Private Dart Guns and Damsy

[Arlo Renard]

He'd forgotten something. A small item, a trinket really, but important enough to warrant a trip back to the Reef.

Looking at it now, it truly seemed almost abandoned. He knew it wasn't totally deserted—a few familiar presences milled about in the shadows, reduced to background noise—but it was far, far quieter than it had once been. He made his way to his old quarters, opening the battered locker in which he had stored his belongings. In no particular hurry, he traced a finger over the tattered magnets and stickers on the inside of the door, before stooping to rifle through its contents.

There. The dart gun. Damsy had given it to him when they first met, first as a loan, then for keeps. He hadn't found much use for it on the battlefield, but it might come in handy when it came to taking down beasts and the like without hurting them. Rising to his feet, he attached the nonlethal weapon to his belt, then reached up to close the locker and seal it again...

Damsy Callat​

 

[Damsy Callat]

|| The Reef, Coruscant Underlevels ||

"I didn't know that ol' thing was still 'round."

Damsy's voice suddenly panged off the metal walls rusting all over again, anything but background noise.

"Honestly," she added as she shifted to cross her arms and lean against the open door brace, "I thought you might've gotten rid of it."

If Kai turned to apprise his mother, he would be greeted by a very different visage than the one which Erictho had ostracized from the Reef some time ago—both in physical and paranormal sense. She was wearing a darker bodysuit without a caplet, a lightsaber hilt hung from her waistline; her aura was tinged red like a curry spiced with all sorts of flavored emotions. Yet, the very presence of the latter like a heavy scent wafting through the air did not burn the eyes. The pot did not boil over. Its enthalpy remained tucked under Damsy's skin, a barely contained but still very much tamed heatstorm. In other words, she seemed thoroughly controlled, calm, even and maybe especially as she let a lifetime of repressions unfurl within her.

Arlo Renard

 

[Arlo Renard]

Kai froze at the sound of Damsy's voice behind him. Her presence startled him, but he showed no dread in how quickly he faced her.

Only to pause again as he took in her appearance, both with his eyes and with the inner gaze of the Force.

She had changed.

So had he.

"Hi," he said. A simple greeting seemed the best place to start, though he knew the fact that he wasn't using telepathy would stick out like a sore thumb. "Long time no see."

Erictho's uprising against Damsy had occurred while Kai was away, wallowing in misery and self-pity after his first confrontation with Arcturus Dinn , the man who had killed Gerda. After some soul-searching and a brief stint entertaining the Je'daii Order, he'd returned to Coruscant to find Damsy gone and Claudia near death. Between the rush to save her life, a second disastrous encounter with Arcturus, Kai's transformation into a human, and the battle on Tython, he hadn't had a chance to stop and think, much less seek Damsy out.

He had wanted to, though. Standing here now, with his mother before him, he wondered how differently things would have played out if she hadn't been pushed out by Erictho. If he had been there to somehow prevent it all from happening.

But as usual, he was making assumptions based on appearances. Damsy's aura changing so dramatically was worth taking note of, at least.

"I missed you. How have you been?"

Damsy Callat​

 

[Damsy Callat]

As Damsy furrowed her brow, confusion rather than disgust tinged her aura.

Instead of asking what she obviously wanted to, she replied, "Fine. Makin' friends. Y'know a lil' exile won't keep me down."

She kept her talks with Idris and travels to Kesh in the palms of her hands, then transferred them to her pockets when she shouldered out of the doorway and slid her hands into her cargo pants.

"'Ow 'bout you, starfish?" she asked, already having a pretty good idea what his answer would be. To that end, she continued, "Arisso told me you took the bunny up on her ticket outta..." She freed one hand, unballed its fist—a few humming but otherwise harmless sparks jumping off her skin involuntarily at the motion—and motioned generally to the ceiling. "...Dodge."

Arlo Renard

 

[Arlo Renard]

"Glad to hear it."

For a few moments, he thought that maybe things were going to be okay. She didn't speak of abuses or traumas she had suffered during her exile, and he detected no lie in her voice. There was, however, a vague sense of things left unsaid. But that could be amended by talking to one another...

But right when she started to return the favor and ask about him, she did something strange. First, she had shoved her hands in to her pockets, as though trying to hide something. Then, after stepping closer to him, she removed one hand from her pocket and flicked sparks toward the ceiling. The gesture punctuated her sentence as she spoke of what Erictho had done to him, and he knew there was some unspoken implication there. An accusation, maybe.

Or was it a threat?

Kai didn't quite know what to make of it, but he stood his ground and met her gaze.

"Things could've gone better," he said. "I realize in hindsight I probably shouldn't have trusted Erictho, but she made me an offer I couldn't refuse. And I got what I wanted. I'm free now." He worried his lower lip, then added, "We should probably take care of things with her soon. I don't know where Erictho went, but she's probably up to no good."

Soon, but not now. There was still so much he had left to do, things that seemed so much more important than following up on a shapeshifting witch.

Damsy Callat​

 

[Damsy Callat]

For a moment, Damsy—or really Syreni—considered offering up her alchemy skills, to undo what she saw as a mistake, but she bit her tongue on that too. It wouldn't be the solution he wanted even if that's what he meant by 'in hindsight, I probably shouldn't have trusted Erictho.' The very sentences he said next confirmed that:

I got what I wanted.

I'm free.

So was she. Ja'ak. The Force has broken my chains to set me free.

Her hand was back in her pocket. She smiled, close-lipped and despite herself.

"I'm glad, Kai," she said with muted sincerity. "I jus' wanted ya to follow your heart."

The Spawn was split. Her motherly side was truly happy for him, proud of him, but could he reciprocate the sentiments? She doubted it, just as she doubted the hole in her heart caused by it would ever suture closed. To that end, the leader in her was thoroughly disappointed that Kai could, let alone would want to, turn his back on his people. Syreni just amplified both their feelings.

"Hella," Damsy agreed to the idea of dealing with the witch. Images of what she could do to her flashed across her mindseye. She let them pass then blinked them away. The pictures faded, giving way to orange flecks like gilded gold in Damsy's eyes. It'd be disingenuous to pretend she didn't despise Erictho for taking away her kingdom and its prince.

"I know you're up to a lot," she continued, though she didn't, not in a practical way. She didn't know the details. She just knew her son and he had dreams. Of course he would capitalize on his new humanity. "I'll track down Erictho. You don't gotta worry 'bout it."

A little selfish, but she was a proper Sith now.

Arlo Renard

 

[Arlo Renard]

"I'm glad, Kai," she said with muted sincerity. "I jus' wanted ya to follow your heart."

Kai lowered his head, expelling breath through his nose. He had hoped for this, but feared her reaction would be worse. Yet getting what he wanted wasn't quite as comforting as he thought it would be. She might be sincere, but he could still hear the numbness, the concealed pain and disappointment.

It almost made him wish she had gone off on him, raged and railed against his decision. He wanted her to treat him like a rebellious son, to get mad and chew him out. But only because it would make him feel better about doing this to her.

Well, that, and because it would've let him read the speech he had prepared to give to anyone who dared to voice dissent. My body, my choice.

"Thanks."

The conversation turned to Erictho. "I don't know where she is. I agreed to let her transfer my essence into a new body, but then she sort of... sprung it on me. Yanked me out of my old body right then and there, with nothing to be transferred into. I think she really was aiming to kill me, or at least get me out of the way. I had to go and find a corpse to inhabit..." He gestured to himself. "This was the best I could come up with on short notice. By the time I got back here, she was gone."

Along with the husk of his old body.

Damsy Callat​

 

[Damsy Callat]

"I agreed to let her transfer my essence into a new body, but then she sort of... sprung it on me. Yanked me out of my old body right then and there, with nothing to be transferred into. I think she really was aiming to kill me, or at least get me out of the way. I had to go and find a corpse to inhabit..."

Damsy felt her knuckles go white in her pockets at Kai's recounting of what had happened to him. Any disappointment in him flitted to the back burner in favor of a reinforced anger at Erictho.

She kept it out of her voice, but not her jaw. "Arisso's no clue either. I'll find a way."

Yes, she would, and Syreni wanted to get to it right now, but Damsy held her ground. Instead, the ember driving her on was one she hadn't stoke in quite some time. "How's, uh, how's Dag?" asked the siren. The chitstorm that had ravaged Tython had thrown many, many things at her, but thankfully one of them hadn't been Dagon Kaze . Damsy would attribute the happenstance to Bogan with a prayer did that not seem wildly insensitive given the situation.

Arlo Renard

 

[Arlo Renard]

"I mean, I could - we really should work together to take her out, right?" Kai spread his hands. "Almost half the Reef sided with her. That's a lot of people."

He wasn't sure to what extent they would even fight for her. Sometimes he wondered if they were brainwashed or something...

"How's, uh, how's Dag?"

<Later, Kai.> his thoughts echoed back to Kai through the mental link. <I'll tell you later.>

Kai's entire train of thought derailed at the mere mention of Dag's name, and he switched back to telepathy seemingly on instinct, bowing his head.

<I don't know much. He lost his apprentice, Jem Fossk , to the Sith. She fell to the Dark Side. He has a new apprentice now.>

In truth, he hadn't had any contact with Dag in quite a long time. Not since he tried to talk to him back on Ilum. Right before he...

<When that day comes, I've thought about ending my life. Going home, once and for all. I suppose if I can't go through with that either—>

Well, that was a whole 'nother story Damsy didn't really need to know about right now. Maybe he should pay Dag a visit sometime, or send the poor guy something. Anything other than letting these long silences stretch on.

Damsy Callat​

 

[Damsy Callat]

The cord stuck out a dissonant emotional tune through the room.

<... He lost his apprentice, Jem Fossk , to the Sith. She fell to the Dark Side. ...>

"Chit." She had met Jem once, in the library when she herself had been forcing herself to walk in the Light or die trying. The almost-irony was not lost on her. Even though Damsy wasn't the stereotypical kind of Sith and didn't think of herself as fallen either, nor ascended, but moved laterally through the Force, she was Sith and most fell. The verb was relative to the Jedi and implicative that most Sith lost themselves soon after probing that abyss. That kind of fall of that kind of Sith even she could condemn.

But he probably wouldn't 'preciate seein' me, she thought in maybe not so many words. Still, the impression was made and dug its way under her skin until she shook it off.

"I had no idea. I might be one of 'em too, but..." She whistled lowly. "...I don't suggest anyone convert to this lifestyle if they don't gotta." And Damsy had to. That led back to his first point. "Yeah, we should, together, but I dun wann' upset you or Dag. I just swung by to make sure errthin' was 'right."

Which it wasn't.

But her heart was in the right place.

She just had to let the Reef go—let it bleach.

Arlo Renard

 

[Arlo Renard]

Kai lifted his head, his brow furrowing.

<Wait—you're not leaving again, are you?>

Damsy Callat​

 

[Damsy Callat]

Damsy furrowed her brow right back. If he hadn't been expecting her reaction to his change to be so tame, she hadn't expected his to her timetable to be...almost hurt?

"Yeah, that was the idea," she replied honestly. "It was 'ard 'nough to be a Sithspawn on Coruscant, but now I'm a Sith on Coruscant. All I've brought ou—my people has amounted to pain and sufferin'. My hands' been tied; I can't stay."

Arlo Renard

 

[Arlo Renard]

<But you just got back!> Kai protested. <I assumed you would—I mean, I thought you would want to keep going.>

She hadn't said she was giving up on the Sithspawn Sanctorium altogether, he reminded himself. They could take it somewhere else, somewhere less exposed than Coruscant. But the rest of it, this talk about pain and suffering...

<Where is all this coming from, anyway?> he asked. <What really happened between you and Erictho? Because if she's as much of a con artist as she seems to be, Mom, none of the pain and suffering was really your fault. Even I caused more problems in the Reef than you did—>

Damsy Callat​

 

[Damsy Callat]

One question set off a cacophony of memory.

"Something happened at the Reef."

"I don't know what, just that you rocked up to the guest barracks outta your mind. . . ."

Damsy interrupted both herself and Kai, "Yeah, she may be a con artist, but I'm a circus freak."

<. . . A freak tainted by the Dark Side from birth, having to hide from the galaxy, living in fear and loathing?>

"I've known that for a long time now. Errytime I try an' fight it, folk get hurt, includin' but not limited to me."

"Damsssy isss trying to fight her nature, the visssion in which you made her."

"What is a Sssithsspawn without the Darksside? Can I ssstop her?"

Damsy's eyes were suddenly glossy, barely restraining tears. A fist trembled at her side—anger too. "Motina didn't go with Erictho." But she wasn't here. The smells of her cooking hadn't graced these halls in quite some time.

Erictho presented Syreni with enough power to act by herself for the first time on Coruscant since she had attacked Dagon. Just like then, the Spirit had been trying to protect the Spawn, but this time people did get seriously hurt because the latter completely overpowered the former.

"Erichto woke Syreni. I wasn't able to stop it, but I..." She put an open palm over her heart. "I'm still responsible for the actions of my body."

Arlo Renard

 

[Arlo Renard]

And just like that, all the pieces of the puzzle fell into place. Damsy’s alter ego Syreni had taken over, and people had gotten hurt. Kai had feared this was a possibility from the moment Damsy first revealed Syreni’s existence to him.

<Could she take you over?>

He just didn’t think it would happen while he wasn’t there to see it. Maybe even that his absence had something to do with it…

Leaving people caused so many problems. The scars he carried from being abandoned ran deep. You’d think he would know better than to inflict those wounds on others. But at least he had come back. He always came back.

Damsy was back, but her ship had already sailed. This wasn’t something you could just apologize, forgive, and forget. Under Syreni’s influence, she had hurt people. Maybe even killed Motina. The wages of this sin was death. There was no exclusively blaming Syreni for it—because the line between Damsy and Syreni had always been blurred.

<I wish that I could help you,> Kai said, as somber as a funeral. <But I don’t know how.>

He hadn’t had a split-personality when he was a Sithspawn. Part of what made it so unbearable had been the knowledge that whatever evil he did, whatever corruption he carried, it was all ultimately on him. His addiction, the force that drove him to feed off of others, was something he hated and loved in equal measure. Deep down, he had enjoyed being a monster too much to really fight it. He made the choice to give in to those urges because he wanted it.

<Where will you go?> he asked, reluctantly accepting that there was no turning back. Then, as he lifted his gaze, he added, <I can feel the Dark in you. It’s stronger than before. What are you going to do with it?>

He didn’t think she was planning on running off to join the Maw, or anything like that, but he’d be lying if he claimed he wasn’t concerned.

Damsy Callat​

 

[Damsy Callat]

I know ya do, was what she thought but didn't say. It didn't seem necessary. Instead, she replied, "You're already doin' enough to help me, baby. You an' Claudia..." Her bottom lip began to quiver even as it drew up into a bittersweet smile. "Neither o' you ever, ever, look back, y'hear? Ya got out; ya gone. Don't trade your newfound humanity in for monstrosity.

"Imma live on..."

...Kesh, she almost finished.

"...somewhere I dun want ya to find me." She smiled again, much more weakly. "I gotta quit tryin' ta squeeze Light outta the Dark, an' I don't want no one to be there if it goes south.

"If it does," shrugging, her faked smile faltered, "well, then this Galaxy will be down one more Sith world."

Arlo Renard

 

[Arlo Renard]

Damsy wouldn't say where she was going, but mentioned it would be a Sith world. Kai filed that little tidbit away in case he needed it later.

Otherwise, he was on the verge of tears. It was bittersweet, at least for him. She might feel differently.

He took a few steps forward, closing the distance between them, and pulled her into a hug.

<Take care, then. I'll miss you.> A tighter squeeze. <I love you, Mom.>

Damsy Callat​

 

[Damsy Callat]

If Damsy had been on the edge of tears too, Kai pulled her over it. As her arms wrapped around him, the sniffling began.

I'll do my best, and, I'll miss you more, came immediately to mind in response, but neither immediately came out of her mouth. Actually, they never did, nor did they extend from her mindwaves to his. Her throat burned too much, her head raced too fast, to manage either. She simply squeezed him back, hoping to impress her grieving intentions onto his skin.

To let him know that, no, it wasn't just him.

Then, suddenly she did speak with her own voice but not vocabulary. Her own—as in Damsy's—knowledge of ur-Kittât was still riddled with holes, but Syreni's wasn't. Born of Alchemy and instinct, it was perfect.

And she lent Damsy the words to speak her feelings in the two halves' native tongue:

"Nu nulis j'us kian, nsukihetyr (I love you too, starfish)."

Arlo Renard