Seydon of Arda
Raquor'daan
[SIZE=10pt]To My Dearest~[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]Rosa… It has been so many months of silence. I did not mean for it. Events occurred and played out of my hand. Out of my control. At least, that is what I wish to say. My conscience will tell me that I had more control than I dared to realize. It is warm though I am cold as I write this. I think I will be seeing you soon, now, and I pray that you will still recognize me. I look in the mirror and it is as though a stranger stands in my place, staring back. I am told that it is the journey that is respected, not the destination you land. If this is true, than I am not sure either the path I have walked nor where I have found myself at the end was at all worth it.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]There is so much to tell you, Rosa. Will you be patient for me? And read? I found my mother on a warworld called Saijo. I rescued the child of a local arms dealer, and met a man through the affair named Stenwulf. He led a woman named Guenyvhar Gunn to me, who decided that I was to come with her, and her band. She called them ‘the Sayda’. I was beaten. Brought to Tatooine, beneath the ignorant noses of the Confederacy, and beaten some more. Stenwulf took a strange liking to that, giving me pain. I learned there why this Guenyvhar had such an interest me. She told me that I was her son and she my mother. I had thought her dead since my infancy. I wonder if you know the kind of pain that is wrought in your heart, when truth and agony meet together.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]She gave me a choice. I could join with her, and we could make up for so many years of lost time. Or I could be left to fend for myself in the deep deserts and try my fortune looking for pity from the Sand People. That alone should have been enough to worry and warn me. I was hurt. So I told her yes. She put me under the training of a legionnaire named Shev Rayner. A very good man. You would have liked him. He taught me many things, and that took up many months of this year alone. He was family I had not known, though I wished dearly that his presence had stayed close in my youth. Did I tell you? He was there for my birth! Shev had known me since I was a screaming babe…[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]After, I was to accompany mother, and Stenwulf, on their ventures. I did so, and saw a side of Guenyvhar I wish I had never bore witness. I killed pirates on Commenor… Fought and slayed Bando Gora on Terminus… But for every good deed I tried to commit, Rosa, it felt like I was sullied by a thousand bad actions. An honorable warrior I defeated and bared mercy to on Commenor was executed with a boot over her throat and a shot through her eye. I tore out the beating artifact heart of a Bando Gora archon and gave it over to my mother. She gave it to the hand of a rival ‘Gora sect. …And on Nar Shaddaa, I aided in transferring slaves over to the ownership of a businesswoman. You do not know how compromised I felt. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]I’d truly failed… Myself and my friends. And you…[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]Mother and I, we could not help but argue. Stenwulf did not help things. Training with Shev, he took me to a set of caves in the Tatooine deserts he called ‘The Fears.’ I was granted a vision: I saw how my father was murdered. I do not know all the faces of those who stood by and watched him killed, but that is something we will discuss voice to voice. Stenwulf had been there. Someone strode forth and betrayed my father. I had been there to see it, when I was young… I must have forgotten… By accident or by purpose of… Of trauma.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]Between myself, and Guen, and Sten, things came to a head on Tund. Yes. Where I was rescued as a child, and where I lost my family. We raided a Sith depot for supplies. Again, my mother executed a helpless commander in cold blood. I had never so berated her as I did. But it was useless, for she had already made up her mind long before we touched the ashen earth. …Guenyvhar Gunn, my mother, revealed herself to me. She had shot and murdered my father. And she shot and left me for dead. But, if this letter is any indication… I survived.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]I made my way back to Tatooine. Shev too had been killed. He left me with a holovid, explaining things as best he could. He was not a very eloquent man. But the Sayda… They were a family inheritance, Rosa. We were meant to hunt monsters, both in animals and in men, and do our outmost to protect those easy to prey upon. The Sayda were betrayed when they gave over to greed. Thanks to Stenwulf. He polluted my mother’s ambition. She convinced my father to help oversee a heist on Denon. When the aftermath went sour, well… Dathan Gunn was asked to make a sacrifice. His conscience caught up with him. He could not. So Guen shot him and left me to be found by… either the task force sent to hunt them, or anyone else drifting by.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]The Sayda I tracked to Contruum. They were aiding the local authorities, hunting down armed and unarmed rebels. Killing. Slaughtering. Even scalping, whatever they saw fit to enact. It was… monstrous. So I avenged the dead and myself upon them, and killed two score before they set a trap. Stenwulf faced me in combat. I should have died, but I bested him. Somehow. From him, I learned where my mother hid herself… And chose to pursue.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]We fought… I killed her on an icy cliff while the moons and stars stared on… [/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]And now, I am writing this to you in the berth of a gunboat. I am bloody and torn, but I am alive. My soul is still crying. I want to go back to Spira, but… There is nothing that can reverse this. I killed my mother, and now I doubt… so much. What sort of Jedi am I? I feel the call of a hunt in my blood and I cannot find the strength to ignore it. I am fast to emotions… You know that. You know how fast and deep I was to love you… I am caught between a set of gray threads. It is difficult to make sense of anything. But for now, my eyes have run dry and my voice is croaked and spent. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]I will see you soon. And I will tell you, in person, how much I have missed you… How much I still love you…[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]Be safe and be strong, Rosa Mazhar[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]~Seroth Ur-Rahn[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]~[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]Somewhere, Not Very Long Ago[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]The world didn’t have a name, not according to modern star charts and databank entries. It could be found if one sought out a pair of three stars and flew to the second one on the right, straight on until a full morning cycle broke through. There laid an untouched realm of lush jungle and arboreal realms, deserts, snow tundra’s, peaks that could reach past and touch at the void. Not a sentient had stepped foot to break the virgin earth beneath the pattern of a boot sole. But on brisk day across the northern shield of a tract of pine forest, a band of six-legged deer that size of bantha’s hurried on at a blinding speed. Some shadow cloaked in a brown duster, with only an axe in hand, knife on his belt, and a club over his shoulders, ran after them from above, leaping from branch to bough. For the moment, the Force was with him, as he leaped high into the air and gave an eagle’s cry…[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]Rosa… It has been so many months of silence. I did not mean for it. Events occurred and played out of my hand. Out of my control. At least, that is what I wish to say. My conscience will tell me that I had more control than I dared to realize. It is warm though I am cold as I write this. I think I will be seeing you soon, now, and I pray that you will still recognize me. I look in the mirror and it is as though a stranger stands in my place, staring back. I am told that it is the journey that is respected, not the destination you land. If this is true, than I am not sure either the path I have walked nor where I have found myself at the end was at all worth it.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]There is so much to tell you, Rosa. Will you be patient for me? And read? I found my mother on a warworld called Saijo. I rescued the child of a local arms dealer, and met a man through the affair named Stenwulf. He led a woman named Guenyvhar Gunn to me, who decided that I was to come with her, and her band. She called them ‘the Sayda’. I was beaten. Brought to Tatooine, beneath the ignorant noses of the Confederacy, and beaten some more. Stenwulf took a strange liking to that, giving me pain. I learned there why this Guenyvhar had such an interest me. She told me that I was her son and she my mother. I had thought her dead since my infancy. I wonder if you know the kind of pain that is wrought in your heart, when truth and agony meet together.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]She gave me a choice. I could join with her, and we could make up for so many years of lost time. Or I could be left to fend for myself in the deep deserts and try my fortune looking for pity from the Sand People. That alone should have been enough to worry and warn me. I was hurt. So I told her yes. She put me under the training of a legionnaire named Shev Rayner. A very good man. You would have liked him. He taught me many things, and that took up many months of this year alone. He was family I had not known, though I wished dearly that his presence had stayed close in my youth. Did I tell you? He was there for my birth! Shev had known me since I was a screaming babe…[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]After, I was to accompany mother, and Stenwulf, on their ventures. I did so, and saw a side of Guenyvhar I wish I had never bore witness. I killed pirates on Commenor… Fought and slayed Bando Gora on Terminus… But for every good deed I tried to commit, Rosa, it felt like I was sullied by a thousand bad actions. An honorable warrior I defeated and bared mercy to on Commenor was executed with a boot over her throat and a shot through her eye. I tore out the beating artifact heart of a Bando Gora archon and gave it over to my mother. She gave it to the hand of a rival ‘Gora sect. …And on Nar Shaddaa, I aided in transferring slaves over to the ownership of a businesswoman. You do not know how compromised I felt. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]I’d truly failed… Myself and my friends. And you…[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]Mother and I, we could not help but argue. Stenwulf did not help things. Training with Shev, he took me to a set of caves in the Tatooine deserts he called ‘The Fears.’ I was granted a vision: I saw how my father was murdered. I do not know all the faces of those who stood by and watched him killed, but that is something we will discuss voice to voice. Stenwulf had been there. Someone strode forth and betrayed my father. I had been there to see it, when I was young… I must have forgotten… By accident or by purpose of… Of trauma.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]Between myself, and Guen, and Sten, things came to a head on Tund. Yes. Where I was rescued as a child, and where I lost my family. We raided a Sith depot for supplies. Again, my mother executed a helpless commander in cold blood. I had never so berated her as I did. But it was useless, for she had already made up her mind long before we touched the ashen earth. …Guenyvhar Gunn, my mother, revealed herself to me. She had shot and murdered my father. And she shot and left me for dead. But, if this letter is any indication… I survived.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]I made my way back to Tatooine. Shev too had been killed. He left me with a holovid, explaining things as best he could. He was not a very eloquent man. But the Sayda… They were a family inheritance, Rosa. We were meant to hunt monsters, both in animals and in men, and do our outmost to protect those easy to prey upon. The Sayda were betrayed when they gave over to greed. Thanks to Stenwulf. He polluted my mother’s ambition. She convinced my father to help oversee a heist on Denon. When the aftermath went sour, well… Dathan Gunn was asked to make a sacrifice. His conscience caught up with him. He could not. So Guen shot him and left me to be found by… either the task force sent to hunt them, or anyone else drifting by.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]The Sayda I tracked to Contruum. They were aiding the local authorities, hunting down armed and unarmed rebels. Killing. Slaughtering. Even scalping, whatever they saw fit to enact. It was… monstrous. So I avenged the dead and myself upon them, and killed two score before they set a trap. Stenwulf faced me in combat. I should have died, but I bested him. Somehow. From him, I learned where my mother hid herself… And chose to pursue.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]We fought… I killed her on an icy cliff while the moons and stars stared on… [/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]And now, I am writing this to you in the berth of a gunboat. I am bloody and torn, but I am alive. My soul is still crying. I want to go back to Spira, but… There is nothing that can reverse this. I killed my mother, and now I doubt… so much. What sort of Jedi am I? I feel the call of a hunt in my blood and I cannot find the strength to ignore it. I am fast to emotions… You know that. You know how fast and deep I was to love you… I am caught between a set of gray threads. It is difficult to make sense of anything. But for now, my eyes have run dry and my voice is croaked and spent. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]I will see you soon. And I will tell you, in person, how much I have missed you… How much I still love you…[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]Be safe and be strong, Rosa Mazhar[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]~Seroth Ur-Rahn[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]~[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]Somewhere, Not Very Long Ago[/SIZE]
[SIZE=10pt]The world didn’t have a name, not according to modern star charts and databank entries. It could be found if one sought out a pair of three stars and flew to the second one on the right, straight on until a full morning cycle broke through. There laid an untouched realm of lush jungle and arboreal realms, deserts, snow tundra’s, peaks that could reach past and touch at the void. Not a sentient had stepped foot to break the virgin earth beneath the pattern of a boot sole. But on brisk day across the northern shield of a tract of pine forest, a band of six-legged deer that size of bantha’s hurried on at a blinding speed. Some shadow cloaked in a brown duster, with only an axe in hand, knife on his belt, and a club over his shoulders, ran after them from above, leaping from branch to bough. For the moment, the Force was with him, as he leaped high into the air and gave an eagle’s cry…[/SIZE]
~Fin~