A Year Is A Long Time Passing

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

​

Kashyyyk - Midday - Rwookrrorro​

​

It had been quite a long time since Seraphina had landed in Republic space. Give or take a year. After abandoning the Jedi Order and the Republic over her unwavering internal struggle between the viability of continuing to fight against the Sith when the Republic could scarcely scrounge a capable army and unite their allies under a single banner when the Sith war machine came crashing down time after time, and the lack of support the Jedi could muster among even their own. Splintered factions of Jedi constantly sought their own way, believing the Code had become dated scripture for older days, which only served to further weaken their bonds, yet no-one seemed to notice. Sera's spirit had finally broken after the loss of Telti and the failed invasion of Ord Mirit. The straw that broke the bantha's back. The Twi'lek no longer believed she could be of service to the Jedi Order, not out of lack of faith in her fellow Jedi that remained behind, but out of dismay in the realization that the galaxy was slowly being overtaken by the Sith, and nothing short of a unified galaxy between the Silver Order, Mandalorians, and the smaller governments could truly stop them. Jedi were becoming an endangered breed like the days of the Clone Wars.

"Varus." Sera's mind wandered momentarily as her ship docked at the capital city of Rwookrrorro, home of the Wookies. She had fought against the Sith here before as well. It seemed this place was used to conflict between the two factions, having been a battlefield so many times in the past. The guilt she had sought to bury by fleeing without so much as a goodbye was beginning to resurface, and it made her feel nauseous. She cared for him, even still, and that made it no easier on her conscious regardless of the time passed. Had he searched for her? Had he simply moved on? She'd severed all contact with the Order, the council, and her friends that she had come to call family. It was simply better that way. Being a rogue, constantly on the move to avoid detection by bounty hunters and Sith alike, it was safer to renounce all contact than to risk endangering those she cared about by retaining any information that could possibly harm them, or herself. It was a necessary evil that she had taken seriously, despite the pain it caused in knowing she let the Order, and Varus, down again. Another broken promise. One she would likely live just long enough to regret.

[member="Varus Shatterstar"]

 

[Varus Shatterstar]

Rwookrrorro was big, and it had taken him a while to get there, but once he'd heard whispers of a pink Jedi taking residence in that Wookiee inhabited city he'd dropped what he was doing and come. In a little more than a day he'd made arrangements for flight, prepared his ship, stocked up, left Ossus and landed on Kashyyyk, not to mention he'd gone on a bit of a trek to get from the Space port to to Rwookrrorro, but he'd made it. He'd been cautious and traveled by foot from the port to the city, making sure that no one could give him away, seeing as Jedi weren't all too common to be along unless they were needed for political representation or times of unrest. There had been peace there, however, for quite some time, and he was traveling undercover. Tall, blue eyed men weren't easily missed, and he feared that one of those Wookiee might know Seraphina and warn her had they assumed that the Jedi had come for her.

So, when Varus landed at the port he took a long walk, which had taken a couple hours through the Shadowlands that the Wookiee had feared so much. Varus feared not these lands, however, knowing that if he lost control and let the darkness in, it would be his fault and his fault alone. The dark side was clearly there in the Shadowlands, but he'd trained within those very lands before, knowing the effects they could have on the mind, and whether or not he was afraid of what could happen, he still needed to be careful.

Reaching a clearing from the Shadowlands Varus stopped and raised his blue eyes to the trees above him. In the trees were hundreds of intricate homes and structures made completely of wood and bindings of leather and rope. They're been there for hundreds of years, holding strong with routine repairs being made every now and again, and they'd be there for hundreds more if all went right. It was that moment that Varus realized how right his informant had been, when sharing the location of a certain pink Jedi he'd been trying to hunt down for so long, and as he felt her he let his own walls down, his essence flowing out in all directions, overbearing and thick in the air.

She'd certainly sense him before long, but even if she didn't she would hear his whispers, as would the rest of the city who held open minds and hearts, though they wouldn't dare to answer his call, even if they could.

"Cowards slink through the night and thieves hide beneath hood and within shadow until they are exposed by light.", he whispered, his words carrying through the force and on the wind as it snapped this way and that around him, playing at the edges of his leather jacket while toying with a bit of his hair.

"Don't make me come up there..."

[member="Seraphina Shel'tah"]

 

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

The gusting breeze that passed through the large branches of the wroshyr tree brought a moderate sense of calm to the sprawling jungle world as the pink skinned Twi'lek sat lazily atop one of the vined limbs, eating a small melon she'd purchased from one of the vendors in the city center. She'd made a few friends amongst the clans during her time spent on the battlefield alongside them, as well as her numerous visits years prior. While she could count them as friends, she did her best to maintain limited visibility during the day, and always wore long, flowing robes to conceal herself.

A cold, crawling sensation began to creep through her body only moments into the enjoyment of the melon. As if the past were coming to life around her and pulling her into a void. The feeling made her cringe, having been away from, and avoiding other Force Sensitives for so long. It nearly felt alien to sense another, and one she could hardly claim ignorance to. The feeling followed by words in her mind, a voice she recognized all too well. They were sharp and direct, and without a doubt directed towards her.

"How did he find me?" She wondered to herself. She hesitated for a moment, contemplating a reply or to remain silent. If she answered, it would surely force her to face him. If not, she may still have the time to flee. He was beneath her in the shadowlands, after all. It would be a sure test of his physical ability to beat her to the starport from so far below.

Sera remained silent, ignoring his comments as she finished the melon. He may have found her, but that didn't mean she was going to reveal herself so openly. Slipping down from the branch the Twi'lek landed in a soft patch of moss beneath her perch, and began the trek from the large canopy down below, into the darkened forest of the Shadowlands. The rogue Jedi took her time in making her way to the floor of the jungle, keeping her mind closed off from any further intrusions, and to keep herself shrouded in the Force. She was far from ever being a shadow like Kian, but she had learned enough to make herself scarce to those who were searching.

When she finally reached the bottom, her head craned back and looked upwards from where she came before turning towards the darkened horizon. She knew Varus would find her soon enough, so she made little effort to wander far, instead choosing to sit, leaned up against the tree she had scaled from, waiting...

[member="Varus Shatterstar"]

 

[Varus Shatterstar]

She wasn't hiding anymore. She couldn't, which wasn't really to Varus' benefit any longer. He'd already tracked her down, the only question being whether or not she would make him actually have to catch her, or whether she would come to him willingly. That was a question she'd answered quickly enough, though, as she perched up against a tree in the middle of a clearing at the edge of the Shadowlands. She was about a hundred feet or so away from the boarder of the dark place that Varus had been waiting for her in, and as per usual, there was a steady mist seeping out from the trees like a silk weaving through the air. Infectious and intrusive and invading, yet as it reached out into the clearing it had no trees and no real life to cling to, and eventually it would dissipate into the air, unable to continue like a flower without the sun.

The fog seemed to wither the further out it reached, like a tree beginning to weep and sag in old age, which wasn't entirely uncommon to the typical plant life of the Shadowlands which she had been watching with careful eyes. That place was not at all stricken of moisture, but sunlight had been robbed of it long ago, and although the trees could cling to life with such physical sustenance, their lack of vibrant energy provided by the light would ensure their sad and pitiful appearances. Appearances that proved ominous and foreboding, like the white tendrils that slowly reached out towards Seraphina.

That's when she might have seen him. The moment just before she would become entranced by the sight of infinite uncertainty. The very second that the mind would become lost in the white lands beyond the black trees.

​

He emerged from the mist, his head down as he stepped out from the treeline, the same white fog he'd been walking in pouring out of his leather, flight jacket's hood. A hood that raised up as he rared back, his head lifting so that those brilliant blue eyes could pierce through the darkness of that heavy hood. Blue eyes that had never glowed as fiercely before. Blue eyes so bright that you could practically see the ice forming a frozen veil in front of him that very moment. Like they were frozen in place, amazed by what they had seen, but the moment they had realized what they were looking at, things changed.

Those brilliant blue orbs grew intense the very second the pink one had come into view, thin slats of skin closing across them as he narrowed his gaze at the Twi'Lek without a moment's hesitation. His hands clenched tight and the skin across the bridge of his nose folded, one ripple across the other as he drew on an unpleasant grimace. He then turned and began to scale the outskirts of the treeline one step at a time, blue eyes bearing down on the Rogue Jedi. Broad shoulders swayed back and forth as he kept silent, his mind growing mad with anger and resentment in those moments as he watched and waited for something to be said. After all that time, he hadn't figured that he should be the one to break the silence, although he already had the moment he'd arrived and sensed her presence there.

After all, that was why she had come...


[member="Seraphina Shel'tah"]

 

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

The Twi'lek's eyes remained shuttered for a few moments while she sat leaned against the bark of the Worshyr tree. She could sense Varus drawing nearer to her, his emotions were nearly palatable. The man harbored quite a bit of resentment and anger. In that aspect, nothing had really changed about Varus. He still possessed the raw emotion of the man she knew before. But was that quality something to be shed? He'd been one of the few who ever really frightened her with such emotional feedback. A hand slid to her side, as if to draw her weapon on natural instinct, a defense mechanism she had come to rely on during her time on the fringes of space. Still, she hesitated, halting her hand's course of action and instead placing it on the soft moss beneath her.

Her head remained facing her bent knees as her voice carried his name across the whispy tendrils that separated the space between him and her. "Varussss." She hung on the last letter of his name like a serpent and let the name linger in silence for a moment. "You're a long ways from home, my love."

How was it that she always ended up on this side of the fence with him? She'd always had the best of intentions, and yet no matter what it seemed that fate would conspire against her, and cascade things into such a disasterous mess. "You sure chose a brazen way of calling me out. Then again, you always were the type."

Her head lifted and she locked eyes with the man finally. She offered a solemn smile, and a gestured waive of her hand. "Come and sit with me?"

[member="Varus Shatterstar"]

 

[Varus Shatterstar]

"Your Love?", Varus questioned immediately, ignoring her suggestion that he should come and sit with her. He didn't want to have a tea party with the woman, and in fact, it was quite the opposite. He'd been burned by the woman and he was left raw by what she'd done. They'd shared something special, and before he'd known it she'd run away to hide carefully in a galaxy far too big for his or anyone else's good.

He was afraid, at first, that something horrible had happened to her. That she had been taken against her will or killed. He had been foolish enough to be concerned, but as the days of searching wore on he realized that the longer and harder he searched, the further away he would be lead from her. He appreciated that early on he'd found signs and heard whispers of her whereabouts, and so he knew she was alive and well, but she'd never lingered for long. Each time he'd gotten close she'd found out that she was being pursued by someone from her past, and each time she'd slipped away, deeper and further into the galaxy.

Rats were useful creatures, but their loose lips often times provided information to both parties. The more cunning would even provide false information to one party intentionally if paid well enough by the other. He had to assume that some of those more cunning rats he'd dealt with, and it had only hindered his pursuit, but he'd found her finally on the information passed along to him by a trusted informant he'd worked with before. A rat dressed like a man and functioning with the rest of society in broad daylight.

When he reached a certain point along the edge of the treeline he turned and slowly began to walk in the opposite direction. The treeline did not encircle Seraphina's comfortable little spot, and he wasn't done with her yet. In fact, he stepped out from the treeline and closed the gap between them with firm, powerful steps, stopping only when he was about ten yards away.

"Don't insult me with such false endearment.", he told her first, not appearing at all sarcastic or joking."You lost that right quite some time ago."

[member="Seraphina Shel'tah"]

 

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

"False?" She lifted both eyebrows to an honest question. "I believe I have the right to call you as I see fit, regardless of whether that feeling is reciprocal." Despite his advance, the Twi'lek remained sitting, simply choosing to lift her head to maintain eye contact as he drew nearer. She knew he had every right to be angry, upset, betrayed, and whatever else he was feeling, but what she knew he didn't understand, at least not now, was the true reasoning behind why he was feeling those things, why she had done what she did. The very reasons he was standing before her with such passionate anger was indeed her doing, but it was to protect him, and the rest of the Order from being placed into a bad position should something happen with or to her, or from them attempting to follow and convince her otherwise, or worse, join her in her departure.

"You believe I don't care, that I simply abandoned you for some malevolent reason?" She cocked her head slightly to the side and shook it momentarily. "Or do you believe that my departure from the Order was deeper than that? Sinister even. Perhaps I turned to the Dark Side?" Her eyes looked him up and down slowly. "Do you think that? Do you think that low of me?" Her tone was still the same soft, gentle voice she typically had, though slightly pained, knowing that despite her efforts to ensure the safety of those she cared about, she also caused them pain.

[member="Varus Shatterstar"]

 

[Varus Shatterstar]

Varus disagreed immediately with what the woman had to say first. He was not her love or her anything. They were just two people now, and nothing more to one another than past aquaintences. A fact that Varus would have preferred to forget. What she preferred to call him, however, wasn't his concern. She could call him whatever she liked, that didn't mean he was going to react to it the way she might have wished. That was why he wasn't going to dwell on such pointless things.

Instead he chose to listen and wait for her to say her bit, choosing to respond only when he'd had a few moments of silence. He couldn't help but to scoff at what she'd said last, however, actually huffing a frustrated laugh as he glanced away from her, raising one of his hands to pull back his hood and drop it to his broad back. His blue eyes watched the treeline in the distance for a moment longer as if he'd seen something before he cast those displeased eyes back across towards the Twi'Lek.

"You abandoned me alright, but whether or not it was for selfish reasons or reasons I'd prefer not to hear are beyond me. I wouldn't presume to know if you found a different play thing, got bored of your life and ran away from it or even decided to take a less appealing path of the force. I suppose I can't be surprised , though. Seeing as you vanished into thin air, and that was one of the last things I expected to happen.", he told her as he raised his broad arms back across his chest, watching her carefully as if she might very well dissipate into the air if he blinked.

"You left without a word, maybe you feared you'd be stopped or persuaded to make a different decision. You were selfish that day, though, and even a hundred days after that day, you offered no closure to anyone, whether or not reaching out to those you left behind would endanger you or aid in your capture. You may want everyone to think you've been running, but from what I've heard you've been living rather comfortably. Seems odd for someone who's giving up so much for those she cherished once upon a time.", he told her, laying on thick his opinion that she was helping no one and saving no one any more grief by leaving the way she did. Furthermore, her desire to be gone and remain unfound had driven him to distrust and almost hate her.

"I know better than to believe what liars and fugitives tell me."

[member="Seraphina Shel'tah"]

 

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

Sera listened to him scoff and lay into her over her actions. She gave him the time he needed to accuse her before she reached down to her pack, pulling out her datapad that she had kept on her since her departure and powering it up. As she waited the brief moment for it to spring to life she turned her attention back to Varus and sighed. "I may be many things, Varus Shatterstar; selfish? Yes. A fugitive? Depends on who you ask. But a liar and a harlot I am not."

The datapad finished loading and she turned her gaze towards it, tapping a few times on the screen as she navigated to what she was looking for. A holomessage that had been sent to Corvus, Kana, Kian, and the rest of the Jedi council on the day she left Ossus and the Order. A message that explained her departure, and even included a means of communication should they have had dire need of her.

To my fellow Jedi, friends, and family. Throughout my life my goal and drive has been to serve the Republic which watches over our great worlds. For as long as I remember, we've been at war with the Sith, and the darkness that refuses to relinquish its' grip on the galaxy. Our roads have been ever changing, and the life each of us lead is dangerous, yet rewarding in its' own unique way. Occasionally paths diverge, and converge, and again separate, but I like to think that in the end, each of us walk together on one road, one path, united. You are my family, my friends, my allies, and my home. That is the one constant I have come to rely on in my life.

So it comes with great thought that I state the following. As of now, I hereby relinquish myself and my duty from the Order, surrender all formal access to and of the Jedi holocrons, archives, and enclaves. I do so with sadness, though with the hope that I will still keep that one constant, that one beacon of light alive within each of you. Should you have need of me, I have no doubt the Force will grant you clarity to my whereabouts. Though if that not be true, I've included an encrypted comm channel within this message, for which you may reach me, if needed.

May the Force Be With You. - Seraphina Shel'tah

The Twi'lek lifted the datapad through the air and guided it towards him with a gesture of her hand, lightly floating the device to him to read for himself.

"You see, Varus? The council had means to contact me, if they truly needed me. I may have left without giving anyone the opportunity to say otherwise, to stop me, or to try and convince me otherwise, but the fact remains that there was a possibility, if it was necessary, to find me." The girl slowly stood from the mossy flora beneath her, brushing off her legs from the bit of undergrowth that clung loosely to her clothing before taking a couple of steps towards the Jedi master.

"Perhaps the council saw fit not to speak of this for their own reasons, or perhaps they understood that by attempting to make contact it may endanger other Jedi, the Order, myself, or everyone collectively. Regardless, I cannot control their decisions. I did what I did because I felt it was necessary. It was the safest measure for everyone, including and especially you. I didn't simply wake up and decide to abandon you. It wasn't easy, and it wasn't what I wanted, but it was the decision I had to make."

Sera turned for a moment and looked up towards the canopy of the Worshyr tree they stood beneath. Her right index finger raised and pointed upwards. "And as for your comment about living comfortably? I don't live here. I have a few friends that are still willing to risk everything to give me temporary asylum while I am on the move. I don't know where you get your information, but at least check your facts before painting me out to be something I'm not."

[member="Varus Shatterstar"]

 

[Varus Shatterstar]

No sooner had her datapad touched down into his palm did he clench his fist, crush it with ease and toss it back towards her, the crumpled bit of metal and plastic landing at her feet, bits and pieces of it scattering across the grass in all directions. A moment later Varus shook his head, those eyes still beaming through her as he thought of what to say to that, knowing he wanted to yell at her already, but realizing that he needed to keep his calm for the time being. He'd been patient for so long, and he wouldn't ruin this moment for anything.

"Where was my note?", he asked her, barking just a bit in frustration as he watched her, trying to gauge her reaction to what he had just done. "Where was my message?", he asked again, wanting to know just exactly where he'd fit in to all of this, though he had always assumed the worst for so long he wouldn't have believed anything else. She had abandoned him without a second's hesitation, and without a single word of sorry or explanation having left her pretty mouth.

"The Council doesn't just share things like this, and I was never a part of their collective. I'm not wise or knowledgeable like they are. I'm not half politician and half monk like the lot of them. You KNEW that!", he said, barking at her again as he clenched his fists tight, taking one step towards her as every muscle in his body seized up tight, the emotions of his words sinking in during those moments. "I didn't get a damn thing. Just a couple of memories coupled with a rather persistent and reoccurring burn.", he told her, his voice calming down a bit, though he still appeared incredibly aggressive.

"Interesting how easily someone can forget you, I suppose. I found that bit out the hard way, but I assume that the one doing the forgetting wouldn't really know anything about that."

[member="Seraphina Shel'tah"]

 

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

Sera watched as he violently ended the life of her datapad. Rude. Still, she remained motionless and lucid. "If I left you a note Varus, you'd have found me. You'd have used that comm to track me down and you would have found me. I didn't want you to try and stop me, and I know you well enough that it is precisely what you'd have done. Yes, I knew they wouldn't share that information. And yes, I was relatively certain that they wouldn't attempt to contact me, but I still left that up to them. They are the council for a reason, to make decisions that best serve and protect the Order."

She shook her head as her eyes rolled, she knew this was how this discussion would go, with him throwing himself into a tiraid about what a terrible thing she was.

"Look Varus, I didn't just forget you. Not everything is just black and white like you see it. There is a lot of grey to be seen. This was a decision that had to be made. And if you hate me so much for making the most difficult decision of my life, then I suppose there is no purpose in me apologizing to you as it clearly means nothing. Stop painting yourself the victim. I chose what I thought was right given the circumstances. I know well that I hurt you in making that decision, but it wasn't any less painful for me, so stop accusing me of being some heartless villain."

The Twi'lek knelt down, quietly collecting the pieces of her broken datapad from the dirt as she focused herself on maintaining her composure. The only piece of personal belonging that she really had that held any memories for her was now a crumbled mess of chips and glass. Family photos and recordings, important entries about her travels, places she wanted to visit, all stored on the memory chip. All she could hope for was that it was now at least salvageable. She drew a deep, double-paced, almost stuttered breath.

[member="Varus Shatterstar"]

 

[Varus Shatterstar]

"You're not a Villain.", Varus said, his lips sealing and displaying a bit of a frown as he continued to stare the woman down, clear frustration written on his face as he watched her collect the pieces of her datapad that he had just crushed. He didn't care that he'd broken her toy, seeing as she'd been rather disobedient. She hadn't deserved it, in his opinion, but that wasn't his decision to make. He certainly held no dominion over her and clearly he wasn't to be considered when she made decisions.

Dropping his hands to his sides he turned away from Seraphina and took a few steps away from her, presenting a less aggressive stance simply by distancing himself and facing away from her. "I am no Victim.", he then said as his eyes scanned the fog ridden treeline, wondering whether or not he would have preferred not to even come and find her. The second he thought that, however, he realized how wrong he was to even entertain it. He needed this, seeing as Sera had offered him no closure, which was something that he had believed that he had deserved. "You're just a coward, and I've played the part of fool.", he told her, paying no mind to her feelings. He didn't care if he hurt her at this point, knowing that she'd done damage to him that he would never fully let go of.

"You say you left for a reason.", he then said to her, knowing that whatever her reason was, it was likely going to be something of a joke. Something that he wouldn't be able to respect with any form of validity. "I assume the worst, certainly. I don't think you've got a good reason, but perhaps I'm wrong. That doesn't change what's happened, however.", he said as he turned and glanced over his shoulder at her with those frozen eyes. "That doesn't change the fact that for the better of a year I searched for you high and low, in every nook and cranny I knew to look in this galaxy. I looked for you every day, not knowing if you were dead or alive. Not knowing if you had been captured or imprisoned. If you were being tortured or abused. If you were playing hide and seek or running from someone else. I didn't even know if you'd fled your previous life to start a family of your own or become a prostitute in the dregs of society on some backwater planet.", he told her, turning a bit so that he could see her just a bit better.

"I didn't know... anything. So piss on your reason.", he said, spitting on the ground next to him as his frustrations again burned in his chest, his heart throbbing a bit faster.

[member="Seraphina Shel'tah"]

 

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

The Twi'lek listened to him ramble on about how he had spent so much time looking for her, as if she were his property to be tracked, assessed and accounted for; every decision scrutinized and every action judged. His condemnation of her and why she left stung, but it also angered her. Had he only the intent to have this meeting to belittle her, and satisfy his desire to tear her down? Was there any reason she was still kneeling down on the ground, broken datapad pieces in hand, looking at him with an empty, sullen look? What exactly did he want? To tell her she was the worst thing in the galaxy and then strut away, content with himself for breaking her down?

"You're petty." She said, looking up at him as she tucked what was left of the small electronic into her bag. "And possessive." She slowly lifted her left leg from where she knelt to stand up. "You've always been so angry with the galaxy." Sera knew she was staring down a road that would instigate him. But he had broken something invaluable to her, and her own temper had flickered deep inside her. "You could never control yourself, but you want to control me?" Her hands crossed each other, tucking beneath her armpits in a defiant position. "You want my reason? It won't live up to your standards, Master Jedi, but I will give you it, so that you can continue to ride your high horse and tell me what a schutta I am in your eyes."

Right about now the self-conscious inside her mind was practically screaming at her to shut her mouth, but there was a disconnect, and her own temper had taken the wheel. She cared about him, a lot more than either she or he knew at that moment, but she simply couldn't stop her mouth from continuing.

"Your Republic will fall." Probably not the best way to start your speech, Sera. "The Sith are stampeding across the galaxy entirely unchecked. The Republic fails at every battle, every skirmish. One by one planets go dark. The Order is falling apart, with splinter groups appearing left and right with each batch of defected Jedi. None of you can stop them." She dropped her hands to her sides and shrugged. "I finally realized this."

That would likely elicit a flared response, but yet she continued anyway. Her reason was buried inside this speech, but the delivery of it was not going to please the Jedi that stood before her.

"The Republic has become complacent. Content to allow the Sith to overrun every inch of its' territory unchecked. They cannot maintain alliances with the Mandalorians, and they've alienated any other governments that may have rallied to their cause. Meanwhile the Jedi cannot even muster the numbers to challenge them. Until the galaxy unites in favor of destroying the One Sith, we'll never see Coruscant again. I'm not dying for a Republic that refuses to help itself. I won't lay my life on the line for a government that is so complacent in its' fate that it won't reach out to mend relationships with neighbors."

The Twi'lek narrowed her eyes and glared intently at Varus. "And you're a fool to believe otherwise, to follow so blindly while carrying that chip on your shoulder like you're better than me."

Her hands extended from down by her sides to mid-waist height. "What do you want from me Varus? I knew from the moment I carried that belief that I was no longer a Jedi. I no longer belonged to the Order, nor did I belong residing in the Republic's space. I had to leave. It was a burden for nobody else but myself. I knew you wouldn't understand what I felt, and I was right. That's why I didn't tell you I was leaving. It doesn't matter what my reason was though, just like you said, piss on my reason."

[member="Varus Shatterstar"]

 

[Varus Shatterstar]

Varus took a deep breath as his eyes slanted to a close, turning away from Seraphina so that she wouldn't be able to see the anger on his face as he seethed in that moment. It was hard to keep silent as she spoke out, painting her ridiculous little abstract picture to try and make sense of her reasons for abandoning not just the Republic that she'd lost faith in, but her fellow Jedi and him. He actually shuddered as he exhaled his breath, a flutter of mist bursting from thinned lips as the air was moist and cool. His heart raced faster every second as his blood ran hot and his patience left him, and he realized in that moment how long it had been since he'd felt anything like this. For a moment, even, he felt like a Dark sider. He felt that influence all too openly as rage entered his heart, and before he knew it he had lashed out at Seraphina in a way that he had never done to anyone before her.

"AND SO YOU RUN!?", he yelled at her, his deep voice carrying with the force as it boomed from his chest and dissipated over the clearing before finally becoming lost in the mist and dark trees behind him. He turned his head back over his shoulder, his body following suit as he slowly repositioned in order to face her, his thick chest heaving in deep, slow breaths as he began to walk towards her, one step at a time until he was standing just one step away, towering over her with narrowed eyes piercing down into her, clenched fists cracking as his heart throbbed.

"You don't agree with the way things are going so you just check out?", he asked her amidst clenched teeth as his jaw muscles rippled. "You were better than that.", he told her, barking a bit again with vigorous tones as his arms and legs tightened up. His boots dug into the earth beneath him, tearing into the grass and grinding into the mud as he continued on his rant.

"I've always had my problems with the way the Republic handles their business. I've even been on the opposite side of the lines they've drawn in the sand a time or two. Broken laws and paid the price as a younger man before I was drawn into their mess by Kian. Many Jedi have come to odds with the Republic. Great Jedi have disagreed and argued with their Politicians. The difference with them was that they didn't run and hide when it got tough! They didn't choose to flee and remain silent! They stood for their beliefs and sought change!", he yelled at her again.

"This isn't about you and me, whether or not I'd like it to be! You wasted my time, and for that I want to hate you, but the worst part is that you lost your faith! You lost the heart I fell in love with years ago!", he told her, eyes shaking as he felt the same deep and stinging cut in his guy the moment he'd realized she had run away from him over a year before.

[member="Seraphina Shel'tah"]

 

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

Oh? So now he wanted to turn this into a shouting match? To scream at her as if she were seven years old again? The only time she'd ever been yelled at in such a manner was by her parents, well over twenty years ago. Who the kark did he think he was to get up in her face like this and look down his nose at her? Intimidating as he was as he stood over her she didn't let it show, instead choosing to raise her voice to match his, her eyes raising though her head remained still, lifting only just enough for her pupils to stare directly into his for a moment, for immediately after her hands reached forward and shoved him away from her.

"I didn't run! I left! Unlike you I never chose to become a Jedi. I was given away! I was nothing but a child!" She drew in a deep stuttered breath. "I served the Republic blindly for years Varus! Everything and more I gave them and what do they do for the Order in return?! They try and pass laws through the Senate that would require us to be tagged and tracked like we are some kind of kenneled attack dogs to be used whenever they see fit! But I guess you don't see a problem with any of that, huh? You simply choose to keep your disagreement quiet and do as your told like a good boy, right? I guess I wasn't a great Jedi, but I never claimed to be, either!"

She took a few steps forward and pushed him again, her body was acting on its' own, despite wanting this conversation to somehow change for the better, she continued down the path she had started.

"I have faith that the galaxy will right itself in due time, but not that it will come from the Republic! I've just chosen to walk a different path to that end. But if this isn't about you and I then why did you come here Varus? Why?!" She took another step towards him, as if to shove him again, but instead stopped and just stared, holding back everything she wanted to say, everything she really felt, forcing back the sting of tears from showing on her face.

[member="Varus Shatterstar"]

 

[Varus Shatterstar]

Varus stared down at the woman for a moment, about to say something when she pushed him, which caught him a bit off guard, but the thick Jedi was only moved just a step back. When he was pushed, though, he sighed, rolling his head to the side as if to say, "really?", before she pushed him once more, taking another step back as she got aggressive. That was when he rolled his eyes and said, "It's like I'm being attacked by a kitten.", which he knew would only make her more angry, but he didn't care. He wasn't afraid to hurt her feelings, just like she wasn't afraid to hurt his.

"I never even knew where I came from, Sera. I came from beneath leaky, cracked ceilings and a bed much to small for a boy as big as I was. I was overlooked by families, time and time again, until I was already growing into a man, and then I was found by a modest living mechanic who saw something more in me than I saw.", he told her, eyes shifting away as he thought of Jarrek. A man who'd owed him nothing, but gave to him everything he'd needed to make something of himself at have a shot at a life away from poverty and despair.

"I may not be the best example of a Jedi, but I'm loyal to my cause, and without conforming to the rules. There's no collar on me, and there never will be. What you seemed to forget, though, was that the Council knew that. They kept things like that from happening. They weren't pawns, and they sure as hell weren't about to allow our students of the force to become anything close to that.", he told her, and in the next moment he stopped and stood his ground, shifting so that he was staring right back at her, those icy eyes only inches above her pink face.

"It may have been for me at first, all of this...", he whispered, illustrating that his seeking her out had been out of concern and worry in the beginning. "...but when I found out that you had run away and weren't taken, it became something different.", he told her as his eyes narrowed.

"I'm here to collect a Defector."

[member="Seraphina Shel'tah"]

 

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

The woman ignored his humorless jab towards her attempts to shove him. It wasn't as if she was trying to actually throw him off his feet, no, it was more simply a muscle reaction that she made those pushes towards him. Her eyes glared at his, she knew what she was about to say might set him off, but still she said it anyway with a low, whispered, almost disgusted tone. "I don't know what Kian saw in you, but he should have left you where he found you." Taking a step backward toward the Worshyr tree she wrinkled her nose at him.

"The tightest collars are the ones you cannot even see. You think you're free, that you choose what you do? You're not free. You follow the rules of the Republic, and you'll die for a cause that is already lost. I suppose Master Yoda, Kenobi, and all of the others who survived centuries ago when the Republic fell were cowards for exiling themselves? There's no value in fighting a lost cause Varus, but you're too blind to see that the Republic is about to collapse and there's nothing that you, or the Order can do to stop it."

As he got closer again and whispered his threat into her ear her jaw shifted, cracking slightly as she gnashed her teeth. So that was how he wanted this to go? Her hands shook for a moment in angered frustration, clenching tightly. Her words were cold, sharp, and direct, reminiscent of a fight written in the history books from days long since past.

"You will try."

With a sudden jolt the Twi'lek leaped back a few meters, her feet landing on the moist soil beneath her. Her left hand pulled the robe she had been wearing off, revealing the under-armor she typically wore. Her hands moved to either side of her hips, grasping her twin sabers as her fingers slowly rolled over the igniter switches, springing to life her signature green and purple hues. The area surrounding her illuminated in a flourescant cascade of color, bringing to life the darkened forest that encapsulated the two as they stood facing one another. She didn't want to fight him, but she wasn't some rat to be brought back in chains either. She'd never killed a Jedi before, but would that have to change to save herself and her freedom?

[member="Varus Shatterstar"]

 

[Varus Shatterstar]

For a long time, even after Seraphina had begun preparing to defend herself, Varus stood there, an almost befuddled look upon her face as he watched her movements and studied her actions. He'd even noted the almost hateful look upon her face that she'd managed to muster for him and thought, could she really have felt that way? Had he meant nothing to her from the start? Was she just something fun to play with while she wasted her time playing hero with the Jedi? How could she have said such a thing?

"I don't know what Kian saw in you, but he should have left you where he found you."​

It stung him to the core, even thinking back on the words and not having heard them. Just feeling them sink into the back of his mind, causing his thoughts to fester and decay into anger and frustration. He was letting this woman force him to feel things that Jedi weren't supposed to feel, and that was because she had broken his heart, left the pieces scattered, and even now when he'd managed to reassemble it with scotch tape and glue, she was stomping on his pathetic attempts. Attempts which he knew were all for naught, but attempts to piece himself back together none the less. Attempts to look back and become even a shadow of his former self before he'd become a Jedi.

He'd replaced a genuine smile, a hearty laugh, an air of confidence and the willingness to make mistakes and be young with nothing but coldness, mind numbing calculation and a drive to be this Jedi powerhouse that knew no end. He'd lost his playfulness and cheer some time long ago, the remnants of it being stolen by Sera herself before she'd slipped away into a darkened corner of the galaxy, and now he was some broken, frayed thing that no one wanted. He was angry, felt lied to, had been burned and was alone, and no matter how much control of himself he wanted to believe that he had, he knew she was right. The Republic had been calling his shots for a long time before he himself vanished and went on a more than year long search looking for her when everyone had told him to give up on her. Let her fade away.

"You really think that...", Varus finally said as he pulled his jacket off of his shoulders and peeled it off. He then draped it over one arm and plucked either of his sabers off of his belt with his free hand before bundling them all up and tossing them a few feet away to land on the moist grass. "They all told me I should have given up on you.", he finally told her, those icy blues watching her, though his gaze wasn't as angry and resentful as it had been. "Now I'm sorry I didn't..."

His words, however, were not designed to cut. Not this time.

"...for both our sakes."

The silence was deafening for a time, broken only when Varus took one step, and then another, the moist earth whispering gently with each step as he advanced towards the Pink Twi'Lek

https://soundcloud.com/labelgum/woodkid-iron-1​

[member="Seraphina Shel'tah"]

 

[Seraphina Shel'tah]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QUwxKWT6m7U​

The woman standing before Varus simply stared at him. Heavy breaths breaching the silence every few seconds. She hadn't meant what she said. Varus was a far better Jedi, always had been. She'd been known for disobeying direct orders since she was a youngling at the temple. She'd been the reason her first master was killed. Was she partly responsible for Kana's defection to the Sith? That she wasn't sure of, and may never know the answer to. The girl was gifted in the Force, moreso than some others, but that didn't make a good Jedi, it made a good weapon, a perfect tool, nothing more. Sera used it well to her advantage and to survive on the fringes of space as long as she had.

Green eyes followed Varus' jacket and sabers as they were throw to the ground. He wasn't going to fight her? It almost made her want to scream at him. What did he want!? Her hands shook in frustration. As he took a few steps closer towards her, a groan of anger followed her right arm as she hurled her purple saber straight towards him, an invisible hand directing the blade into the tree just aside of his body before it could potentially harm him, the crackling of the Worshyr bark being carved by the weapon making the only audible sounds.

When the Twi'lek spoke, her voice was quiet, almost hushed. "I'm not going back, Varus. Not to the Order. Not to the Republic. I'm sorry, it was the only way."

Looking down, she released the activator on her second weapon and replaced it on her side, though took a hesitant step back from him as he moved closer, still unsure as to what he planned. She couldn't fight him, not with a lightsaber anyway. She wouldn't kill him. She didn't have it in her to do so, regardless of being a Jedi, or former Jedi, or whatever she was now. And now he'd know that as well. So there she stood, her mind briefly returning to past memories.

[member="Varus Shatterstar"]

 

[Varus Shatterstar]

Varus stopped suddenly as the saber spun past him and struck the tree a little ways behind him. He was surprised by it, and stunned for just a moment, eyes narrowing as he glanced back at the tree behind him with a purple colored saver protruding from it that might have been meant for him had Sera not thought better of her foolish actions. The fact that she'd chosen not to hurt him hadn't pleased him, though, irritated that she'd ever thought to try and do such a thing to him to begin with.

Turning back around, Varus displayed a more and more displeased look as he clutched his fists together, angry that she'd even thought that maiming him was an option. That was why he didn't hesitate for a moment to continue their little dance, seeing as she'd taken the first true step by almost looping off his arm or pinning him to a nearby tree. That was what was going to make this easier for him, whether or not he'd wanted it to be.

"Clearly you're not sorry for a damn thing!", he yelled at the woman, and not a second later he opened his left hand and swept it from left to right, the force reacting immediately and sweeping at Sera's legs in order to knock her off of her feet and suspend her above the ground. He then threw his right arm forwards with such power and vigor that a visible whisp of both force energy and mist from the fog rushed out towards the Twi'Lek, intent on striking her in the gut and throwing her through the marshlands and into the tree she'd been next to. And again, he began walking towards her, angrier than he'd ever been at her before.

[member="Seraphina Shel'tah"]