Private After Silence

[Eurydice]

At the very least, the chairs here were comfortable.

Sat in the medical center’s infusion suite, Eurydice watched the transparent tube connected to her remaining arm. It fed a mixture of bacta, iron, and various other vitamins and minerals she’d been assured would aid her recovery, into her bruised body.

The Jedi raid of Tython had nearly ended her life. A kindly young man had picked her body from the rubble and administered first aid; his timely intervention was likely the only reason she’d survived.

Though alive, healing would be a process. The wound in her abdomen had been made with some sort of Jedi tool that left her connection to the Force scattered and muted.

The most damaging aspect, in her view, was the severing of her arm. The phantom sensations were difficult to live with, and Eurydice had already dropped quite a few objects she’d tried to pass to her absent right hand without thinking. Fortunately, the lack of limb was easily disguised by the long, billowing fabric of her robe.

Eurydice sighed, settled back into her chair, and idly picked at a loose thread on the hem of her sleeve. Each infusion left her feeling a little less like a walking corpse, but they could be incredibly dull.

Varin Mortifer

 

[Varin Mortifer]

VARIN MORTIFER

Equipment: Durum Mantle | Black Blade of Chandrila | Eye of The Dragon | Heavy Sith Mace | Cross Guard Broadsaber

“Sir, we have told you several times, you are not ready to walk among the streets at this time.”

The voice interrupted the silence of the room as a medical and a security droid escorted Varin back into the recovery area. His body favoring his left leg more than his right as he limped into the room.

“You need to be sitting and resting. The nutrients in your body are still rather low. Hold still.”

Varin sat silently in the chair across the room from Eurydice, his view blocked by the massive security droid and the medical droid as it slowly drove the needle in his arm.

He didn't flinch. It was nothing compared to what he had suffered through. New scars had developed on his body, more along his spine where surgical needles only allowed nutrients when his captors deemed he was ready for them in The Box.

They then strapped his arms and legs to the chair to keep him still for his daily treatment. A chore that they had soon realised he was able to escape from several times over.

When they finally cleared, his head was hung low, his hair dangled in front of his face as he looked at his boots in silence. Then he felt a familiar presence.

Slowly he looked up, his burning eye and his dark brown eye falling onto Eurydice. His eyes widened when he saw her and his voice came quietly.

“...Eurydice?”

Eurydice​

 

[Eurydice]

Eurydice perked up as a pair of droids - one medical, one security - escorted a stumbling mass of a man into the infusion suite. The monitor tracking her spiked heart rate chimed softly.

Were they…were they strapping this new patient to the chair??

The one blessing Eurydice had found in this hospital was that she didn't fear being killed by other patrons. Not in the traditional sense, at least. As she silently bemoaned her luck, the droids moved away without ceremony once their tasks were complete.

Eurydice tried to look everywhere that wasn't the new, clearly dangerous patient. He was looking at her, though. She could feel his eyes. Little beads of sweat gathered at her brow, and then he said her name.

Her attention snapped forward. Recognition hit her like a bolt of lightning, but it took a few long, silent moments of scanning his disheveled features for it to truly sink in.

"V-Varin?" she squeaked in disbelief. "What are you doing here?"

Eurydice peered a little closer. Worry soured the softer features of her face. "Why did they tie you to the chair?"

Varin Mortifer

 

[Varin Mortifer]

VARIN MORTIFER

Equipment: Durum Mantle | Black Blade of Chandrila | Eye of The Dragon | Heavy Sith Mace | Cross Guard Broadsaber

Varin grunted as he sat up, his lower back aching from the earlier adventure in the streets outside before the droids found him.

“Turns out, when they say to rest, they mean for you to sit and do nothing at all.”

A slow breath left him as he tried to relax, the heavy leather bindings that held his hands and legs creaking under the stress of his body.

He looked over at her, noticing she too was admitted in this same room.

“...what happened with you?”

The machine beside him clicked as it adjusted pressure within the I.V. tube within his arm, clear liquid being fed into his body full of various nutrients and vitamins his body lacked.

He noticed the infusion going into her body as well, his chest tightening and absentmindedly his hand clenched before he loosened it.

“Who did this to you?”

Eurydice​

 

[Eurydice]

"Yes it…can be rather dull, can't it?"

Eurydice was distracted by the way his restraints creaked and groaned. Varin was a large man, and she was certain that he could break his bindings if he truly wanted to. Unless there was some sort of force suppression at work. Or a muscle relaxant.

With how often he found himself in combat, she wasn't surprised to see Varin here. However, he was surprised to see her.

"O-oh…"

It wasn't that strange, really. The Seer spent her time among tomes and divining pools and meditation rooms. Not in direct combat - not if she could help it.

"I was a little…caught up in the assault on Tython."

Her fingers settled back onto the loose thread they'd been fiddling with, absently picking another stitch our from her sleeve.

Those Jedi had cold, cruel faces. She'd always pictured them being serene. How jarring it had been, to see them up close.

"What about you? Were you injured by the Jedi, too?"

Varin Mortifer

 

[Varin Mortifer]

VARIN MORTIFER

Equipment: Durum Mantle | Black Blade of Chandrila | Eye of The Dragon | Heavy Sith Mace | Cross Guard Broadsaber

His head tilted when she mentioned Tython. It sounded as if she had little choice in taking part in combat. Something he could tell she had little experience with.

He watched the way she picked at her robe then her next question came to him after a moment.

A question that caused his back to tighten and his fingers to tap on the arms of the chair he was strapped to.

“No…not Jedi.”

His voice was quiet, a hard swallow to get rid of the harshness in his throat then he continued.

“I was…captured.”

His voice was quiet, just enough to carry to her as the machine clicked and hummed beside him.

“I was held on Kamino for some time.”

He paused as he thought of the freezing temperatures he was forced to endure in his cell, the bindings and the force suppression, the feeling of near starvation and a dull pain reverberated within the sockets of his shoulders causing him to roll them slightly.

“I'm…still recovering.”

Eurydice​

 

[Eurydice]

Captured?

It almost seems absurd, that there existed more terrible powers than Varin. Had it been one of those monstrous Sith Lords? The ones who had so much power that it seemed like they were on the brink of folding in on themselves?

Eurydice’s face softened. She didn’t have any friends, but she felt as though she understood the concept. She hadn't been that removed from typical commoner life, even if her duty was to be an observer. It hurt to see Varin like this, given that he was one of the few Sith who’d shown her a mote of kindness.

“Kamino?”

That was what she’d expected to hear. As the surprise slowly faded from Eurydice’s countenance, so too did her voice quiet.

“I’m sorry that happened to you,” she murmured. A silent, awkward beat passed as her fingers ceased their fidgeting. "But I am glad that you got out."

It might've sounded like a platitude, but for what it was worth, she meant it.

“How…how did it happen?”

Varin Mortifer

 

[Varin Mortifer]

VARIN MORTIFER

Equipment: Durum Mantle | Black Blade of Chandrila | Eye of The Dragon | Heavy Sith Mace | Cross Guard Broadsaber​

Varin remained silent, almost as if her apology had simply rolled off of him, She had nothing to apologize for. His hand twitched under the restraint when she mentioned she was glad he made it out.

“Not in one piece I’m afraid.”

His voice had remained quiet, almost like a mumble and possibly easy to miss as his gaze turned to the floor at his boots.

Her next question drew a small breath from him before his eyes wandered back to hers.

“I pushed too hard.”

A small scoff escaped him as he shook his head.

“I fell…”

His voice was now but a whisper, spoken out of an exhale.

“The Jedi took me prisoner first. I was questioned, held in a suppression cell, the textbook holdings of dangerous force wielders. But…”

His voice broke slightly through the whisper.

“It was what happened after that wounded me the most.”

His fists clenched tightly, the leather straps straining against the flexing of his forearms.

“I was extended a promise of my home. Like a foolish child I accepted, then was taken somewhere to be held indefinitely.

He drew a long shaking breath from his chest.

Eurydice​

 

[Eurydice]

​

Not in one piece? What did he mean?

Eurydice's gaze immediately flew to his hands - both intact - and then his legs. Had he lost a limb as she had? Or something else…? She'd never known him to speak so softly that his words were nearly lost by the ambient space between them.

Slowly, Varin revealed the circumstances of his capture. Taken by the Jedi, held in Force suppression, and then…well, she could only presume that he'd been lied to. But why?

Eurydice shifted uncomfortably in her chair, but her focus remained on Varin. She'd never seen him brought so low. It was jarring.

Were the Jedi really that cruel, to dangle false hope in front of the imprisoned?

"That's awful," she whispered. "Did they…how did you get away from them?"

Varin Mortifer

 

[Varin Mortifer]

VARIN MORTIFER

Equipment: Durum Mantle | Black Blade of Chandrila | Eye of The Dragon | Heavy Sith Mace | Cross Guard Broadsaber

He remembered the first time he was ever restrained to a piece of medical furniture, and the time he was put into the bacta tank after his first bout on Brosi. All the rage and fight within him trying to break out of chained restraints.

Sedatives did not even help, the amount of rage that burned through his body, burned through the medications they tried to use to sedate him.

Now here he was. Complacent. Quiet. Even distant. It felt like a lifetime ago. The runes along his arms, chest, back and ribs did not even glow as brightly as they used to. A warm faint orange light imminent from them, not the blazing furnace they once were.

He could tell the way she had shifted that the feeling of unease was suffocating over her. She wanted to know how he escaped.

But the truth was, he did not know. The drugs and the weakness that flooded his body left him dazed and confused for days. Consciousness was but a precious commodity while he froze in that cell.

It took him a moment before he finally answered her. A quiet breath of a whisper that escaped him.

“Luck of the draw…I guess…”

Slowly he sat up, straightening his back, another deep breath filling his lungs before a slow and deep exhale would empty them. The machines around him continued their process, pumping him full of different vitamins and nutrients his body had been starved of.

“I saw them…my family…”

He paused for a moment before he continued.

“Well, heard them I should say. I was blindfolded and muzzled the whole time I was captive. I don't know if it was whatever they were giving me or some supernatural coincidence, but I was able to speak with them again.”

His finger twitched under the restraint.

“A disappointment…I was called. Not worth their blood, or my Father's throne…”

Small black lines began to crawl up the veins in his neck, like ink in water, but Varin did not seem to notice.

“I will need to prove them wrong.”

Eurydice​

 

[Eurydice]

Eurydice rose slowly, wavering on her feet. It took her a few good seconds to find her balance. A singular hand wrapped around her IV pole, and she shuffled her way over to Varin.

She wasn’t certain what compelled her to move closer, even as his pensive silence hung heavily between them. He was in his own thoughts, recalling things that she did not know. From the grim expression and pain lingering in his eyes, she understood them to be unpleasant memories.

Crossing the distance between them, however scant, was slow work. Finally, Eurydice eased herself into the chair beside Varin.

Then, he spoke - he’d seen his family. Or rather, had been in some sort of contact with them. Blindfolded and muzzled, like some beast. The Seer was aware of his reputation on the battlefield, and even if something in him was truly monstrous, he’d been kind to her.

Eurydice took a deep breath and found her voice. “Are they not…”

They were all dead, right? At least, that was what he’d told her on Ilum. Had he been wrong? Communing with the dead wasn’t out of the realm of possibility, but now inky veins were creeping up his neck and that was concerning.

Eurydice found her hand hovering over his own. She hesitated. Slowly, cautiously, it lowered. Pale fingers looked so tiny atop his own.

“Are you certain it was not a hallucination?” she tried gently. “Something your captor induced to demoralize you further?”

Varin Mortifer

 

[Varin Mortifer]

VARIN MORTIFER

Equipment: Durum Mantle | Black Blade of Chandrila | Eye of The Dragon | Heavy Sith Mace | Cross Guard Broadsaber

His gaze slowly pulled to her, his eyes flicking over her face, before they fell to where her arm used to be.

“Your arm…”

The sudden realization caused him to try and sit up but the restraints held, and he watched as she sat next to him.

When he noticed her hand hover over his the tension slowly relaxed over him. The contact bringing a sense of calm over him allowing him to take a deep breath.

“...did the Jedi do this to you?”

He was quiet for a moment as the question hung in the air, then he remembered her questions after a slight shake of his head.

“It’s likely…but there was something else.”

A slight wince hissed from his teeth then he leaned to the side as best as he could.

“Left my shirt just a bit over my ribs.”

He would wait for her to lift the shirt before he spoke again, after the fabric lifted she would see a splotch of black over the mid point of his ribcage and a wound that seemed to refuse to heal. The veins around the wound have also blackened over time.

“A gift from my Father…”

Eurydice​

 

[Eurydice]

Varin's anger swelled in the space between them, sharp and needle-like. Eurydice held her breath until the edge fell away.

The Seer nodded slowly. Wordlessly. More than the pain and fear she'd suffered, she was embarrassed. Sith were supposed to be strong. Her continued survival was an anomaly.

Then, Varin told her to lift his shirt. Eurydice stilled, pale cheeks flushed and eyes wide.

"Wh- yo-" she stuttered, incredulous once she found her breath again. Her head whipped back and forth. They were alone enough, but reception was just around the corner. They were close enough to hear the hum of nursing chatter and the idle beeps of medical machinery.

"Here…?"

Eurydice's hand trembled as she pinched the hem of Varin's tunic between her thumb and forefinger. As the fabric rose, so did the hammering of her pulse. Blood thundered in her ears, nearly blotting out his explanation, but her frazzled expression began to fall at the reveal.

It wasn't bruising. It was rot. Corruption.

His father had done this?

Slowly, reverently, Eurydice lowered his shirt back into place. Despite the invitation, she felt as though she'd seen something she shouldn't have.

"What is it…doing to you?"

Varin Mortifer

 

[Varin Mortifer]

VARIN MORTIFER

Equipment: Durum Mantle | Black Blade of Chandrila | Eye of The Dragon | Heavy Sith Mace | Cross Guard Broadsaber

He could feel the open air touch the open wound, a slight sting pulsed from its origin and up his ribs, a small wince hissed from his lips.

Her question found him, but he was silent for a while before he slowly straightened back up.

“It is what kept me alive in The Box.”

He slowly sat back his fingers tapping on the arms of the chair as he recalled everything.

“He gifted me some of his presence through my ribs and to my heart. It kept my heart pumping. Whenever I stopped breathing it forced air into my lungs.”

The tapping ceased then his voice grew quiet.

“They can't figure out how to remove it without killing me.”

His gaze finally found hers, a twinge of something else in his eyes as he looked at her.

It was fear.

Fear of death before he had accomplished what he had promised his family he would do. Fear of failing them and shaming his bloodline, and fear of failing his people.

“I don't know what to do…”

Eurydice​

 

[Eurydice]

So it wasn't rot. At least, not in the traditional sense - whatever this was had kept him alive.

Eurydice didn't know what to do when Varin looked at her like that. With fear. She'd never seen him express it before. Not this openly, not this raw. Fear was a familiar companion of her's, but it was unnerving to see it on him.

"Did you want to die?"

Despite being incredibly soft in some areas, the Seer didn't shy away from thoughts of death. It was a natural as life. All things would come to an end, eventually.

Now that she thought a little harder about it, being forced to live through torture certainly sounded more like a curse than a blessing.

As her question landed, Eurydice's fingers began to pick at the strap around Varin's wrist.

Varin Mortifer

 

[Varin Mortifer]

VARIN MORTIFER

Equipment: Durum Mantle | Black Blade of Chandrila | Eye of The Dragon | Heavy Sith Mace | Cross Guard Broadsaber

Her question brought a form of clarity to his eyes. A few breaths escaped him before he answered.

“...no.”

The word came quietly and simply. There was no sting or edge to it. Just a raw truth.

The blackened veins along his neck slowly started to recede back to his skin tone.

“I wanted to live so that man would know he could not break me.”

A pause before he continued.

“Call it arrogance, call it spite. I called it a reason to keep going.”

“It only fueled what I was planning on doing with him even further.”

His chest thudded loud enough he could hear it in his ears, at that moment he knew he was getting worked up. He took in a few slow deep breaths so medical staff would not just waltz in on their conversation.

“Have you ever been faced with death, but felt you were not allowed to die?”

Eurydice​

 

[Eurydice]

Somehow, she hadn't expected his answer. It shed just enough light on their conversation for Eurydice to realize how little she really knew of Varin and his motives.

"I'm glad that you found a reason to live."

Then, Eurydice considered his question quietly.

"I've never wanted to die," she decided. Eurydice had taken lives because she'd been left with no other option. Because honor wasn't worth anything if she was dead.

A thought struck her. Would she kill Varin if it meant her survival? Their obvious gap in strength aside, of course. She'd tortured the smuggler Nefaron had strapped to the table, cutting out his tongue for her own life.

Would she had done the same if that had been Varin?

"I think I just want to live, more than anything."

Her fingers were slow to work the strap at his hand. They picked at the buckle until she managed to unlatch it, then slid the binding free.

Eurydice's brow pinched.

"I never wanted any of this, and it doesn't seem as though I can run," she confessed. "But I don't know how to be strong like you."

Varin Mortifer

 

[Varin Mortifer]

VARIN MORTIFER

Equipment: Durum Mantle | Black Blade of Chandrila | Eye of The Dragon | Heavy Sith Mace | Cross Guard Broadsaber

The strap loosened around his wrist allowing him to flex his fingers and relax the tendons that had tightened from being restrained in one position. His gaze fixed to hers as she spoke. Spoke of wanting to live and weakness. Varin's hand slowly came up and rested on her shoulder.

“There is a difference between strength and bravery, and foolishness. I tend to carry the foolish part often and disguise it as strength when in reality…”

His voice lowered as he leaned in a bit closer to her, his voice softening only for her to hear.

“I am terrified.”

He slowly leaned back to return her space before his voice came back once again.

“Not of death or pain, but failure.”

His hand slowly worked the strap on his other wrist.

Strength

“The kind of strength you seek is not one of powering through heavy objects. Inner strength is the foundation of outer strength. Without foundation and will, how can you gain?”

He paused, his gaze softening as he looked at where her arm used to be, thinking back to that time when that arm was locked into his when they first met. The conversations had, the time and moments shared.

“You're not a fighter, Eurydice. But you are a survivor. You just need to know what direction to face that strength that you do have. But you have to find it first.”

His eyes met hers, a softened sincerity reflected deeply within them.

“You have a lot more than you realise. Use that tool, for that is your strength.”

Eurydice​

 

[Eurydice]

The simple weight of Varin's hand on her shoulder was grounding in a way Eurydice had never experienced. Touch was not apart of her vocabulary.

Still, it felt both nice and overwhelming all at once.

Then, he clued her in on something she'd never thought possible: Varin was afraid.

On the surface, it didn't make sense. Someone as strong as Varin, who seemed so fearless when he charged into battle, was terrified of failure? Maybe the ability to move mountains would never be enough. Maybe that was the cruel lesson of the Sith, that none of them would ever be enough.

"I didn't know that I was supposed to find direction on my own," she confessed, lowering her head. "I thought that was what acolytes were used for. Tools for the Lords to point in whichever direction they needed us to."

At least, that was how it has felt with Nefaron. The Sith of the Covenant seemed…kinder. That made her wary. Kindness was so often sprinkled over ugly truths like a garnish.

What if Varin had a point, though? That she did have a measure of strength, but it took shape differently than his own.

Eurydice raised her head, meeting Varin's soft expression with something more somber.

"Who are you afraid of failing?"

Varin Mortifer

 

[Varin Mortifer]

VARIN MORTIFER

Equipment: Durum Mantle | Black Blade of Chandrila | Eye of The Dragon | Heavy Sith Mace | Cross Guard Broadsaber

He knew war when he saw it. And he could tell through Eurydice's expressions that she always had a war within herself. Fighting against her own nature, succumbing to fear. He could see it.

“Most Sith would never train you to find your own path. Most would rather keep you locked up until they are ready to use you. Because you have usefulness.”

He sat back in the chair.

“But whatever is useful to them, is also useful to you. While they use you as a tool, you can observe them. Learn them and find their strengths and their weaknesses. Eventually you will be able to exploit those weaknesses.”

Her next question hit him heavily. Something within his chest tightened as he thought about who he would fail.

And it wasn't just one person.

He took a deep rattled breath before he spoke.

“My people.”

The two words left him quietly, before he looked at her again.

“My family, my Master. My brothers in arms.”

Seren

The thought of failing Seren was one of the most shaking thoughts he had. Someone so close to him that very few people knew about her. And he kept it that way on purpose.

“Certain failures I can live with. Like when I am forging a weapon and it does not meet quality. But deep failure, true failure. That is death.”

Eurydice​