Character Feedback: Are you not entertained?

[WolfMortum]

So...Like my old pal [member="Ryn'Dhal"], I figured it's about time I took the plunge and posted up one of my own. As a Writer I've only been around for just over a year but as a Character it took me some time to actually find the one that suited my style and liking.

Honestly, Veiere could well be your typical cliche Jedi and truthfully I don't mind recognizing that as it's the role I do enjoy but I'm looking for feedback, interested to hear what others think I could be doing better or like and aren't so fond of.

Below is a quote of all of my current threads, some finished, others having gone inactive for whatever reason and a number still on-going. Veiere's currently mixed up with [member="Lady Kay"] and the minor-faction of Commenor so that's probably where you'll find most of the currently active content.

The Church of the Force is also starting up again under new leadership so he'll be involved there as well over the coming threads I imagine.

Spoiler

|| ROLE-PLAYS ||
​

|| Public Threads ||

Absolution - Public thread. Concluded.
Heeding the Call (Raxian Empire). Inactive.

|| Private Threads ||

The Old and the New - Private Thread (Lady Kay). Concluded.
A constant in all things - Private Thread (Theodred Heavenshield). Concluded.
Treehouse (Karen Roberts). Inactive.

|| Training/Teaching Threads ||

In all things, The Power of the Force (Lady Kay). Concluded.
Stepping back into the life (Ayumi Pallopides). Concluded.
The Path of the Jedi Consular (Cath Lorr). Inactive.
Third Eye, Blind (Ronen Jerik). Inactive.

|| The Galactic Republic Dominions ||

Paradise Lost (Republic Dominion of Mimban). Concluded.
Paradise found: Rebellion of Mimban (Republic vs BTS/ME). Concluded.
Returning to the Cradle (Republic Dominion of Deneba). Concluded.
Black Empire Rebellion of Deneba (BE vs GR). Concluded.

|| The Church of the Force ||

Conclave of the Jedi Order (The Galactic Republic). Concluded.
Night Gathers...(The Silver Watch). Inactive.
Uprising (Qui-Gon Jinn's Holocron). Inactive.
Return from whence we came Active.

|| Commoner ||

The Commenori await you (Lady Kay plus Others). Active.
My skin is cold to the human touch. Active.
Hoping for a brighter future (Kay & Samka) Active.
Sword of Light (Lady Kay). Active.
This time you are invited (Kay & Connor Harrison) Active.
A slightly productive meeting (Commenor Security) Active.
Celebrations, Day One: The shows Active.
Celebrations, Day two: Charity Fundraiser Active.
Even Angels Sin (Jen & Kay) Active.

FYI, other former (Inactive) characters of mine were:
Karrus Zorathi.
Zarack Zorathi.
Mulokhai Pharise.

Cheers guys!

 

[Placeholder 04]

Veiere is fantastic and stands as one of the best Jedi on the forum. Continue being awesome, you marmy bastard.

[member="Veiere Arenais"]

 

[WolfMortum]

[member="Darth Mephirium"]

Hah! I dunno if I'd quite go that far...Lmao, I wasn't even sure if you were still about on Chaos!

Glad to see you're still here kicking up a storm.

 

[Zak Dymo]

[member="Veiere Arenais"]

I love how you handle the characterization of your character. He's not the stereotypical Jedi, and your writing brings that through very well. I very much enjoyed the few opportunities that I had to write with you in the past, and hope to be able to write with you more in the future.

 

[Ryn'Dhal]

[member="Veiere Arenais"]

You've always been a pleasure to write with, and you've also always been a pleasure to read.

There are a small few writers who fall into my "Guilty Pleasures" category.

Some are individual ([member=Tirdarius])

Some are in particular literary pairings ([member="Boo Chiyo"] & [member="Irajah Ven"], and yourself with [member="Lady Kay"]).

Keep on being amazing my friend, and I'll keep on stalking-er-I mean-reading!

 

[WolfMortum]

[member="Boo Chiyo"]

Our brief Rp was amusing and enjoyable none the less, I really liked the way you portrayed the characters youth on Rhen Var and I was a bit guttered that thread died but we were all caught up in other area's haha, I'll welcome the chance to return again and rp with you buddy

[member="Ryn'Dhal"]

Very much a fan of [member="Tirdarius"] too, he's always been a gifted Role-player over the years we've known each other. Incredibly mindful around the theoretical side of the Force and both the Jedi and the Sith lifestyle. Between you and myself however I believe we were talking about some sort of lesson or exercise. Telepathy wasn't it? Keep that on the books mate, I'll be more than happy to pursue it!

And yes, you know I'm a fan of [member="Lady Kay"]

 

[James Justice]

[member="Veiere Arenais"]

Along with Ryn, you are definitely one of my favorites. For me character "originality" or whatever isn't as important as the good writing (after all, we have all seen that character who was just too special). I think that you write very well. Every time I have had the fortune of seeing your writing in in threads you have certainly always been far above par. Your extravagantly good at what you do, and I enjoy reading your stuff.

I can't really say there are any complaints about this character--

except I'd love to see more of him but I think that about all the greats because they are great. I look forward to seeing Veiere and [member="Lady Kay"] fall in love. Cuase its happening Kay, he's a good guy and if James has to arrange the marriage he will do it

 

[WolfMortum]

[member="James Justice"]

Very kind words, thank you! Again it's very appreciated.

Unfortunately, I do struggle for activity from day to day what with my family and IRL priorities; it is arguably my biggest draw back but also something that cannot be helped. Role-playing has been a long-time love of mine since before coming to Chaos and finding this site was a real godsend really as I'd left the last Star Wars RP fueled environment and needed my fix, mange!

[member="Lady Kay"] was the second of the two to encourage Veiere out of exile, she's been involved since the first thread this Character held so there's a good length of history there and yes the two are close and seemingly growing closer but as a gentlemen, I'll say no more on the matter

The feedback given so far has been incredibly encouraging, thank you all

 

[Kay-Larr]

[member="James Justice"] Just because you're older by a couple of years, doesn't mean that you have the authority to arrange her marriage

[member="Veiere Arenais"] You are a fantastic writer, as others have stated. You're fair, respectful and entertaining both IC and OOC. I hope to get to your level some day with respect to your way with words and setting the scene

As for Kay and Veiere, it's a slow process, but they are getting there. Still in denial a bit on Kay's end at least. But it's breaking away bit by bit. One of these days, they might actually share a hug...lol

 

[Teynara Jeralyr]

[member="Veiere Arenais"]

Wouldn't have invited you if I didn't think you'd be amazing. You've not given me reason to think otherwise so far, so shush, and continue on!

 

[Tiland Kortun]

Ver is cool.

You have a really good sense of integrating description, action, and internal characterization all at the same time. It's great.

 

[WolfMortum]

[member="Tirdarius"]

Yes, everyone has you to either thank or blame for my place on Chaos, something I am incredibly grateful for, Brother! We still need to get involved in a thread again, it's been far too long since you and I had a good solid Roleplay together. I think Karrus and Alysara was the last one if I'm not mistaken?

[member="Tiland Kortun"]

And thank you Tiland, always nice to hear that you approve. You also play a Jedi Character very well so that is much appreciated.

[member="Lady Kay"]

As for Kay Larr and Veiere, yes Veiere had to break away from his strict following of the Jedi Code to approach the notion of attachment without completely shutting it down. Took a fair bit of Character development and time to get to where we are but it's all part of the fun and doing the RP the right way; there'd be no sense in rushing a good thing along.

 

[James Justice]

[member="Lady Kay"]

Who said this was based on rights?

 

[Kay-Larr]

[member="James Justice"] I said you didn't have the authority. And you don't So there!

 

[Ryn'Dhal]

[member="James Justice"], [member="Lady Kay"], [member="Veiere Arenais"]

*Strokes his furry chin* Hmm..... ideas, ideas.......

 

[James Justice]

[member="Ryn'Dhal"]

We totally need to work together to make them have a surprise wedding.... It'd be the best.

[member="Lady Kay"]

I'M NOT THE BOSS OF YOU!!!!!

I mean....

wait......

I think I got that wrong.

 

[Kay-Larr]

[member="Ryn'Dhal"] [member="James Justice"]

A surprise wedding? Where the bride and groom don't even know about it?...Riiiiiight. Like that'll happen

[member="Veiere Arenais"]

They are teaming up against us...Why oh why did I agree to adopt brothers?

 

[WolfMortum]

[member="Lady Kay"]

You did it so that in the future, I will not be surrounded by nagging women (Not to say you'd be one of them of course ).

[member="James Justice"] | [member="Ryn'Dhal"]

The Bar tab needs to be up there, plenty of drinks for such an occasion. Also, Celebratory Cigar's and good music. Not the Tatooine Cantina music but something like...-Well hell, after Kay's singing in this thread we can just get her up on stage. If anyone ought to steal the show, it'd be her.

...We can also take private bets as to who's first to drink more than their fill and start a brawl. I have yet to have Veiere over-indulge. He could use some down time.

 

[Kay-Larr]

[member="Veiere Arenais"] [member="Ryn'Dhal"] [member="James Justice"]

*jaw drops*

Why oh why do I suddenly feel ambushed? And there's no mention of tea. Are you sure that you're not picturing a bachelor party?

 

[WolfMortum]

[member="Lady Kay"]

Riiight, right....

-Suppose we should get back on topic.

Anything you guys haven't enjoyed from my Rp's thus far, dare I ask ?