Private Broken, Lost and Furious

[Tarw Rhyfelwr]

Location: Selvaris
Outfit: Armour
Equipment: Rotary Cannon, hand cannon, beskad
Tag: Efret Farr

The Galactic Empire fell and Tarw thought that something new, something better that could be created in it's place that provided his home peace. Then news hit him that a Sith Covenant group claimed Coruscant. It was news that slammed into Tarw's chest like a sledgehammer, everything that he had been attempting to organise. Attacking bases, exploding imperial recruitment centres, military bases and the like. There was no major success in his missions, he hadn't been able to find a time to coordinate a team that lasted longer than a mission or two. It was a struggle and there were always casualties. He just needed to prove that Sith, Imperials, the whole cursed bunch could be wiped out of the core. That the lives spent liberating worlds was not a waste of a sacrifice.

There was always just one more mission. Just one big break to make sure that things get sorted.

All he needed was more ammo, fuel and some other basic supplies. It had been far too long since the last supply run and if he wanted to ensure this mission worked out then he needed to get some decent supplies. Selvaris was the closest world to him and with low fuel, it was his best chance out of the worlds near to where he was. Setting course, Tarw sighed, standing and checking himself in a medbay mirror. His body was littered with scars now. His face grizzled with a rough, unkempt beard and his hair was seemingly crushed into a helmet hair style. He had stopped taking care of himself for many months now and it felt like that decision aged him ten years older than he actually was.

Splashing some water on his face, he didn't linger on the thoughts of having let himself look like a rough, homeless soldier. Ironically enough, that was how he felt. There was no home for him now, there was no aim in his life besides doing what he could where he could. Trying to take down the evil forces corrupting his home.

Arriving on Selvaris, Tarw stepped off the ship and walked out, heading towards the stores. He was in his armour but the helmet was off for now. His weapons on him since they were the most expensive and deeply important objects in his life. He stopped in his tracks, looking over to where he recognised a face. A face that he had not seen in a long time. A face that he did not think he would see again. It was strange to realise how much time had passed since the last time he had see her. How much Tarw had changed since then.

But he figured he couldn't ignore the familiar sight. Stepping into Efret's view, Tarw held his hands up to sign as he spoke. "Hey there stranger. Long time no see, how have you been?" It was a softer voice than Tarw had been used to using for many months now but it was nice to feel it for a moment.

 

[Efret Farr]

Rix wasn't at the Enclave.

Good.

And the local quartermaster reported that he had left a few days ago for Naboo.

Even better.

Efret had returned to Selvaris to see if the reformed Jedi needed any further encouragement to visit Miona. It seemed that he needed none, that he had taken her advice to heart the first time she had given it.

Tarw wasn't the only one in need of supplies. After her journey to find Malcoma, which took her from Naboo to Selvaris to Denon then throughout deep space in the Mid Rim in her worn X-wing, Efret was in need of them too—though more of the rations and fuel than the ordinance variety, though preparation in the form of a few ion torpedoes never went amiss.

She and Nirrah were engaged in conversation with a landing pad attendant and didn't notice Tarw approach at first. But when the course of her chat concluded and the attendant walked away to see to other duties, and Tarw slid into her line of sight, her eyes widened with joy.

"Tarw!" As always, the tinny voice of her vocabulator was unmodulated, but her lively facial expressions were like a tone themselves. Excited. Warm. Relieved. It had been a long time since they had seen each other, and though they had only met once, the circumstances of the encounter had allowed her to remember his name. In fact, those same circumstances were playing out in a way again: Efret was here to visit Rix, though he was a free man now.

"It's very good to see you." If Tarw would accept, she would throw her arms around him in a short embrace. When she stepped back, her eyes had lost just a bit of luster. "I've been..." she began, then shook her head. She didn't have to say a half-lie just to be pleasant. The loss of Coruscant weighed heavily enough on veterans of the Galactic Alliance, soldiers and Jedi both, to lithify their hearts.

"Alive," she corrected herself. "I'm trying to be grateful for that, but it's difficult some days." Then another correction. "Most days."

She gave him a small smile, not because she was happy beyond reuniting with him, but as a little act of defiance against the Empire and Sith and what they both had done to the Core.

Were doing to the Core.

Though it was heinous, undoubtedly, part of the misery and paralysis that it caused Efret was up to her.

And, as she had told him, she chose what little bit of gratefulness she could grasp.

"How about you?"

She prepared for a difficult answer, just as hers had been.

Tarw Rhyfelwr​

 

[Tarw Rhyfelwr]

Location: Selvaris
Outfit: Armour
Equipment: Rotary Cannon, hand cannon, beskad
Tag: Efret Farr

Tarw accepted the hug and it felt strange to have a moment of humanity, Tarw had been pushing himself hard in a very different direction since the last time he saw Efret. There was less hope in his heart for a bright future in the galaxy and more an understanding that oppression was going to exist until every person accepting of it had been eliminated. A pursuit that was long, aggressive and there were times where Tarw felt it was not possible for him to succeed.

"I am sorry that I didn't reach out sooner. I lost contact with many people during the initial fall of the Galactic Alliance." Tarw stated as he continued to sign, there was some sadness in his eyes. There were many that had been lost in the rise of the empire, more as it became clear that the Galactic Alliance could not recover. Tarw wondered what would be happening with the galaxy moving forward since every corner seemed to have some level of darkness building within it.

When Efret stated that she was just alive, there was a lot of weight that was not being discussed and Tarw nodded his head. "Broken in a way that I don't think I could go back to the person I once was." Death was too frequent in his line of work now, it had been prominent before the fall but it was only built upon. Tarw was colder and distance himself more with those working with him. He couldn't form attachments since they were never guaranteed another day. "I hope that some day that you feel more than alive some day soon."

"You deserve to feel excited and so happy." Tarw stated.

 

[Efret Farr]

She shook her head. "Thank you, but I don't, at least not now. The loss of the Core is too heavy. Feeling happy would seem...very inappropriate.

"I haven't been in contact with many people myself," she admitted, then hesitated shortly. Should she confide in him the reason?

Yes. Absolutely. He deserved that.

"Was I on the Council when we last met?" She couldn't remember that bit. Most of what she recalled when she looked back was her interaction with Rix and her deep concern for him—and hope for his eventual rehabilitation from the Lightsworn extremism that he clung to. "Service was an honor, perhaps the greatest of my life, but it was also difficult. In the end, I felt it had changed me for the worse."

She sighed. Even as she signed, she felt the contradictoriness of what she was saying stain her decorated fingertips like another layer of henna.

"I resigned from my position months before the Empire took Coruscant. Part of me feels like all that's happened since is my fault." That was ridiculous. Tarw didn't know Efret well, but he probably recognized that she didn't seem like a fighter, even if he didn't remember that she had done archeology for the New Jedi Order. One archeologist wouldn't, couldn't, have kept the Core in the hands of the Jedi.

Tarw Rhyfelwr​

 

[Tarw Rhyfelwr]

Location: Selvaris
Outfit: Armour
Equipment: Rotary Cannon, hand cannon, beskad
Tag: Efret Farr

Taking Efret's hand, he gave a gentle squeeze and looked into her eyes. There was a heavy amount of wordless pain in his eyes. The horrors that he had seen while fighting in the core. "You deserve to find any level of happiness you can." Tarw continued to sign as he spoke, his one hand still holding hers as he let out a sad sigh. "It is not a bad thing to have moments of happiness with what is going on. If we live in constant despair and drown ourselves in the guilt, why even fight? Seeing people like you in my life, seeing you happy, that is why I fight."

He chuckled and shook his head, letting go of her hand, "not as far as I am aware of last time. But I am not surprised. You are a smart and pretty cool person so makes sense that you were on that Jedi Council." He gave a frown when she mentioned it changing her for the worst. "I don't think so, I think you just ended up caring more for those around you and that can make things tough." Having the emotional ties to everyone around you and then seeing your home going through a massive shift, it can be distressing and wearing on the soul.

"It is never one person's fault for the events that happened in the core. People left because there was a fast shift in how things were going. The Empire was an aggressive force right from the start. They sprung out of nowhere and then were able to push the Alliance back repeatedly." Tarw had watched as nothing was changed from the Alliance's side to the increasing threats and pressures of the Empire. "The Alliance was too set in their ways, they didn't have the time to adjust and reorganise themselves to fight back. Then the Empire burned itself out and allowed the Sith Covenant to take over the territory without much resistance at all."

It seemed like a cycle of violence in the core that was never ending. "One person cannot change the fate of what happened. Don't linger on the what ifs, what could have been. Focus on what you can do now and what can be done now to improve things." While this was advice Tarw gave to others, anyone who knew the soldier as he was now, knew it was hypocritical and advice he refused to accept himself.

 

[Efret Farr]

"Seeing people like you in my life, seeing you happy, that is why I fight."

She gave a small but sincere smile and signed with one hand as well. "I'm glad that energizes you." Even knowing that, she couldn't bring herself to wish happiness for herself. She had been miserable for so long beneath her sunny disposition that she honestly didn't know who she'd be if she was any other way. And a large part of her didn't want to find out, even if the change would be good for her.

It seemed better—safer, easier—to stay the same. To continue to walk with her demons than try to leave them behind. At least they held her hand. At least the fire smoldering in them warmed her somewhat.

She listened to the rest that he had to say. He didn't think that she should blame herself. She nodded, a motion made out of acceptance of his point of view, not agreement with it. The Jedi way was not to argue, especially not about something like this. She ushered the conversation on.

"Improve," she repeated. "Yes. Is that why you're here?"

Tarw Rhyfelwr​