Private A Reason For Being [Jand Talo]

[Caedyn Arenais]

A Reason For Being​

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Location: The Jedi Temple of Coruscant.
Tagging: Jand Talo .

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It was a new day for Coruscant, and another early morning start for Caedyn Arenais.

Seated at his desk situated within his personal quarters, he had spent some time reading over the updates and information coming in through from the head Archivist and Council directives. Among the new roster of lessons that he had opted to teach, the new members coming into the New Jedi Order, the news coming out of neighbouring political powers and current affairs in general, Caedyn had also noticed a message had come through from one of the students, incidentally one of the newer ones in fact.

Apparently, the new Padawan who, according to their holonet account went by the name of Jand Talo, was requesting to meet with him in the bid to take on some new learning. This, Caedyn found to be rather pleasing given that teaching was something he had always enjoyed, and had become his current focus after returning to active duty in the Order.

Greetings Padawan,

I'll be available to meet with you this afternoon in the training quarters and we can further discuss your future training with the Order here. I'll be happy to give you lessons in the Force, Theories and Saber Arts. We can discuss further options depending on your interest and proceed where my schedule will allow.

Regards,
Caedyn Arenais,
Jedi Knight.

---

Later on in the afternoon, Caedyn arrived in the Training Wing of the Jedi Temple as he had suggested, seeking out one of the dojo not being used by the students and their mentors. The room was as wide as it was long, consisting of seating surrounding the sparring floor; A thick padded white mat for the use of training.

Moving into the centre of the room, the Jedi Knight would seat himself with his legs crossed, his hands resting gently atop his knees while he awaited the new study to arrive.

 

[Jand Talo]

It was good news.

After seeking out an appointment with a more veteran Jedi, Jand had been given a response to meet. The message sent by the Padawan had been simple, direct, like Jand himself. There was a need to seek out guidance, as Jand had yet to be selected by a master, and the group training was... less focused, in some ways. Though, if he was one thing, Jand was pragmatic, and he had no issue seeking out answers or solutions himself.

So, at the allotted time, Jand stepped into the doorway of the dojo.

A pale skinned youth, with black hair, gray eyes and pointed ears, Jand was dressed in his usual Jedi robes with his training lightsaber attached to his belt. Unsure of what to expect, but seeing as the meeting was to take place in the training dojo, Jand had elected to wear his common clothing.

The Nagai saw the individual he sought in the middle of the room, seated cross-legged. He walked over and came to a stop before the sentient, a human if Jand recalled, and bowed his head as he announced himself:

"Caedyn Arenais, I am Jand Talo," The Nagai was passive, but he spoke in a low tone, so as to avoid startling should the other Jedi be in meditation. "Thank you for agreeing to meet me, taking time away from your own Padawan."

Jand was glad for the opportunity. The seated individual before him had been recommended by some fellow Padawans. Whether Caedyn would be able to help remained to be seen, but Jand felt somewhat hopeful and would certainly give the Jedi Knight every opportunity to try.

"I apologize if I have interrupted a meditative moment. I can wait if you require it."

With that said, Jand remained standing, hands at his sides and his dark eyes observing the other individual...

Caedyn Arenais​

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

As Jand Talo entered the dojo, Caedyn's eyes opened and he smiled in response to the Padawan's polite greeting; "You're not interrupting, I was simply passing the time until you arrived" the Jedi Knight extended his left hand inviting the lad to take a seat before him. Waiting for the young man to join him and get comfortable, Caedyn studied Jand's features. He had all the traits of a Nagai, a people who Caedyn had met with in times past over the years of his service in the Order. His experiences with them were few, yet enough to recognize them upon meeting.

"I always have time to help a student of the Order learn about the path set out before them" Caedyn spoke, seeking to encourage the boy to feel at ease in seeking out his assistance; "And in order to do so, I need to learn more about your experience so far. What have you learned since your arrival, and what interests you most about being a Jedi? Your strengths, your aspirations and what it means to be a Jedi to you".

If he was to best assist the young Padawan, then Caedyn wished to gain some idea of the direction Jand Talo wished to explore. The life of a Jedi was a long and difficult road, but one that a committed Padawan such as himself might find success in, with the right training and role modelling from his senior peers and Masters of the New Jedi Order.

 

[Jand Talo]

Jand nodded, then lowered himself into a sit with his legs, which were crossed as he touched the training floor mat.

When the Jedi Knight began to observe him, Jand held the other's look without any discomfort or awkwardness, as that was not his way. Other Padawans were uncertain, inept in some social interactions, but Jand was sure of himself, who he was and what he stood for. That tended to translate to others as an expression of confidence or determination. It remained to be seen what Caedyn saw.

As Caedyn continued, there was a sincerity in his voice and manner that Jand respected. The Jedi Knight went on to substantiate the value of seeking advice and guidance, with affirmation; and it was good for the Nagai to know, in simple terms, that assistance would be available, should it be needed. The Jedi Order, so far, had been collectively supportive, and had made the departure from Jand's close family circles more bearable.

"I have been involved in group exercises and training," Jand said when it was his time to speak. His voice remained low, passive. "Fundamentals of the Force, is the best way to describe it, I feel. My experience in the Force has been limited, my upbringing in Nagai culture did not account for its use in my species' traditional practices. This has resulted in most of my lessons and experiences being gained while at the Jedi Temple."

Jand considered for a moment.

"I find communing with the Force difficult. My Padawan peers each seem talented in its application, where I struggle to touch or use it to any great effect. I am behind most with telekinesis, my rock piling is seen as average as an example. My use of the Force is improved when it comes to combat, perhaps due to my upbringing with combative meditation from a young age... this may be where I am most comfortable, most calm, and most focused."

The young Padawan paused, then added, though his voice carried no sense of boasting or bragging:

"My combat training is going exceedingly well. I am very capable in bladed weapon use, and my instructors state they are impressed, and I am well into the Ataru form - though, my natural dexterity and speed are supplementing the bigger portion of my improvement, rather than channeling the Force. So, I feel that outright combat is well on its way to being developed... and my biggest obstacle is the Force itself."

Jand sighed.

"I apologize if this is a bigger burden than you might have expected."

Caedyn Arenais​

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"All of us are burdened in some form when it comes to knowledge and skills we lack" Caedyn replied with a smile, dismissing Jand Talo 's apology with a passive wave of his left hand, accompanied by words spoken in a bid to reassure the young lad; "We all have weaknesses, but they don't need to remain that way. With time and perseverance, study and practice, you will learn to build upon those skills and be better for the struggle that it might have taken. Nothing worthwhile should ever come easily". After all, if it were easy, then anyone could do it.

"Forgive me for asking, but as I'm not as well acquainted with the Nagai people as others might be, I must ask about your cultural background and what traits you feel you have brought with you from your homeworld" Caedyn questioned. He had met a handful in his years but never inquired as to how they lived; "From what little I know, yours is a people skilled in martial arts and combatant prowess as you yourself have said regarding your lessons in the saber arts?" Caedyn added, showing that he did in fact know something if only minimal knowledge.

The Jedi Knight would fall quiet, to allow the Padawan the time to answer his questions. He had other queries come to mind, however, felt it best not to make the lad feel as though he were being interrogated with twenty questions. First impressions thus far had been pleasing. Jand was polite and seemed conscious of making a good example of himself. It was normal for all Jedi to question their potential, and to seek to enhance upon their perceived weaknesses. So early into his days as a Jedi Padawan, Jand had years ahead of him yet and Caedyn couldn't help but wear a faint smile whilst thinking about how far Jand might come with time and dedication.

 

[Jand Talo]

Jand listened.

Caedyn's words made sense, when one approached matters from the purpose of achieving, as the Nagai Padawan did. But, since the goal was to try and look beyond tactical or combative methodology, Jand tried to keep an open mind and approach things from a more... non-Nagai perspective, in the sense that he wanted to see from more than simply a martial approach.

It was difficult.

When the Jedi Knight asked about more information regarding the Nagai, Jand nodded. He expected that, his species were not well-known, most confused him for other near-humans, such as Echani, so he had come prepared knowing that question might crop up. With a slow nod, an exhale, the pale Padawan began to share:

"The Nagai are warriors, first and foremost, our struggle against the Tof has been consistent to our culture for as long as any can recall," Jand began, as he tried to balance sharing enough and potentially hindering his progress. "Our families are very important to us, but our personal honor even more so - it is essentially our life. Each clan is considered a circle, in Nagai society, and each clan is considered a certain number - the greatest being one, the next down being two and a 'sub-circle', and so on."

Jand paused, as he considered how to explain the next part.

"Within our communities, the Nagai typically mate within their respective circles, across varying different families. But, at times, a lower sub-circle might be elevated through successful social testing of physical prowess. Such as defeating a higher socially positioned opponent in a duel. That is why, from a young age, all Nagai are taught to fight, especially one that is a lesser circle - and by that measure, seen as less in our society."

For Jand, it sounded as normal as seeing the sun during the day. For others, especially non-Nagai, it might have been odd. That remained to be seen.

"The Tof wars forced Nagai to mate outside of our usual circles, which caused some chaos and confusion for a time. But now, with many Nagai relocated to Saijo, those original traditions have started again in some communities. What didn't change, was the focus on fighting prowess and preparation to defend personal honor."

The pale Padawan glanced down, unsure of if he should mention the words he thought...

"My people... also consider lives outside of their families as - uh - worthless. Nagai have no scruples and will kill without care or conscience. Sometimes simply because it suits us. Duels are often to the death, personal honor demands that within my society, and to preserve that comes above all things. My clan was not always a first circle, and in my younger years I engaged in honor duels..."

Jand looked up, gray eyes studied the Jedi Knight, to determine whether there was judgment there - or worse, disgust.

"It is not lost on me, that my culture and the Jedi Order's belief systems are diametrically opposed. It is something I have struggled to find balance with, since my arrival here. The Nagai do not care about life, but the Jedi seek to protect it... I live with contradictions on a daily basis, with two clashing philosophies and beliefs, as my past and future war against the other."

It was enough to make Jand almost lose his mind, some days...

Caedyn Arenais​

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

Caedyn listened intently to the young Nagai Padawan, Jand Talo explaining his cultural background in some depth, arguably more than what Caedyn might have received from the others he had met with in recent weeks. It was pleasant to learn about Jand's people in such detail and description, and it would go on to give the Jedi Knight further insight into the young Padawan and his future role within the New Jedi Order.

"It is not lost on me, that my culture and the Jedi Order's belief systems are diametrically opposed. It is something I have struggled to find balance with, since my arrival here. The Nagai do not care about life, but the Jedi seek to protect it... I live with contradictions on a daily basis, with two clashing philosophies and beliefs, as my past and future war against the other."

"Yes, I can imagine so" Caedyn agreed with Jand, pausing briefly to consider the boy's possible upbringing and the values that he may have brought to the Temple with him; "Yet you are here now, with the Jedi. Perhaps, within yourself, you do see value in the lives of others?" he asked. It was a simple question for most people, those not of the Nagai for example, yet for Jand, it meant a difference between agreeing with the life in which he had been raised or distancing himself from his very people, thus Caedyn posed the question gently and without assumption.

"To walk the path, can look different from one individual to another. There are numerous roles within the Jedi Order, as there are personal differences in every member. What may work for your peers, may not align with the path that's right for you, and that's perfectly okay" Caedyn smiled, seeking to reassure the young Nagai; "It is not a black and white life that we live, and so do not be discouraged by your struggles. They are a part of your growth, and often lead to the most beneficial learning".

"I would not ask you to forsake where you have come from, but as you are now with the Order, I would encourage you to look to the Jedi as though they are your Clan" Caedyn continued, speaking of the New Jedi Order and suggesting that they were to be his family now. "You can bring honour in your role as a Jedi. Some would say that to be a Jedi is indeed a very honourable role in the Galaxy. Honour in acting with absolute integrity every day. Honour in living alongside and supporting your peers. Honour in persevering through the difficult times, and fighting for those without the strength to defend themselves or advocate for a better life".

"However..." Caedyn paused once more, looking to Jand for a moment to gauge his interest; "It is not an easy path, and there will be some lessons that will possibly contradict that which we've been taught in the past. One example is that the Jedi do not take the lives of others unless there is absolutely no alternative, and only in order to protect the lives of others. As you mentioned, the Nagai are not so. Every Jedi in the Order here has a responsibility to serve the lives of those in the Galaxy, as in serving life, we are serving the Force. That which lives and breathes through all living creatures and beings around us".

 

[Jand Talo]

When it was Jand's turn to listen, he did. The Padawan liked to afford sentients the same respect he expected, and Caedyn had listened to his explanation, so the same attentiveness was given. The question about seeing the value in the lives of others brought a perplexed frown to Jand's features as he wondered about that.

"Not generally, no... I see value in some, I would say."

Still, it was difficult to change the very foundations of your life, to adjust - literally - everything you believed and held important, for the sake of joining a mysterious organization that used the Force. At least the Jedi Knight knew the difficulty that posed, understood enough to voice that, which caused Jand to feel some sense of ease. It wasn't an easy topic, Jand suspected not many Jedi would want to discuss it, since it might prove easier to just ignore the Nagai until he went away.

The suggestion to look at the Jedi as a clan did cause Jand to raise his eyebrows. He waited as Caedyn mentioned honor, which was vital to the Nagai and Jand himself, before providing some insight as to the reason behind the philosophy of the Jedi's want to preserve all life - even the lives of questionable sentients, Jand assumed. There hadn't been any definition provided, no specifics, so he could only believe that the Jedi Knight implied all lives.

"It is not that simple, sadly," Jand said in a low voice, as he glanced down. "It is a lot more complex than a change in perspective... a clan is everything, for a Nagai. It would be like saying to remove an arm, and replace it with another. It would never be what it was, and would forever tarnish the body with a foreign limb. However--"

When it came back to the mention of honor.

"--honor is the most important thing to me, to Nagai. Our personal honor, as I mentioned, is our life. Perhaps I might be able to... adapt my belief of my own, to include - as you said - the honor of fighting for those weaker than myself? To challenge their adversaries in their place and defeat those that oppress them?"

It was an intriguing notion, one that could open some potential for thriving within the Jedi Order. Jand considered further, as he spoke in his calm voice, expression thoughtful:

"I find it difficult to believe or consider I might come to see the Jedi way as fully as others, there just seems so little a chance of that. But, perhaps, I can form my own path - as you said - and begin to shift my sense of personal honor as I mentioned. I will seek to kill any enemies that threaten me, always, my culture and beliefs demand that... but maybe I can... adapt my response to threats, if they are not my own but are someone else's whom I am protecting?"

Jand hoped he was making some kind of sense. He understood that the Jedi were peaceful, at least in terms of their methodology for common practice, so the intent to kill wasn't exactly ideal. But, that also applied to those who held killing with any kind of moral spectrum, to which the Nagai - and consequently Jand - did not... the species simply didn't care, they held apathy toward the act, and were encouraged to kill to gain advantage.

To kill for a Nagai was like another species getting a cup of caf.

That simple.

"It stands to reason that, maybe I could find such a compromise, where I protect for the sake of my personal honor by way of my culture."

The subject was difficult to navigate.

It was why Jand was where he was.

"Does that make sense, Knight Caedyn? Or am I being foolish?"

Caedyn Arenais​

 

[Caedyn Arenais]

"Let's not think of it as replacing your clan, but rather your clan has grown with the inclusion of your Jedi peers?" Caedyn suggested softly. Jand Talo and the Nagai people seemed to be a very logical-minded one, and so the suggestion might not have had much weight but if there was a way of helping the lad to be open to the adaption of his thinking, the Jedi Knight felt it might help to bring him closer to his fellow students and mentors within the Order by aligning them alongside that of his clan and family. "It's just a thought. Something to consider" he added with a smile before looking to consider all else that Jand had spoken of.

"I do understand the importance of honour to your people, and I dare say that honour also means a lot to the Jedi Order too. I think it makes a lot of sense in what you're saying about adapting your sense of honour alongside serving as a Jedi, as certainly, Jedi seek to act honourably in all that they do. This is something I believe cannot be argued. As an individual and member of the Jedi Order, I myself try to conduct myself in the best manner that I can do, wherever it is possible and within my control" the Jedi Knight expressed, speaking from personal experience and of his own values.

"I don't think that it's uncommon for Jedi to come into the Order and immediately agree or see value in all of the Order's ideologies or views either. Much of our philosophy can differ from person to person as we all carry different understandings, beliefs and perspectives governed by the backgrounds and upbringing that we have come from" Caedyn paused for a moment, giving the Padawan some time to consider his words before moving to elaborate, "My sense of honour will likely differ in some ways from your own, but we are both members of the Jedi Order today, and we will go on to serve in ways that we are best capable and suited to".

"At the end of the day, your individuality will make you an asset to the Order. There is no one way to be a Jedi and your experience and way of being will provide a different approach to that of my own and others; This isn't a bad thing as you will be able to connect with other Nagai or people with similar ideologies, more so than someone without. What I don't want is for you to go in, while believing that you need to change who you are or forget where you have come from. At the end of the day we are still sentient, and we are here seeking to serve as honourably as we can do" the Jedi Knight encouraged, looking upon the Nagai Padawan with a gentle and warm gaze. Whether Jand felt it or not, there was great promise in his future and Caedyn could already see this.

"Time will take its toll. You don't need to know everything from day one, so do give yourself time to adjust to the change in lifestyle while keeping an open mind in your lessons ahead".

 

[Jand Talo]

Jand listened, cross-legged as he had been for the duration of the discussion, and maintained his calm demeanor.

The words being spoken were not unexpected, but some of the insight was thought provoking, enough so that Jand had started to consider some of the suggestions more deeply. It was a relief to hear that Caedyn understood the importance of honor to the Nagai, as it almost every way it was everything to a Nagai's existence, and there was respect for the Jedi Knight who didn't seek to interfere with that sense of being.

From a planet composed mostly of Nagai, the galaxy had been a lot for Jand to come to terms with, and in some ways the youth was still learning how to navigate the complexities of so many different Governments, cultures, species and societies. It seemed almost every other day that some obstacle or unknown facet was presented to him, one that he was expected to overcome as a Jedi, rather than a more direct approach as a Nagai.

Needless to say, the Nagai approach was more final.

Jand continued to listen, his gray eyes level, as the words passed over him. There were many variables for the Jedi, it seemed, so much so that even Caedyn could admit there was no clear or direct path for each member of the Order. That was some comfort, as it indicated that a Jedi could walk their own path, within the overarching whole, while still retaining what made them them. One of the biggest concerns Jand had had was losing his identity, to become another enforcer of peace, essentially brainwashed into Jedi philosophy and ideals.

"It is good to know I am not expected to become someone I am not," Jand said eventually, after the silence. "And that I am not expected to remake myself in the Jedi Order's mold, because that would be most uncomfortable for a Nagai... we are not a people prone to having independence taken from us."

Unsure of how much Caedyn knew, Jand left the rest unsaid, as not everyone needed to know the only fear Nagai collectively shared.

"You make a lot of sense, I can see the wisdom in your words, and your experience is evident. In some ways, this conversation has already been more beneficial than much of the group training I have had, so I thank you for being candid and honest," Jand nodded, something of a curt bow, as he regarded the other. "I understand what you mean, when you say it will take time, and I now understand that I will have much to consider before I am able to progress as I would like... is it possible that this conflict could be responsible for my difficulty in connecting with the Force?"

Jand didn't like to admit weakness, but he trusted the Jedi Knight opposite him.

"I have had increasing difficulty doing mundane things, as I mentioned earlier. Could my uncertain state of mind be the cause?"

Caedyn Arenais​