on deaf ears, however, as Cesare was destined for a more martial life.

"The truth is, I don't want to see your planet suffer. The only way to make that happen is... well..."

The hesitation in his voice was clear as day.

"I'm afraid you may not like the answer..."