Private Comfort and Joy

[Ishani Dinn]

Chaldea

“Something’s been bothering you.”

Her lips still mouthing the words of the carolers, Ishani looked up at her mother, brow furrowed. Charisse caught her eye and studied her for a moment, then nodded, her suspicions confirmed. “Something happened while you were on Coruscant.”

“Mom, I—” Ishani broke off, unable to speak through the burn of fresh tears. Charisse immediately enveloped her in a hug, but Ishani still choked out a protest. “I’m just so happy to be here, and everything is so beautiful, I haven’t been able to stop crying all night…”

Charisse snorted. “Yeah, right.” And Ishani let her mother kiss her tears away.

Snow was falling as they bid each other farewell. Winter had come to Chaldea, and the chill threatened to bite through their coats. But it was the anniversary of Chaldea's founding, and so there was a celebration with music and festivities.

“I want to apologize,” Ishani began, pulling away from her mother. “For everything I’ve put you through. Running away, coming back…”

“Eh, I can’t complain too much. You brought back grandbabies.” Charisse stooped to embrace the twins.

Ishani glanced at her father, who stood by in silence. Father and daughter were no longer on speaking terms, but she sometimes spied an expression or two flickering across his stern features. A kindly glance toward the children, or a soft look her way that she caught out of the corner of her eye, gone before she could turn her head.

They said their goodbyes, and went their separate ways. None of them knew what she was about to do, and none could have guessed it might be the last time they’d ever see her.

The music went on playing as Ishani herded the twins toward her speeder. Her eyes were fixed on the snow-covered ground when a pair of boots stepped directly in front of her and stopped. Slowly, she raised her head, tracing the lines of Arlo Renard’s fur-lined cloak until she found his weathered face. He was close enough that she could pick out his baritone from among the singers, bellowing out glad tidings of comfort and joy, comfort and joy…

He looked right at her and cocked one eyebrow. She nodded her head in answer. He finished the refrain, then with a sweep of his cloak across the snow he followed her to the speeder.

***​

They stopped in the park. By eye it would’ve been hard to find the exact spot, especially with the snows having altered the landscape into a world of endless white, but Arlo could sense the lingering energies with the Force, like a signature. He flew them to the place where he and Marcus Roland had passed through a gate to the Netherworld, then turned to Ishani. “You don’t have to do this, you know.”

“I do,” she replied. “Consider it a trial.”

Arlo clenched his jaw, biting his tongue. He glanced toward the backseat.

Ishani turned around to face the children. They both looked sleepy, their eyes growing heavy in the warmth of the speeder’s heating, though they each grew attentive as soon as they saw her looking at them with such a serious expression.

“Marcus, Eloise,” she began, hardly knowing what to say to them. “Mommy’s going somewhere. I shouldn’t be gone for long. You’ll stay here with Mr. Renard until I get back.” Reaching out to touch their tiny hands, her voice fell softer. “I want you to know that I saw your daddy. I told him about both of you. He loves you both very much, even if he can’t be there for you. But I’m going to try and fix that, starting now.” She let go of their hands. “I’ll be back soon.”

The snow was falling harder as she exited the speeder, approaching the point Arlo indicated. She felt it too—the lingering energies like a scent on the frigid air. She pulled a long piece of string out of her pocket, tied a knot around her finger, and wound the other end of it around a nearby branch. Then she closed her eyes, summoned her blade, focused on the lingering energies, and swung.

The blade re-opened the portal as if it were slicing open an old wound. She wasted no time, leaping through the hole as soon as it was wide enough. It closed almost immediately behind her, and she held her breath—only to feel the incessant, irritable tug of the astral cord against her finger. It had worked.

She found herself standing in a black marble room. The atmosphere around her rippled with shock, confusion, and anger. Dropping her blade (it promptly vanished back into its pocket dimension), she held up her empty hands. “I don’t mean any harm!” she announced. “I’m here to see Kal of Kaas!”

Kal​

 

[Kal]

In the bowels of Kal's abode, a rift opened. An unauthorised rift. The air itself seemed to tense and thicken in response to the intrusion, the lights in the section flickering on, bathing the black marble in a sullen red glow. The passage leading to the abode proper was closed shut, as if sullenly awaiting the coming of its master.

There would be no immediate response to her entrance; no guards and no welcoming committee; nothing but silence.

Until that is, a segment of floor dissolved into inky blackness, rose upwards, and formed a spindly humanoid body.

"Sufficient remnants for a rift, hmm? I must be getting sloppy." The voice flowed from his general direction, but his vague approximation of a human lacked mouth, nose, and ears - every 'minor detail' but the eyes, really. "Kal of Masque, please. Dromund Kaas was merely where I first found myself in Realspace. It has quite the frail veil, for obvious reasons."

Generations of reckless Sorcery would do that to a world, even with uninhabited stretches in between.

Ishani Dinn​

 

[Ishani Dinn]

Ishani’s eyes started to glaze over as Kal lectured her about his name. Kal of Kaas was what he had called himself when she knew him, years ago, at the Academy—it would be hard to get used to calling him Kal of Masque, especially since she didn’t even know what Masque was…

Then she remembered what she was here for, and her eyes lit up.

“Oh Kal, if you had a real body, I’d hug you and kiss you! Arcturus Dinn told me you showed him a portal back to Realspace—I’ve come to thank you for sending him back.” Even if it was only for a night.

Only a night. Force, she was already getting ready to bargain for more time, even willing to go so far as making a deal with a demon to do it.

“And… I want to ask a favor of you. I don’t know if it’s possible, and I know you probably don’t have any reason to help me, but… it’s for Arc’s sake, too.”

Kal​

 

[Kal]

"Oh, this body is quite tangible." As if to illustrate his point, he clapped his hands, the sound a grating mixture of metal striking metal and metal striking liquid. It made nails on a blackboard sound pleasant. "Thanks, but no thanks, however."

Tilting his head sideways, the unblinking pinpricks of light that served as his eyes seemed to brighten. "I consider him a friend. I am always willing to help my friends, but I am sure you understand that your word won't be taken as fact." Not without proof or investigation, anyway. There was little to no trust between them, for obvious reasons.

He very purposefully did not comment on the favour she had mentioned. No payment was needed to offer a reasonable degree of assistance to Arcturus Dinn - and he would not be bribed into acting in a way that would hurt him.

Ishani Dinn​

 

[Ishani Dinn]

Ishani flinched at the awful sound Kal had made with his hands, more bewildered by it than anything else. She was quick to dismiss it, unwilling to let anything so petty sour her gesture of gratitude.

His next few statements, however, made her furrow her brow. "My word? You don't believe that he came back? Or... do you mean you didn't help him escape the Nether by showing him a portal to Denon?"

But why would Arcturus Dinn lie about a thing like that? It made no sense. She shook her head, again shrugging it off. "The favor is simple enough. I want your help making a more practical version of this." She held up her hand, where the string was tied around her finger. "I call it an astral cord. It should be able to keep a person rooted, temporally at least, in Realspace. That way time won't pass at a more rapid rate for them while they're in the Netherworld. Arcturus lost nearly four years while he was in here—I'm sure I don't need to explain the psychological toll of that. He says something pulled him in, and he doesn't know how to fight it. So I want to give him something that can at least ensure he doesn't lose everything each time he winds up here." Or to at least give me a means of visiting him.

The string was obviously impractical. Its distance was limited, and it could easily be severed or untied. Something more metaphysical would perhaps be an ideal replacement, but Ishani was no longer a practitioner of alchemy, or even really of the Force.

"If you can't help me with this, then all I ask is that you... look after Arc, please," she said, her voice growing softer as she swallowed her emotions. She wasn't yet ready to accept the idea that there was nothing she could do, and much like Kal, nothing could convince her except hard proof that all hope was lost.

Kal​

 

[Kal]

Telepathy would never have produced such a blatant misunderstanding. "I won't uncritically assume that what you think is best for him is necessarily what he would want." Or failing that, what he really needed to grow and enjoy life.

Examining her construct critically, he found it crude but situationally useful. "Graceless, but functional. Time is not merely an individual matter, mind you - I dare say it may be risky trying to force one's will against a drastically different reality, at least without considering alternatives." A mechanism of warning-cum-departure seemed less dangerously ambitious.

"Whether or not I can come up with an alternative depends on the nature of his condition." That was mostly untrue but plausible enough. Contracting a Ferryman long-term would be an expensive but reliable solution, for there were few to no corners of reality they could not reach. The real question was if Arcturus wanted to stay.

"I can at the very least do my best to keep him safe." That he could promise.

Ishani Dinn​

 

[Ishani Dinn]

Ishani's front of beseeching gratitude began to slip, cracks forming in the mask.

"I never said—all right, why don't you ask him? In fact, why don't you help me find him? He came back for one night, then left because of some bullshit about him not being good enough. Yeah, let's listen to Arcturus himself—the guy who thinks he's 'toxic' and 'contagious' and that he somehow 'sours' the lives of everyone around him, so he decided to run away!"

Did we say her front "slipped up"? We meant "practically fell off". The mask was shattering.

"Look, Kal—I know that you don't like me, and I don't like you. But I love Arcturus, and if you really care about him…"

She covered her face with her hands, on the verge of tears. She'd been crying so much lately, it was surprising she still had any tears left to shed.

Kal's prognosis was… not quite grim, but not all that reassuring either. Ishani lowered her hands, her expression still contorted with miserable grief.

"I'm willing to move heaven and earth for him. Whatever it takes. I… need him, and I feel like he needs me. It's like I can sense it, his pain…" She swiped at her watering eyes and sniffled. "If you can help, please do. That's all I ask."

Kal​

 

[Kal]

There it was, plain as day. Arcturus had made a choice, albeit one tinged by some worrying concerns.

Kal was in no way shape or form inclined to deprive him of that choice, especially to reunite him with this most dubious of individuals. "It is not an easy thing, finding someone in the vastness of the Netherworld." If he even was in the Nether. "I will do what I can to locate and help him, however. I can promise no more than that."

Help him, not help her. It was clear she wanted to be with him, but it was not at all clear the feeling was wholly mutual.

Ishani Dinn​

 

[Ishani Dinn]

“I don’t think he’s in the Netherworld right now,” Ishani replied, trying to regain her composure. “He’s somewhere in Realspace. It’s just as hard to find someone out there as it is to find someone in here, trust me.”

She had even tried hiring info brokers and private detectives. All they had been able to find was blurry footage of what looked like Arc having a stint in a Geonosian arena. If that wasn’t a surefire sign he was in trouble, she didn’t know what was.

“So you won’t help me with this?” she asked, tugging lightly on her string. Kal was being very squirrelly about this whole thing; his words were clipped and tightly controlled. She suspected he would prefer she were out of the picture, and while that enraged her, she couldn’t quite blame him for it. After all, this whole matter probably looked to him like Ishani was being pushy, trying to worm her way back into the life of a man who had been trying to avoid her.

Arc had made it clear that he wanted to stay away. He’d come only to offer her closure; he’d told her he was no good for her or their kids, and while they may have spent the rest of the night together, he’d left in the morning, leaving behind only that damned crystal and the note that made it all too clear what it was for.

He wanted her to forget him.

Well, she couldn’t.

Arcturus. Arcturus, Arcturus, Arcturus. We can’t keep crashing together like this. I wish I could just talk to you, sort things out. I’ll listen to you, if you’ll listen to me.

She knew she couldn’t accept the current state of affairs—but only because she didn’t understand why he was pushing her away. She truly believed he still had some good in him, that he could be something more than a pawn of random misfortune. This whole business with the Netherworld was a problem that could be solved, one way or another.

Or maybe it couldn’t, and she was just selfish. Terribly, terribly selfish, and so stupidly in love with her Academy boyfriend she couldn’t live without him. Never mind the Senate, her people, her family, or any of the other duties and responsibilities that had been heaped upon her. She wanted to have her cake and eat it too.

One thing was certain. If Kal wouldn’t help her, she’d find another way.

Kal​

 

[Kal]

It was even harder to find people in Realspace, if they attempted to hide. That was Kal's experience, anyway. If they didn't, however, if they were just throwing caution to the wind... well, Greystone had eyes and ears in a great many places.

Assuming, of course, that he even wanted to find Arcturus. She was unconvincing, but then Arc might be in trouble.

Better safe than sorry. At the same time as he arrived at this conclusion, Ishani's question was met by an unblinking stare that was not strictly hostile nor terribly empathic. <If he is in an unfortunate position, I will do my best to help him, but I have no intention of playing couples therapist should he wish to be apart from you. That is his choice.>

A choice Kal happened to approve of quite strongly, mind you. If a single day with Ishani had truly made the man run of to do something stupid, it only reaffirmed the Shadow's first impression - she would only cause problems for him.

Ishani Dinn​

 

[Ishani Dinn]

Her hands balled to fists at her sides, her voice becoming dangerously tight. "Are you saying that if you find him first, you'll go out of your way to keep him from me?"

Arcturus' choice. His choice, Ish. After a moment's breath, she forced herself to relax some. "Will you... at least inform me that he's okay, if or when you find him? Or tell me if something goes wrong?"

Of course, she would rush to the rescue. That was obvious. Hell, she'd rush to him in general, as soon as she knew where the hell Arc was. But... but. That was her affair, not Kal's. All she was asking for at this point was information. She wanted to be kept up-to-date, regardless of what happened or what state they found Arc in.

She needed to know.

Kal​

 

[Kal]

There was a long, thoughtful silence as she made what was very likely her final request. Kal could have told her what she wanted to hear, but he was nothing if not a Shadow of his word. "I will let him know you came looking for him."

The words were calm, methodical. As if he had considered every possible fragment of phrasing.

"I will only inform you of my own initiative if he is incapable of making the choice." Literally, doubt would by no means be enough. Arcturus would have to get himself killed or put in a coma. A coma that prevented telepathy.

He would certainly not rat out his location to a clingy former lover, just like that.

Ishani Dinn​

 

[Ishani Dinn]

Ishani simply stared at the Shadow. Kal certainly was lucky that Arc considered him a friend, and that he still could be considered useful.

"As long as he knows that I'm available, if he needs me," she whispered, her voice tight. "Then I will leave him in your capable… hands."

She turned around, summoned her sword, and swung it. The blow tore an ugly and jagged gash between realities, which she then stepped through.

On Chaldea, the snow had begun to fall faster. She untied the string with trembling fingers, then ran toward her speeder, sensing the heat and energy of other living beings within. Once she was inside the vehicle, she released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.

"How long was I gone?" she asked.

"Half hour, maybe," Arlo replied.

So, her invention had worked. She craned her neck to look in the backseat. The children were fast asleep.

Arlo started the engine. "You know how I feel about all this," he muttered. "So I won't repeat myself. But this Netherworld stuff gets really screwy. If you can't think about yourself, at least think about your kids."

Her kids were the one major obstacle to her plans. If she lost anything truly worthwhile in her quest to tame the Nether, it would be the chance to see them grow up. Ishani's stomach knotted at the thought. No, she couldn't see them as obstacles…

Combing snow from her hair with her fingers, for a long time she was silent. Then with a sigh she said, "I'll figure it out, don't worry."

Kal​

 

[Kal]

It was clear Ishani was less than pleased with the outcome, but it was just as clear Kal would not budge.

There was nothing she could possibly offer that would convince him to place her needs before a friend's.

As she tore open the rift once again, the Shadow remained where he stood, scrutinising the remnants. Evidently he judged it and found it wanting, for not long after her departure the inky black construct made a series of sharp gestures with its appendages. As cracks appeared in the floor and ceiling, it too collapsed into nothingness.

From the abode proper, Kal watched as the Foyer collapsed into the primordial matter from which it had been forged, another slowly being assembled in its place by work crews of formless, mindless things.

The last thing he wanted was a Chaldean infestation.

Ishani Dinn​