Beneath the Stains of Time ( Ashin )

[Ben Watts]

Coruscant
Two Months Ago

Breaking and entering was not something he was quite used to, especially on his homeworld, oh how the times were 'a changin. He once walked the streets of Coruscant openly, smile on his face, meeting with anyone and everyone who would stop and hear him out. Now he found himself skulking around, avoiding people like the plague, and only traveling at night. Of course his being on Coruscant would be headline news. He could read the article in his head already, exiled former Jedi Grandmaster caught breaking into an apartment. He smirked at the thought of his worn out face being on the cover of all the social media. They would have a field day with that.

Now, though, he sat in the darkness of the house that had once belonged to his mother and father before he had been born. He looked around the room and he envisioned himself as a child running around, his mother in the kitchen, his father in the living room. These were things he was never allowed to experience, gifts that had never been given to him, taken for granted by most children. He had always wondered what it would have been like had his mother lived through the childbirth. Would he have still been a Jedi or would he have been with her? Maybe he wouldn't have worried about everything he was forced to worry about now, he would be ignorant, and ignorance was bliss.

For the first time in a very long time, tears streamed down his face, splashing against the pendant he now held in his hand. It was his fathers, the only relic of the man who gave birth to him, he had nothing of his mother. Not even a picture, for that matter, he did not even know what she looked like. He fought the urge to sling the thing against the wall, but years of practice made it very easy for him to calm his emotions, not matter how angry he got it never last for more than a second.

None the less, the pain was real, he was alone and he had no one to go to. No one to talk to about his problems, he was sure there were people who would listen, but who could understand his burden? He had tried, before, but even some of the more experienced minds could not grasp the inner turmoils he struggled with. His failings had been catching up to him, it was the only thing that ever crossed his mind, where normal stress did not bother him.... failing the only thing he held dear was beginning to catch up. Holding onto the image he had harbored for so long was no longer an easy affair, no, it was the hardest thing he could do.

He was done with this Galaxy, he was ready to master death, he wanted to become one with the force. Holding onto the pendant deeply he pushed open the window and he stepped onto the ledge, overlooking the city, he stared down below into the darkness of the streets. It was so peaceful, and for a moment, his mind was clear and he knew what he had to do.

"What are you doing up there?"

*********

Spires of Hell
Present Day

The ease at which he slipped passed the guards was almost laughable. He was getting too good at sneaking around, breaching others minds, and making it seem as if he was nothing more than a shadow in the corner of their eye. Even if they did get a good look at him, he distorted his face with the force, making him seem familiar in a way that they just could not quite put their finger on it. He was like a word that was just right on the tip of the tongue, so close, but just unable to remember what it is. A thought that just shimmers away into the vastness of the mind. The last person who had seen his face was Kiskla Grayson, and that had been months ago, so far there was no word that he was alive so she must have kept his presence a secret.

He had always heard of this place, the Spires of Hell, an imposing name that made sense for such an imposing woman. He had met Ashin on one occasion so far, she was very sick, and she had told him that she was a sleeper agent for the Jedi. The shock he felt that day was comical now. He wondered if she would be shocked when her eyes found him, many thought him to be dead, others thought that he was some hermit who would never be seen again. Both were pretty much the same to him.

Something had not been sitting well with him, how did she do it, how did she venture into the depths of the enemy and become their leader all while in the name of the Jedi. Well, not really the name, but she was a member of the Jedi Order in secret. He had never considered the prospect and he had thought it reckless at one point in his life, why the Jedi would ever send one of their own to the enemy seemed foolish to him but it was beginning to make sense. It was for the greater good, such a broad term, but he understood it now.

Sneaking throughout the halls, he snaked his way towards her presence, avoiding anyone who came into his path. It was somewhat of a game to him, see someone, hide. Someone was guarding an entrance? They need a memory cleansing. He was using the powers he had learned over the years rather liberally now, something he would have never done when he was in the spotlight, but now he needed to use them. He had to speak with her without his presence being found out. This was the only way to move on, the only way to save the Jedi.

Light footsteps approached the woman, Ashin, a sight to see in its own right. She was much less sickly this time, much more imposing, and he felt naked without the overflowing light of the force pouring off of him. That was how he imposed, how people recognized him, but that was not something he had done for many months now.

"So is your security terrible," He pulled his hood back, revealing his face, and leaning forward against the railing she stood in front of. He acted as if this was something they did daily, a trait he had learned from his father, never show fear to anyone. Fear was all in the mind and he did not fear anyone. He feared for nothing but the Jedi, but not in the same sense that most felt fear, it had a much deeper meaning to it. "Or were you expecting me?"

"I have a few questions I want to ask you, if you'll allow me?"

@[member="Ashin Varanin"]

 

[Ashin Varanin]

@[member="Ben Watts"]

"I'm not much for intuition. And anything that gets past my people deserves a shot at me."

She turned away from the infinite fall, nonchalant as if she didn't stand at the very edge and the very minimal railing. "Ben Watts. Now there's a face I've not seen since Tython. Freedom must be treating you well. After Grandmaster, I hear anything is an improvement."

A silence hung between them for a heartbeat or two. "You didn't come all this way just to congratulate me on making my way back to the Light. And even the Jedi Order's most radicalized fools turned around and left O'reen when I showed my true colors, so you're not here to kill me. Bring me to justice, maybe -- Force knows it's overdue -- but I doubt it. So all I can guess is that you're calling in a very old marker. This time, you need my help."

 

[Ben Watts]

"Freedom is a funny word."

Like a child, he leaned over the railing, standing on his tip toes and feeling the gravity seemingly pull him down. He stared down into the void, holding onto the railing loosely, before he pulled himself back to the standing position and turned to face Ashin. He supposed everyone knew how informal he was, a habit he never picked up, he just let his body move all loosey goosey like. Maybe he really was just a Jedi hippie.

"Ah, so you are back, excellent news!" His general excitement would let her know that he truly did not even know she was back to the Jedi. The only information he received on the Jedi was when he was actively looking for it, and lately, he had not been keeping his ear to the ground. "No, you are right, I am here for your help. Most of all, I am here to know more about your sleeper status. I keep myself up at night sometimes wondering how you did it, how you kept yourself around the Sith for so long, most of all I wonder what the end game was. Strategically moving the Sith around? Nah, that can't be it, I figure it has to be deeper than that."

"Tell me about Lumiya's teachings."

@[member="Ashin Varanin"]

 

[Ashin Varanin]

@[member="Ben Watts"]

"I wouldn't say I'm back, Ben. Back to the Light, back to being a Jedi -- but the Order will never accept that my first loyalty is to the worlds I swore to protect - did you say Lumiya?"

Energy danced in her eyes but a shadow crossed her face.

"Lumiya and Calypho and Ulic Qel-Droma kept me sane, that's how. But as for the end game, yes, it was deeper than that. I think I owe you a story or two...but first, why do you want to know about Lumiya? What have you heard?"

 

[Aldo Zarkot]

"Rumors, heresy, the same things most Jedi hear about what they teach. I know it's a rather.... Radical viewpoint but in this day and age radical may be the only option left."

@[member="Ashin Varanin"]

( phone post, sorry dude )

 

[Ashin Varanin]

@[member="Ben Watts"]

Ashin nodded slowly. “Lumiya, then, and the plan. They’re somewhat intertwined.

“I’m a Lightsider, Ben. I’m a Jedi. Those are things that stuck with me, influenced me, while I was undercover in the Empire. From one point of view, I conquered ten thousand worlds and drove the Empire on a collision course with the Republic. From another point of view, I minimized atrocities, imposed the rule of law, connected a serious percentage of the galaxy to itself and pulled it out of the Dark Age’s isolation. I protected those who couldn’t defend themselves, like the Mandalorians, while aiming the Empire for those who would be able to resist them: The Republic and the Jedi. When I founded the Fringe, I stole the Empire’s best people to weaken them, and began doing the same thing -- redirecting and civilizing the worst of the worst, keeping them away from vulnerable targets as best I could, working against powers that could resist them. The cognitive dissonance, of course, came about when I realized I cared deeply for my people, and couldn’t let them be destroyed either.

“When Apparine and Halcyon and Moridena and the rest of the extremists destroyed the Empire, they were following the course I’d spent all that effort laying out for them. You think I couldn’t have dropped a starfleet and a dozen Masters on Ossus, Korriban, Dac, Dromund Kaas? I stayed out and let the Empire fall. And that was my plan, that was all my plan, from day one. I knew the Republic would rage for a new enemy, and I chose my time to show my true colors and break the Republic’s will. Except for the extremists, who’ll now have to choose extreme action or leave.

“That’s what happens when you have a galaxy run by amateurs.

“Now let me tell you about Lumiya. Even now, as a Lightsider, I respect her philosophy greatly. I’ve lost track of it lately, but as a Sith I always kept it as my guiding star. Lumiya believed that the only way to know for sure whether your motives were pure, the only way to be truly selfless in saving the galaxy, was to be despised. To be hated, even. How many Jedi do what they do for adulation, to be special, to feel the warm glow of sincere gratitude? Lumiya believed that the true way was one of sacrifice. To become despicable, to sacrifice the opinion of those who trust and even love you, for the greater good. She believed that the sacrifice had to be innately personal, giving up what you loved most.

“There was a girl, once, an Empress, not me -- a student of mine in the Unknown Regions. I loved her like a sister. But she was my sacrifice. I didn’t kill her, but I tried to, and I might as well have succeeded -- I stripped the Force from her, left her and her people to despise me. It was necessary, at the time.

“Lumiya wasn’t my only Sith inspiration. Ulic Qel-Droma, for obvious reasons -- and Vectivus and Calypho. Vectivus understood that a true Sith is defined by only one thing: Your willingness to overcome everything and anything, internal or external, in order to achieve whatever your ultimate goal might be. He committed no atrocities, claimed no legions of followers, dominated no territory. He died unknown, happy, surrounded by loving family, and very, very successful at what he chose to pursue.

“Calypho was an aescetic, an even more minor name. He believed that clarity, insight, and strength came from self-discipline and self-denial.

“Amazing how much truth can be found in the philosophies of the Sith, isn’t it.”

 

[Ben Watts]

Ben listened intently as her words flowed, and even though he had once thought of her as an enemy, her words now made sense. As time had gone on he had thought that leaving the Jedi was what was best, but why, why was it the best decision? What had he done since he had vanished into exile, nothing. He could have been doing something, anything, but instead he sat back and watched as they shrunk away from what he had once loved and turned into war chasing heretics. Yes, they had conquered the Sith, but what did it mean? Were the Sith really gone, or was this like every other time the Jedi had "won"? The attack on Coruscant had opened his eyes, they were not gone, they were just building power and they would come back with a vengeance and destroy the comfortable Jedi.

"Philosophies of the Sith are bi-products of Jedi philosophies in the first place." It all started with the Jedi many, many years ago, they were all connected at one point. Ben no longer believed there was a lightside and a darkside, only the force, and there were good people who used it and bad people who used it how they saw fit. "The Sith are still out there and the fractures within the Republic are starting to show more every day. Now I hear they are bickering over the next Grandmaster? Why did the Sith seemingly give up? It seems obvious to me, but not the Republic, they wanted to lose. With no Jedi constantly watching their every move they now have a chance to build power without the eye of the Republic and the Jedi watching over them."

He paused and he thought about his words for a few moments before he continued on, leaning over the railing again and staring down at the very long drop. "The Jedi need an enemy, someone who will bring them together, an immediate threat. At the rate they are going now they will be ravaged by the growing underground Sith movement, that is of course, if I am correct in assuming they are there. So Lumiya believed that you had to give up everything to prove your worth? Do you think me capable of something like that?" His last question was hard to get out, he did not like thinking that he might one day turn on the Jedi he had worked so hard to build, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

@[member="Ashin Varanin"]

 

[Ashin Varanin]

@[member="Ben Watts"]

She found she didn't know what to say. Or at least, she didn't know the best thing to say. All he could have was her reaction.

"Ben, that's quite a sacrifice. It'll change you, whatever you think, no matter what your motives are. Even if you somehow..." She grimaced. "I know one of my grandfather's special arts - the ability to make a false Dark Side signature. Even if you stay with the Light and use that power, and I can teach it to you, it changes you to be hated, despised. It makes you resentful, and resentment...well, you of all people know what you're getting into.

"But if you're asking me whether I think it'll work...Ben, the third great schism happened. You can't know what it would take for the Silent Conclave, Feena Mason, and the Jedi Order to work together again, and personally I doubt it ever could happen again. I don't know whether your plan would work, and that means your sacrifice might be for nothing.

"Tell me your plan in greater detail, and relax."

She stretched out to touch his mind, and began sending in the knowledge of how to falsify a Dark Side signature.

 

[Ben Watts]

The words she spoke rang nothing but truths in his ears, and make no mistake, it was exactly what he had been thinking all along. He was not doing this on a whim, this was no gimmick, there was no returning from this once he stepped foot on the path. The dangers, the changes, the hatred, he was well aware of all of it but it did not frighten him. Years of training his emotions to reveal nothing but a straight face completely erased fear, and even now, he felt none for what he was about to do.

"Wouldn't be much of a sacrifice if there wasn't a chance of failure," He said with a casual shrug, the way he took on such life changing decision seemed so uninteresting, even to himself sometimes. "I have been hated, for no other reason than being a Jedi, for my entire life. The only difference now will be that the Jedi hate me as well. How people feel, how they look at my legacy and sing my praises, it means nothing now that the Order is fractured. I won't change, I understand the force better than even you might believe. I can go to the other side, I can live in that world, and I know it won't change me because I don't make excuses for myself or anyone else. My dream is to see the Jedi return to the protectors that this galaxy deserves, to be respected and not made a mockery of, I want them to understand that they cannot continue this charade of power they have pulled over their eyes. The Sith, they are growing, but the Jedi lay dormant in their ways. When the Sith come back, and I know they will, they will lay waste to the Order if they are not forced to change themselves."

He paused and gripped the railing tightly, the influx of knowledge into his brain was discomforting to say the least, but he could handle it. "The plan is simple, the Jedi, the Conclave, Feena, all of them need something that will unite them. Before now, the Jedi have taken the brunt force of what the Empire, or any other faction, has brought on. I will bring a heat to all of them, I will use the knowledge for war and negotiation to put all of them on high alert, and if all goes well they will be forced to work together. Separate, they will break like twigs, but together they will be strong. It's not about having the biggest army, the most ships, the most bodies, it is about who is willing to go the furthest to win." He paused and adjusted to the knowledge that had flooded his mind, wrapping his mind around it, trying to understand what it was all about.

"They will not believe, at first, how far I am willing to go." He turned to face Ashin, his face serious, his body ready to do things he never thought himself capable of. The greater good, a phrase that sickened him once, would be the slogan he would live by to preserve the livelihood of the Order he cherished so much. "No matter what, this secret stays between me and you, no one can ever know of my other intentions. Even if I die, if word gets out for why I was doing it, it might corrupt the entire point. I'll die a villain, and I can accept that, but you must promise me it will never get out... this meeting."

Returning the favor, he used the force to latch onto her mind, and he gently let in his knowledge of the technique force light. A powerful technique that he intended for her to use on one person and one person only, himself. "Consider this my emergency shut off button. If for some reason I cannot handle what I am doing and I get out of control, the darkside overwhelms me, you do whatever it takes to stop me. If my plan faulters and I become someone that I am not, stop at nothing to use it on me."

@[member="Ashin Varanin"]

 

[Ashin Varanin]

@[member="Ben Watts"]

Bestowing knowledge was what she did; receiving it, assimilating it, humbling herself to learn it, submitting herself to its giving -- she hadn't done that in some time, for the most part. She blinked as knowledge flooded her mind in turn. She had given him the ability to pretend to be Dark; he had given her the ability to ensure that he could come back if the mask worked too well.

"If nobody's to know, I may have to act against you at some point. My people, too. Not many of them are a match for you, Ben, but they're not your target audience. If you could...stay away from Fringe space, unless it starts looking like you avoid us because you might be one of us..." She shrugged. "But who can say what the Republic will take as casus belli these days? Their last bit of nuanced foreign policy involved attacking someone who had just assimilated territory they'd called 'dibs' on. So do what you have to do.

"I hope you understand I can't give you assets that could be traced back to Fringe. What I can give you is this. There's a ship called the Coldharbor, a wandering bazaar of the Dark Side, a neutral meeting place for Sith associations, a market and training ground. Fringe supports and monitors it, but nobody knows that. It's not associated with us.

"You'll need followers. I'm certain you haven't thought that far ahead, because, hubris aside, you make a terrible egomaniac. The Coldharbor may be the place to find them. If you ever need to get a message to me quietly, the alchemist Rave Merrill -- one of Fringe's rulers -- sometimes works one of the alchemy forges there."

 

[Ben Watts]

He smirked at her when she mentioned that he was a terrible egomaniac. He did not think he would ever find himself in a situation where someone would have to use those terms, and on some level, he might even be insulted by the term. She was right, though, he was going to have to change a lot about himself if this plan was to pay off one day.

"Territory grabbing is not my main goal. I need people, yes, but not many. I am impossible to track, most think me to be dead, so working quietly will not be much of a hard thing. Plus, I got a few tricks up my sleeve to keep myself off the radar." He pulled his hood up and returned the force illusion that would make it nigh impossible for her to see that he was indeed Ben Watts, even though she had just seen his face, it would now be nothing more than a metaphorical blur. She could possibly see him, but, her mind would be convinced she had no idea who he was.

"Never bothered the Fringe before my predecessors, why start now? You've been a big help, and no offense to you, but I hope we don't meet again. Thanks for the info." And just as mysteriously as he appeared, he was gone.

@[member="Ashin Varanin"]