Star Wars Roleplay: Chaos

Register a free account today to become a member! Once signed in, you'll be able to participate on this site by adding your own topics and posts, as well as connect with other members through your own private inbox!

Approved Species Added Sub To Grancha Mutant Species: Azalas Gardo

Status
Not open for further replies.
zykJs2o.png


Credit: Google Images - Leviathan | Company: G.H Corporation
Development: Here
Leviathan.jpg


Name: Grancha Mutant: Azalas Gardo ( "Dangerous Guard" )
Designation: Semi-sentient
Homeworld: Ession
Language: Doesn't speak. Understands Basic
Average height of adults: 7 meters
Skin color: Dark Gray and Badge
Hair color: N/A
Breathes: Type 1 & Water, Salt or not.
Strengths:
[ + ] Physical Enhancements: The Mutants, down to a molecular level, are pumped up with physical enhancements. Their very cells are coated in a hyper-charged performance booster. This permits an enhanced physical conditioning. From endurance, to strength, durability and so forth. Meaning, they can issue out heavy damage and take it as well without toppling over.
[ + ] Stone-Coated: This race of Grancha Mutant's skin is coated in a thick, blue shell that mimic's stone in appearance. It spans across the mutant's entire exterior, small cracks spread across the shell to reveal portions of its Dark Gray and Badge thick flesh. This shell further increases the Leviathan's durability, requiring immense fire-power or destructive means to crack its shell and harm the beast. Mere light-saber slashes are more effective at wearing away its shell, however it would require constant hacking and slashing.

[ + ] Obedience: This species of Grancha Mutant are significantly more intelligent than the Specie's warrior class variant. Despite this, they have been produced and enhanced through a serum which nulls their ability to contemplate dis-obedience or thoughts pertaining to questioning or hesitating orders giving them. This making the massive, aquatic beasts mindlessly obedient and loyal to their designated master or owner.

[ + ] Poison Immunity: These beasts cannot die from radiation poisoning, or any other common forms of poisoning.

[ - ] Aquatic Limitations: This race of Grancha Mutant, though requiring air to sustain life, is limited to only being able to function properly in water. Without legs or means to walk or fly, they would become severely useless if brought out of water.

[ - ] Blind Obedience: Though they are more intelligent than Grancha Mutants of the warrior class, they have been mentally nulled to where the ability to contemplate dis-obedience and questioning orders simply doesn't exist. This making them mindless slaves that act upon ONLY the command of their master without hesitation.

[ - ] Slow: With the heavy casing of stone-like material covered about their skin, it makes for rigid movement. Turning takes unnecessarily long and thus allows time for enemies to flank it and fell the beast with ease. Beyond this, the hulking mass makes for slow movement. They are designed are head in one direction: Forward and charge.

[ - ] Mind Games: Being not as one-track minded as The Warrior Class of Grancha Mutants, they are immensely susceptible to mind-based force tricks. Their orders can be overridden with mastery level of force proficiency, and in turn can be persuaded to negate their allegiance to their current masters. However, constant manipulation and focus is required to control these beasts and should focus be withered, they will return to their original master's orders.

[ - ] Small Gullet: Sharing a trait from whales, these beasts are unable to swallow anything larger than plankton. Resulting in anything being crunched or mashed by its jaws being inevitably spat back out if larger than plankton.

[ - ] Sound Sensitivity: Due to its sharpened ability to pick up sound waves to commute, it inadvertently makes the monstrosity susceptible to becoming disoriented by high amounts of sound or sonic waves. Inside water, heavy explosions carry enough power to confuse the beast temporarily, and weaken its ability to carry out orders.

Distinctions: Their massive blue forms are what distinguish them as for as appearance goes. Even more so, their shell that mimic's the appearance of stone can make hard to distinguish from similar-looking rocks. Their eyes are a gleaming red, and the Leviathan has numerous limbs on the left and right side of its body. This gives the appearance of the creature having numerous dorsal fins, pelvic fins and pectoral fins and the like.

Average Lifespan: 10 Years
Races: Warrior Class, Leviathan Class ( Azalas Gardo )
Estimated Population: Common. Produced in a lab.
Diet: Small Fish & Plankton
Communication: Clicks, Whistles & Pulsed Calls
Culture: They are born in a lab, hyper-grown in a lab and taught in a lab until they are ready for shipment.
Technology level: Again..What's Below Horrible?
General behavior: Whatever their orders are.

History: Gene-spliced from B'rknaa & Ghorua's DNA, Grudge alongside his right hand: [member="Viru Lentus"] constructed a colossal, aquatic guardian of the seas. The abomination was developed in Grudge's lab on Ession as well as hyper-grown via a massive cloning vat. It's longevity was severely hindered to support such rapid growth. However, Grudge proceeded knowing this assuming the beast's short life-span would cause for customers to return for more! HA HA HHHAA-*cough* . Grudge's fear, upon many, is not being able to explore new land without hindrance. Aware of his current mutants inability to battle in water with ease, he took to creating a new class of mutants that could exactly that. Grudge's ultimate goal is to claim planets, land and power. Aware of certain planets bearing advanced under water life, this beast was created to ensure he alongside his army will be able to reach underwater civilizations without being entirely obliterated. These beasts growth were rushed by Grudge, and thus he discovered how rigid the beasts move when turning is involved. Hence forth, any plans to equip them with weapons were dismissed. They were instead classified as 'transportation', intended to get from Point A to Point B in or underwater.


Notable Player-Characters: None
Intent: The intent for this line of mutants is to provide Grudge with sea-units that essentially serve as guardians. Whether he sells them, or not, their main purpose is to guard the depths from their master's enemies.
 
[member="Grudge The Grutt"]


Okay, lets get down to business


[ - ] Aquatic Limitations: This race of Grancha Mutant, though requiring air to sustain life, is limited to only being able to function properly in water. Without legs or means to walk or fly, they would become severely useless if brought out of water.

[ - ] Blind Obedience: Though they are more intelligent than Grancha Mutants of the warrior class, they have been mentally nulled to where the ability to contemplate dis-obedience and questioning orders simply doesn't exist. This making them mindless slaves that act upon ONLY the command of their master without hesitation.

These really aren't weaknesses. Being an aquatic species, of course they need water. As for blind obedience, you also put this as a stregnth. Do you consider this a double edged sword? This sub needs balanced weaknesses because as it stands this creature is seriously overpowered.


  • You list the creatures as sentient. Are they self aware? To me these are semi-sentient , a great example is the Zillo Beast.
  • Link the Grancha Mutants in the Blind Obedience if you decide to keep it in your sub.
  • Your history needs to be fleshed out a little more for a sub of this type.
  • You say they can be fitted with harnesses to increase their offensive power. They already 1)can resist poison, 2)can resist lightsabers/blasters 3)take heavy damage with little effect . What else do they need. Why is this important to you to include?


As it stands this is going to require heavy edits to make it through. Its not a balanced species and many of the strengths concern me.
 
Judah Dashiell said:
[member="Grudge The Grutt"]



These really aren't weaknesses. Being an aquatic species, of course they need water. As for blind obedience, you also put this as a stregnth. Do you consider this a double edged sword? This sub needs balanced weaknesses because as it stands this creature is seriously overpowered.
>These really aren't weaknesses. Hi! I'm Grudge. And I'm confused. Be it obvious or not, the simple and rather blatant fact that this monstrosity can't function outside of water doesn't discredit it being a valid weakness. Who knows. Should I have not mentioned it and approved, and later be found flying this puppy outside of the sea and into the open galaxy---this app would be slammed into the denied section with the swiftness. So there you have it. The obvious is obvious....but it's obvious why it's there.


Judah Dashiell said:
[member="Grudge The Grutt"]

You list the creatures as sentient. Are they self aware? To me these are semi-sentient , a great example is the Zillo Beast.
Self aware? Vague. Do you mean self aware that they are being manipulated? No. Aware of if someone is wacking at them with a lightsaber or trying to shoot stun rounds inbetween the cracks of their armor to fall the beast? Yes. They can react, they function normally, just without the intelligence that would permit self-thought beyond "kill" -- "travel" -- "do this" -- "eat this" rudimentary things. Such as horribly stated on my part when talking about how the portions of their brain governing dis-obedience and questioning orders has been dulled immensely. I can adjust that description as you see fit.



Judah Dashiell said:
Link the Grancha Mutants in the Blind Obedience if you decide to keep it in your sub. Your history needs to be fleshed out a little more for a sub of this type. You say they can be fitted with harnesses to increase their offensive power. They already 1)can resist poison, 2)can resist

  1. Grancha Mutants app linked.
  2. Vague, again. By how much, good sir? A paragraph? Two? Either way, it can be arranged.
  3. It's not essentially. Merely a thought. I pondered the thought of them being used for seiges. Thus, weapons would make them more efficient. However, I'd hate to be the one known for using overpowered creatures. It's been removed.
[member="Judah Dashiell"]
 
[member="Grudge The Grutt"]


  • History : A paragraph or so longer is fine. I'd like to see more fleshing out on this. Why,what, when,where,how are good questions to ask yourself when writing this.
  • As for sentient category, I would choose semi-sentient or 'emerging sentient' is the term used in what I linked you in the Zillo Beast
  • I expect a water creature to live in water UNLESS stated, so this is not a real weakness. You may leave it in, but its still not balanced enough for approval. Like I mentioned before, these are quite powerful and two tiny weaknesses aren't going to cut it.
 
[member="Grudge The Grutt"]


Awesome. After consulting with some other CJs, its agreed upon this is till overpowered. One final weakness(a real weakness) should do it. If you're stuck on weaknesses, what about it being disorientated due to high sonic or sound waves. This would mean explosions in the water would cause it to get confused. Or explosions heard/felt through its body confuse it more.


The final weakness is up to you, but it has to be a real weakness and not some fluff in order to pass.
 
[member="Judah Dashiell"]

I added that weakness. It's true that I became abit stumped on what to include. Since they commute through clicks and whistles and rely on receiving them from long distances, it only makes since that their sensitivity to sound and sonic waves would make them confused by an overload of them: such as an explosion underwater. It will make siege a hassle, but I never intended to make an overpowered creature. I questioned time and time again if I should weaken its durability against lightsabers, but I atleast stated it takes numerous hacks and slashes to get through it instead of making it downright impenetrable. If this weakness still doesn't cut it, I'm willing to incorporate more to ensure to you and the SWRP community that I'm not about pushing out overpowered creatures just to get the upper hand.

Thanks for reading, and helping.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Users who are viewing this thread

Top Bottom