Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

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Approved Tech Battle-Class Droid Mark 1

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http://www.polyvore....=l&tid=15904483
Intent: To bolster the Fringe's Army with a innovative droid army.
Development Thread: N/A
Manufacturer: Nova Corp.
Model: Battle
Affiliation: Nova Corp/Fringe
Modularity: Fully Customizable : The Droid itself can be upgraded to fill different roles whether as a trooper or bomber class droid.
Production: Mass
Material:
Dura-Steel
Vibroblade tech for the wrist gauntlets
Hydro-glycolic Cells
Flexi-glass
Description:
These droids were built to be the bulk of the droid army and as such they come preloaded with tactics training as well as the more active training in forms of shooting accuracy and reaction processors. However, unlike previous attempts which turned out to be complete and total duds; Kiyala had finally understood what she was doing wrong. She wanted a main stream droid that also just for the sake of looks were cosmetically cool as well. She used durasteel for the purpose of the droids generic make up and for the chassis while uploading the droid with a bio scanner, weapons scanner that also served within it's HUD display. Twin sonic pistols were standard for these droids as while as a light repeating rifle for latent fire power. Adding a pair of wrist gathulets that utilize vibroblade tech for the durasteel blades that could be used for close combat whenever their twin vibroblades could not be quickly reached. The flexi-glass was used for purely cosmetic reasons of making the droid look sleek and rather cool looking in Kiyala's opinion.

Classification: (First Degree, Second Degree, Third Degree, Fourth Degree, or Fifth Degree) Fourth


Weight: (Via Metric System) 140 kg
Height: (Via Metric System) 1.6 meters
Movement: (Repulsorlift, Wheels, Tracks, Bipedal, Quadrupedal) Bipedal
Armaments: (what weapons and defenses does The droid possess, if applicable) Twin Sonic Pistols, light repeating rifle, Twin Vibroblades, twin vibro wrist gauntlets.
Misc. Equipment: Bio-Scanners, Weapon Scanners, HUD Display through 'eyes', friendlies and hostiles designation protocols.
 

Popo

I'm Sexy and I Know It
@[member="Kiyala Demont"]
Alright. Here's the deal. This SHOULD be second chanced as its literally this:

http://starwarsrp.net/topic/20143-slayer-class-droid-mark-1/#entry250741

Just with some changed wording. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt and I'll judge it, but future incidents like this will be denied and you'll be referred to the second chance section.

First big issue: phrik. Its a restricted item and needs a mining thread. You got it somewhere? Cool. RP it out. I -cannot- approve it without it.

Second thing. Mass production is not possible with restricted metals like this. A phrik pocket knife or a series of beskar cutlery, MAYBE. Protective underlays on a battle droid, no. I can do limited production. MAYBE minor depending on the quality and the length of the mining/acquisition thread and a hefty expansion on the description.

The whole sub needs to be cleaned up and edited. You have references to the grenade launcher that was on the denied submission that are no longer present and some of your information is contradictory.

The toxins you list need to go. I gave you an opportunity to Dev thread a liquid form or chemically altered varient of the cryseefa gas. You didn't take that opportunity and instead tried to use two toxins that not only insta-kill but are rare and/or OPed. Remove them. You can keep the needle gun but I want effective ranges listed and capabilities against armor listed.

Finally, what customization is available? Elaborate on exactly what can and can't be added or changed on the machine.

Edit those, do the Dev threads, and clean up the sub. Once done, @ me and we'll go from there.
 
@[member="Popo"] so to be clear if I just have phrik blades if I removed it from the under lay and if it's just on the blades does that part still require a dev thread since my world has been noted to have a resovoir of that metal and the character making it is the queen?
 

Popo

I'm Sexy and I Know It
@[member="Kiyala Demont"]
It states that when the blades are "housed" that they act as underlay. Either way, yes you will need to do a Dev thread for the metal.
 

Popo

I'm Sexy and I Know It
@[member="Kiyala Demont"]
Alright, still got a couple of issues, but we're seeing progress.

You dropped the phrik which prevents you from doing a mining thread so there's no need for the thread now. The blades are fine, though keep in mind that they're durasteel and therefore unable to block lightsabers.

Second, as complex as this droid still is, I can't see it being mass produced. The needle rifles on each arm, the repulsor capabilities, and the other items going into the design would make this droid hard to produce without some serious factory floor alterations. Drop it to minor production, please. Even Super Battle Droids, while common, weren't mass produced on the same scale as the B-1 Battle Droid.

Also, in our Skype discussion, you stated that you desired this droid to be a main line, front rank battle droid. I'm still getting the assassin droid feeling from this sub. I think it's partially from the wording in the description and the armament you've included, so I'll go over each separately really quick.

As for the description, go ahead and sit down with the writing and run it through a spell checker to get the kinks worked out. As of now, there are sections where you ripped out lines and didn't blend the remainder together. You also added words or altered sentences without checking for continuity in your description. Please edit that accordingly. If you need help beyond the spell checker, let me know on skype and when I get a chance I can sit down with you. That said, please keep in mind I'm having some highly stressful things going on IRL at the moment so that might be sporadic at times, but I will help you when I can.

As for the armament, a couple of things. First, and this was something I stated in the last time I judged this sub, the twin sonic pistols are no mentioned anywhere in the description. I understand if they're a secondary weapon system, but please mention it. The needle launchers in the arms also have issues. I see they have a 10 meter range and I'm assuming that's the maximum effective range. First off, 10 meters as a max range is terrible for what is considered a main line battle droid as per what we discussed. By the time you reach the effective range of your weapons, despite your repulsor capability, you'll take huge casualties to the point where your numbers or tactics are no longer effective. If you want to keep the weapon system, that's fine, but I'd suggest swapping both systems for a blaster rifle of some sort. It would be cheaper and more effective at longer ranges. If you swap it out, just list it in both the description and the armament list. If you decide not to, please list the armor the needle weapon is effect against using the armor class list on the technology submission template page as well as listing ammunition capacity and how many rounds until you 'reload' or 'reset'.

I've got a couple more issues but we'll focus on these for right now as I'm all out of time IRL to judge further here :p @ me when you're done and we'll go from there.
 
Thank you for taking the time to work through this with me and I did an overhaul to the whole design making it more suitable for a basic combat droid that I was shooting for while conforming to your rules. @[member="Popo"]
 

Popo

I'm Sexy and I Know It
@[member="Kiyala Demont"]
I like what you did. A complete overhaul fixed all those problems and I like what it is now. Just a few things here (I know I know, I always have a few things, but hear me out)

First off, Concussion Rifles are, according to the Wookieepedia page, rather hard to come by. It says 'rare' and 'hard to come by' so I gotta go by it. Swap it for a repeating blaster or a regular, assault type blaster. If you really want the concussion rifle, after this is approved without it, go through and make a concussion rifle using your own design. If that goes through, then go through and make a submission modification for this sub through the appropriate channels. I can't guarantee that it'll fully replace the weapons on this sub, but I don't see any reason why you can't have it be interchangeable, to an extent, with this droid's standard weaponry. For now though, rely on a repeating blaster or a regular blaster.

Second, twin vibroblades in the wrists I have no problem with, it was just the phrik that you were originally using. If you want wrist durasteel blades to be standard, cool. I have no issues with it so long as it's a non-restricted metal. You can add that back in if you want, I don't mind.

Otherwise, looks good. Make those two edits and we'll move on from there, man :)
 
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