Bijou

[Connor Harrison]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=97WYNGaqjuc​

Tatooine
Dusk


If there was a bright centre to the universe, Connor Harrison was stood on the planet that it’s farthest from.

To be honest, there was no evident bright centre anymore. For all he knew, Tatooine could be the brightest place to be. Five galactic months had passed since the depression had taken hold and the breakdown reduced the man to a wallowing shadow. Funny thing, the mind. It had lasted through so much abuse of both good and bad forces, conflicting sides of the battle and amassed so much knowledge over the years. Yet it was finally during a time of mild peace that Connor had probably let his guard down and it collapsed.

There was suddenly no point to his being here. He wasn’t the man he once remembered, and the scary part was he couldn’t even remember when that occurred. He only knew it was scary, and he was worse than any dark force he had faced because it was the enemy he could never escape from – himself.

Weight bore on bare shoulders. Hollowness etched away at the brain. There had been no drive to do anything, or be anyone. What was the point? The point had taken months to find. And here he was, still trying to find that point, but knowing at least what direction to head in.

Tatooine had been a special place for him at one time. A great many adventures had been had on these burnt orange sands beneath twin suns’, so it was the only neutral place he felt at home in. Nobody knew him here, so he was able to centre himself and strip back the façade of who he thought he was and find who he really was. And the Force was calling to him. He still had control of the age-old power that had once been a curse to him, but now was an empowering energy.

He had taken long walks, read many books and met many new faces and tried to see the galaxy in a new light rather than his narrow minded own. Everything had changed around him, but he was still here. He was alive, trying to become somebody again and find his bijou once more. It was daunting, but inside there was a droplet of excitement at the possibilities that would arise now he had survived his lowest point.

[member="Lilla Syrin"]

 

[Lilla Syrin]

For Lilla, Tattoine was like a great big magnet. A very hot and dusty one in fact. Despite every other person in the galaxy offering a disparaging remark about it (only Jakku seemed to have a worse reputation) — for Lilla it was as close to ‘home’ as it got. Not that she had wonderful memories of her time there, but it had memories and it felt familiar. Like an old pair of shoes that you knew needed to be thrown out, but they were just too comfortable to discard.

And when she needed to be centred, this was where she headed. The Jedi Order she’d joined was not at fault — she blamed herself. Nobody had done anything specifically wrong, it was just a feeling she had. A sense of something not quite right. Sure, they taught the Jedi Code, but she got no real sense of belief. And then there was the Force Sensitive she’d met on this very planet — part of some Justice League of Jedi it seemed — who told her things she could not ignore. Nor could she repeat without proof. And confrontation was not her way, so she moved on, leaving as silently as she came.

Was it time for a new beginning, or no more than a new chapter in the same story? And would she find answers here or did she risk wallowing in self-pity? She doubted the latter and was resolved not to go down that route. But, as she entered the atmosphere and headed for the Wastes, she did wonder what her true motives were.

She was a Jedi. She owed it to the galaxy to be honest.

She owed it to herself.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

There was no indication of long he had been leaning against the rock stalagmite, arms folded and looking into the twin suns setting on the horizon. They had sunk lower and lower, but it felt like time was moving so fast. Maybe that was how it felt when you truly had nothing else to focus on – time went by so fast but it was nothing but slow in reality. The ripples of pink clouds hung in the air, and a few dots peppered the sky. Ships coming in and leaving the spaceports of, if geography served him well, Mos Espa. But it could be Eisley? Never mind.

He glanced up at the sound of an engine echoing around the many cliffs and canyons of the Wastes. A craft broke through the high cloud, the dot of lights making it easy to pinpoint. Connor watched it fly smoothly around, and turned his head a little at the design.

It wasn’t one he recognised, but it had a look to it. That of some…of an Order? An old style of scout ship? State craft? He was intrigued. At one point he’d make the ship’s arrival personal - was it someone here to hunt him down, to finish the job, to bring him in….but now he was realistic. He knew nobody would care in the scheme of things to focus on an old name once known to many, now nothing but a small few.

Looking around, there were a few homesteads and outposts, but nothing like the cities further out. Was this a dweller? He just watched, and eyed it coming down.

There was no desire to involve himself as he so often did, but he WAS intrigued and kept looking to see where it went, where it would land and who – or what – was inside such a nice looking craft.

[member="Lilla Syrin"]

 

[Lilla Syrin]

Lilla had cycled through a few craft since leaving the Republic Order. Typically, it was because she’d had to leave hers behind and acquired something to get off planet. More often than not, it was formerly owned by crime bosses or pirates. But her modus operandi was always the same. To part-exchange it for something without a reputation attached.

She had never been bothered about how a ship looked and given she was primarily operating as a field Jedi, it’s fighter capabilities were relatively unimportant – although speed and decent shields were never a bad thing.

Right now, she was using an old ‘Explorer Class’ scout ship. Just 15 metres long, it had a dual laser cannon mounted on a turret and had a reasonable cargo capacity too – with two berths (although it could be flown by one crew). The handiest addition from the standard specification was two restraint capsules.

She navigated the Wastes – knowing the area intimately – and she landed close enough to her old patched up hovel to be able to walk it – and not close enough to draw the eye to it.

Once she powered the ship down, she pulled hon her cloak over her robes and lowered the exit ramp. The heat was, oddly enough, welcome – and she smiled as she stepped off the ship and began to trek to her old home, curious to see if it was still uninhabited.

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Connor stayed still as the ship came down, swirling up and sending out mini cyclones of sand and dust into the air. Tatooine was sparsely populated, and many of the homesteads were spread few and far between. Moisture farms for the most part, a few spaceparts across the globe…people landing armed craft were landing for a reason, not simply to have a rest or refuel.

As the ship engines cooled, the loading ramp extended and allowed a figure to emerge. A female, judging by her frame and way she walked…though Connor could be wrong if some alien being was a male and had such a slender figure and delicate walk. Robed to protect themselves, the traveller emerged into the harsh warmth knowing exactly where to go and not wasting a second.

His blue eyes followed the figure who seemed content to be alone and on her path. He was certainly curious, but he had no right to be. She couldn’t be a local resident – not in that ship and certainly not the way she landed away from most settlements on the outskirts of the Wastes.

Letting the curiosity get the better of him, Connor walked over to the cockpit of the small single-man ship he piloted among the stalagmites and reached in to get his small electrobinoculars. He turned, blowing them clean, and put them up to see into the distance where the ship landed. Turning this way and that, twisting the focus, he found the robed traveller walking to a settlement.

Lowering it, Connor frowned slightly.

She wasn’t going….no. Not that way, surely.

He raised them to see what secrets – if any – this traveller was heading for and if there was a need for one man trying to do the right thing again to step in.

[member="Lilla Syrin"]

 

[Lilla Syrin]

Once upon a time (which sounds like the beginning of a fairy story, which in some ways it was) Lilla knew this place as where she lived as a slave. Then she knew it as a place where she eked out a living, feeding on scraps - refusing to bow down to the inevitable pressure to turn to a life of crime to exist. She had no idea why she refused - she just did. So you'd be excused for wondering why she was returning, given so many at best unhappy and at worst desperate memories came from this place. Maybe it was because, wherever she roamed, whoever she met, she still saw this planet as home.

And right now, when her moral compass was unflappable but her geographical one was wavering, she needed somewhere she could anchor herself. Somewhere familiar, somewhere that - warts and all - she was intimate with. For all that had been written about the planet - by residents and visitors alike - it was somewhere she could come back to at any time of her life and know who she was.

For, as fragmented as her life felt, she had no time for self-pity and hardly any more time for finding answers for herself. For, as Lilla saw it, the show must go on...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t99KH0TR-J4

 

[Connor Harrison]

This traveller he had met before. He knew it. He felt it. The whole aura around them was familiar. There was a sense of mystery and secrets, questions and answers mixed together – it was a person he had met before on these very sands.

Connor tossed the binocs back into the cockpit and pulled the hatch closed. There was no locking process or security procedure; it just clamped shut, and that was enough. Unless a Jawa could fly, he doubted the small craft would be at risk. He turned back to the new ship and the walking figure and started after them.

If he was wrong, then there was no fault simply reaching out to a fellow wanderer, showing an interest and seeing if they could point him in the direction of just what was going on in the galaxy. The closer he came to the ship, the more the colour and frills screamed that of an official vessel. Republic? Imperial? He couldn’t be sure. The figure wasn’t walking with haste, but still walking. Connor glanced at the craft as he passed, picking up the pace into a small jog, holding his cloak back from billowing behind him as the warm wind swirled randomly across the sand.

His footsteps in the dunes would be evident by the sound of the sand crunching and sliding under his boots.

”Excuse me.”

Connor called out.

”I hope you know where you’re going – the Wastes aren’t to be travelled lightly!”

[member="Lilla Syrin"]

 

[Lilla Syrin]

Lilla smiled. She'd sensed a presence behind her for a short while. Given she was back on 'home' soil and the likelihood of seeing another should was so remote, she'd lowered her natural defences. When she first left this planet, the conscious effort was to protect her natural empathetic tendencies from overwhelming her. Now, it was the other way around. Through her development of the Force and her abilities with Meditation, she'd learned to build a natural defence, that only significant conscious effort could lower. It was, in a way, like walking along the sea shore with no shoes on. There was a positive natural sensation but also some discomfort from the occasional pebble.

But as soon as she'd sensed someone, she'd allowed the shutters to automatically fall and instead used the Force to sense her companion. The signs were positive, the aura was not dark. But she continued to walk, regardless, unsure if the stranger wanted to be spotted. Until he called out of course and she recognised the voice. Maybe it was because of the familiarity of the setting? Regardless, she turned to face him.

"A Jedi never travels anywhere with our purpose," the grin was still on her lips. "And I know precisely where I'm going. Do you?"

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

With a casual grace, the figure turned to meet Connor’s gaze and he smiled at the familiar face. A familiar face however, but for the life of him couldn’t quite remember her name. Last time he had seen her was here on Tatooine, in the process of rounding up some local degenerates.

She was….Republic, if memory served him well. And to be honest his memory hadn’t been best of recent months so it probably didn’t serve him well at all.

”Oh, you know me,” he said, keeping the pace to walk towards her over the sand, ”I just end up where I’m needed by will of the Force. Keeps me out of trouble that way.”

Connor stopped a comfortable distance from her.

”Nice to see you again. But, no, I don’t really know where I’m going but I’m here without an end target. In that case I know where I’m going, and that’s anywhere, because I’m not going anywhere.” He shook his head. ”That was over-complicated.”

He looked up and gestured around the sun-baked desert with his hand.

”More local trouble? Seems you can’t stay away from this place. Or are you here socially.”

[member="Lilla Syrin"]

 

[Lilla Syrin]

Lilla smiled broadly. “The funny thing is, in my experienced the Force tends to keep me in trouble – or at least in the thick of others’ shenanigans. Which is why, I suspect like you, I tend to end up where I end up. Rarely as a result of a plan these days, more likely linked to what many called fate. Or perhaps, in a galaxy like this, you could land on any planet and find wrongs to right.”

“So, no social visit as such. More an opportunity to recalibrate my compass. Not my moral one, that one seems fine to me. But in terms of where I’m headed. Without a clear direction, I fear I am wasting time and not maximising the good I could do. Have you ever felt like that?”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Maybe this Jedi of the Republic was reading his mind, peering into all the dark crevices and gloomy voids; empty pockets where there had once been Light and now, just nothingness. Or, maybe, he was very much an open book.

”Have I ever felt like that?” He smiled and shook his head lightly. ”My dear, I’ve been there for what feels my entire life. Come, don’t let me slow you down, if you don’t mind company.”

He walked over to the Jedi and looked out into the Tatooine sands, framed by the imposing Wastes beside them.

”I think I was drawn back here because it’s a place that somehow always feels untouched by problems. It’s a place to reset yourself – reset your compass – and find the direction you need to go in. I don’t think I’ve moved forward since the last time we met. But I intend for that to change.”

”I intend to do nothing but make the most of my time here. Good thoughts, good words, good deeds.”

[member="Lilla Syrin"]

 

[Lilla Syrin]

Lilla paused in her journey and faced Connor. She never for one moment believed her situation was unique – but on the other hand, she had been surprised at how many others shared her views and experiences.

And compared to some, her situation was very recent and she had not had to endure it for any length of time. “I don’t mind company at all,” she said, smiling. “In fact, I’d appreciate it.”

She nodded at Connor’s words and when he had spoken she smiled again, this time a little ruefully. “Oh, it has its fair share of problems – no more or less than any other planet – but it certainly hasn’t escaped them. But the wilderness can be a useful backdrop for reflection. Yes, it is possible to meditate anywhere, but here there is a solitude that affords an individual a chance for self-reflection that can be conscious. Because the Force rarely provides answers, in my experience. Rather it provides the right sort of questions and it is for the Jedi to seek the solution, with the helpful guidance of the Force of course.”

“And please don’t think that means that I want to be alone. I have a lifetime to achieve that, whereas who knows when I’ll get the pleasure of your company again. And maybe we can help each other along the way?”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

The girl spoke sense, and he nodded in agreement.

”Oh of course, of course. Hence my being here. In my years I’ve found myself on Tatooine more than often simply seeking solace. It then leads to a number of adventures and death-defying escapades. In fact you’d think I come here LOOKING for it. I don’t. Not that I avoid it, but as you say, coming here helps you focus, find yourself and seek the answers to the questions the Force throws on you.”

Right now, he had little standing to preach about finding answers, but he was here and he felt optimistic.

”And you don’t want to be alone all the time do you? I mean, you don’t have to achieve being alone. I thought that was best at one point but now, it doesn’t always sound like it would be.” He smiled at her and shrugged. ”If the pleasure of my company means getting into adventures and death-defying escapades, you may want to rethink your idea of pleasurable company.”

Connor looked out to the dunes.

”Where are you even heading, may I ask. I only see homesteads and the canyons this way.”

[member="Lilla Syrin"]

 

[Lilla Syrin]

The words were Connor’s but they could, just as easily, have been Lilla’s. “It is a Jedi’s lot,” she began in response, “To find what others avoid. Maybe we do go looking for it – in as much as we put our head in the rancor’s mouth, or the wasp’s nest. Not to seek adventure, admittedly, but to ensure nobody else gets bitten or stung.”

“Being alone has its merits – but not as a permanent state of affairs in my opinion. Yes, it would be wonderful to spend a lot of time meditating, but the counter is losing touch with the here and now, and that cannot be a good thing, can it?” It was half a question, half a statement – based by her tone of voice.

“And as for my destination? There is an old homestead near here I used when I ran away as a slave the second time – and there is another story for another day. There are many around here and I found one that I could call ‘home.’ So, that’s where I’m headed right now. It’s not much, and there’s no welcome mat, but I’d be delighted if you’d join me.”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

For one who had few friends – if any right now – Connor was grateful to be welcomed by the Jedi…Lilla! That was it. A wave of relief washed over him; nothing more awkward than being welcomed by someone who appreciated you but didn’t remember their name.

”Thank you, Lilla. I would like that."

The two walked in unison.

”Sounds like you have a lot of stories. We will have to trade one day. Tell me, how are you faring with the Republic, if they are still fighting the good fight? It’s been a while since I’ve had my fingers in the goings on of the galaxy."

Looking forward, Connor could see a homestead. There was something so charming, so cosy and so quaint about the Tatooine homesteads.

[member="Lilla Syrin"]

 

[Lilla Syrin]

Lilla was entirely comfortable in her own company — but by the same token, would walk and talk with anyone. Which might sound like a back-handed compliment to Connor — but the truth was that Lilla was extremely polite with just about everyone, but if she had to choose someone to spend time with, her present companion would definitely be near the top of the list. Their past experiences were positive and she was sure something of his past would resonate with the debate that was ongoing in her mind.

LIlla paused when the direct question was asked. She’d been posed the question before and would be no doubt asked it again. She was never going to say anything negative about the Remnant, but that didn’t mean she was going to lie either.

“I have moved on,” she answered honestly. “No falling out, just a parting of the ways. They were heading back into the Core Worlds the last I heard and I’m sure they are doing very well. Instead, I have been somewhat nomadic, helping out here and there — as and when required, as the Force dictates.”

“What about you? Been busy?”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

For one who had few friends – if any right now – Connor was grateful to be welcomed by the Jedi…Lilla! That was it. A wave of relief washed over him; nothing more awkward than being welcomed by someone who appreciated you but didn’t remember their name.

”I see. Well, fair enough. You have to follow your own path and can’t be expected to stay in one place forever."

The dunes started to decrease and the terrain flattened a little as they walked into the more stable stretch of land around the homestead and the Wastes. The ground became a little harder under their feet.

”I’ve not really been doing much, to be honest. Sort of like you in respect of the nomadic ways. Been here and there, tried to help a few people, explore…but I do hate that word at present because what am I exploring? New worlds I’ve never walked on before, but for what? I don’t take anything with me when I leave. Sometimes I feel it’s just an excuse to run away from things when you want to “explore”. Hence why I’m back here, on familiar ground. Looking to just…be, really. Help the balance maintain itself. Find my place. That old chestnut."

[member="Lilla Syrin"]

 

[Lilla Syrin]

Lilla smiled. From what she remembered, if anyone followed their own path – it was the man standing in front of her. His reputation preceded him within the ranks of the Silvers and his story had more twists and turns than a mountain pass on Makeb.

But she would not choose to press the point, and instead listened and resolved to learn from the undoubted life experiences and wisdom of her current companion.

She could not, however, restrain herself as he downplayed his life to date. “Not much?” She smiled broadly now. “Not much? Really? How many Factions have you been part of – both sides of the divide. How many wars have you fought in? How many causes have you risked your life for? Tell me.” She stopped walking and faced him. “Tell me, you’ve been clearly looking for your place for many years now,” she was going to say decades but pulled up short. “What is different now?”

Her tone was soft, non-threatening. Her voice was not even slightly reproachful, or demanding, just honest and insightful. “It’s a definition of madness to do the same thing and expect a different result. I suspect wandering – or exploring – won’t fill in any blanks. Talking will. Maybe meditation? But talking for sure. Being honest – not with me, but yourself.”

She cocked her head slightly to the side. “Am I making sense?”

[member="Connor Harrison"]

 

[Connor Harrison]

Someone he knew very little of had nearly summed up most of his time serving the Force in the space of few seconds. That must count for something, and the non-judging tone from Lilla was welcome. If anything, there was some level of mild respect. When she faced him, he didn’t look away or wither into a defensive posture, he just took what was said at face value.

”You make sense, yes, and obviously retain lots of knowledge and detail about the worlds and people around you. I’m rather honoured you at least know some of my footprints, it’s just a shame none of them are lasting."

She acted like a barrier between the past and present where he stood now.

”If you’re offering to listen, then I can talk. I don’t know if it will be totally engaging or make much sense. And the difference between then and now, is that when you stare death in the face and barley make it through, you ask yourself some real serious questions about who you were, what you want to be, and where you need to go."

Connor held himself a little higher.

”Maybe the Force brought me here to find those answers. Trust the Force, so they say, right?"

[member="Lilla Syrin"]