despondentjm
New Member
So I just wanted to introduce myself briefly before I started with my character Danai.
And this is coming from another SW site. I don’t want to carry over the drama from that site onto this one, I would like to start over fresh. I think there is almost no overlap anyway. But since Danai’s story ended in a way I didn’t like, I wanted a chance to redeem her story because I really enjoyed writing her.
And this really happened, it was something that happened a couple of years ago but it has really stuck with me since and it was something that I would consider traumatic to me, even though yes, “it’s only RP”, it’s still something that shouldn’t have happened. I was numb for days afterward. There were lots of jokes being thrown around in the days afterward, especially by the man who removed her hand. And I never got to tell my side of the story.
The Combine as a whole has a toxic culture, but this pirate faction was - and still is - especially toxic. And that word gets used very often but it’s truly the only way to describe the culture of that particular group. It’s Star Wars in the most cancerous way, so that it barely resembles SW.
And unfortunately when I expressed a desire to leave, it really became crystal clear. I was given a choice, and even this choice was not something I consented to, so it was very much against the rules.
So they would either kill the character on their Discord or I could have the hand chopped and walk away. So Danai had her hand chopped off in a very public way on Discord, and despite the multiple boundaries that got crossed, it was still something that got played for laughs.
And that goes without mentioning the things that came afterward - a social exile of sorts for leaving a criminal faction - that I faced from everyday members of that site. Certainly she was not accepted among the pirates, but also not accepted by upstanding members, either.
That speaks more for the culture of that particular fandom than I can express in a cohesive way.
But - my point being - I do not sense that same culture in this site, and I appreciate any outlet to express what happened to that character in the hopes that I get some sort of closure from it. As I said, I did leave that site and drop that character just due to the nature of how her story ended, and I for one think that she deserves better.
There are many other things I could say - I witnessed a lot and learned about my own self in some ways, and definitely learned about a rotten subset of SW fans I had never met before and never wish to meet again, but I still think that good things can come out of truly horrible things.
I sense there is a completely different culture here, or at least different enough to safely make the jump, so I just wanted to express that before I started. It was a thing that happened.
I did a lot of back and forth in my mind about if I really wanted to hash this out and continue her story. But something about her always stuck with me.
We are moving on. A year and a half later. Finally.
And this is coming from another SW site. I don’t want to carry over the drama from that site onto this one, I would like to start over fresh. I think there is almost no overlap anyway. But since Danai’s story ended in a way I didn’t like, I wanted a chance to redeem her story because I really enjoyed writing her.
And this really happened, it was something that happened a couple of years ago but it has really stuck with me since and it was something that I would consider traumatic to me, even though yes, “it’s only RP”, it’s still something that shouldn’t have happened. I was numb for days afterward. There were lots of jokes being thrown around in the days afterward, especially by the man who removed her hand. And I never got to tell my side of the story.
The Combine as a whole has a toxic culture, but this pirate faction was - and still is - especially toxic. And that word gets used very often but it’s truly the only way to describe the culture of that particular group. It’s Star Wars in the most cancerous way, so that it barely resembles SW.
And unfortunately when I expressed a desire to leave, it really became crystal clear. I was given a choice, and even this choice was not something I consented to, so it was very much against the rules.
So they would either kill the character on their Discord or I could have the hand chopped and walk away. So Danai had her hand chopped off in a very public way on Discord, and despite the multiple boundaries that got crossed, it was still something that got played for laughs.
And that goes without mentioning the things that came afterward - a social exile of sorts for leaving a criminal faction - that I faced from everyday members of that site. Certainly she was not accepted among the pirates, but also not accepted by upstanding members, either.
That speaks more for the culture of that particular fandom than I can express in a cohesive way.
But - my point being - I do not sense that same culture in this site, and I appreciate any outlet to express what happened to that character in the hopes that I get some sort of closure from it. As I said, I did leave that site and drop that character just due to the nature of how her story ended, and I for one think that she deserves better.
There are many other things I could say - I witnessed a lot and learned about my own self in some ways, and definitely learned about a rotten subset of SW fans I had never met before and never wish to meet again, but I still think that good things can come out of truly horrible things.
I sense there is a completely different culture here, or at least different enough to safely make the jump, so I just wanted to express that before I started. It was a thing that happened.
I did a lot of back and forth in my mind about if I really wanted to hash this out and continue her story. But something about her always stuck with me.
We are moving on. A year and a half later. Finally.
