Private Below the Clavicle

[Ishida Ashina]

Things being steady, in a healer's line of work was a somewhat sombre thing to celebrate.

"I was being polite." Ishida admitted flatly and smoothed down the sides of her shirt.

"And, you seem good at it. It would be a shame for you not to keep at it, especially since others are equally good at getting themselves into situations where they need to come to see you." Her smile was crooked, awkwardly trying to mirror the warmth Amani Serys exuberated. It didn't suit her, and that was painfully obvious, but it was worth a shot.

"I can't imagine how hard it must be to see people at their worst all the time."

 

[Amani Serys]

"Ah." Amani shrugged. There was something respectable about the woman's bluntness, at least. The continuation of which made her laugh, "Yeah. I'm getting that sense. Correct me if I'm wrong, but- the NJO feels somewhat lacking in dedicated healers. Relative to the ratio of more accident-prone Jedi, anyway." She composed herself a little more properly, even giving a slight bow, "Thank you, though. Just glad I could help." Clearly Ishida didn't make these kinds of expressions often, but her effort was appreciated in full.

The conversation then shifted, and the tone with it. Amani nodded, and seemed to turn more solemn and introspective, "...It can be. Yeah."

"My job is inherently linked to pain, suffering… death, sometimes. I don't have to explain to you why that can be especially rough for a Jedi." The early years beat her down. Working with the sick and injured had been a revelation into the harshness of reality long before any war zone frontlines, "Those experiences, those emotions… have a darkness to them. But part of this job is learning to just bask in the light that cast those shadows."

Amani scoffed a bit, "Not to get too philosophical about it. But that's more or less what my own mentors had imparted on me." She gave a strained smile, though her eyes were what betrayed the truth: It wasn't numbness or callousness, merely acceptance. There would always be hurt, and not everything would go right every time. "You fight for the times that you can make a difference, help someone… and makes it all a little more worthwhile."

Ishida Ashina​

 

[Ishida Ashina]

Accident-prone Jedi.

Belatedly, Ishida glanced down at herself. How many a scar was hiding beneath her tunic and pants? How many marks of failure did she have to conceal because she was accident-prone? She felt her blood warm but could not trace the source of the emotion to either anger or embarrassment. Whatever it was simmered just below the surface, ready to take offence.

Was she proving Amani's point then and there? How shameful weakness was, and with hurt often came the desire for retribution? Or...worse. Eternal fear?

Ishida frowned at the strangely perceptive comment from the healer. She hadn't anticipated the philosophy, but it was certainly something to think about on her own time. To be aware of.

How pitiful it would be for her to find herself in a situation of weakness where she fell to the darkside because she was accident-prone.

"That's very wise." Was all she said.

"Thank you for helping me. I should go, though.

I hope to see you again."

She gestured to the room and made a small face that looked awkwardly to Amani Serys , as if she realized what she was saying.

"But not under these circumstances, of course."