Private A Vox in the Void

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

Recipient: Perl, Nida
Topic: The War is Over

Hey, Pinky.

It's done. It's finally over.

The last Bryn stronghold fell last night. Their spawning grounds were bombed wide open, followed by waves of ground infantry sent to wipe out the final resistance before incinerating what remained, all while our fleet took down any ship attempting to escape. We have victory, but it has taken me this long to sit down and record this message. It still hasn't sunk in.

The boys feel the same as I do. We're all the same — species, planet of origin, background... We're all the same. When victory was declared late last night, no cheers filled the corridors or the mess hall. There were no celebrations other than the occasional pat on the back or handshake. Most just slumped back when we heard the news, unable to grasp what we'd achieved. People are still in shock, rendered catatonic by the overwhelming numbness.

Then came the emotional outpour of grief. Tears held back for so long over the countless dead and the horrors we've seen. The terrible things we've had to do. The monsters we had to become to match our enemy. Only now, in the end, do we realise the toll it's taken on our souls. Some of us can never go back to the people we were. We wear our scars proudly, but some scars cannot be seen.

The Bloody 88th has seen 978 standard days of combat since our formation after Sev Tok. We've sustained 11,709 casualties with only 44 original members still serving. As their commanding officer, I will never forgive myself for the fact that so many men died and I didn't. I'd gladly trade places with any one of them. I want to crawl into the earth and embrace each one.

But then I look down at the ring on my finger and remind myself of the promise of us. Some nights it's all that's kept me going. Now that the war is over, we can finally be together. Get married, and have a bunch of little pink ones running around. I want to visit Zeltros and walk its endless beaches barefoot with you.

I don't want to pick up a rifle ever again.

We're having a grand memorial for all those we lost throughout the war once we get back to Kashyyyk. Perhaps I'll see you there?

I love you, Nida. Stay safe for me. We're almost home.

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

Recipient: Perl, Nida
Topic: Homecoming

I looked for you at the memorial. It was... quite something. I'm sure you had your reasons.

It's been a week since the end of the war was declared, and we reached Kashyyyk two days ago. It was strange seeing it again. Everything here looks and feels the same — it is we who have changed. We must have been quite the sight, returning home after years of hard fighting, wearing beat-up armour and carrying worn-out rifles.

We were given a wide berth as we stepped off the shuttles, our reputation having preceded us. We didn't mind; the Bloody 88th has always embraced our notoriety. No other unit can boast the same slew of victories as us.

No other unit has suffered the same as us.

Our homecoming has not been without issues, however. That same night there were many reports of drunk and disorderly behaviour. It's to be expected when offered luxuries such as hard liquor after such a harrowing experience, so I will not mark it on their records. These are good and decent folk whose names I know as well as my own. I will not tarnish their reputations on account of a few broken bottles and smashed windows.

It's late. I should try and get some rest.

I'll keep an eye towards the skies in case you're on your way. Two eyes, if I can spare both.

Hope to see you soon.

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

Recipient: Perl, Nida
Topic: I Miss You

Hey, me again. Sorry for the slew of messages. Talking to you has always helped, even if you can't answer back.

I went down to the hospital today. Brought the guitar to try and cheer up the guys, but I snapped one of the damn strings. Turns out years-old strings don't mix well with mechanical thumbs. I'll get it fixed for your return, I know how you love to be serenaded.

Anyway, hospital.

It was awful. Awful and beautiful at the same time. Hundreds of the bravest men and women I know, bedridden and lined up on either side of the ward — some of whom were so mangled even I didn't recognise them. Each one had the Concord Star pinned to their gowns or bandages. Some were happily fraternising; talking smack, getting rowdy, you know how soldiers are. Others isolated themselves, too broken to seek interaction with their comrades. They're like ghosts.

And yet, whenever I step into the room, they all try and sit up straight and offer their best salute. Even those missing entire limbs, for Helm's sake. Every time I tell them not to bother, but they keep insisting. They're the finest people I know, and it breaks my heart to see them like this.

A few receive visits from relatives. Many don't have families as their homeworlds were razed during the war. Most are too young to have even met someone. All they've known their entire adult life is blood and carnage. I was lucky enough to have found you before enlisting.

I do my best to talk to them, but it's difficult when you're a fellow soldier. Instead of airing out your pain, you just sort of sit there looking knowingly at each other. You already know the pain they feel because you've shared in it, so what's the use in talking about it? Even I can't seem to find the right words to describe the horrors we've lived through. I'm their big brother, though. I have to try, for them.

I wish you were here. You're far better at soothing the minds of broken men. You've had lots of practice, after all.

I'm a blunt instrument. All I know is how to harm people. You're the healer.

I miss you.

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

Recipient: Perl, Nida
Topic: Something's Up

Sorry for having been MIA. A lot's been going on lately, and none of it's good.

People in other battalions are being laid off. Good people I've known since the old days are being retired, relocated, or honourably discharged before their time. Officers, NCOs, enlisted men... Hell, even hardware is being decommissioned. I passed by Logistics last week and they were in the process of packing up an entire warehouse's worth of munitions.

So far, the 88th remains intact. I caught a lieutenant attempting to seize one of our tanks the other day and I let him have it before sending him back to Command with his tail between his legs. Gutsy Gloria deserves better for her years of service protecting my boys.

I've tried to get a word in with Ranger Command but they've been stonewalling me. My guess is they're looking to downsize now that the war is over, the bastards. It's only a matter of time before they come for Jaeger Battalion.

I won't let them take my boys. They've fought too hard and bled too much to be treated that way — to be cut, unceremoniously, from all they know and love. I'll do everything in my power, call in any favour I'm owed, to keep my battalion together.

Forgive me if you don't hear from me for some time. Things might get hectic.

I love you.

 

[Thirdas Heavenshield]

Recipient: Perl, Nida
Topic: Going Dark

This will be my last message on this account.

I've done all I can. I've held off the inevitable for as long as I could, but there is nothing more I can do. The Bloody 88th, whose origins trace back to the critical last stand at Sev Tok, and whose courage and relentlessness pushed back a galactic threat until it was wiped out, is officially disbanded. Our enemies did not deal our death blow, but rather those we've bled and died for all these years.

Concord, in their great wisdom, believes the Antarian Rangers — an organisation that has served the people of this galaxy dutifully and honourably since the days of my father — are no longer needed. They see us as mere assets to be disposed of when no longer of use as if there are no more wars to be fought.

And Ranger Command just stands there and lets it happen. They offered me a cushy desk job, but I refused. My boys did not get that luxury, and I have never taken for myself what I could not share with my men.

No.

I've been forced to make a terrifying choice, yet also the easiest choice I've ever made.

I am a Ranger no more, but my fight is not over. I've seen what major factions think of us grunts who do the heavy lifting, and I will serve their ilk no longer. No one will tell me where to go or decide where I am needed ever again. I am a jaeger; a hunter of beasts, and there are plenty of beasts in need of slaying. I do so now under no flag but that of duty to a thankless galaxy.

Nida, if you're receiving this: Do not look for me on Kashyyyk, and do not look for me on Midvinter. You are my home, and one day I will find you.

Until that day, I will be a nightmare unto nightmares. I will strike fear into the fearless. I will be the instrument of the forgotten, the voiceless, and the unheard. Until that day, you will be my fount of strength, my source of courage, and my beacon of hope.

May the Force be with you, my love.

P.S. I kept your collection of horror classics. We still have a few to go through. I'll be waiting.