Private Beneath the sun and the clouds

[Zevran]

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Beneath the sun and the clouds

Tython. The fresh air and the warm sun. Every time I step outside, I seem to discover something new. This place feels so different from Coruscant. From what I know, I should find a master in the coming weeks — or months, perhaps. I think about it every day. This might be my chance — my opportunity to see as much of the galaxy as possible. But for now, I must remain on Tython, unless I receive an assignment. Today, there's none. So, I try to follow a kind of personal ritual. I walk out, spend a few minutes watching the sky, enjoying the view, and thinking a bit. It's a strange feeling — this calm. I'm still not really used to the stillness of Tython. Sometimes, I imagine hearing a hundred ships, just like back on Coruscant. But not here. Here, it's calm, peace… and opportunity.

It still amazes me. While I try to feel the Force, there's nothing choking me. I can simply be — and listen. As I close my eyes and place my hand on the dirt, it feels like I'm touching the world itself. I can't make sense of it yet, but the feeling alone is something I've come to like. From what I've heard, I don't have much planned for today. So maybe I'll take a walk — somewhere, just to listen. There are places on this planet I feel drawn to… and I don't really know why.

This morning, I woke up, prepared myself, and put on my robes. As I walk beneath the sun, I see the weather. A wide, blue sky with barely any clouds. The sunlight warms my skin with every step. A faint smile lingers on my face as I walk away from the Temple. Later, I might go back inside — not that I really want to train in much today. But when I practice with a lightsaber, I find myself thinking more clearly. It helps to calm my thoughts.

As I wander, my mind drifts. Thoughts about the future and a master fade, and doubts begin to creep in. All those years on Coruscant… I struggled to understand what I was truly capable of. I struggled with the Force and with the philosophy of the Jedi Order. I know my training is far from complete, but... What if it just means I'm not meant to be a Jedi? I've thought about it many times. Every time I doubt. Every time I hesitate. Would that mean going back to the lower levels? Would that mean I've lost my chance to see the stars? Or maybe that I'd just remain here — training again and again, until somehow I succeed?

Lost in my thoughts, my steps take me through the Temple's corridors and quiet gardens. Sometimes I barely avoid people walking ahead of me, not seeing them until the last moment. I let out a few quiet words :

"Sorry. I didn't see you."

And then it's back to the thinking. I try to avoid dwelling on failure. After all, since I arrived on Tython, I've come to understand a few things — like how Coruscant really was a place where I struggled to apply Jedi teachings. Now I wonder — is Tython just a temporary reprieve? Or is there truly something deeper to learn about my connection to the Force? I think I need clarity. Maybe meditation could help. Probably not. And I wonder — am I the only one who feels this way? Could Coruscant really take up so much space in my mind that I can't focus? Does it happen because I was born so far beneath the surface? Because I grew up there? Or am I just holding on too tightly to past failures?

These are questions I feel I need to answer. Yet at the same time, I want to avoid them — perhaps just let them go and focus on today, and tomorrow… instead of yesterday. But... Wouldn't it means that i do not learn from the past and only seeks to move on without understanding ? I do not know.


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[Reina Daival]

Location: Tython
Tags: Zevran
Lightsaber - Pequod


Stupid Jungle. Stupid Fauna. It was all too frustrating for Reina. Tython was still a place Reina couldn't get used to. Sure, there were plenty of Jedi who could get used to this place. The animal lovers, the treehuggers, the peaceful. It was all nonsense to Reina however. The Jedi should have a presence out in the Galaxy where they were needed. Why were they needed here? To protect some old Temple? Because it was important to the past of the Jedi? Why did the past matter? Reina didn't know anything about her own. It was better to set your eyes on the future than to handicap yourself to looking at the past. It wasn't like Reina had much of a choice on where to be anywhere. Sure, she could go and visit Lothal for a little bit but at the end of the day, she always had to return here.

At the very least, she was able to practice her drills in relative peace. Just find one of the many training rooms in the Temple and get to work. Lightsaber drills. Sword drills. There was always the possibility at the back of her mind of trying to put them both to work. Dual wielding a sword alongside her lightsaber but she wasn't proficient enough in either in her eyes to resort to that. She had to master using them individually before she could even think about wielding them together. It was something she was going to have to work towards however. It was a single thing on a long list of agendas she had. Another was getting a better prosthesis for her leg as she tapped the blade of her sword against the prosthesis for a moment, listening to the sound of metal against metal. Well. Seemed like it wasn't playing up to her. With that, she sheathed her blade back away before stretching her arms out preparing to walk off.

That was when she saw them. Some new Padawan stumbling their way through the Temple, lost in their own world whilst nearly stumbling into others. Reina couldn't help but smirk. It was always fun watching new people stumble around like a fish out of water. Maybe it was a bit rude of Reina to think that way but it wasn't like she'd bother that much. She just shook her head to herself, turning her attention back towards to the stranger.

"You know...if you're going to be walking around like a headless Wampa, you should probably find a room to meditate in or something. Don't need to risk bumping into anyone."
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[Zevran]

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Beneath the sun and the clouds​

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My mind is somewhere else. I don't even really try to recognize the people around me. Most of the time, I fail at it anyway. But right here, right now, I'm not even trying. There's nothing I'm looking for — no one I'm seeking at the moment. I'm lost in thought. I don't really want answers to the questions racing through my mind. I'm just thinking about them. I think about consequences, mostly. What not being a Jedi would mean. What not succeeding would mean. Mostly things I fear. Mostly things I despise, even. Going back to live on Coruscant is probably the thing I fear the most — especially now that I've opened myself, now that I hear what the world says. Just spending a few moments there would be challenging — that I know. But living back there? Going back to the lower levels?

I shake my head, trying to chase those thoughts away. I remember when I tried — back on Coruscant. When sleeping, when meditating, when walking. It always ended the same way: Voices, smells, thoughts, emotions — all of it coming in too strong. I felt like I was drowning. I felt out of control, and closing the door I had opened was hard — every single time. Trying to focus in that chaos seemed impossible. It was like trying to hear music, except every sound on the planet had been turned to full volume. Like everything was trying to talk to me at once, each thing using a different word, ending in a cacophony I couldn't understand. Words didn't help me understand back then, and I'm not sure they'd help now either. But here, on Tython… I still hold onto the hope that I'll find a way. A way to make sense of every word, every whisper, every smell.

Just now, I barely avoided someone. I snapped out of it just before we collided. Or maybe that person saw me coming and moved? I don't know. I lifted my hands in apology and kept walking. In that moment, it felt like I had been walking for an eternity. But no — a few minutes, ten at most. When you're trapped in your thoughts, time seems to distort beyond normal. A faint smile at the thought… then I stopped. I heard a voice nearby, and I'm pretty sure it was meant for me. Not only was it in my direction, but the words were clearly addressed to me. So I turned around and faced the Jedi who spoke. A human — a bit older than me, I think. Then again, judging by my height, everyone seems older. Even she is taller than me. For a moment I'm confused. She gave me a short piece of advice — to go meditate somewhere instead of walking around barely avoiding bumping into people.

"I... Yeah, I guess I could. I was going to head outside — you know, just to… enjoy a bit of Tython and the calm. I kinda got lost in both thought and direction, I suppose."

I scratch the back of my head a little. I'm still a bit confused — thinking takes time to leave my system.

"Sorry… do we know each other?"

Just a friendly comment, I suppose. Not that I'm good at remembering people I've met before,
but I don't think I've met her. I gather some composure and speak again, giving myself a few seconds to try to remember her — without success.

"I'm Zevran. Just in case."

I'm Zevran — a short Zabrak Padawan. One who struggled a lot back on Coruscant and is doing slightly better here on Tython. Well, of course, I didn't give her my entire backstory at that moment… But in the end, I think it's pretty easy to give a quick rundown of who I am.

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