A tale of Hutts and Pimps (Named Magoo)

[Johari the Hutt]

With the Hutt hold on Nal Hutta crumbling to the Red Ravens, and the family members that had stopped him from suceeding gone from a tragic bombing on the Winter Palace bu the same Red Ravens (Nal Hutta Dominion) Johari was again able to focus on the mining business he had hoped to boost his riches enough to rekindle his smuggling operations. However, for that he would need investors. The cleaner investors, those rich that didn't happen to have their various apendages in an illegal pie or two, refused to do buisness iwth someone who had been in Republic prison, however. And the less legal ones refused to do buisness with soemone who had been caught. Therefore, he was left with very, very, few options... WHich is what eventually possesed him to contact a potential investor- very rich, and possibly interested in a mining buisness... Anyone could tell Johari was getting desperate when trying to get money from a man named [member=A Pimp Named Magoo].

 

[Magoo]

I am on my way to see a Hutt for a business negotiation. I have never dealt with the creatures before, but I know that they can be pretty ruthless when it came to business. However, this Hutt seems more desperate than ruthless. He contacted me on APimpNamedMagooNet, my own personal holonet hub for investing. You see, the pimp's code requires me to share my riches with others; I like to think of myself as a bit of a philanthropist. I lend my massive stacks of cash to the less fortunate, and in return they give me a cut of the profits when they get rich. I had promised this Hutt I would meet him and discuss the nature of my investment.

"A Pimp Named Magoo, we are exiting hyperspace," my captain Spiced Water tells me. She can fly almost as well as she can sell. Since she is my favorite, I let her pilot the ship. I can see Nal Hutta in the distance, all rotten and slimy. I've been worse places than this to help young men get money, and I don't let the condition of a planet interfere with my philanthropy.

We break the atmosphere of Nal Hutta, heading for the co-ordinates that [member="Johari the Hutt"] gave us. The Swaggin Wagon blares my music at top volume as we cruise through the atmosphere, Spiced Water keepin us at a steady pace as we loop down to the surface. She sticks the landing perfectly, and I gather her and Sweet Mercy into my arms as I step out. As usual, green smoke explodes from the Swaggin Wagon as I step out, my pimp walk tuned to a perfection. I approach the Hutt with my two girls at hand and offer my hand to shake.

 

[Johari the Hutt]

Johari the Hutt gave a wide smile, stretching his lipless mouth as if someone grabbed each end and pulled, and he raised a large slimy hand to shake [member="A Pimp Named Magoo"]'s. A larger personal shuttle, multiple servants (or slaves, perhaps?), and very expensive-looking clothes... The man was certainly rich enough to loan. Eccentric, perhaps, but rich. "Good to meet you, Magoo." The Hutt spoke, not yet knowing the error of his words. "I am Johari."

 

[Magoo]

Did he just say what I think he did? Did this slug just call me "Magoo"? Hold up: if there one thing I cannot stand in this great wide galaxy, it is when somebody calls me "Magoo". That is the highest form of disrepect to me, my girls, and my ancestors. My pimpslappin hand itches as I tighten my grip on Spice Water. My pimp-rage boils inside me like a wampa stew. However, this is a business deal, and slappin my associate would not be a good way to start things off.

"Look, my name is not 'Magoo,'" I say. "It is A Pimp Named Magoo. You have to say the whole thing. Why do you think it's APimpNamedMagooNet, not MagooNet? Callin me 'Magoo' is disrespectful to me, my ancestors, and every pimp in this galaxy. So, I hope you can see the errors of your ways, because as a generous and kind pimp, I find it in my heart to forgive you."

Now, I was ready to tall business again. This [member="Johari the Hutt"] seems to have a good sense of what he is doing, which gives me confidence for heading into this deal

 

[Johari the Hutt]

Johari blinked a few times as [member="A Pimp Named Magoo"] started his small rant. His name was actually A Pimp Named Magoo? He had thought Magoo.net was just taken... It was going to get tiresome saying A Pimp Named Magoo every time... "Ah, right.... My apologies. Do you have a surname?" Though he was.... interesitng... hopefully A Pimp Named Magoo would be the investor he needed.

 

[Magoo]

"Nope. It's just A Pimp Named Magoo. If you get tired of sayin' it, think of it as exercise for your tongue," I say. My girls nod their heads in unison at my wise words of pimp wisdom. The Hutt will have to get used to it. My name is A Pimp Named Magoo, and that is the way it will always be. I shift my pose a little, resting one hand on my pimp cane as one of my girls goes back to her ship.

"Now, let's talk business. About how much is your company worth? I will need to know in order to make a reasonable bid and estimate," I say, wavin my hand through the air as I speak. Spiced Water clings to me a little harder, obviously afraid and slightly disgusted by the Hutt. I see no problem with him, after all he doesn't try to slime all over you. Hutts are sentient species too, and therefore they are customers. And if Spiced Water wants to make my money, she better get used to Hutts real soon.


[member="Johari the Hutt"]

 

[Johari the Hutt]

Johari blinked again. Who named their child A Pimp Named Magoo? Then again with someone of his... status... he doubted if they weren't spice dealers. That would explain it. Not that it mattered however- what mattered was A Pimp Named Magoo had credits. Johari glanced at [member="A Pimp Named Magoo"]'s slave (servant?) as she stared at him, before looking back to Pimpy. What was his company worth? Well... next to nothing. He was near bankruptcy. However, it would have been foolish to simply say that. "My company is fairly new. It has not yet had the oppurtunity to.. build it's reputation- and with that, it's worth. You have heard the phrase 'You need to spend money to make money', yes? I am afraid I don't have that money to spend as of yet..." Johari said that with 'but you do' implied in his voice. "It would not take much. Jewels sell easily."

 

[Magoo]

"Jewels, huh?" I say, glancing at my pimpcane. The cane was missing something special: A giant jewel on the top. That would be a wonderful addition to my already lavish lifestyle. I imagined jewels decorating the Swaggin Wagon. If there is one thing I love, it's bling. Of course, part of that is from the pimp's code, but who can resist the gleam of jewels when the light hits them just right?

"You sound like you need a stimulus of sort. A little cash injection to get the business up and running. Do you have any minin equipment? A license? Available workers? Don't be afraid to answer. I just need to know how much cash I should be throwin down and what I should get out of it," I say, twirling my pimpcane in circles idly. I take out a pipe and some Marcan herb, lighting up and blowing some smoke. I hold it out for the Hutt and pull out an extra pipe, just in case he wants some too.


[member="Johari the Hutt"]

 

[Johari the Hutt]

The Hutt waved a hand in a gesture of dismisal at the offer of herb. He dind't much like being intoxicated. Definitely not your classic Hutt. However, Johari's greedy eyes lit up at [member="A pimp named magoo"]'s interest in jewels. Fantastic. Another smile twitched onto his face when Magoo made it fairly obvious that he wa sindeed totally interested. Johari did not hesitat eto awnser. "Sadly I lost my only mine, one dedicated to Barab Ore. I do have the needed liscenses, but sadly I have no workers or equipment to speak of. I would hope you could assist with that?"

 

[Magoo]

(No color text c/c on mobile, dialogue Just in quotes)


"Barab ore? That's pretty hazardous. Well, I guess that goes to show you can handle your workers well enough. What happened to your mine anyways? Washed away? Irradiated?" I ask. I don't care that the Hutt turned down my offer of Marcan herb, though it is a little unusual for a Hutt to decline the offer of Marcan.

"I can't supply workers or equipment myself, but I can supply the money for you to acquire the necessary goods. I will need a stake in the profite, which can include receiving the occasional jewel," I say. Havin new bling will be nice, but the prospect of earning more money is even mote exciting

 

[Johari the Hutt]

The Hutt frowned slightly at the mention of his old mine. "Ah... Collapsed. Explosion." He left out the cause of the explosion; sabatogue. Wans't a good idea to tell buisness partners that you had people conciously trying to destroy the buisness being invested in. Of course those people were now blown to tiny bits by a Red Ravens bomb. But still. The Hutt smiled broadly once more as [member="A Pimp Named Magoo"] mentioned supplying money, and gave his terms. "That would be most acceptable. How much stock do you require?" The Hutt spoke, wondering what Magoo would ask. He of course had every intention of haggling. He might not be your average Hutt, but he was still a Hutt.

 

[Magoo]

"Well, I'm expectin to drop about 2 mil in for you," I say, twirlin my pimp cane in hand as I think about my offer. "Now, I'm a reasonable man, so I'm thinkin maybe 40% stock. I would ask for more, but this includes gettin the occasional jewels from the mines."

I am biddin high, of course. I know there is hagglin to come, and I set myself up to get a reasonable deal on the end of it. Hopefully I can get away with a little extra. Even an extra 2% could mean millions over an extended period of time, and I need to keep the Swaggin Wagon, an extension of my pimpness, at top shape.

 

[Johari the Hutt]

The Hutt's wide mouth twitched into a brief smile once more at the mention of two million credits. However, it fell at his price. Of course he though this was perfectly reasonable. Two million credits for 40 percent of a nearly bankrupt company? A good deal. However, this man was a buisnessman. Meaning he most likely suspected there would haggling, negotiation. Meaning he was aiming high. He could get lower.

"Two million would be more then enough... enough to purchase a new mine, a workforce. However... don't you think forty percent of a company that is sure to make millions upon millions off selling jewels is worth more then that? 20 percent, perhaps."

Johari was aiming low much as [member="A Pimp Named Magoo"] was aiming high. The art of haggling.

 

[Magoo]

"20%? I wasn't born yesterday!" I exclaim, almost droppin ny pimpcane in surprise. Now, I am expectin the Hutt to taim low, but this was lower than low. Of course, starting the price off extremely low was part of the art of haggling. My real goal is about 35%, but I have to bring him up before I go down. After all, I do hold the trump card here. I can always invest in other businesses, but I might be his only shot at a future.

"39%," I say, lettin it known that I don't intend to go very low. If I had to, I will eventually play the old "walk away" card, but I am genuinely interested in the business, so tgat would be a last resort.


[member="Johari the Hutt"]

 

[Johari the Hutt]

Johari paused a moment. He would have to be careful haggling too much, he needed [member="A Pimp Named Magoo"]'s money. And he knew it. He would have been perfectly fine with 39%... but he still felt he could get a few percentages lower. "Thirty-five, then." The Hutt watched Magoo's reaction carefully, in order to gauge whether or not he should continue trying to haggle. He had to be careful...

 

[Magoo]

Thirty five is just the price I need. I could go higher, but I should be headed on my way to meet other potential investments. I decide that the price is right for me and get my datapad ready to transfer the money.

"35% sounds perfect to me. As long as I get the occasional jewel, of course. I'll send the money to your account now," I say, tapping quickly into the datapad. Hopefully I can wrap this deal up.

 

[Johari the Hutt]

Johari gave sanother wide, stretched smile, and nodded. Fantastic. He would get hte investment he needed. "A pleasure doing buisness with you. I assure you youre investment will not be a waste." He would be quick to find a new mine, preferably something more profitable then Barab Ore... If he was smart, and lucky, Johari could easily win back the two million.

(Sorry for the late reply, didn't get a tag [member="Magoo"] )