Private Breaking Ground

[Noelle Varanin]

Noelle's inner circle knew what she had left to do. Some supported the choice, others did not. The country needed her more than her mother did, but when it came down to making a choice she could live with... she had surrendered control of herself and the force in order to see Ashin in her cell.

It was risky. It had been done under the cover of Kal 's own handiwork. She told herself it was so she could say goodbye-- cut ties and free herself from the emotional obligations that could get in the way of her and her work. Eshan couldn't be dragged down by scandal for the crown, not when stability was finally within the planet's tentative reach.

She thought it would be as simple as looking her mother in the eyes and saying No. She had underestimated herself entirely.

She pushed through August Oreno 's doors, storming through his house like a hurricane looking for a place to land. When she found him her face would say it all-- pain that she had never shown him before, and grief.

She had just left her mother to possible death. There were no words, she keeled an inhuman sound and fell to her knees.

August Oreno

 

[August Oreno]

Noelle Varanin

"Oh, Noel-"

Turning around on his chair to meet her with a furrowed glance and- eyes widened almost as quickly as her knees went out. She had gone then after all. And... it had been as difficult as August feared. "Kark..." Muttered as he rose up to his feet, closing the distance quick and kneeling down next to her, one arm around her shoulders.

"Hey, hey..." What do you say in a moment like this? Everything would be okay? They could fix it?

None of it rang true.

"What can I do?" Murmured quietly as he stroked her shoulder and tried to console her.

While feeling powerless.

 

[Noelle Varanin]

Noelle shook her head, the keeling slipping out of her like steam from a kettle. There was nothing that could be done. Noelle had made her choice. Her fingers twisted into his shirt as she fell into him, heedless to distance she usually kept.

"I'm sorry," she croaked, pulling him closer. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry--" She laid her head on his shoulder and let the gut-wrenching sobs take her. It wasn't just about her choice. It was her pain and her fears, and the ground breaking revelation that she was her mother.

But Ashin never let others in, so she held tight and let it leak out from her.

August Oreno

 

[August Oreno]

Noelle Varanin

"Sorry?" Confused as he gently tried to guide her to the nearby couch. "What are you apologizing about?" As far as August knew she hadn't done anything wrong. Not to him, not to anyone. In fact. She was probably a bit too good. Trying her best to be everywhere at once, but ignoring her own limitations and needs at the same time.

They had arguments about that.

But it couldn't be about that.

"Can I bring you something? Tea? Maybe something to eat?" It seemed pathetic, but right now all that August wanted to do was take out the sadness and replace it with something... better.

 

[Noelle Varanin]

Noelle shook her head and let him move her, the pain crashing into one jumbled wave. She would tell him she was with child but now was not the time. She could barely acknowledge it, never mind face the crushing terror of- of-

The emotions bled from her and she let him be there. It was ugly and it was embarrassing, but once the lid was off Noelle found it very hard to stop. Maybe that was why Ashin never tried. Her thoughts kept twisting back to her mother and every time her pain took on a new light. It felt never ending, but it wasn't.

Eventually her energy ran dry and she leaned depleted in his arms. "...I feel so helpless," she finally admitted. They were not easy words to say.

August Oreno