Mother of Pearl
Voss, Gardens
It had been over a year since Joza made the decision to leave Zeltros, abruptly ending her career as a cocktail waitress and dancer. She’d always felt that there was something missing in her life of parties, alcohol and sex. She still heartily indulged in them—albeit begrudgingly at times—as it was pretty much unavoidable. Born to a harlot of a mother and fathered by an unknown human male, the halfling Zeltron was raised in one of Zeltros’ foremost entertainment districts. Her childhood was an overstimulating mix of bright colors, loud noises and sometimes friendly strangers in her mother’s apartment. It was no wonder that she would grow up to have the same spice-induced glaze in her eyes as her mother, Annika.It wasn’t as dirty of a life as it seemed on the surface. Annika had been diligent in taking care of her only child, always making sure that the girl was cared for when she was away for work. Joza was certainly loved, but she still rebelled. Zeltrons were typically laid back and pleasure oriented; Joza was loud, obnoxious and picked fights. But when she hit puberty, the culture’s naturally hedonistic lifestyle began to smother her natural fire. She was fine for a while, but gradually began to grow dissatisfied. She craved a challenge, wanted to work toward something. Pheromones could only placate her for so long.
Letting her eyes fall closed, Joza straightened her back, but not uncomfortably so. Her hands rested at the knees of her crossed legs as she inhaled, slow and deep. Never would she thought she’d someday be here, meditating in a garden surrounded by gentle, light, natural noises. As a Jedi no less. She frowned suddenly, the thought triggering a memory of her Zeltron friends laughing in her face when she mentioned becoming a Jedi. Her? A space wizard? The ones that meditate all the time and don’t have any fun, right? Yeah, we’ll see how that goes. You’ll be home within a month.
In her learning, Joza had become more self-aware. When the frustration began to rise inside her, she recognized it, acknowledged it, then…let it go. With a heavy exhale, her shoulders slumped slightly. She couldn’t blame them for saying the things they had said, because they were right. The first few months away had been the hardest, and she would never admit to them how homesick she was. The only thing that kept her going was her desire to prove them wrong, even if it meant going through unintended pheromone withdrawal.
Rolling her shoulders, Joza settled down and concentrated on untangling her feelings. The events following her apprenticeship had been a whirlwind, overwhelming the girl and ultimately leaving her confused and scared. She panicked in her first battle with a Sith, radiating fear and uncertainty and eventually fighting like terrified animal. This pattern continued, but she’d come out alive, again and again. Ironically, it was a Sith Knight who’d helped her begin to deal with her fear of death in combat. Instead of leaving her after beating her in a fight, he’d actually taken the time to teach her a new saber form and offer some advice. As much as she was loathe to listen to the enemy, he had made an impression on her.
Her breathing was steadying now, beginning to even out. How much of a change it was from her first few disastrous meditation sessions. She really didn’t get the point to sitting and keeping quiet back then, but now she’d found comfort in reflection. Thinking of the Sith man stirred up other thoughts of the Dark Side. She’d had it drilled into her how bad and evil they were, but never had the chance to experience it herself. The more Sith she met, the more curious she became about the Dark Side. Not necessarily falling into it herself, but gaining an understanding of it. It was a dangerous line to walk, and not one that she was sure she’d be able to handle.
Six stones of varying size sat neatly in a line in front of the Zeltron. Slowly, she raised a hand and extended it outwards, unable to keep a slight flourish from her wrist as she did so. One by one, the stones would rise into the air and hover shortly above the ground. Joza felt as if she was neglecting everything but her saber training and meditation. Telekinesis had become an interest to her as of late, and she figured it would be best for her to be as rounded as possible. With subtle finger movements, the stones would form a rotating circle.
For a long time, Jedi training was a distraction for her. It allowed her to put her feelings and insecurities on the backburner, and pour her focus into something else. But they caught up with her, especially in rough situations—so now, she was trying something new. Joza would meet her emotions head on, taking the time to pick them apart and understand them. Though this, she found control and comfort. Maybe it was a result of the Jedi training, or maybe she was just growing up.