Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Corellian Aide(Coryth)

A push toward Corellia. I haven't spent much time on Corellia in my couple of years of roaming for a few reasons. One was blonde, the other was raven headed and had a wife… and the next was whiskey. Too much whiskey. For a symbiotic empath like me, being on a planet of such strong presence is always risky business. Avoiding seemed to be the rub but as I floated in open space in my small Naboo craft, I felt the tug. The pull. There was someone on Corellia I needed to see.

It's only been lately that I dove into my use of the Force at all, only recently that I could do more than hold my head and hope the passive telepathy I was born with would dim and I would remain Anders for one more day. Raw headed and needy, I pass through the stratosphere of the planet and begin to feel the scattering potential symbiosis of a culture based on speaking your mind and shooting first.

My trip takes me to a lakeside. Maybe it's the lack of people, maybe it's the easiest place to land, maybe it's random selection from a keen mind but I like where I end up and that's a first click on the Pro section. Doffing my jacket, I hitch out from my tiny ship with cargo trousers tucked into brown boots and a t-shirt. My hair's up today, slung out of my face but pieces will fall down regardless of what I do. I'm kicking rocks at the water, hands in my pockets.

Where are you, person-I-don't-know? Was it just the pretty lake that called me here? @[member="Coryth Elaris"]
 
@[member="Anders Sivas"]

Coryth had just pulled into the small dock in an older sailboat. With a leap she landed lightly upon the creaky old wood. Rope in hand, she knelt down and quickly tied off the boat within a few seconds showing just how many times she'd done that single action. No doubt she could do it blindfolded. The Prophetess was written upon the side of the boat, a bright blue against soft while paint. Though showing it's age a little, there were a few faded and worn spots in the lettering.

She had been a gift to Coryth from a friend long ago and to still have her, even after a decade outside of known space, was something she could never express enough gratitude for the person who had held onto it for her when she traveled. It was the only real home she ever had, and though it was hardly anything... For someone like Cory, everything that meant anything to her fit inside a shoebox. She wouldn't know what to do with a real home or apartment and there were days when that ship meant for four, sometimes felt too big.

Today, Cory was mostly coming back for supplies. Though she wasn't completely out of things, or really that close to it either, but there was a pull of the force drawing her in to the beach. With a sigh the tiny redhead rose from her knees, standing no taller than four foot eleven inches. She wore a simple white tank top and a pair of light tan pants, just simple and plain. Upon her arms, deep dark purple scars criss-crossed nearly every inch of visible skin from her shoulders all the way down to her wrists, across her chest (what little was exposed) but her hands, neck and face unmarred by the gruesome scars. Her feet, bare on the wood, a quirk of hers. It just never felt right with shoes on. Always feeling like she had a greater connection to the world around her by that simple contact. And something she always fought tooth and nail to make sure it stayed that way. That connection meant too much to her.


Now stepping across to the boat again, she grabbed a simple and well worn grey cloak and wrapped it around her shoulders. Reaching down, she took a large bag and slung it over her shoulder. Easily as she did so, and as loosely as it hung, it was empty. By all appearances, just a woman coming ashore for supplies before heading back out.

Thinking through recent events, a sigh came. Too much had happened in such a short time and there was just something about her eyes told of someone who had seen far too much for a lifetime and then some. Her body just one visible example with the exposed scars. Her mind a maze of pain and agony that she kept hidden and locked away from others. Especially considering her empathy. Her empathy was not a gift from the force but something she was born with and had to learn separately how to control and deal with, including placing guards and defenses up to protect not only herself but others from feeling her emotions, and pains

With the bag over her shoulder now, she headed off the docks and onto the rocky beach. Her eyes caught the person tossing stones into the waters, and felt the pull of the force again. Surely not? It usually never was this easy to find what the force wished her to. Maybe she was wrong, she started to walk on but stopped. No, this is right. Changing her path she headed towards him, uncertain of who this was or why the force was calling her here now. But the force had never led her astray, not like this when it was her guiding light. No, this had to be why the force pulled her off the waters and into the docks.


"Excuse me," She paused not really knowing what to say as she approached slowly, lightsaber bouncing upon her hip as she moved. A light wind tugging at her cloak occasionally revealing it. "You seem a bit lost perhaps. Maybe I can help you find what you are looking for?" Another pause, this all felt so weird to her but then again she was more the quiet shy type. "I'm Master Coryth Elaris." She said softly, reaching out to shake the stranger's hand.
 
Ahead of me is a woman who wears the curse of the effective. In the ether around us I feel the fibrous threads of the Force, but I don't feel her. Null space, blockage, call it what I like, but all I've got to go on is my own senses. I wrestle with the idea of turning around, saying 'Hello, goodbye', leaving her wrecked skin (and the rest of her) in peace. Something in my brain tells me it doesn't work that way. It's never worked that way and here we are on a beach me kicking rocks and her sailing in on the ship coming in. "Here's hoping for the both of us. I'm.. ah, what's the appropriate title that's one step lower than Padawan and one step higher than shoe polisher? 'Cause that's probably me."

A flicker of my own fear laces the handshake, fear that someday I won't be Golden Tongued enough, or complacent enough or lucky enough to avoid scars like hers. That someday I'll be hanging by more than my neck and nothing I say will save me. Nothing I do, no symbiosis, no friend. Just gone.

Gives me the shakes, if I'm honest. And seeing as how this is my vocal recording of my own private diary, yes, I'm being honest. How else do people think I keep track of how many 'me's I've been? I shove my hand in my hair starting at the base of my neck and working the way up. "Andr-Anders. I'm Anders Sivas. From.. nowhere really, nowhere and anywhere and that doesn't make sense, so I ought to stop waxing cryptic, but these phrases get jostled and stuck up here" I point to my brain, tapping my temple with a finger, "And Master Coryth, wow that sounds right. Master Coryth. it's a doozy to get them out… Please don't think I'm a crazy person, I mean I know I'm slightly crazy or something 'cause of the… the business with my… and the…. and then there was that one … I got led. Led right here and when the inkling gets that strong, I tend to follow it like a good little pet… Have… have you ever used it? The Saber. The… it's just I've never… and … I'm not a fighter, but I get the feeling I won't last much longer without learning how to get myself out of things. And I know I'm nothing but a curio on the beach and I don't even know if you're the person I'm supposed to see, but there's this homing beacon in my head and it's telling me to stand here right now and I've got to listen. When I don't listen, it doesn't turn out well."@[member="Coryth Elaris"]

Flashes of memory hit with my handshake. Fragments of lives people have led, but none of them mine. Not mine, theirs, leftovers from the symbiotic 'we' I drain into by default when the person beside me is strong enough, or when I'm weak enough. Gee I hope this wasn't a mistake.
 
@[member="Anders Sivas"]

Coryth gave a soft smile, remembering once being in a state like the being in front of her. "New," Speaking softly, her tone ever so kind. "Just new." Her eyes lit up seeming happy to have found what had drawn her into shore. "Did you recently come to know of your talent? Or have you known for a while?" Pausing briefly Coryth went on, "The answer isn't terribly important, I didn't come to really know or understand it until my teens. I'd never heard the term, force. The Jedi and Sith little more than myth and legends to me back then. It's just my curiosity." Innocent times before she got drug into the wars, battles, and push and pull of the two groups.

She felt the hesitation, but didn't push the issues or open herself up. It was much easier on her and everyone to block out what she could and keep hidden her own emotions, and feelings. For a while Cory only listened to the young one before her, letting Anders speak. Once she was finished she still smiled just as bright, seeming just as happy. Nothing had changed as "I don't think you are crazy at all. Nervous, yes. Probably just as much as I was to walk up to you, I'm usually rather shy, if I'm to be honest." A sigh came with that statement, not a part of her she liked much, nor wanted to admit often.

"I understand completely, I'm a healer, well more than just that. But anyway, the force, it's my guide. Just like you described it will pull and guide you where it needs you to be, what it believes you need most or where you are most needed. It seems it drew us both here for a reason. I'm guessing perhaps you seek training, hmm?" Coryth glanced back to her boat, and then to the small city nearby. Her ship wasn't going anywhere, and really neither was she. Not with the force holding her here now. "Oh and by the way, please just call me Coryth, never have a reason really to use my title other than for introductions. To let someone know if I am friend or foe. If I had my way I'd never speak it again, no use for it. After all it's just a word, I'd rather let my actions speak for me."

With the question of the saber, Coryth's eyes grew sad, the smile fading. A deep breath in and out as she reached down and unclipped the weapon from her belt. Painful memories came with the white cylinder. Normally she'd never hand her saber off to another but the force spoke of trust. So she reached out to hand it to her new found acquaintance. "That weapon, is special no other like it in the galaxy." If Anders was to look an engraving ran the length of the unusually light metal, I shall do no harm, seek the weak, feeble, ill and wounded. Above all else, help those who need it most. No matter the side. No matter the cost.

"Yes, I have used it and at a grave price. I do not take it lightly to use such a weapon. I've only killed one being, one single being and the scars left behind. Ones that cannot be seen, have never healed." She turned back to look over the waters, watching the waves as she went on. "Other than that time, there have been only a half dozen or so times I've drawn it for protection, and defense of others. I prefer every means possible aside from this weapon. Illusions, telekinesis, whatever I must do not to harm another. That oath on my blade is my life. I live by those words."
 
"Recent I knew what caused it, yes but it's been with me all my life. Since I was a baby, I'd just… fit the strongest person in the room. Made for an … enigmatic childhood? A complacent one, maybe." I shrug a shoulder, "My Dad helped me figure it out, and when we did? He… he bought me this ship, see? It's… it's a Lifter so it's like, tiny and mine. I went out to space so I could find Anders. Still looking, I guess. Complicated. Always wrestling with another pull in another completely different direction. S'ok. I don't think you're turning into an extrovert, I tend to bring people out. Some people, not others."

Actions speaking for her, she says, as she denies my calling her Master. I like that, it's a heady kind of altruism fit into the sum total of her expressive life. Kind, honest, timid in that strong way, in the way where one had to fight to stay timid. To battle the mental barrages to stay on the simple end of a valiant effort to heal and help instead of harm and hinder. I like it. Could get used to it, and when she mentions training, my eyes perk up. "You can… you can train that? I thought… okay I had this silly idea that the only training force wielders got was at the end of a lightsaber, or in some sort of 'got my reasons' violent attack. You can… you can really train the healing arts? The mental part, the illusions, that sort? Yes. Yes I want that. I don't want the end of a saber to be the last of it. I'll never survive it Coryth."

I handle the saber like a holy relic, knowing in my infantile state that Coryth's weapon is exactly that. Sacred, and devout to her way. Using any kind of ability before harm is a code I can identify with, one I can see the value in. After all, I've symbiotically linked with people on every possible side of every possible line, dangerous and harmless, draped across the map of stars and the one thing in common is the fact that carried to its end, every being wants or rebels against the same damn thing. Handing the blade back, I feel the metal still wedged on my fingers, brushing against the inscription. "You have to be a fething strong woman to live by those words. They're not words I take lightly. Only a backbone of beskar could follow that oath through."

Teach me, @[member="Coryth Elaris"]
 
@[member="Anders Sivas"]

Coryth nodded slowly, patiently listening. "A ship is good, being able to fly even better. Not a skill I have, but that's another story." Her smile brightened again as she spoke about her not turning into and extrovert. "I must admit in all my wanderings, if there is one thing I've learned it's that it's always complicated. There are so many threads woven into the fabric of life. Pull on one, you get six in a knot." She wasn't entirely sure she understood everything that was being said to her, but every person in the universe was different. This, clearly no different.

Asking about training and what Cory could do, she replied simply, "Yes, I can." For a while she said nothing just looking at Anders, only then did she open herself to the force and let it wash through her, a few guards down around her empathy and emotions, looking to get a good read on her soon to be padawan, no doubt. Flickers of possible futures hit her, the one before her, could be great. The potential was there, it was all there. Seeing herself in this one's future, there was no way she could turn the force away now. It had already made it's mind up.

A sigh came softly, watching as her weapon was held so carefully. "It's not often that I hand that to anyone, but that oath is everything I am, which is why I showed it to you. The simple feeling of that engraving has been the final guard to remind me of my oath, my path and kept me from something foolish. I'm glad that you do not take those words lightly either. It is not an easy path I walk, by any means." Taking the weapon back she with great care clipped it back to her belt.

Another sigh, "Even my own kindred souls judged me for such. For when I would heal Sith I'd harmed or one of them had wounded to the brink of death. All life is precious, and everyone deserves a second chance." Sad eyes once more took over, "I wouldn't be alive if not for being given a second chance I did not deserve, remember that."

Thinking back, it had taken all she had in her and then some to keep to that oath, holding onto it for dear life and never breaking it but once. "If you choose a path similar to mine, it is going to take everything you have and ten steps more than you believe you have in you to do it. I've stood up to the Council many times because of that oath. Been kicked from Council meetings, and so on because I held to that foundation. It's why while I hold the title of Jedi, I am not part of the Order, nor the Council."

Finally, her mind was in alignment with the force. "I will train you, in whatever ways you desire and more. I will teach you all I know. Already by asking me to teach you, you are opening a most difficult road and I hope you do not lose any bit of who you are along the journey that this life will lead you on." There was a long pause, "However I want you to be sure. Don't make this choice lightly. If you are certain this is the path you wish to take, I will gladly take you under my wing. Guard you, protect you like family, and treat you as a sister. But be certain, because once you start this, there is no going back."
 
"Fly, like, without a ship fly? Through the air fly? People can do that, too!? Woa! I can only pilot! S'okay though, I pilot pretty well if I do say. Fast reflexes. Or maybe it's just that my reflexes are faster than anything I've come up against so far Ouch. That made me sad."

A lonely road of decision opens before me and it takes more than the semi-conscious steps I've sauntered around skipping from hearth to hearth believing my path laid blameless. Of course there was blame. Wasn't that what my Dad taught me? Even when 'Anders' disappeared for a symbiotic entanglement, I am ultimately responsible for myself. It's a bitter, jagged pill and I've no water to help swallow. "I can't guarantee I'll always be me, Coryth. If… if the person's strong enough, I lose a lot of fights in my head and wake up days later trying to piece together what I'd done. Who I'd… been and been with. My life's been a haze of different people living in my mind, pushing aside whatever core I'd plastered together as a child and staking down for a while. Been a lifetime of only knowing myself through what I'm not. Sounds more sordid than it is, truth is all those symbiotic moments've given me a glimpse at all sorts of people. Good, bad, no matter who they'd been and done, there was something beautiful in every one." Guess flitting like a hummingbird on a bunch of flowers isn't enough, if there's one thing being thrown into events of mine and others' makings has taught me it's the necessity for having a gun to stick to.

Sticking to the Healer's Hand seems a whole lot harder than sticking to a blaster. I wet my lips and listen unguarded to @[member="Coryth Elaris"]' words. "Kind of hard to lose a blank slate…" My mind rings with the expansion of Coryth, the wellspring of her peace and power laced in the toughest of roads. A search for power, a search for presence, or passion or peace, they all fall drained and easy onto the same bed. They're all tangled together in the limbs of companionship, but the search for healing despite, second chances despite, for forgiveness and grace, that search seems lonely and undeniably difficult from where I stand on the long road's precipice. Jared told me to master my own destiny, I'll never be able to without the guidance of someone who can master me not with the saber or the destroyer's lance, but with the shy healing calm of the pacifist. Is this who I want to be? "What's the past anyway but holograms in your head? I'm ready Coryth. This is the path I want to take."
 
@[member="Anders Sivas"]

"Well, flying without a ship, is entirely possible. I'm not however, strong enough with Telekinesis to perform such a feat, but a friend of mine can, and perhaps I'll introduce you sometimes. Just ships, and me don't mix. I typically use public transit, aside from the sail boat, there is a special art to a ship like that, and The Prophetess is my home, really the only one I've known. And the only thing I can really pilot, if you will."

She smiled again, "Fast reflexes are part of your gifts in the force, and they do help for certain. It's complicated but your reflexes seem far faster than they are because you, like me see a tiny bit ahead in the future and are able to react, with was seems to be lightning fast reflexes but not exactly the case."

A somber expression crossed her features as Anders went on. "Perhaps that can be something I help you with, learn to block out things like that, guarding and protecting yourself as best you can." She cocked her head to the side for a moment thinking, "I'm a natural empath, not force based. I had to learn to block things out with the force to protect myself from other's emotions, and save them from my own."

Her lips turned only slightly to the smallest hints of happiness, "I can understand a little of that. And, you've learned something quite key, even in the worst of people, there is still a beauty, a goodness if you search deep enough." Pausing for a moment, Coryth brushed a few stray strands of hair from her face, tucking them away behind her ears. "I hope I can teach you to block some of that out, so that someday you can learn more about exactly who you are not who you aren't. And I'll endeavour to do my best with that."

Now that Coryth thought about it, it had been sometime since she'd taken on a Padawan of any sort. Only one had ever passed through her hands and made it to knight. "It might not be as hard as you think to lose yourself. It does happen to even the best of us.." The stars only knew how many times she, herself had lost her way, or lost a part of her along the way.

With the final words spoken, Coryth bowed her head to Anders, "Then I shall take you on as my Padawan learner, and in this you have my promise to see this through to whatever end it shall take us both. You have my word that I shall do everything within my power to teach you, guard you, protect you, and keep watch over you as if you were my own family, as a sister. Until the day you are able to more than handle yourself on your own, but even then your Master, will always be your Master, and in that I am duty bound to make sure you are always safe. Strong bonds usually get formed between Master and Padawan, to the point that in the near future I'll be able to sense when you are in danger even if you are half way across the galaxy." Maybe that had more to do with her Empathic gifts than it did anything else. None the less, it was there with her last Padawan, and those she spent a lot of time with, those she cared about greatly.

"You may have to forgive me, I'm a bit rusty on this teaching things. It's been quite sometime since I had anyone interested to learn my craft from me, and I am grateful to have another choosing this path. A path of light, healing, and doing all it takes to never harm another soul. It's hard to find beings like you, and I'm glad the Force brought us together. I could not be happier to have you for a student."

Coryth then slowly knelt down to the smooth worn stones along the shore and arranged herself with care, her legs crossed over one another and drawn up close to her hips. "Join me, please." She spoke softly, still. "I want you to sit with me, and tell me what you know of the Force. This, so I may find the best place for you to begin learning." Whether it was from the very basics or something a little more advanced, Coryth knew the Force had brought them together, and in no way was she going to walk away from this one. Not when she so clearly needed guidance, and maybe a bit of help along the way.
 
"I love flying! Veering through space at like, seven thousand hundred miles a minute, so fast no mind can keep up. That's freedom, and I got my own ship. It's tiny. Like, 5 people tiny. But you're welcome on it! I can take you anywhere you need to go the Prophetess can't set sail to… you mean I can see the future? In teensy bits? Woa. Thats wild." I stick my thumb in my collarbone and grin. Flying's something of an art form. An expendable freedom and utter delight. One of the few.

"I appreciate it. Been hundreds of people, you know? Never by choice. Learned to flow with it, but that's not the path of the righteous. It's no excuse. I have to be active in my own life, or it'll flitter away. Anything you could teach is great." I bow my head, looking down at @[member="Coryth Elaris"]' feet and let a wave of the shudders fall off me. My eyes snap up as Coryth claims me as her Padawan and she as my Master. Like a sister, I smile and put a hand to my heart. Don't know why, feels right. "Thank you, Master. Coryth, one thing works for us, with the both of us connecting, that's going to be one heck of a strong bond. I promise not to get into too many wild and crazy things that need my Master's help to yank me out of in one piece." That promise might be harder to keep than I think it is, come to think. What have I gotten this elusive Master into?

"S'ok, I haven't been a student in a while. The rust will be as it is. We'll slough it off soon enough." As I sit on the ground beside her, I cross one leg over the other and slump my arms over my thighs.

"The Force? I'm sorry to say I haven't seen much good in it. I've been controlled, twisted, gutted and left empty by it, lost all sense of self, and never with a rhyme or reason. I've seen and felt people torture others to death with it, both deserving and not and at one point I thought that was okay. Maybe it was the company in my brain, wakes me up some nights wondering if it wasn't. It's been a ruthless, uncontainable disaster people've used to control, conquer, celebrate victories built in blood and hang unsuspecting empaths by the neck off the ledge of a building 200 stories up to intimidate him into staying away from someone who needed help. Coryth, I know the Force is more vast and more merciful than my slim glimpse so far. I feel like it's bathed me in a crucible of its' hate so I cry out, I feel it crawling up my neck. It's showing me enough of the worst bits so when I step out there with this uncanny grace of yours, I'm doing it with the settled bones of the mighty. 'Cause to me? Mercy comes at a cost. But what am I if not the universe's willing tax collector giving out returns?"
 
@[member="Anders Sivas"]

Coryth could hardly help but shudder as Anders spoke of space, the speeds, all the aspects of it that frightened her more than she would openly admit. "Considering I've been sticking with public transit for all these years, and whatever passage I could buy or barter for, a ride now and then wouldn't be a bad thing. Even if I can't stand flight." Steele gray eyes drifted to her ship, "I'm used to smaller honestly, Prophetess can only hold four comfortably and even some days she feels far too big for me. I just was born on a starship, with nothing at all, and used to living in very cramped spaces day by day as we hopped from ship to ship, planet to planet in my youth." A deep sadness spread across her features, a time that never was good for her. Far too much pain encompassed her youth, being alone from seven until the Jedi saved her at fourteen. "And indeed, you can. Just small bits, but its what gives you the seemingly inhumanly fast reflexes. You'll hardly notice it as it's something that all force users inherently have since their birth. Beyond the simple knowledge, doubt you'll really think on it past this moment in time."

The smile did return but did not follow into her eyes as her thoughts lingered in the past. Surprise registered for a moment as Anders explained to her how deep her own Empathy ran. "I've never been so strong with empathy. I feel other's emotions as my own, and if I hold no guards up they will feel mine too as if they were theirs. I do not envy your position and I'll do all I can to help change it for you."

Cory gave a nod as her new padawan went on, knowing it would be almost impossible for the pair not to be incredibly closely bonded."The bond will be strong, without a doubt. That you are more than correct on. I've never seen a pair of empaths as master and apprentice. It makes me wonder of the possibilities of the pairing." Especially if she were to let her guards down and allow Anders in to see what she'd been, and been through. "Fear not, even if you should find trouble, help has a way of showing up in the most interesting of manners."

Her gaze returned to the waters lapping at the shoreline, listening carefully to the sad tale Anders had to tell, one that furrowed her own brow as she felt deeply for her new learner. "The galaxy is a bitter, cruel place." Her eyes drifted to her own scars, thinking back to those moments, but tightened her guards to not let her apprentice feel that pain that always came with. "Torture, after all I've been through ... I can't say I believe anyone deserves it. Not even the worst of beings." Knowing now would be a time to share a little of her story, "The scars I hold are from torture over a decade ago. I, a piece of bait to draw in a man ... Someone I dearly loved." A sigh followed, the sadness on her face something she could not hide, "I once believed there was a place for such methods until I was put into that position." Reaching out, Coryth laid her hand upon Ander's shoulder and gave a gentle squeeze, before withdrawing, "The life you've led has not been easy. My only hope is that I can make some parts of it better, gentler so that you have a chance to learn who you really are, not just who the people around you are. You deserve that chance more than anything and I believe I can give it to you. So, we'll start at the beginning."

This beach, in it's quiet serene solitude Coryth could not imagine a better place to start training. To learn to meditate in such a beautiful environment, where hardly another soul wandered. " Coryth turned upon the rocks, facing her padawan. "We will start with meditation, for arts of the mind, all of them start with a clear mind. Even the guards I intend to show you today, though they won't be strong at first will require this. Don't be disappointed if it does not come easily at first, all things take time and practice. Eventually this will be second nature."

She laid her hands palm down upon her knees, her arms and body seemingly relaxing with ease. "This position I've found easiest, you may have to try others to help you at first. Relax your body as much as you can and once you've done that I want you to close your eyes." As she spoke Coryth did so herself, "If you struggle, let me know I can reach out, touch your hands and guide you completely but I want you to try on your own first." A pause as she waited, "Slow deep breaths. In, and slowly count to eight as you draw in. Hold and count down from ten, then release slowly counting to eight. Keep it all in your mind. Focus upon the breath, feeling how it comes into your body, feel where it goes, feel its soothing power." Her words each slow, gentle and soft, guiding as she had once been shown. "In ... hold ... and out." Repeated gently.
 
"Nausea or bad memories? Nausea I can help with. It's one of the little tricks I learned when I was a teenager. The memories, well, we can work on that together, can't we? Isn't that what being a healer, and being Master and Padawan is about? Memories are there, but they don't have to last, right? Still hope and all." I'm wondering if there's a catch, if anyone can overcome full and complete the past they live carrying on their backs, or in @[member="Coryth Elaris"]' case, her skin. "My Lifter holds five plus the pilot. Been mine since I was twelve. You're welcome anytime."

The merriment drifts away from me as the sea leaving the beaches' sands. I sit on the ground with my knees up, one arm then the other pulling over top as I rest my head on my arm. "Haven't projected ever. Received. It'd be nice, you know, to think my own and feel my own way. Course sometimes it's a comfort. Sitting in a sea of people and feeling them all. Reminds me that we're all beings with desires and demons. It'll be a pretty neat test to see if I can project at all, eh? I think I do a sort of projection, or attachment maybe? Heck, being an active participant in my own abilities would be stellar. Thanks for teaching me, Coryth. Help comes, like you said."

I sit quiet as she darkens, as even this bright star fights with the past and its present marring on her skin. Makes me ashamed of my piece in the short Corellian affair. "I was at this bar when this guy walks in and sits beside me. It was him. My next symbiont. As it surged in and I lost myself, he took one look and said 'No'. He's a Master of serious dark arts, but he's also amazing." I don't notice the smile plastering on my face, or the way my shoulders rise until I see a distant reflection in the water. I cough, feel my cheeks get hot and flail a hand into my hair. "We banded together to… heh.. there was this girl who sat down. I could tell she was hurting for a fix. The guys behind were coming closer and I knew she was there to see them. This girl, she had no place there, she wasn't supposed to be ruining herself. I put my arm around her and told Jared the guys were dealing. His eyes went yellow and he told me to get the girl out. I did. Never told him I could feel everything he did in that bar to those men. I could feel his rage, his inner pain lashing out at the dealers who reminded him of the ones who took his parents, preyed on him as an orphan in Coruscant, but it was my fault. I told him what they were, I told him to make them hurt. I was so mad. I'm beginning to wonder whose anger it was I felt. Mine, or Jared's. It was wrong on an incredible level. I never want that to reoccur. I am accountable for those mens' deaths."

I pull my legs into the appropriate sitting position and leave my hands palm up on my thighs. Anywhere to get started. My breathing chokes up a couple of times as my mind wanders to the moments I've witnessed, the tragedy of life that so many can pass through it without the dignity of a fair chance and solid deal. My mind counts eight down, working slowly. Clearing house isn't easy, as I begin to rest in the lull I see a wealth of my symbionts, like stars hanging in a planetary night - reflections of light peering from the past in remnant. The light feels sickly and yellow, tainted by my inconstant indecision and I reach a hand forward. "Can you help me please?" I whisper, continuing to try and ease up.

I keep breathing, the flickers of an enduring calm beginning to find centre in my belly. The sickly stars still shimmering relentlessly in my mind.
 
@[member="Anders Sivas"]

Coryth could sense her padawan's struggles, and like a hand in the darkness reaching out, she found Anders. Like that first ray of sunshine after the longest night of terrors and hardship, Coryth clutched onto Anders hand in the physical world, then reached for the other as she too opened her mind willingly to the force, but kept herself guarded to protect her fragile apprentice from the dangers of her master's emotions and struggles. "Do not fear," She said softly but firmly, "I'm only a hairs width away." Trying to be as comforting as she could be in that singular moment.

Slowly, with great care she began to pulling gently upon the real Anders and started to walk her through the many things that she'd been, the many emotions and horrors that haunted her day to day life. "Relax..." She whispered, so gently. Like a loving mother trying to soothe a young child, coax them into something that was at first frightening. "Follow my lead, I won't let you become lost." Her tone still as relaxed and soft as ever, no strain or sign of the difficulty of what she was doing.


One by one she was helping to pull Anders away from the many thoughts, personalities, emotions that had dominated the young being's mind for such a long time. Time passed in this state between them without notice, for it really didn't exist here. No way to know exactly how much had passed, but after what seemed like an eternity Coryth pulled Anders with great care into a clearing withing her own mind. A place of solitude that belonged to no one but Anders.

"This ..." Her words spoken into the mind, not of the mouth, "Is where you need to be. This is home." She reminded gently before she slowly pulled back to let her padawan feel for the first time what it was to have a clear mind. To be at peace. "Stay focused," Still speaking into Anders' thoughts. "And settle into this place, cling to it. For even in the darkest of hours, this a place no one else can reach you, and even I just only its edges." With that Coryth's voice faded but she was not done as she still held her padawan learner's hands and helped keep all the other thoughts and emotions at bay while letting Anders feel the vastness of the force, the power it held, and let her feel all she was and all she could be. Protecting her just as she had promised in an otherwise vulnerable state for her new student. With luck her student could hold to that place.
 
The Force is vastly measureless and full. It cranes my neck at the usurping firebrand which settles across my skin and through the pores to my nervous system. Overwhelming is an understatement, but @[member="Coryth Elaris"] is here and she's protecting me - her frail and daunted Padawan girl. Funny, I should be confused at how quickly she discovered me, at how quickly she came to know more about my innermost being better than those who've known Anders for years. My fingers wind around her hand and cling. I feel the essences of Corellia in the water, in the dirt and the air - tempestuous activators! How righteously they fight and live. My lips mash, I nod and sigh. "I trust you. Not used to this, but I trust you."

The sheer amount of personae in my mind are a cacophony of noise, my mental landscape is a vast and sprawling city at night. Resplendent within it, lights halt any rest or relaxation as each light is a person I've been, a mind bonded to and symbiotically attached by no choice of my own. By the tender age of twenty two I have thousands of dotting lights. Thousands of people Coryth is teaching me to drown out, or better put: to let rest so my true image can be the only sun within the sky. Perhaps I am more the Moon, a reflection of the lights I've found. The distractions catch me in a tailspin, the "I" will soon become the "We" and the We I control not at all, and slowly it comes: I do not need to control them. They exist in their place forever in my mind, but I do not exist within them. I am above and outside of the influences there, and into a meadow. My breath catches, shoulders relax and I glance around. "How.. wh-where am.. it's quiet. Are.. are brains supposed to be this quiet?"

Daunting at first, the solitude of the meadow leaves me devoid and empty of the incredible fatigue of my current way. "Fo-oh. Okay, I..." The edges fray, lose some colour and I reach down to kneel and grab at the grass with my fingers. To delight within it. "Mine. This place is mine. Mine, mine, mine. It's Andra's. It's mine. No one can take it from me. No one can take it from me. No one can take it from me. No one..." I crash to the grass and bury my head in it, feeling the vegetation soft and sleek brush against my cheeks and astral body. The relief is a palpable bedfellow, a scent on the wind becrying the sweetness of a worthy and wholesome affection. The Force is a fragrance, like incense in a Temple or perfume on a young woman's chest. On my chest. It's the smell of fresh bread in a kitchen, or a dour odour on the Dark.

The pungent Dark holds no power over Andra Sivas. Daughter of Naboo, I grip into the meadow and its sweetness and flip over to watch the sky. Far off in the fading blue I see the speckles of stars attempting to break in with their shuddering minds of plenty. Would dusk fall here as it does on every world? I laugh and weep and rest within the eternity of this place without time. How long I linger I know not. In the infinity of the Force, I feel for the first time the possibilities within it. The allowance of the Light for me to become what is in me to become. Sitting up, I wipe my eyes and glance around.

If only I could show Jared how to be in a place like this.

The thought brings the stars crashing back, and I from the vantage point of the meadow's sacred ground see still the infinite twilight of the Light's blue sky. "H-hey, not y-yet no, I'm not ready! Don't leave now!" I cast my hand up to the sky and will the sky to rise with an affable blue. The panic subsides bit by bit and I keep the hand upward until the blue returns. "This is my home."
 

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