Private Confessions

[Elise]

Elise was not a hard one to find. The Assembly member was often found in the Halls of Healing or among the Padawan classes. She took a hands on approach to the training of the younglings, making her a familiar face among the crowd. But today was not a day for politics or classes, the Master taking a break from the demands of her work to meditate in the Temple Gardens. It was a peaceful place, full of winding walkways and flowering bushes tended to by the hands of many. She sat on a stone bench tucked to the side, the very same bench she always took when step out to visit the location.

She was a creature of habit, which left her blonde head easy to predict and spot through the foliage of the path. She sat cross legged, eyes closed as she she enjoy the warm beam of the sun on her face and let her mind fall still.


AfroBandit20

 

[Cadere]

It was rare for Cas to be nervous meeting with Jedi higher ups, but this was a different case - he was practically snitching on a fellow Jedi and it wasn't a great feeling. Out of all the Council Members, Elise was the one he felt was most approachable - probably having something to do with her being one of his early instructors when he joined the Order. As he made his way to the Temple Gardens, knowing for certain she'd be there... probably meditating too, he deliberated on how he'd address the situation to her as he twiddled his fingers together nervously.

Finally reaching the Temple Gardens, he easily spotted her through the foliage and surely enough, she was indeed meditating on one of the benches. With a deep exhale, Cas began walking toward her and as he drew closer, he grew more nervous. Stopping just in front of the meditating Master, the uncharacteristically nervous Padawan put his closed hand to his mouth and fake coughed to gain her attention.

"Funny seeing you here, Master Elise." he said casually and with a humorous smile "I was just here to mediate, myself." he jested, for anyone that knew him, knew that was father from the truth. However, he couldn't keep his high spirits up enough - he hung his head low and sighed "Master, I have troubling information to report..." he said glumly, rubbing the back of his head.

Elise

 

[Elise]

Elise opened her eyes, an edge of awareness to the gaze that held his back. The emotions radiating off the padawan left her posture straightening ever so slightly. Bad news was on the horizon. She received him with a soft smile, patting the bench besides her.

"And here I thought you just wanted to be my meditation buddy today," she sassed softly, turning so her legs were tucked under her as she faced him square on. "Practice does make perfect!" The joke fell flat in the face of his tension. The area around her was calm, a sensation she pressed upon the padawan, urging him reground himself to the moment.

"Troubling indeed," she empathized, studying his glum expression. "It's alright," she reassured, reaching out to lay her hand on top of his. "Speak your mind, I'm here."

 

[Cadere]

Forming a weak smile, the Padawan accepted Elise' offer and approached the bench and sat down next to her. He listened to her attempts at reassuring him, as she lay her hand on top of his a feeling of comfort and slight ease washed over him, however, his expression remained glum. Still feeling guilty for what he was about to do, Cas couldn't bear to look the Master in the eyes and so averted his gaze to his boots on the ground.

Cas closed his eyes and inhaled deeply once again before exhaling, finding his confidence to say what he needed to say. "It's about Knight Castor Azari, Master." he revealed, still trying to fight through the guilt he was feeling. Eyes still locked on the ground "We... were on a mission, to rescue a missing Jedi. Only, he had fallen to the Dark side and he attacked us..." pausing, Cas bit his lip and took another breath before continuing "Castor beat him in combat, disarmed him, had him at his complete mercy but..." the Padawan's face winced at the memory of Castor plunging his lightsaber through the Dark Jedi's chest.

For this last part of the confession, Cas' eyes locked onto the Jedi Master "He killed him, Master..." he said, shaking his head softly before placing his head in the palm of his hands. "I feel horrible that I had to rat out Castor like that..." Cas stated apologetically.

Elise

 

[Elise]

Elise withdrew her hand, allowing him to recount his story as she listened on passively. If he was worried over a strong reaction, he received none. If accurate, his account was troubling. But perception was a powerful thing. Elise knew that she lacked vital details that could shed light on a situation that otherwise painted the knight in poor taste.

She held off on making any immediate assumptions, looking to sooth the padawan before her instead.

"The truth is neither right nor wrong, it just is. He is responsible for his actions, not you. Thank you for coming to me, Padawan." She studied him for a long moment, concerned over what he had experienced.

"And how are you feeling about what you saw?"

 

[Cadere]

Her words were comforting but the fact remained - Castor, a man he thought he admired, broke the Jedi Code. When she asked him how he felt, his eyes went down again... to be honest, he didn't know what to feel exactly... when the Padawan confronted Castor about it prior, he raised some... fair points about the situation.

"I don't know, Master. I feel... confused" he shrugged lazily, "Part of me knows what he did was wrong, we aren't judge, jury and executors... we shouldn't make the choice on who lives and who dies when we have the chance but..." he paused, confidence failing him as he debated whether to reveal what the other half of him felt. After a few seconds of deliberation, he decided he had to and as he locked eyes with her once more he would make another confession "Another part of me sees his point."

"Castor told me that the Dark Jedi was manipulative, he intentionally threw away his lightsaber in order to loophole the Jedi Code." he revealed. Cas shook his head as he felt the shame for partially agreeing with such a dishonourable act.

Elise

 

[Elise]

"Hm," Elise commented, understanding how his confusion came about. She took a deep breath, then started careful, "Two wrongs never make a right. It is our job to protect and preserve, not punish and revenge. Besides," she untangled her legs, letting blood flow back into her feet as she took a more relaxed position with him.

"If we justify our wrongs by saying the other person did it first, then we are no better than the dark jedi he killed. Everyone believes they are in the right, young one. It is up to you to form your own morals. Listen to your heart. Do you believe Jedi Castor chose the jedi path? Or was that something different?"

 

[Cadere]

He nodded and listened to the advice Elise had to give, she was completely right in what she had to say. When she presented him with another question, a thoughtful one, which led the teen to stare at the ground but not in guilt or shame, instead it was deep thought. This would last a few moments before he eventually found an answer.

He looked up and locked eyes with her again, slight confidence restored in his brown eyes "I think..." he paused "I don't think so. I don't know what it is, but it isn't the Jedi Path." Cas confessed his opinion. He remembered when Castor attempted to justify his actions to Cas, Castor seemed so sure his way was right that Cas couldn't believe he was choosing the Jedi Path

Elise

 

[Elise]

Elise gave him a tight smile, approval in her gaze. "There are many paths. Do not concern yourself with what others choose. The moment we start thinking one right over the other is the moment we drift from our own creed. I sense that is what you saw in Knight Castor that day. I will speak with him," she reassured him, trying to catch his gaze.

"We all drift at some point, hm? What matters is what we do with it." She patted his leg, then stood. "I suggest you stay and meditate on this. -- And remember, there is no emotion, only peace." She gave him a saucy wink at her vagueness, then turned and left him.


The confliction he felt would get him no where he wanted to be. She hoped he'd find it in himself to release it. It was a hard skill to learn.