Private At The Break of Dawn

[Palm-Imer]

Location: Roon.
Wearing: XxX.
Tagging: Gerwald Lechner

​

The news he had entrusted her with a while ago had been made official. Tonight there was a new Lord Commander of the Knights Obsidian, and she was proud of him.

Palm had not seen Gerwald since the time she visited him on Naboo - at least not in person, for it would seem her thoughts would stray back to the lupine in the moments when they were not occupied by her responsibilities. Those same responsibilities that had made it so easy for her to hide away, for a time. Another conflict had began within her, one that demanded answers that she was not sure she could, or should, seek. A part of her had wanted to turn to denial, to act as though their last encounter had been nothing if not regular, but whatever had stirred within her was beyond denial by now. It was there to stay, and it knew that it would not be pushed aside forever.

For even if she had remained distant for a while, there was no way Palm could bring herself to let tonight go by without her being here.

As the celebration took place, the geminaie kept a low profile. She mingled among those invited, meeting new people or conversing with those she already counted among her acquaintances. From time to time her golden gaze would wander towards tonight's protagonist, and a small, humorous smile would form on her lips as person after person approached him in what seemed to be an endless sea of congratulations, questions and best wishes. Palm would approach him too with a similar but perhaps more deeply felt message - eventually. It was ironic how the very same feeling that had drawn her so close to the lupine now had weakened her resolve and kept her away.

She was riddled with that lumbersome doubt caused by a feeling too raw. Tense, sensitive. It made her feel as though facing him would both solve this inner turmoil and elevate it to its full power at the same time. More than anything, she was uncertain. And uncertainty was terrifying.

So the night moved on, and as it did the festivities began to dwindle ever so slowly. With every passing hour there were less people on the beach, less buzzling in the air. By now, Palm had picked her place next to a lonely bonfire that had been left behind as the masses began to withdraw. Arms crossed, the simple and comfortable grey dress waving lazily around her legs when the wind caught it and her thoughts running wild while she enjoyed the lulling of the rolling waves and gazed upon the vast sea that laid before her. She was only pulled out of this trance when she felt a certain and pull, and when reaching through the Force felt a certain presence begin to move.

She couldn't hold this off any longer.

Gerwald had moved away from the crowds too, most probably seeking respite from it all. Celebrations were happy but often tiring affairs. For a moment, Palm pondered if it would be better to let him be, to come back tomorrow - but before the thought could even finish forming in her mind her feet were already moving, pacing towards him.

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

S O L I T U D E​

WEARING: xxx
TAG: Palm-Imer

The night day, the afternoon had been interesting. Gerwald had spent the time walking around the beach, doing what he could to make himself available to those who were in attendance was his plight for the night. His sister Redd had found him wandering and found him as he aimlessly moved between the bonfires on the beach. Their conversation had been cut short by the Nightmother, Vytal Noctura. She had pledged her help once more in helping the lupine bring Naedira back into the world of the living. It was his personal mission. If there was one promise he would not break, it would be that one.

As the night carried on, Gerwald had feasted on roasted meats, found himself dancing about the fire, and getting lost in the crowds. There had been part of him which had enjoyed the revelry. It reminded him of the fires they would have on Stewjon. The one thing missing was good mead. Gerwald was still frustrated that during his years in the Confederacy no one had been able to craft a good mead the same way those on Stewjon could.

There were many faces which the lupine recognized, others that he did not. Of all the faces that were among those he had seen there was one which kept pulling his attention away from the crowds. He felt her presence long before his eyes found her. There was a closeness, a familiarity he felt, and it scared him. They had only met twice in person, but both meetings had left them connected in a way that Gerwald did not understand. He could not call it a bond in the way he understood them, but the wolf also knew that it was exactly that. What scared him the most was how easy he found himself drawn to her.

Palm-Imer held philosophical beliefs Gerwald did not fully understand, nor did they come natural to who he was. He intentionally challenged them, pushed her past her boundaries. She let him. Knowing that he had permission had almost changed things. It was no longer about pushing her past the boundaries, the obstacles where she was limiting herself. Now, she had invited him into her doubts, into deeper places than what he could find on the surface. His mind could not stop wandering to those thoughts. Every stolen glance came with a measure of fear, the same that haunted him with every new person that pushed past the facade he painted on the surface for others to see. Gerwald feared the intimacy which their relationship seemed to thrust them toward. He wanted to run from the thing that pushed him toward her.

The need to escape eventually won out. A long night of being present for all the congratulations and well wishes had taken its toll on the patience Gerwald had for the spotlight. The lupine had never wanted it. Even on Stewjon he hid from it, content to keep his head down, fight and train other warriors. Gerwald ran from it now. Duty forced him to accept, but it did not force him to like it. As those in attendance finally found themselves distracted in the merry making of the evening, the wolf quietly slipped away.

The beach found itself adjacent to a lush forest, one which called to the beast within the man. He wanted to smell of wood and not the fragrance which the breeze blew from the sea. Gerwald was a creature of the green foliage which littered the woods, a predator meant to rule it, dominate it. Tonight it would be his escape. The lupine wandered deep into growth until the trees were so close together it would be hard to discern him from the large trunks which surrounded him.

He continued until a clearing could be found. The moon had just risen in the sky, clearly visible with just enough light to illuminate the small circlet he had found. Gerwald carried his boots in hand, preferring to feel the soft grass and soil on his bare feet. It was different than the hot sand of the beach. This was cool, gentle, a softer sensation to his flesh which invigorated him. The wolf was nocturnal by nature, and while Gerwald needed to be alone, wanted the solace that came with the sounds of the nature around him, the beast inside craved the hunt.

The beast would not win as Gerwald found his energy spent. Being alone was the one thing he wanted more than anything in that moment.

Why was his mind still so preoccupied then?

That answer soon presented itself as he could hear the rustling of the foliage, leaves and branches moving as her form displaced them. Her scent came to his nose as he lay on the cool grass looking upwards to the full moon in the sky above. Gerwald gave her no words. The wolf did not move. His eyes simply closed as he faced the swell of emotion and uncertainty which her presence stirred with him.

<<”I was wondering when you might find me…>>

And in that one instant, his mind returned to Naboo, to the pool, to the ball she had caught in her hand, and the need to push the boundaries that were ever present between them.
​

 

[Palm-Imer]

Location: Roon.
Wearing: XxX.
Tagging: Gerwald Lechner

​

Every step taken in Gerwald's direction seemed to deepen the turbulent torrent of thoughts that were currently slamming against the walls of her mind. Palm had never been the kind of person that felt lost inside their own head, even in her struggles and doubts there had always been a strange sense of ordered chaos. That went flying out the window since the moment she left Naboo whenever the topic of a certain Lord Commander was brought up. That laid-back confidence that characterized her was not present in her stride, the gears turning could be easily seen reflected through her eyes, an inkling of tension and uncertainty tinged her very presence.

Contrary to what she had expected, that onslaught caused by the unresolved questions that lingered in the air between them came to a sudden halt when the deep voice of the lupine found its way into her thoughts once again. She smiled. Yes, there was something between them that she had wanted to avoid facing, but she had shown caring for Gerwald even before what had happened in the woods of Naboo. Even if what drew them to each other now seemed too uncertain, she could not help but feel content for meeting him again.

They were friends, that much they appeared to have silently agreed on and she was happy to call him that. Then her memories of what transpired in that cave pool flashed through her mind for what might have been the millionth time. That had not felt like simple friendship.

Palm finally crossed the tree line and walked into the clearing. She looked at the sky, dotted with millions of stars, before her gaze fell to meet him. <<"It looked to me like you had your hands full,">> Her voice was soft and clear, carrying a hint of humor as she was sure that tending to the social demands of this celebration mustn't have been his favorite thing. The geminaie's golden eyes remained on him, the playful smile began to fall until it became a fainter, gentler one, and her eyes replaced the shine of amusement with a gleaming clarity filled with honest admiration. She stopped walking just a short distance away from him, although it would feel as though an endless sea was between them when compared to their last meeting.

"Congratulations, Lord Commander." She repeated the words that she was sure he had heard countless times tonight, but hers were voiced as much more than just a needed courtesy. "These are difficult times; and I am glad you will be the one leading us through them, Ger." And where he lead, she would follow. That promise had already been made.

Now, that had been the easy part. Of all the things she felt the need to say, those had been the only ones she was able to put into words she could understand. Here, standing before him again, all that which was unsaid could only be translated into two things. The first one was the realization that she had missed him. The second was a feeling she could only call longing. Longing for answers, for a way to avoid these daunting feelings... for giving in to that pull which had not relented even after their time apart.

"It is good to see you again"

​

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

S O L I T U D E​

WEARING: xxx
TAG: Palm-Imer

The familiar sound of her voice filled his mind as her reply came to his thoughts. The lupine felt his lips curve upward in a wolfish smirk as what had seemed to cause so much tension at their last meeting came natural to her now. Gerwald had pushed his own words into her mind on purpose. Perhaps he had wanted to test how guarded she would be after what took place between them on Naboo. It seemed she was not. They were friends, yes, but there was much more beyond the surface of that word which seemed to apply to them as well. Regardless of whatever ambiguity they allowed, Gerwald was happy she had not retreated into the battlements of her Soller Navah upbringinging. Whatever limits he had pushed her past was where she seemed to remain.

A simple nod was his only answer. His hands had been full. Everyone in attendance had wanted their opportunity to greet the newest Lord Commander. Gerwald had found some took more of him than he wanted to give, and others demanded more patience than most. His new role was one of politics as much as it was leadership. To inspire confidence in those who followed him, he must endear himself to them. It was not a quality Gerwald exhibited often. He was a wild wolf, and this new responsibility threatened to tame him.

His head rolled in the direction of the voice which now spoke to him. He regarded her form, and the simplicity of her attire. A smile crept upon his lips as he admired the fact she had chosen something as lacking in the ornate as the black casual ensemble he wore. The smile soon faded as the one phrase he had heard all night danced upon his ears one more time. While it was not offered with more sincerity than any other had offered during the celebration, the lupine had grown weary of hearing it.

“That is the last time I shall hear the sound of that title pass through your lips whenever we are alone from this moment forward…”

His tone carried with it a sense of gratitude. She knew how he felt about formalities, and she would know he had allowed it this once because she was one of the few voices he had wanted to hear those words from. There was another… and the thought alone was enough to make Gerwald’s stomach tighten.

Why did he feel guilty?

His head rolled back as the sound of Palm’s feet shifting in the grass towards him disturbed the song carried above them by the evening breeze. There was a silence between them after a time, as both minds recalled the memory of their last meeting. Gerwald did not have to invade the geminaie’s thoughts to know she had been thinking about it. Her silence was more telling than she likely intended it to be. They would need to speak of it before too long, but the lupine did not want to put voice to it. There were promises to keep, a duty to others which demanded so much.

Still, as the silence broke, he smiled.

“I am happy that you found me,” he allowed his words to betray his thoughts. “For a moment I did not think your duties would allow you the time to attend.”

The wolf canted his head to look at the amber gaze which seemed to be fixed on him. She as close, and yet she seemed so far.

<<“You do not have to remain so distant…”>> his mind pressed against hers. <<“You can see the stars better from here.”>>

His hand touched the spot of grass beside him.
​

 

[Palm-Imer]

Location: Roon.
Wearing: XxX.
Tagging: Gerwald Lechner

​

A short laugh came from deep within her chest. She could not help but find it humorous. Palm shared his dislike for unnecessary formalities, but she had had no choice but to get used to them since a very young age. In fact, she even believed she had heard her name attached to some title or the other more often that it was used on its own. Now he would face the same fate and while Palm did enjoy teasing him, she was more than happy to continue calling him by his name when formality did not demand otherwise.

When silence settled again between them, it did not feel as comfortable as it had during the last meeting. It hung heavy in the air, it was brimming with the well of restrained thoughts they were both pouring into it. But also, in some measure, the knowledge that they even shared in this unexpected struggle was comforting.

Then his smile lured one of her own. That would have been so easy. One word, one little thing out of line would have been all it took to ensure that her duty truly barred her from coming here tonight. Perhaps some say it would have been the better alternative, to not subject both of them to the weight of their troubled souls that seemed to be sparked by their coming together, but not her. Not only would that have been cowardice, she knew she would have regretted not being here tonight - an important night for him. Instead, she had put herself through sleepless nights and endless days to ensure no obligations kept her away.

"Well, my duties now include those of the Obsidian Knights too," And she took them as seriously as she did her diplomatic role - but although this was true, it was not the real reason why she was here. "And I would not have missed this day. I did promise I would be here, so here I am." Gerwald had not yet called on her, at least not in the way she believed he had meant to convey on Naboo, but she had promised to stand by him when the day came for him to step up as Lord Commander. Today was the first day of many that would hopefully see her continue to do good on her word.

A bittersweet feeling tugged on her heart next. She did no have to remain distant, but maybe she should.

That thought only survived for a moment before drowning in the sea of other thoughts, many of which bid her to move and take the spot besides him. His invitation had alleviated some of the tension, for at least now she knew she was still welcomed into his personal space. With a small smile on her lips, she walked towards him. Her body was tired from the last trying weeks and the hours spent standing, walking and dancing as the celebration took place. Resting for a while was a welcomed opportunity.

Palm then lowered herself to sit next to him, a satisfied sigh escaping her lips as soon as she reached the ground. She was grateful for having picked a dress that did not hinder her movement nearly as much as her more formal attire did.

Normally, the geminaie would have made sure to descend gracefully unto the grass, kept a perfectly straight back and proper pose, accompanied by that guarded and unreadable gaze that made her look more like a statue than a person. There was none fo that now. Her head tilted upwards so that she could look at the night sky, legs folded lazily and her weight resting on her arms as she leaned back. She was relaxed, her body language showing she felt completely at ease in his presence. Safe. There was nothing she needed to guard.

Being close again felt good, and that was exactly what she had feared.

That knot began to tighten again in her chest as she tried to find the right words to say - or even any words at all. She feared bringing up the subject that troubled her would harm the trust that was built between them, then again so would leaving not saying anything. She breathed in before letting the stars out of her sight to catch his icy blue eyes instead. The memories from Naboo threatened to become overwhelming, made bearable only because of the tension that stopped them. She knew he could see it in her eyes, perhaps even feel it too. And for now, it all came down to one question. The one thing that had troubled her the most...

<<"Was it a mistake?">>

The fear of having created one more regret for him to carry.​

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

S O L I T U D E​

WEARING: xxx
TAG: Palm-Imer

It was important for Gerwald to hear that her promise meant something. How many times had others promised they would be at his side only to abandon him for a myriad of reasons. No, as much as Palm had offered her words with a bit of humor attached to them at first, it was the seriousness with which she conveyed the conviction that her word was her bond.

“Thank you.”

She would hear the relief in his voice, as though the words, her presence, had lifted one of the many burdens he carried. Yet, for the one burden it lifted, the geminaie’s proximity created more. Gerwald could not escape the sense of what was building between them. There was a tension which built because of the questions they refused to ask, or the words they allowed to remain unspoken. Fear prevented them, but the fear of what? There was a mystery between them, one Gerwald’s curiosity wanted to unravel while his caution urged him to run.

Instead, the wolf had invited her closer. She sat next to him before tilting her had to regard the stars above them. For a brief moment his eyes moved from the twinkling lights in the heavens to the form of the woman at his side. He had never truly allowed himself to regard her beauty, but in that moment he saw it. He saw her.

Despite the conflict raging within the woman, and the doubts she carried with her, she was at peace. For the first time since they had met, Gerwald did not sense her wrestling with the philosophy of her order, and the knowledge there was more, that she was limiting herself. That alone was enough to make Gerwald smile.

He shifted, propping himself up on his hands. Gerwald had been content to lay in the grass, but the desire to be next to Palm as they both watched the movement of the night sky had been enough to pull him upright. He had smelled her perfume before she had passed into the clearing, but now that he was close he could discern it even more. It was different than what she had worn on Naboo.

Silence enveloped them once more. It lasted for some time, longer than Gerwald would ever be able to account. He knew she could feel the way their minds stirred as clearly as he could hear the drum beat of their racing hearts. Each errant thought gave way to something which neither could bring themselves to say. Gerwald was not an orator. It was not until he joined the Knights Obsidian that Gerwald had learned to read and write beyond the basic skills he needed as a warrior. There was no hope he would be able to put his feelings to speech if Palm herself could not convey her thoughts.

He simply waited, content, until the question which had been haunting his mind since they had parted ways on Naboo rang in his mind once more. This time it was not his voice, but hers.

<<"Was it a mistake?">>​

Four words was all it took to burst the dam which Gerwald had erected to keep all of this thoughts at bay. Many questions flooded his mind simultaneously as he rushed through every possible way he could answer the question. Those questions gave way to fear that as he remained silent it would be seen as confirming what the question seemed to imply, that it had indeed been a mistake. Yet Gerwald froze.

His eyes simply bore their gaze into the golden mess of confusion that worked its way through the geminaie at his side. Gerwald did not know what to say. He could see she did not believe it was, yet feared it had been. Certainly Gerwald knew what it was like to make mistakes when it came to choosing who to trust, to bring into his personal and intimate space. What had happened on Naboo paled in comparison to the indiscretions of Gerwald’s past. As his gaze fixed on hers, he realized there was only one answer that would satisfy what they felt.

<<“I do not know the answer,”>> the words passed to her.

“But I do not wish to see it as such.”​

With how natural telepathy was for him, Gerwald chose to speak his desire out loud. It was not the intimacy of sharing their thoughts in the way Palm understood the use of such methods. There was a weight to speaking it, giving voice to it, yet there was fear which dripped off every spoken syllable. She would know it was important enough for Gerwald to say it rather than fall into the ease of their thoughts.

“Those I have cared for have either abandoned me, or met with tragedy,” Gerwald said as he instinctively reached for the ring which never left the chain around his neck.

His gaze left Palm’s long enough to regard the ring, fearing her eyes would follow. It was unfair of him to care for the geminaie while he still found himself loving another. Many had told the wolf he needed to let go, that it was long past time to move on, and yet he had just secured reassurance from the Nightmother that she would help him keep his promise to the woman bound to the band he bore.

“You know, you have seen the sacrifices my duty has demanded of me, and yet you did not pull away. I have pushed against your beliefs, challenged you in ways your order would chastise you for, but you have allowed it. My words invaded your mind, violated a boundary they should not have, and you embraced them. You know the promise I have made to another, and yet you are still here. A mistake would imply a moment of weakness, but with every choice you display strength.”

Gerwald looked away. He still did not have an answer. His mind, his heart, could not reconcile the conflict he felt. There was a longing which had laid dormant for so long Gerwald had forgotten what it felt like. He pulled the image back to the front of his mind. The feeling of being close as their foreheads had met. The next moment it was in her mind, placed there by the lupine. He let her feel his tension, the conflict, his fear. Yet, underneath it all, she would feel the peace it brought him. Was it dangerous, yes. Was it a mistake?

<<“How could it have been?”>>​

​

 

[Palm-Imer]

Location: Roon.
Wearing: XxX.
Tagging: Gerwald Lechner

​

Even before she heard his voice in her mind Palm could see that same uncertainty that plagued her reflected on his own eyes. They were both swaying to a dance they did not know the steps to, but that did not free them from having to move to its melody anyways. They still couldn't find a way to match its rhythm, and that was alright. It would have been unfair of her to expect them to have an answer where all she had was questions. Gerwald didn't know, and neither did she.

The geminaie was willing to accept this, and to bare the dreadful knowledge that perhaps her fear was reality. Perhaps their quickly earned trust had shined too bright too fast, and would fade - not unlike the several millions of stars that gazed down upon them. This was what worried her. Palm didn't care if whatever this feeling was remained a mystery forever, she could put up with that, but what she did not want was to lose a another friend. Specially not for a reason such as trusting too much.

When he spoke again she had not expected for him to do so verbally, and the words his voice formed stirred something within the young woman. She did not want to see it as a mistake either. Even in all its wrongness, sharing what she had shared with him had felt right. It so happened it was also intimidating, and made demands that they weren't sure if they were ready to answer to.

She did see the absentminded gesture, the fleeting fall of his eyes and then the ring that rested over his chest. She knew that his own conflict possessed a complexity that hers lacked. His heart yearned and grieved for another. How could it not? How could it be any different when he had given his word? Because of this, Palm shared in his guilt. It had not been her intention to put his feelings in jeopardy, and she would never be the one to have him fail his promises. She cared for and respected him too much - enough to understand, enough to know he was torn.

As he listed all the things that had fueled the despairing conflict between who she had been and who she was becoming when being by his side, she could feel the the strength of a certain conviction awaken. That conviction, that voice that told her she was on the right path while being battered by all the ones that told her she wasn't, needed to make an admission.

"It is strength I draw from you."

Perhaps the seeds of her doubt had been planted before their meeting, but Palm had never had it in her to nurture them like she did when prompted by the lupine. Had it been anyone else, the story that was being told now would have been much different. 'Why him?' was another question that lacked an answer, but that did not make it any less true. If she was growing out of the cage she had been pushed into, it was because she had made space for him.

When he pushed his own memories of the pool into her mind, her eyes could not help but fall closed. She could recall the feelings so clearly it felt as though they were no longer in the forests of Roon, but back at the site of their last meeting. The turmoil was silenced and only that powerful sense of calmness, of completion and connection, remained. Then she opened her eyes, and what followed happened without her mind rushing to alter her words or actions into something safe.

It could not have been a mistake.

She placed her hand on his shoulder, feeling both a tension and a release at allowing herself to reestablish the contact they both seemed to have been running from. "Wrong or right, I choose to stand by you." Her voice was calm and clear, unlike their thoughts and feeling it did not carry any doubt with it. "I cannot pretend to fully understand what that means yet - what this means," No matter what tomorrow had in store, Palm would rather face it with him. Her hand then moved, gently slid down his arm until it reached his own, the back of her hand simply resting against his own. This gesture also carried a certain intimacy, but more importantly it was voicing a message that words wouldn't have sufficiently expressed.

"....but I do not need to."

She lifted her gaze away from their hands to hold his own instead. "You have my trust," For a second, her eyes fell to the ring on his chest before returning to his, "and you have my help, in any way I can give it." This was what was important to her. She did not want to demand answers from him. She simply wanted him to know that no matter what he chose, she would be there for him.

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

S O L I T U D E​

WEARING: xxx
TAG: Palm-Imer

Gerwald had not anticipated her answer. He had not meant to lead her to the conclusion she confessed. The wolf admired the resolve she displayed, but it seemed there was one part that seemed to simply be accepted. Those he cared for had either abandoned him or met with tragedy. He had named his fear, that the woman next to him would meet with the same fate. It was the same fear he had for all that he allowed past the surface. Srina Talon and her handmaiden Lunara Azure were such friends as well. They carried their own demons as well. Perhaps it was why Gerwald was drawn to them. Even Palm had her burdens to bear. It seemed as though the lupine gravitated toward those who bore similar weights.

That did not mean her words did not have an effect. Palm’s answer left one burning question in his mind, how? It gave way to another, one that it seemed the geminaie was also asking herself. Why him? Gerwald would never pretend to know how fate worked, the force had a will of its own, or so some said. The wolf found the more religious aspects that centered around force use to be unnecessary. It was not some deity. Perhaps it was because he was closer to nature than most, but it simply was. The force flowed in everything, connected all things to each other. That did not make it divine.

There was no denying that something was at work between the two however. The wolf knew that it was not often two strangers found themselves trusting each other so deeply after few encounters. His intention had only ever been to break down the barriers which Palm allowed to limit her use of the force. He would not have a Knight in his charge that would limit their skill over some belief that the force should not be weaponized. Yes, it was an oversimplification, but it was how Gerwald had seen it.

Her admission that it had been her choice to let him, it had changed things. The confession he had been the first she trusted enough to allow him into a space that had been reserved for those considered to be the closest had left the lupine scared and curious at once. How was it that the strength she displayed to push past her doubts, and remain to keep her promise, came from him when all he could feel was conflict.

His life was one of conflict, and had been from the moment he discovered the truth about himself, that the life his mother had created for him and his siblings had been a lie. Perhaps it was this that bonded the two. He knew what it had been like to learn there was more, something beyond what he had been raised to believe. It was as though they understood each other because they understood what it meant to doubt. It was why he pushed her. She needed to resolve the conflict before the next came.

Duty competed with desire.

If she could not resolve the conflict of her own beliefs, then how would she ever resolve the constant tension between what duty demanded and what desire drove her to?

Gerwald took in a deep breath. There was a simple nod at what followed. It seemed neither of them understood what was happening. The reason they refused to name it was because they could not. This was the truth they had both chosen to accept.

“Do not do so blindly,” his voice finally answered. “I know I asked you to, but we both know that what you’re saying is beyond the scope of what I asked. On Naboo you pledged yourself to a Lord Marshall soon to be Lord Commander…”

His eyes fell to the hand that rest on the back of his. Her touch on his shoulder, now on his hand, it had been missed. She had been missed. That thought only added to the conflict. Her promise to help him as her eyes settled on the ring that lay on his chest once more only served to intensify the amount of guilt he felt. It had been easy to ask of Vytal, Voph, Redd, any he had asked. The one person he had not asked freely gave her word, and while it was right… it also was not. They both knew why the conflict existed, and yet they would not speak of it. It may not have been something they fully understood, but it was evident enough.

“...here… tonight...” he continued before pressing into her mind.

<<“you're making a pledge to me…”>>

His eyes closed as his mind returned to the promise she had just made. How could he ask her to help? Palm had seen the Nocna Mora in the memories he had shared with her from Naalol. She knew the things Gerwald had left out of the report, and the casualties they had suffered that he could not leave out of it. The potential cost of keeping that promise was grave. Gerwald knew for him to keep his word to Naedira that he may have to exchange his life for hers.

Gerwald moved to answer… to take her hand...

There was a thud. Then another.

Gerwald could feel the ground quaking beneath him. His head moved about frantically as his nose searched for the scent. Where was it coming from? His gaze turned east as the sound of the beast’s approach grew louder.

ROOOOOOAAAAAARRRR. ​

It was close.
​

 

[Palm-Imer]

Location: Roon.
Wearing: XxX.
Tagging: Gerwald Lechner

“I know I asked you to, but we both know that what you’re saying is beyond the scope of what I asked."
​

The corners of her lips curved slightly into the ghost of a knowing smile. Palm could not think of one time in her life when she had made a decision rashly, without having weighted the consequences of that which she said or did. Being aware of her choices and the gravity of them had practically been bred into her - and while that rationality had proved useful countless times, it was also one of the reasons why she struggled so when answers were scarce or when her feelings, the more instinctual part of her, threatened to override logic.

That was exactly what had happened, at first. It was what had led her to pulling away, to wanting to avoid the conversation they were now sharing. However, even in her turmoil she had found herself coming back to the same answer. It was a risky promise, it was a dangerous trust, but her cards had been dealt and now there was nothing left to do but play them. She cared for him as a friend and perhaps more, she respected him as a leader and she trusted him enough to show him vulnerability. Trusted him to know when and how far to push... No matter how risky or dangerous, something within her had declared he was worthy of that trust.

No, her pledge to him had not been taken lightly. She would stand by his side, because she knew he would do the same.

<<"I am,">> He would feel the conviction that permeated her gentle tone. Palm could have been unsure about everything else that was between them at the moment, but not about this. <<"so long as you will have it.">>

Just like it had happened on Naboo, for moment all she could feel was him as the silence settled, once again turned into a comfortable stillness despite being being wrought with a certain tension. Palm took that short lived instant to enjoy the reassurance that their closeness brought. She watched as his hand moved to take her own...

but it would not reach its mark.

The disturbing warning that the Force blessed upon those attuned to it shot down her spine like a lightning bolt. Palm lacked the acute senses of the lupine, but if the philosophies of her previous Order had accomplished anything, it had been making sure that the soll'nav possessed enough skill in the art of sensing to make up for their lack of practice with altering. Something had stirred within the forests of Roon, something massive.

Just as she turned her head towards the source of the disturbance, readying herself to lift her body from the shaking ground, that ear-splitting roar turned the peaceful night of the forest into a nightmare scape.

Whatever that creature was, it was approaching fast. Realization dawned in on her of her situation. Unarmed, donning clothing that by no means was suited for heavy action. Her gaze turned to meet Gerwald's, not clouded with unguarded feeling but with that steeled focus that belonged in the eyes of someone who was familiar with danger and battle shining brightly. This time she turned to telepathy without a second thought , reaching through the mental bridge that had been built between them as she got back on her feet.

<<"We need to move.">>

Just as she finished those urgent words, the forest itself seemed to groan in pain as the creature emerged....not yet before them, but above; its head rising over the trees. That terrible beast was now in plain sight...

...and as its large, hungry eyes were set upon the clearing, so were they.

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

S U R V I V E​

WEARING: xxx
TAG: Palm-Imer

He nodded, agreeing. The wolf did not know what he was agreeing to, but for now, for today, that was okay. It had been some time ago that Gerwald had learned he did not need all the details. When the truth that his mother had lied to him for so long finally came to the surface, Gerwald had been curious to know everything. His journey to seeking the answers he wanted led him down a path of discovery that he had not anticipated. There was a reason his family, that House Lechner, had been alone. Knowing that detail had become another burden, another mystery. Answers did not always solve the burning ache that the question set aflame.

<<“I will.”>>

Two extremely simple words had never carried so much weight before. There was something complex to them now. Her loyalty was not borne of his position or title, but who Gerwald had shown himself to be. Palm had chosen to trust him, not the Lord Commander, but Gerwald the man. He knew the feeling which flowed from that all too well. The fear that her trust would only lead to tragedy welled deep beneath his chest. His heart was heavy with the thought of losing another, yet it was happy to know that her reasons for choosing him were not because of what he was, but who he was.

Whatever tenderness the moment could have brought evaporated at the sound of the beast Palm suggested they needed to move. He did not need to be told twice. Gerwald had seen a great many things during his time in the Confederacy, but this by far was the largest creature his eyes had ever laid eyes on. Gerwald was a tall man, it was rare that anyone or anything made him feel small. This beast made him feel microscopic. They would either have to run, or kill it.

Standing, Gerwald turned to face the creature. He knew they had only one option. If they beast made it past them, if it made it past the clearing, it would find those still gathered at the beach. The creature which had awakened would find the where those who had come to the celebration were sleeping. The Knights Obsidian had seen their numbers decimated beyond immediate repair already. If this beast was not stopped, the fractured order would suffer more damage.

<<“We must kill it before it reaches the beach.”>>

He knew Palm would know it was right. The last time he faced down a beast he should have listened, he should have run. Lives would have been saved had not pressed deeper into the cave, had he run sooner. This was not that occasion.

This was not Naalol.

The beast roared once more, as Gerwald called to his blade. The yellow hue of the plasma hissed to life as Gerwald set his feet on the ground. The weapon would not do much. Yes, it would cause pain, but this would be a long fight if that was all he had.

Eyes turned to Palm.

“Do you remember what I showed at our first meeting? The ball… how I made it dissolve? Do you think you could do that now if I needed it done?”

There was a confidence in his eyes despite the natural fear the beast instilled in the wild wolf. Gerwald knew they could stop it, kill it. The trust that Palm had placed in Gerwald was now going to be tested.

“Are you willing to use the force to kill, or would you rather have my blade?”
​

 

[Palm-Imer]

Location: Roon.
Wearing: XxX.
Tagging: Gerwald Lechner

​

She had never faced a real threat while in the company of the lupine before. He had pushed her to confront her conflicts, to forsake her beliefs. Gerwald had seen her doubt, he had seen her struggles and her burdens - the things that kept her tied down. But there was none of that now, not as her every thought fell into place to create the mindspace of someone filled with steadfast purpose.

They did not have the privilege of doubting now. There was no time to fret over a disadvantage that would not be wished away., not when they stood as the only barrier between that colossal beast and the people they were sworn to protect. And if there was one thing that could move the geminaie to go to unfathomable lengths, it was duty.

The familiar rush of adrenaline began taking over her body as her fight or flight instincts were engaged. The first option being the chosen one, Palm kept a firm, steady grip over herself - her perception of her surroundings, the beast and the man that stood besides her growing more acute. She heard Gerwald's voice in her mind, and offered a single, determined nod as an answer. It would not reach the beach.

Her mind was working at an incredibly fast pace as her options where weighted. Her sabers had been left behind, she carried no weapons with her save for herself. She would have to be careful, but most importantly, she would need to get creative. As if she had already anticipated it, her eyes moved to meet Gerwald's too. She remembered the training room, she remembered the way in which the Force had responded to his influence when he willed it to obliterate that ball into nothingness.

Then her eyes fell to the lightsaber waiting at the ready in his hand.

She could feel the tear between what she believed was right and the need to act now begin to deepen, threatening her to swallow her determination with it. Could she do it? Could she bring herself to do the one thing she had managed to avoid? The darkness that simmered within her, the one that usually remained buried beneath several layers of denial, stirred and coiled in anticipation. It bred reassurance, it cheered her forward. It also scared her.

But there was simply no time to ponder on the guilt and the fear of regret. The beast was now almost upon them. She inhaled deeply, and as the air filled her lungs Palm braced herself to give voice to a decision she never thought she would make. She repeated words she had heard first from the man that had created her doubts and started her down this path, but that she had only had the courage to speak before Gerwald.

"I will do what I must."

A saber belonged in the hands of its maker. She would pick up a weapon of her own, the one she had never allowed herself to wield.

"I'll get its attention, we can't allow it to go out in the open." Even if the trees could barely hold the beast back, limiting its movement as much as they could was a small advantage that they could not forfeit. They were smaller and thus harder to follow, so far as they kept the beast busy in the woods they would have the option of seeking cover if needed. The clearing would not grant them that courtesy. So Palm moved towards one of the nearing trees and jumped, the deceptive strength of her body propelling her several meters into the air until she grabbed a hold of the tree and began her climb.

She drew on the Force to heighten her speed, to make her movements more precise and agile, for when she reached the tree trops and was eye level with the creature - she would need to move fast. As soon as she reached her destination, the fuming beast turned its massive head in her direction and roared, bearing a mouth lines with countless fangs and a foul odor. Right she thought she was running low on fuel for her nightmares...

Agitated by her presence, its head lunged at her with a speed that she had not expected from something so big. She jumped out of the way, its jaws closing around nothing but thick branches that were chopped as though they were nothing but small splinters. As it tried to get her, the beast had stopped its advance for now and Gerwald was no longer a concern to it - he would be able to go near it so long as it stayed out of sight.

But for how long its attention could be diverted, or her stamina keep up with this dauntless escapade - she could not tell for sure. All she knew was they needed to get close, needed to take a closer look at it. Even giants must have weaknesses. She would buy as much time as she could for Gerwald to find them.

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

S U R V I V E​

WEARING: xxx
TAG: Palm-Imer

"I will do what I must."

Gerwald was taken back to the question he had asked the ambassador upon their first meeting. As he tried to wrap his mind around what the soll’nav believed the wolf had to know if she was capable of using the force to protect her own life. Her answer had been simple. She would do what she needed to do in order to preserve it, or the lives of others. Gerwald never imagined those words would be put to the test so soon after saying them, but now they stood facing the gravest of them.

Could she use the force to kill? It was the only question that Gerwald had now. Even though she had refused his blade, he wondered if Palm would cross that line if she were forced to. There was part of him that wanted to see her do it, to finally be free of the greatest obstacle holding her back. The rest of him wanted to protect her from having to make that choice, to fell the beast before she would be faced with the decision.

Her mind was made up, and she seemed determined. Gerwald nodded. Her plan was sound, and as much as it pained him to watch Palm run toward the beast, into harm’s way, he trusted what she had said to him on the day of their first meeting. It was the answer to the question he had truly asked, if it was her life or that of another…

Gerwald was determined the beast would not make it past the clearing. He would lay down his own life before allowing anything to threaten the lives of those in his charge or care. The lesson had been hard for him to learn. He had questioned for so long why Naedira had put herself in the path of Darth Prazutis when she could have let a force master face the Mountain. Gerwald should have known the answer much sooner. Her actions had saved lives that day. Those actions were why he was still alive.

An icy gaze watched as another he cared about ran toward danger. Perhaps the tension and conflict the feelings stirred inside of him should have resolved themselves. In an instant Gerwald should have been able to admit to himself, and to her what those feelings truly were. Instead, the tension, the conflict, and confusion planted one all consuming question in his mind.

What if something happened to either of them before they could discover the truth of what was happening between them?

He pushed it aside, Gerwald had to. The beast was advancing, and Palm would not be able to keep up her distraction for long, not the way she was going about it.

His mind pressed to hers.

<<“Rely on the force… you’ll tire out much too quickly otherwise. Preserve your strength for the kill.”>>

This was not much different than a hunt. Certainly the larger beast they were facing was a predator, but so was Gerwald. He knew the amount of energy it took to capture and kill his prey. More energy was expended in the act of making the kill than it was in tracking his meal. The same principle applied in this instance. They would need to be ready to strike when the right moment came.

Pressing the force to his legs, the wolf ran toward the forest. He could help by cutting the tendons which allowed the beast to put weight on its massive legs. Gerwald was simply not sure how deep his blade would actually cut. With Palm in the trees, the lupine could not open the ground to trap their attacker. That left him with limited options.

Gerwald ran under the belly of the beast, and as he did slashed at where he imagined the ankles of the creature should be. It cried out in pain as the plasma of his lightsaber seared the flesh of the beast, though it did not seem to stumble much. There had to be a weak spot. Perhaps the head. If the blade could be driven though the skull of the beast then perhaps they could bring it down.

<<“The skull… can you break it?”>>

Yes, Gerwald was asking Palm to do something that he had not taught her to do. He knew the way he had made the ball dissolve was the first time she had seen such a thing done. Her mind had been closed off to the full scope of what the force allowed. It would be a test of her strength, not physical, but it would require her to reach as deep inside herself as any physical feat required. His request was not about pushing her, or testing her. The presence of the monster did that for him. This was about protecting lives, trusting that she would do what was needed to keep her own life safe.

<<“Do what you can. I have an idea… just…”>>

Gerwald did not finish the words, be careful. Palm would sense the turmoil he felt in even asking her to do something that could potentially weaken her, make her vulnerable to the beast. One dominating thought would press against her mind as the wolf could not manage to hide it from her.

He could not lose another because of what he asked…

He could not lose her.
​

 

[Palm-Imer]

Location: Roon.
Wearing: XxX.
Tagging: Gerwald Lechner

​

Her legs were beginning to feel the strain. She had been trying to rely on her body as much as possible, the question Gerwald had asked still repeating itself within her thoughts. Could she use the Force to kill? She never had before. Not even once. Palm was faced with the challenge of the unknown, and she feared she would not have the skill, the power needed to go through with it. That dreadful promise of powerlessness shook her to her very core - she could not let it break her focus.

The beast was beginning to move even faster, getting used to following her jumps. It did not share Palm's risk when it came to stamina, for it was so massive that each lunge demanded nothing more than for it to move its head in this direction or the other. In terms of sheer strength, mobility, and resilience, they were grossly outmatched. Then it roared, this time in pain as it threw its head back before setting her its eyes below it, legs stomping on the floor. It could not see Gerwald, but that did not make the frantic, aimless thrashing of the beast any less dangerous for the lupine that moved below it.

From her point of view, it felt as though the beast would stomp everything beneath it to death in a matter of seconds - and a kind of fear she had never felt once before settled in her heart. It would only be alleviated when he reached out to her through telepathy. Rely on the Force. She had always done so, but now she hadn't been. The knowledge that she was about to do something unforgivable was hurting her trust for and her connection to the main source of her power. She couldn't allow it, so she did the only thing she could think of doing.

She focused on Gerwald's words, bringing forth the memory of their first meeting. Of the moment when he finally pushed her far enough, and of the feeling of power that the experience had brought.

The Force rushed in through her, taking away the strain, easing her breathing, lifting her up. For the first time, Palm allowed herself to connect with it in a way she never had before - with the knowledge that it held a strength that went far beyond what she had been allowed to see, and that it was within her reach.

<<"When it lifts its head up, I will. try">>

Soon the beast would stop aimlessly scourging the ground with its eyes trying to see an attacker that was simply way too small and beneath the cover of thick leaves to be identified, and would return it's attention to her - now angered and in pain. Palm could feel the instinctual rage of the beast pouring out of it in waves, almost to the point of being overwhelming. That short instant of respite before the inevitable happened, she tried to use it to brace herself.

She centered herself, and thought of the people that were at the beach. She felt the hunger of the beast, threatening them with the promise of pain and death. Most importantly, she thought of Gerwald somewhere below them. She trusted the plan he had come up with, but she could not shake the feeling of dread at one of the possible outcomes of this encounter. That feeling matched the one he had just projected onto her, and her heart tightened around itself becoming a heavy burden within her chest.

They could not lose each other, but there was no way they could promise nothing would go wrong. And they could not fail their people, no matter the cost.

As the beast finally raised it's head, ready to strike against the opponent that it could see, Palm's own feelings were pushed into his own mind. The trust and the terror. The care which was returned in its entirety. Most importantly, a reassurance. She could not promise her own safety, but she could show him that no matter the outcome this was what needed to be done. He was making the right call. They were serving their duty.

Once again she was drawing the strength to do it from the confidence he inspired.

<<"Now.">>

The monster shot its head forward, jaws wide open, and Palm gave one last jump out of its way. Time seemed to stand still as her body moved through the air, but this time her footing would not be found on another branch. Startling the beast, the geminaie landed on the top of its head, her hands immediately lounging forwards to bury themselves in between the scales that covered it before curling around them, locked into a vice grip that could have crushed bone to secure her in that position. And then, she let go.

Palm called on the Force to turn against this creature, the energy she had managed to save being released now in this single action. Pressure began to build around the creature's head as it roared in pain. She could hear a first crack, her eyes firmly shut as she struggled to maintain her grip both on the creature and on the Force. Then the beast began shaking and swinging its head, trying to shake both the offender and the pain she caused off. Her strength began to dwindle, but this was not enough. She needed to hold on.

But could she?

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

S U R V I V E​

WEARING: xxx
TAG: Palm-Imer

The beast began to stomp, shaking the ground and threatening to throw Gerwald off balance. His mind allowed the fleeting thought to pass that what he wanted to attempt would be easier as a wolf, if only that wolf had opposable thumbs. He needed to find his footing if Gerwald was going to find a way to plant the blade of his lightsaber into the skull of the beast. The beast seemed to finally return its attention to Palm, and even though the ground stopped quaking, Gerwald stumbled.

Shock coursed through his system as the same fear he projected her was returned. Had she meant to allow him to feel it? Did she want him to know she was of the same mind? Gerwald did not have the time or the space to contemplate the answers to the questions that flooded his mind as the waves of her fear collided with his own.

He knew what was right. This was right. Once again Gerwald had been confronted with the choice between duty and what he wanted. Once again he chose duty. That resolve came with a sense of guilt and a dread that would never fade. It did not matter who Gerwald asked to follow him, or who allowed to get close. Duty would always demand his loyalty.

The revelation should have made him run away from it all, yet there was something in that moment which stayed his course.

Palm-Imer had chosen the same.

She would claim that her strength came from his, but in this moment, his resolve did not come from anything he had inside himself. Gerwald drew his conviction from the fact they both had come to the same decision. Together. Neither had to say it, put words to it. Duty was right. It was as though they both knew in that moment where they stood. Their feelings, their duty, did not have to be mutually exclusive, but the demands of duty would always be met. Together they faced the danger, and were both stronger because of it, and if duty demanded a price… it would be paid.

That did not keep Gerwald from wishing that price was not a possible outcome.

Those thoughts were pushed aside as Gerwald pressed the force to his legs. Palm had shouted in his mind, pulling him back to what he was intending to do. As he ran toward the beast, Gerwald kept running up its back. It’s neck stretch out as it attempted to catch the geminaie in its mouth. However she landed on the skull, pressing all of her energy into one motion.

CRACK!​

It rang out and echoed through the woods, as did the sound of pain that forced itself from the belly of the creature. The reaction saw Palm loose her footing, something Gerwald could not allow. She would fall to her death if he did not intervene, or so he feared. Today he would violate another of her beliefs, this time she would see how the force could save as well as kill.

His free hand reached out to her, wrapping the force around her like a tether. <<Catch!”>> The imperative would ring in her mind as Gerwald threw his blade toward her. If she caught it the soll’nav would be in the best position to drive the weapon in the brain of the beast. Their timing had to be right, because as soon as the weapon left his hand, Gerwald leaped into the air, the force shooting him high above the treeline.

A concentrated energy tingled in the palm of his hands. A guttural scream escaped his lungs as the lupine descended, crashing onto the head of the beast. Palm had seen Gerwald use this skill to turn a ball into nothing but dust. Now she would see him use it to slay the beast.

The shockwave from his hands would be enough to toss them both from the beast as it fell to the ground, limp and lifeless. Their combined effort had ensure the beast would not be a threat, but as they flew through the air, knowing the others were safe, Gerwald turned his attention to the one who was still in danger. Once again the force wrapped around her as he sought to slow her fall. There was just enough energy left for him to save one of them, and if it could be her, then Gerwald had to try.

He blacked out before he knew whether his attempt had worked. The lupine would never be able to recall the crash, nor the first few moments of his eyes opening to a blurry world. His breathing was labored, but the others were safe. That was all that mattered.

“Pa…”

Gerwald tried to call for the woman that had been with him, but he could barely speak. Was she there? Had she survived? In an instant the worst came to his mind. Once again he was alive when another was not.

His eyes closed again.

His world went dark.
​

 

[Palm-Imer]

A tragedy bloomed where pain became greater than purpose.

​

There were times when life decided to smile upon those who were weighted down by its burdens. Sometimes things simply went right. As the energy that flowed through her was spent to coil and crush against the mighty skull, down to its very last drop, and the strength in her arms began to fail her - Palm was hopeful.

She could feel him moving towards her, bringing the end of this beast with him. She lost her balance, and knew well what would follow. Her thoughts rushed to rid themselves of the pain and the struggle of the last few minutes, before it was too late. But 'too late' never came.

Sometimes things just went right.

The force wrapped around her just in time, directed by the will of the lupine, to save her from an early meeting with an unavoidable faith. Once again that need to defend herself from an offending influence threatened to arise, but this time it was squandered as soon as it reared its head. Another instinct had risen within her to meet and defeat it, one that knew that this was Gerwald's doing. That this influence was his - and that made it alright. It was not yet time to stop pushing herself, not now.

She had to go past the pain, past the struggle, and heed the familiar voice that rang clear in her thoughts. Palm looked up, ignoring that her vision had grown blurred and unfocused from the previous exertion. There was no room for mistakes, there wouldn't be any. Her hand moved forward to catch the hilt of a blade that was not familiar to her grip, and yet it was permeated by something that did feel deeply familiar. After all, it belonged to him.

Not a second after, the blade slashed down on the head of the beast, burning through its already injured layers to weaken them further. This would not be the final blow, but the prelude to it. Her amber eyes were lifted upwards, locking onto Gerwald in unparalleled admiration as he moved through the air. She could feel a power that was unfathomable gather around him - free of the bounds that stopped her, commanded and controlled by the purpose they both shared. That they would see to completion.

Then it hit her, but she had been expecting it. The deep warning of something terrible and by now, unavoidable. She had made her peace with it; for death, too, must be earned. Her eyes remained on him until the landing that would end it all occurred.

Then, there was falling.

Time slowed down, her body gave in to the exhaustion. She could hear the whistling of the rushing wind, its cold embrace and the sea of nothingness around her. If she closed her eyes, she could almost pretend she was back home, among giant trees and mountains. How many times had she lost her footing as a child? The memory alone gave this moment an almost endearing quality. Yet as the desperate warning of the dwindling Force within her grew louder, she knew very well that this fall was not like the ones she remembered. This would be her last one. This was the last sacrifice.

Her fate was accepted, but there was one more thing to do before the caress of the wind was replaced with the hardness of the ground. She would take no secrets with her. Reaching out for the final time, she sought him out through the Force. A small smile curved the corners of her lips when she found him. Her time was running short, so she tore down the walls of her mind for him. For all that was repressed wished for a way out, and now it was all laid bare as it was projected onto Gerwald. The feelings she held, in their unmistakable nature; the life she had led and the conflicts that had weathered her, the future she had once envisioned but now would never see - how she was filled with peace in this last moment and that if she had any regrets, it was only that she would not be here to keep her pledge.

It was alright. Sometimes things went right - until they didn't.

<<"No.">>

Her eyes were blown wide opened and the smile fell from her lips, any trace of peace vanished in an instant. She could feel her heart collapsing within her own chest as the Force once again wrapped around her for a second, just barely enough to break the promise of certain death by giving way to a chance at survival. The meaning of this one action unleashed a dread that threatened to set her soul ablaze. No. He could not save both of them. Despair wrecked her very being as she understood that the Force's warning had not been just about her. A torment that could not be put to words took over her while realization dawned in.

Then she hit the ground. A sickening noise was made upon impact, and a blackness began to creep onto her consciousness - to shut it down.

But she would not let it.

One name was repeated again and again in her mind. Sometimes it was clear, others unintelligible as the tug of war between her will and the state of her body raged on. The fire in her soul began to spread and burn hotter, the desperation feeding it. She had to get up. Labored, wheezing breathing struggled to make its way past her lips, the taste of blood resting on them. Palm opened her eyes to be welcomed by a blurry mass of colors. Her hand curled into fists, grabbing what they could of the ground with them. She couldn't move.

Sheer terror began to take over, she could not see him. She could not feel him. He wasn't there. One of her feet was weakly dragged across the forest floor in an attempt to find her footing but an agonizing pain made itself known in her abdomen. Yet unable to lift her head, she managed to move a hand to it, and could feel something lodged deep into her flesh, on her left flank. She must have landed on it, but she didn't care. Not right now.

<<"Gerwald.">>

The call was weak but it was there. It received no answer. The pain of the wound was nothing compared to the agony and the desperation. Get up. Her own mind, filled with a fearful anger, turned towards herself. She could not have lost him. Not like this. The fear began giving way to something much darker, something that had waited for this moment for too long.

Get. Up.

The gold of her eyes was drowned by a momentary flash of corrupted bright green and the Force was willed to gather around her once again. A strength that hadn't been there before, a power that would move her forward. It was that thing she feared so, now surging within her to raise her up. A pained groan escaped her as she turned on her side, then slowly got up on weak legs. Her eyes did not show an ounce of the weakness and the pain that was torturing her, fueling that dark and hungry flame. Then she walked, dragging herself in any way she could, worsening the wounds in her flesh, following the guidance that she had always forsaken before. She had accepted the enticing hand of the darkness within her, and it would lead her to what she sought.

Upon seeing his body laying on the ground, the dread became unbearable. She pressed her step, moving as fast as she possibly could before collapsing next to him. She was bleeding heavily, the large piece of splintered wood still stuck in her body, her lungs struggling to fill themselves with air. But she was alive, and only the Force knew what would be of those terrible feelings that plagued her if he was not.

She placed one of her hands at the side of his neck, feeling the faintest of pulses - barely there. Darkness slowly began to roll off of her in small but increasingly stronger waves as she pulled on a strength she did not truly have and that would cost her. She was willing to pay the price. Her other hand came to rest over his chest, next to the ring that meant so much. Perhaps Naedira, wherever she was, would help her succeed in what she was about to attempt.

Palm followed the dark whispers in her mind, she grasped onto the Force and pulled on it like never before. Eyes shut closed, pain frying every last nerve ending on her body. Her presence in the Force grew stronger, no longer neutral but permeated by darkness... until it became a vacuum, reaping the life away from the forest around them and forcing it into the man that had saved her - healing his body. This was a power she had not known before. She could not name it, nor could truly understand what it was doing. It was pure and instinctual, it had come to her as an answer to a desperate need.

Palm held on for as long as she could, suffering the consequences. Her consciousness finally left her, and her body dropped once again onto the soil of Roon, spent. She had nothing left to give. After today, there was nothing more to betray for all her oaths were broken.

And so was she.

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

S U R V I V E​

WEARING: xxx
TAG: Palm-Imer

Darkness.

The intimate familiarity Gerwald had with this particular shade of it would be everlasting. His dreams were consumed by it, and had been for some time. It was always the same. Cold, damp, empty, silent, and then it was not. Something was always lurking in the distance, moving toward him, chasing him, ensuring the predator knew he was the prey. Gerwald hated that feeling. He was meant to be the hunter, not the hunted, but in this place, in this darkness, the wolf was always put to flight.

He would always wake before the thing chasing him could come into view. It had never been more than a lingering presence, something looming, threatening to capture him. This time it would not be so. The lupine was too broken, too battered to wake from this slumber. If this was to be his final moments, he would give into the beast knowing that he had given his life so that others would live.

Yet, the smile which unknowingly pulled at his lips in what seemed like the final moments did not come from knowing the Knights would be safe. For once, it was finally his turn. He would lay down his life so one that someone he cared about could live.

She had let him see everything, feel every all consuming emotion that had grown within her since the day the two had met. From the first moment the wolf had challenged Palm, something had changed within her. Naboo had seen him push again, but in a way that was more intimate than he could know. Gerwald knew her uncertainty, could feel the way her desire wrestled with what was required. In the end he had felt the one thing that had allowed the geminaie to abandon certain teachings of the soll’nav and make room for the lupine.

Even as he faced the darkness, Gerwald would not name it. He would die true to every promise he had made since the day the ring came into his possession.

The smile faded as the beast finally came into view. It was the end. A fire lit inside the Lord Commander as the Devourer came into view. Turning to face it, Gerwald began to run toward the monster of his nightmares, only to feel a sudden pull, yanked from the darkness as if something, or someone, had reached in to steal him from it.

He woke to a loud scream. The familiar pain of dark side healing coursed through his body. Memories of the torture he suffered at the hands of Darth Prazutis flooded his mind. Gerwald could feel his flesh being burned, healed, torn, peeled, and healed again, while the sound of the Dark Lord’s laughter filled his ears. The wolf felt every bone in his body break over and over again, only to be repaired each time.

Suddenly his eyes were open. The night sky had given way to dawn. One breath was all it took for him to realize what happened. Blue eyes found the limp arm draped over his chest.

Panic consumed him. Guilt and rage fought for control. How could she? How could she have done this?

Gerwald rolled, sitting up to scoop her form into his arms.

“NO no nonononono no no NOOOO!”

The lupine could feel the faintest flicker of life inside her, but it was fading. He had to move quickly. Time was not his friend.

“Damn you, Palm-Imer,” he cursed as Gerwald stood holding the woman draped across his arms, his face wet with tears. “Why did you steal this from me? Why couldn’t you let it be me for once?"

"Why did you have to love me?"​

Anger kept Gerwald from saying what he should have. It was easier to blame her in the moment than it was to accept the loyalty he seemed to inspire. The lupine did not want to admit it was his duty to live and to lead. He was tired of paying the price it demanded of him. This time, just this once, if he was to survive, then so would she.

Minutes became hours, which turned to days. The first few days, the loyal wolf did not leave the geminaie’s side. A bacta tank had been secured once the plank of wood had been removed from where it had passed through Palm’s flesh. The medical team was confident Gerwald had gotten her to them in time to keep the wound from scarring as the bacta worked to repair the damage. Her coma was the primary concern. Palm's body had simply given out, shut down from the strain of so much power coursing through her at once.

Gerwald knew. There could have been only one answer. Palm gave in to the one thing she feared the most.

Darkness.

Guilt was the lupine’s constant companion over the several weeks which passed. He settled into a routine which allowed him to fulfill his duties and find the time he needed to visit the woman who had given so much of her life for his. He wanted to be there when she woke up. There was on burning question that had haunted him from the moment he realized the line she had to cross in order to grant the wolf new life.

Why him?​

What had it been about Gerwald that had led the soll’nav to abandon everything she had been raised to believe just to give into the one thing they were told to guard against? Was his life truly worth it, or was the answer hidden behind the vault of emotion she had opened up to him in what she had thought were her final moments?

His afternoon had moved too slow. All of them did anymore. Each day that passed which Palm did not wake up only made the next move slower. An exasperated sigh left his lips as he pushed away from the desk in the office the mobile command center for the Knights Obsidian housed for the Lord Commander. It had been in the conference room adjacent to it where Voph had given Gerwald the news that he would be the next Lord Commander. Now he wished it had never happened. Palm would not be lying in the medbay fighting to wake up.

The wolf was restless. He was not getting any of the work done that he needed. There was only one place he wanted to be in the moment, one place that demanded all of his attention. His feet carried him down a path that would have had a line worn into it had the floor not been made of durateel. Gerwald was so familiar with the route he could have walked it with his eyes closed. Nothing would have changed, not yet. He had not been informed she had woken up. His arrival would a surprise, but no one would question it.

Gerwald found the cot which had been set up in the room for him. His feet stopped near half way to it. Turning he looked at the slumbering beauty for a time, and in the briefest of moments wondered if the tales meant for children held the simplest of answers. He returned to his original path, sitting on the cot long enough to remove his boots before laying his head on the pillow, and kicking up his feet.

His eyes closed as he pressed a plea into her mind.

<<“Please”.>>

Gerwald paused, sitting in silence for a moment.

<<“If not for you… then for me…”>>

Please.​

​

 

[Palm-Imer]

Tagging: Gerwald Lechner

​

For a long while, she thought she was dead.

The nothingness was too great. A vast and black ocean that drowned everything, until it was crushed beneath it. There, she rested. Laying at the bottom of that nulling immensity for what would feel like an eternity. Trapped in an endless eclipse. Nothing could reach her there, and she could not reach out. There was no pain, nor was there peace. There were no memories and no thoughts.

If 'end' had been a feeling, this was what it would be like.

Yet even if that place seemed timeless, Time did keep moving on. It kept walking forward. Without her. Her body began to mend, slowly, but it would not matter. So much else was broken still. The pieces were lost in the sea, and for the longest of times it looked as though they would remain lost forever. Palm was unaware of the currents that began to draw them back together, lost in the nothingness. She would soon wish they never had.

It started as hazy mirages of images rushing through her mind. They moved too fast, they were muddled by the wall of blackness that kept her apart from everything. Some of them sparked comfort and longing, others would disturb her; the feelings they evoked where unaffected by the fact that she could not quite tell what was that was being shown. She didn't remember. Not yet.

The days went on, long and tiring. Now she was aware, to some degree, of the place she had receded into. Of the utter loneliness. Of her inability to get back - even if she did not know where 'back' was. So she would wait, wishing for something else to happen. For the images to become clearer, or a way out to reveal itself. Luck had long abandoned her, there was no egress from this place. Only sinking deeper. Eventually, she would begin to lose hope.

A sharp needle went through her chest, piercing her heart and creating an agony that had no match. It was sudden, it came after so much numbness. The hurting was unbearable. She did not know why, until through the pain one image was forced to show itself clearly to her. A man. A man that she knew. Something was wrong with him. Desperation began to bloom all over again, and with it the tendrils of something terrible began to surround her. Then to whisper in her ear, some with voices that she knew, some with ones that were foreign.

Weak.

Traitor.

Those whispers held her heart within their claws. She did not understand, vulnerable and alone. Palm asked questions, and in their evil intent, they gave answers. The tides were let loose, and the waves crashed on her with a furious might. They brought back the thoughts, and the memories. The pain, but not the peace. Never the peace. She cried, aching and soundless sobs wrecking through her as it all came back - keeping her trapped in the confines of a mind that would show her no mercy. Her own.

What had she done?

Her people, her oaths. She had forsaken everything - still she had not saved him. The last thing she had seen before the blackness was her greatest failure. There was a grief that knew no bounds, a pain no being on this universe could bare, and a loneliness that ripped her soul apart at its seams again, and again, and again. Not even the Force was there to comfort her. All was lost. She had lost it.

And her heart broke.

XxX
​

At some point her mind gave in, the nightmare itself had become her only companion and she was left with no choice but to lean into it. To let it break her. That dark presence in her reveled in the chaos and destruction, it had settled into every nook and every cranny of her being and made itself at home. Only then did it grant a brief respite from its onslaught. Only after it got what it wanted, and only until it chose to demand more.

A new sound joined the whispers that never ceased, a bubbling, swirling and diffuse sound. Water, or something like it. She had no way of knowing that this was her first recollection of the world outside of her mind, and for a moment she simply accepted it as another part of her new reality. But it began to grow stronger, and soon she could not only hear the water, but feel it, rushing down her skin as she stepped unknowingly back into the land of consciousness and the bacta tank began draining itself.

Her eyes opened as her feet hit the floor of the tank, their golden hue was now dull. Disoriented and confused, her hand raised to remove the mask from her face so that she could breathe properly, the other one bracing against the wall of the bacta tank. She didn't know where she was or how she had gotten there. In truth, she didn't believe this place was anything more than another fold of her troubled mind - it just felt more real. Out of instinct, the geminaie tried to touch the Force. Tried to seek guidance.

But she recoiled immediately as a dark, fiery lash wrapped around her, forcing all the hurt she had been buried beneath to sear her mind again. Palm fell to her knees, out of the tank, expression contorted with pain and folding her arms around herself in a futile attempt to shield against the sudden attack. Yet she couldn't.

When it passed and she raised her head again, still on the floor, her eyes would be met with something that would freeze her in disbelief. In sheer terror of what was to come, for this could not be real. He could not be real. Her voice came forth, pained and broken, calling to the sleeping man that she feared would never answer.

"Gerwald."

Would the torture never end?​

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

S U R V I V E​

WEARING: xxx
TAG: Palm-Imer

Sleep came at the moment Gerwald had not expected it. He was tired, emotionally drained, and weary of hoping that the woman would wake up. The demon haunted his dreams now more than ever. He had seen its face, and now it knew it could reach him. The sick and twisted mind of the Mountain had brought this thing to life. It sought one Gerwald loved, taken the lives of countless faces, and now had its sights set on the wolf.

It would always find him. Though this time the dream had a different ending. As Gerwald ran, fearing this would be the time the beast finally captured him, a voice pulled him out of the darkness. It had been the same sensation which he felt the day he woke to find Palm’s limp body draped over him.

Eyes opened to find the voice he had heard was not ethereal, nor had it been a dream. Palm-Imer was on the floor, having pulled herself out of the tank.

His head slowly canted, still groggy as his sleep was never satisfying these days. A slow smile pulled at the corner of his mouth, though it did not raise to his eyes at it once did. Everything about the lupine was exhausted, and while Palm had spent weeks in a bacta tank recovering, Gerwald had been burning the candle at both ends between his duty to the Knights, and the duty he felt to seeing her fully recover.

“You’re awake,” he mumbled, his voice filled with the gravel of his sleep.

His mind pressed to hers.

<<“I should have said please sooner.”>>

Had she heard him? Something seemed different. As he began to awaken, become more observant, there was something which seemed off. The smile on his face faded to a look of concern. What had her sacrifice truly cost her? The answer to that question did not matter in the moment. All that mattered was that she was awake. The geminaie lived.

Gerwald shifted, sitting up in the cot before standing to retrieve a rob. She looked cold, still wet from the liquid in the tank which she had been in. Weeks of disuse would have left her muscles weak, and the lupine knew she would have a difficult time standing. Once he had her wrapped in the robe, Gerwald laid her in the cot he had been sleeping in.

“I need a medic in here, NOW. She is awake!”

That was all Gerwald could manage before a medical team rushed into the room to run the necessary vitals. Was everything okay? There would be answers soon, or so he hoped. Until they were finished all the wolf could do was wait. It was something he had grown tired of, but now that she was awake, he found his patience renewed. The Lord Commander could wait a few minutes more until the medical team finally left.

“You had me scared for a bit there… How do you feel?”
​

 

[Palm-Imer]

Tagging: Gerwald Lechner

​

For weeks, the only stimuli she had known had come from within the darkest corners of her inner self. Now, even the feeling of the air against her skin felt overwhelming. Everything was too much, yet she tried to ignore all of it as her gaze clung to Gerwald - pressing her own mind to understand what was going on around her, silently begging to anything that would hear her that this time he didn't slip away into nothingness. Could it be that she had been set free? No, that darkness still loomed behind her. It breathed down her neck, rooted deeply in a battle between its own ill will, and her own. A war that, so far, It was winning.

"You are awake."

A sharp sigh escaped through her lips, startled by how clearly she could hear his voice. Was she? Slowly, the pieces of the puzzle into which her mind had scrambled began to fall in together. The hardness of the floor, the effort her weak limbs were put under just from battling mere gravity, the cold that bit at her flesh. Awareness took its sweet time, but it was returning. And as it did, she focused it on him.

He seemed so tired, even if he had just returned from sleep. Then his voice reached her again, this time in her thoughts. Her mind reeled, trying to form words that wouldn't come. A robe was wrapped around her, she offered no resistance as he moved her onto the cot. The growing headache forced her to close her eyes for a moment, too many thoughts trying to cram themselves into the front of her consciousness. So many questions, so many feelings. It was too much.

The medics walked in, and once again she simply stayed still as they checked her vitals. Everything would come up fine, it was not her body that still needed healing. With some effort, she managed to sit up with back resting against the wall. By now, she was as certain as she could possibly be that she had come back. However, the feeling of wrongness would not be shaken. She had gone too deep into the darkness, too fast. It would not let go of her that easily.

If there was one thing that brought solace, it was seeing him standing in that room. Alive. At least now she knew that this agony was not in vain. Her failure was beyond any kind of forgiveness, but it had not been absolute. Gerwald was still here, and so was she.

The doctors left the room once they were satisfied with the data collected. They said something about her being stable, about having made a full recovery. If only that were true. They were gone, and the silence was broken once again by the lupine. The question brought a lump to her throat. Palm wanted to show him. She tried to reach out, but all that would breach through the mental bars that caged her was darkness. A darkness that she had invited in.

Palm could barely even feel his presence in the Force, she could not draw on it for comfort. Her powers, in the way she knew them, were gone. There was only the darkness, and she could not control it. She had been cut off by it. Beaten and trapped. It had given her what she wanted, and now it collected its price. Tears welled in her eyes, the sorrow of her betrayal hand in hand with the relief that seeing him brought. When it came down to it, she could only say one thing, struggling to not let the tears fall or her voice break.

"I thought you were dead."

That she had let him die.​

 

[Gerwald Lechner]

S U R V I V E​

WEARING: xxx
TAG: Palm-Imer

"I thought you were dead."​

“You didn’t let me,” his answer came with an implied accusation.

Gerwald was grateful that they both had lived, but they both knew her action was one of desperation. Both of them had been willing to die for the other, and their actions had proven it. He sighed, knowing that he could not be upset with her for it. Palm acted out of the strongest emotion anyone could ever know. It had been the same thing which had driven Gerwald to find the Mountain, to seek revenge for the loss of Naedira, and what drove him to see her free from the tether. He knew it was possible the woman would never be more than a friend, even though his heart had longed for her. The wolf had made his peace, but would keep his promise regardless.

It was quiet for a moment as his eyes washed over the form of the woman who laid in the cot that had been his for the past several weeks. A small, but happy, smile pulled at his lips, this time his eyes lit up with it.

“It seems we were both too stubborn to let the other die.”

Gerwald said nothing about what she had shown him, revealed to him, before he caught her with the force. It was ironic that his one act had made it possible for them both to be alive now. With the damage Palm had suffered, his death may have simply delayed her own with the damage that had been done to her body. If no one had found her in time, they would have perished together.

Duty would have been discharged.

The others would have still lived.

Once again Gerwald reached out to Palm through the force only to find that strange sense that something was wrong… different. His eyes widened as he realized she had fully committed to cutting herself off, containing her abilities in such a way that she would not be able to access them. He knew why, and he only blamed himself.

“Why did you do it,” he asked, already knowing the answer. “You broke every barrier, every limit, every vow you have ever made, for me, to save me. Why didn’t you just let me give my life for yours?”

The question was laced with guilt. Palm would not need the force to know Gerwald was blaming himself for the situation she found herself in. Had he not let her in, had he pushed her away on Naboo, this would not have happened. They had gone to the pool in that cave at his bidding. Gerwald had pushed himself into her mind, inviting her to do the same. Her trust had led to this, and despite warning her that doing so would lead to tragedy, knowing it himself, he still let her choose this. Palm had nearly been another victim of his, something he could not bear.

She might as well have been still.

Rather than dying, she now cut herself off from using the force. A darkness was inside her, one he had pushed her to. Palm could say what she wanted about this, she could protest, but he knew the truth. From the day they had met, Gerwald had pushed her, and that had led them here.

“This is my fault.”
​