Lord of Girth
Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos
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Vex Pendel
Character
I really like it, badass and with great formatting. With that said, I'll just go down the list of things that stood out.
"Yes, highly" or anything like that for the force sensitive question seems really, really overdone. In my eyes, that question is a yes or no one. Show their heightened sensitivity through the rest of the bio - through feats, abilities, their background, etc. Most importantly, your writing with the character. You did this well through the small "training under a sith lord" section of his history and his abilities section.
I really like the strengths/attributes/weaknesses section you made. Also, I was glad to see more weaknesses than strengths. Not enough people do that, it shows thought more than just putting the minimum 2 weaknesses and putting like 20 strengths.
Your "The Force" and "The Lightsaber" sections were put together nicely, I liked that. Lastly, his equipment section was good too.
Overall, the character looks great! Only a few small things, like the force sensitive thing - from reading the bio it's pretty clear he's very strong in the force. A couple typos and formatting errors here and there, but nothing major.
Don't have much to say about the companion, looks fine to me.
Overall, great job!
[member="Atheus"]
"Yes, highly" or anything like that for the force sensitive question seems really, really overdone. In my eyes, that question is a yes or no one. Show their heightened sensitivity through the rest of the bio - through feats, abilities, their background, etc. Most importantly, your writing with the character. You did this well through the small "training under a sith lord" section of his history and his abilities section.
I really like the strengths/attributes/weaknesses section you made. Also, I was glad to see more weaknesses than strengths. Not enough people do that, it shows thought more than just putting the minimum 2 weaknesses and putting like 20 strengths.
Your "The Force" and "The Lightsaber" sections were put together nicely, I liked that. Lastly, his equipment section was good too.
Overall, the character looks great! Only a few small things, like the force sensitive thing - from reading the bio it's pretty clear he's very strong in the force. A couple typos and formatting errors here and there, but nothing major.
Don't have much to say about the companion, looks fine to me.
Overall, great job!
[member="Atheus"]
Lord of Girth
[member="Vex Pendel"], Thank you for your words. If there is anything else you want to add, let me know.