Chimera (humaniod) ready

[Saiac Syxx]

Intent: Kill force users, Avenger, Assassin
Image Credit: n/a
imagesCanon: N/A
Canon: N/A
Links:
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Thinsuit

GENERAL INFORMATION

Name: Chimera
Designation: Sentient
Homeworld: N/A nomadic
Language: basic, various (voice modulator requred)
Average Lifespan: 75 standard years
Estimated Population: Unique (six have been made only one survived)
Description: The Chimera's bare body appears dessicated, it's ribs are visable along with some of it's organs protruding from it's stomach. It's eye sockets are empty with strips of metal bolted into the orbital bones, the lower parts of it's limbs are covered in spiky flesh like protrusions. It's skin is pale white and covered in scale like patches. The chimera's lower jaw is removed.

PHYSICAL INFORMATION

Breathes: The Chimera does not breathe instead It absorbs the nessisary nutriants from consumables
Average height of adults: 1.87m
Average length of adults: N/A
Skin color: Pale White
Hair color: na
Distinctions: genderless, eyeless (uses occular implants to see), jawless (uses a voice modulator) pale skin, spiny flesh like protrustions*
Races: Gand, yuuzhan vong, ysalamir. (Genitic meterial from each race is presant)
Strengths:
Enhanced reflexes
Enhanced durability
Greatly enhanced senses
Projects an "anti-force bubble" from it's body like the Ysalamiri.
Weaknesses:
Sonic weapons
Ion weapons in addtion to damaging it's cybernetics also harms the chimera's sense of balance and causes extreme dizziness.
Constant state of enduring agony
Requires a modified thinsuit to handle the sensory overload


CULTURE

Diet: liquid nutriant pack
Communication: Voice modulator, touch.
Technology level: Biotech, modern tech, archaic tech
Religion/Beliefs: N/A
General behavior: The Chimera can be seen as cold and unfeeling as it stalks and hunts it's prey, it has been observed aiding those it deems in need. For example it has been seen giving a destitute child a large credit chit and is suspected in sevral grizzly murders of known gang members.

HISTORICAL Info

The chimera was Created by a sith lord, it's creation credited to both gennetic manipulation and sith alchemy. Pain and combat are all the chimera has been subject too. As a youth the chimera was forced to kill it's five other siblings. It escaped it's maker, soon after becoming a faceless avenger and protector of the weak. Hutts, sith and jedi remain on it's kill list

 

[Saiac Syxx]

Edited

 

[Lief]

[member='Saiac Syxx']

Hey there, firstly welcome to Chaos.

Secondly, this area of the forums is for Character Sheets; to submit a species for review you'll want to have the topic moved to the Species Creation Forum. You can speak with a member of Staff to have it moved over, [member='Mahet'] would probably be your best port of call as she is the Codex Admin.

Beyond this you're missing some of the bigger pieces of information (specifically Culture and General Behaviour); since WIPs (Work-In-Progress Submissions) are not permitted in the Codex, you may want it first moved to the Pre-Codex so that you can finish working on it.

All the best with this submission!

 

[Saiac Syxx]

It wouldn't let me post in the afformentioned forum, thank you for your help.

Though Would a lab born monster have a culture?

 

[Quietus]

Moved to Pre-Codex

 

[Saiac Syxx]

Thank you Mahet.

Edited, and will be waiting on the anwser to my question on Culture.

Edited again on 1/19

 

[Saiac Syxx]

[member="Mahet"]
Ready to be judged

 

[Zeradias Mant]

Moved to live Codex for judging.

 

[Jairus Starvald]

Under review.

 

[Jairus Starvald]

[member="Saiac Syxx"]

Please review the species fauna template and add the missing fields. Also correct the fields to match the ones from the templates.

We do not allow for the template to be modified, we just accept additions that give extra lore or information to the submissions.

 

[Saiac Syxx]

Edited [member="Jairus Starvald"]

 

[Jairus Starvald]

[member="Saiac Syxx"]

Alright, so there is a lot to unpack here.

By the looks of it you are creating a species submission specifically for your character. This is fine and I appreciate the effort you are putting in it through the Codex, but we are gonna have to work on it a bit before this is ready to be approved. We got plenty of stuff to go through, so I am gonna take it piece by piece with you, so you don't get overloaded with edit requests.

First of-

Strengths & Weaknesses.

Strengths:
Enhanced strength
Enhanced reflexes
Enhanced durability
Greatly enhanced senses
Projects an "anti-force bubble" from it's body like the Ysalamiri.

Weaknesses:
Cannot consume "normal food"
Constant state of enduring agony
Requires a modified thinsuit to handle the sensory overload.


This guy is stronger, faster, more durable and has great reflexes, while also being able to neutralize the Force. Each thing on its own is fine, but together this makes for a -very- powerful and intense species.

On the flipside?

They have constant pain, can't eat 'normal' food and needs a specific suit. You might be feeling it already, your strengths are substantially more powerful than the weaknesses attached to it.

I want you to remove a couple of your strengths, add at least two solid weaknesses that balance this species out. One of the strengths I want you to remove is the anti-force bubble, because in its current form I don't feel it's a reasonable addition to the submission.

Tag me once you have made the edits and I will review it again.

 

[Saiac Syxx]

Edited [member="Jairus Starvald"]

 

[Jairus Starvald]

[member="Saiac Syxx"]

Please remove the ysalamir portions of the submission and remove it's anti-force field like I requested. That isn't something I will approve as it makes this species a touch too powerful.

I also want you to add more to the history. I am aware that this is a created species, but you can add more about the Sith Lord, how they were made, why they were made, things like that.

 

[Jairus Starvald]

[member="Saiac Syxx"]

Status update on this?

 

[Jairus Starvald]

[member="Saiac Syxx"]

I am going to archive this now for inactivity. You can request it be unarchived by [member="Allyson Locke"] or an RPJ.